You know you're a hiker when...

[leeki pole]

Just wanted to have some fun.

Needed some laughs and smiles! Give it your best shot!

[bloodmountainman]

....soft beds and clean clothes feel uncomfortable.:eek:

[Bulldawg]

You're afraid to shower for fear you won't be able to adjust to the "new" odor.

[sofaking]

you're comfortable with the idea of wearing the same socks for more than two days...

[Footslogger]

...when you have a heart attack and they implant an ICD and your biggest concern is whether or not it will interfere with your shoulder straps.

'Slogger

[sofaking]

...when you have a heart attack and they implant an ICD and your biggest concern is whether or not it will interfere with your shoulder straps.

'Slogger
that's hardcore.

[CrumbSnatcher]

your shuttles already left,and your done crying.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

(I think 'slogger's answer tops any we are likely to give)

You know you're a hiker when you buy an infant-size toothbrush, cut off most of the handle and drill holes in what's left.

[jesse]

when powdered milk taste just as good as the real thing.

[mudhead]

You try and read MS's posts, just in case he has stumbled onto some really cool thing.

[doggiebag]

When you feel a little self-conscious when someone going in the opposite direction catches you laughing hysterically at yourself for no apparent reason (only applies when you're solo).

[max patch]

...you're too busy hiking to have time to post to an internet message board.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

...you're too busy hiking to have time to post to an internet message board.Whoa, Max Patch, that was a blinding flash of self-awareness :D

[TJ aka Teej]

...when you can go on a week long backpack trip with just the stuff in the back of the Jeep.
...when you finally clean out your pack from last Fall's last hike - and eat the loose M&Ms.
...when you have a new $1500 range in the kitchen, and you're out on the back porch cooking Liptons on three different tincan stoves instead. And timing them.
...when the Camp-mor catalog has finally run out of things you really, really, "need".

[Lobo]

when you're hitchhiking, get picked up, and all the windows in the car automatically zoom down within 5 seconds!

[doggiebag]

When you hear how far a destination is - you can easily calculate in your head how long it would take you to get there on foot. Be it on trail or off. "I know someone in Winchester ... that's 70 miles away ... if I really had to - I can be there in 5 or 6 days" etc.

[wakapak]

when you're regular everyday wallet is a ziploc baggie....

[sofaking]

when you can put peanutbutter, pepperoni and tuna on the same sandwich...with honey.

[envirodiver]

When you go to the grocery store and try to figure out how everything you see would cook on the trail , and go by the section that has all the meat, fish, chciken in pouches to see if they have anything new.

[bloodmountainman]

.....You can't remember the name your parents gave you!:eek:

[Lobo]

...when you return home from a long distance hike, you insist on sleeping on the floor and hanging your food bag from the crystal chandelier.

[Ghosthiker]

The framed picture over your couch is a map.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

Your gear 'closet' is larger than your bedroom

[Pootz]

When you are out to dinner and on instinct you eat food off of the table that someone else droped. You are chewing it up when you realize everyone else at the table is staring at you in disbelife.

[envirodiver]

You have a part-time job at an outfitter, just to get discounts on new gear that you don't need.

[doggiebag]

You can't wait for society to break down so you can show off
your mad skilllz :D.

[bigcranky]

Yeah, these sound familiar.

When you can walk into REI, poke around for a couple of hours, and not buy anything 'cause you already have it all.

When a AAA-rated 1-diamond hotel seems pretty luxurious, actually.

When you park at the far end of the parking lot just for the longer walk to the mall. In the rain.

When you have the weather forecast for various locations along the AT bookmarked in your web browser. And you check them several times a day. When you're not hiking.

Same with web cams.

[Wonder]

****when you get excited about packets of olive oil and brown mustard at subway

****when you move 500 miles away from a good job and family to become full time trash

[southpaw95]

I still mail me stuff.:)

[Roots]

When you come to a road crossing and you are happy there is a trash can...

When you no longer know what day of the week it is...

When you actually look forward to a privy...

When the shelters start to make you feel at home--or should I say the shelter areas...

When you are happy to get through another page of your data book...

When you can smell 'clean people' 100ft before they get to you...

[Dances with Mice]

You've bought drinks just because you needed the empty bottle.

[Pootz]

When the best nights sleep you have had since your thru hike was during an overnight in an AT shelter.

[ofthearth]

when powdered milk taste just as good as the real thing.

Better than the real thing - if you use the whole milk kind. When you get off the trail you start adding it to whole milk so it(whole milk the red kind) tastes right. Can be found in Wal-mart.

[ofthearth]

When you are out to dinner and on instinct you eat food off of the table that someone else droped. You are chewing it up when you realize everyone else at the table is staring at you in disbelife.

Or you ask someone next to you (or wherever) if they're going to eat that.

[bloodmountainman]

....When you see a mouse in the kitchen and it reminds you of good times!

[Captain]

when your cooking your girlfriend dinner and you accidently slice through most of your middle finger but just wait till it stops bleeding and throw on a couple of steri strips on it and figure that will do "until i can get it taken care of"

[Sissygirl]

... when you smile at the four-inch scar earned from Blood and can't wait to go back

(no scars the second time!!!)

[mrc237]

When you are out to dinner and on instinct you eat food off of the table that someone else droped. You are chewing it up when you realize everyone else at the table is staring at you in disbelife.

Or using your shirt tail as a napkin

[bloodmountainman]

.....You consider a new pair of Danner boots formal footwear.

[Mags]

...when you have a heart attack and they implant an ICD and your biggest concern is whether or not it will interfere with your shoulder straps.

'Slogger


That's a win! :banana

[RITBlake]

You've bought drinks just because you needed the empty bottle.

Great one!!

[StarLyte]

......when you have a new $1500 range in the kitchen, and you're out on the back porch cooking Liptons on three different tincan stoves instead.....

now that's funny Teej !!!

When you have a garage sale to pay for hiking gear.

When you can't wait to go to the newest Walmart to see if they have the same packaged food as other Walmarts for hiking AND you first check for hiking food when you do your weekly grocery shopping :D

AND....roll of the drum....your sell your deceased ex-husband's 1962 Austin Healey to hike off of for the next several years YEAH !!!!! ...don't ask

[Mrs Baggins]

When you go to the grocery store and try to figure out how everything you see would cook on the trail , and go by the section that has all the meat, fish, chciken in pouches to see if they have anything new.

OMG. I do this every time I'm in a grocery store..........:D

[vonfrick]

...when you sleep on the deck/in the yard because walls freak you out

[D'Artagnan]

... you pass some roadkill and the buzzards start following you.

[Mrs Baggins]

When you don't pick up anything in a store without wondering what it weighs.....

When you realize you haven't bought a piece of clothing in 2 years that couldn't be used on the trail.......

When your only topics of conversation at the end of the day is who said what on White Blaze..........

You can't remember when you ate a candy bar other than Snickers.......

Your dentist hands you a $100 Rotodent toothbrush and you say "No, I can't use that. It's too heavy for my pack!" (should have seen the look on his face:D)

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

When your neighbors make popcorn and set up lawn chairs every time you walk outside holding shiny material.

[Roland]

...when you catch yourself plugging a nostril and leaning forward, while at the office.

[StarLyte]

... you pass some roadkill and the buzzards start following you.

ha ha that's great !!!!

[Mrs Baggins]

You start looking for a bush to pee behind....and realize you're standing on a residential street in your own neighborhood.....(happened to me after just 2 weeks on the trail)

[envirodiver]

...when you catch yourself plugging a nostril and leaning forward, while at the office.

LMAOROTF:D:D:D:D:D

[envirodiver]

You've bought drinks just because you needed the empty bottle.

Bought Listerine last week cause it's a good alcohol bottle and flat.

[Roots]

I found myself plowing through trash to get a soda bottle for my alcohol when I was on my trip. The thing was, I was at Neels Gap and I wasn't alone in the process. No one could do that anywhere else and not have anyone think anything about it. :D

[Skyline]

When you have the weather forecast for various locations along the AT bookmarked in your web browser. And you check them several times a day. When you're not hiking.

Same with web cams.



Damn . . . you do those too?

[envirodiver]

When some one asks you how many tents and/or sleeping bags you have and you start counting and get embarassed.

When you look at everything and try to determine if it can be dehydrated.

When you have more trailfood cookbooks than regular home cookbooks.

[Sleepy the Arab]

You refer to a day off from work as a "zero day."

When shopping for a new car, you can't help estimate how many hikers + gear you can fit inside* in case, you know, you happen to pass by a trail crossing.





*3 if the hikers have internal frames; 2 if they're external. A tight 4 if one happens to be a go-liter. And 0 southbounders 'cause the car don't stop for their kind. :banana

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

You own more wool socks than those made of all other fabrics combined.

[atrerunner]

When you see a ghost and think: 'now *that's* ul'

[vonfrick]

You own more wool socks than those made of all other fabrics combined.

i'll never go back. i swear i got more money in socks these days than i care to think about

[vonfrick]

crocs are a fashion statement

[littlejon]

You bearbag your lunch. At work.

[Mrs Baggins]

You own more wool socks than those made of all other fabrics combined.

Well, yeah. That's not normal..............? :confused:

[Feral Bill]

You own more wool socks than those made of all other fabrics combined.

There are other fabrics for socks?:confused:

[sofaking]

you'd rather pee in a bottle than have to get up at night...

[Squeamish]

You eat your dinner out of your backpacking bowl with only a spoon

The people at the local outdoor store know your name, adress, parents, animals, and want to give you a job

The credit card has a seisure every time you buy a new piece of equipment

When you are eating you wonder if you could maybe pack it

You go for a walk on purpose when its raining

[kayak karl]

.......when your workers save you soda cans, pieces of tyvek, gutter spikes, and flashing and know how to make a soda can stove on their break. :D

reminds me of.......You know your a Redneck when your hubcaps are stolen,...... OFF YOUR HOUSE:D:D

[Frau]

You start wearing nylon and wicking t's to work--along with your wool socks which don't match anything (and you don't care).

You have to make special plans to do chores, because you are ALWAYS on the mountain.

Your first health concern re: your dog is if you have run out of Frontline.

You work to hike and are proud of it.

You have small containers of OFF, partial tp rolls and bandanas in every bag, pack and vehicle.

(Footslogger takes the cake, and Starlyte has an intriguing tale to tell)

Fr.

[adamkrz]

When your laying on a beach in Cancun with your family and all you can think about is sitting next to a fire in front of a remote shelter in the mountains...

[Jim Adams]

when you can put peanutbutter, pepperoni and tuna on the same sandwich...with honey.
...and then figure that the leaves on it from dropping it won't be too bad!

or

when someone asks if you want to go hike for a few months and you realize that you don't need to pack, just grab the pack from your car.

geek

[Jim Adams]

AND....roll of the drum....your sell your deceased ex-husband's 1962 Austin Healey to hike off of for the next several years YEAH !!!!! ...don't ask

LOL...that is sweet!!!!!!!!!!

geek

[boarstone]

You refer to a day off from work as a "zero day."

When shopping for a new car, you can't help estimate how many hikers + gear you can fit inside* in case, you know, you happen to pass by a trail crossing.



*3 if the hikers have internal frames; 2 if they're external. A tight 4 if one happens to be a go-liter. And 0 southbounders 'cause the car don't stop for their kind. :banana
LMAO! I just traded vehicles to get more people/gear in when I need to "help a hiker(s) with a lift!

[Bulldawg]

You start wearing nylon and wicking t's to work

Fr.

LOL:banana:banana:banana:banana

I wore my new Under Armour Boxer shorts to work today to see how they worked out. I even got off my rump a little today to work up a sweat and see if they wicked like they were supposed too.

[Bulldawg]

....you wear hiking boots/shoes to work in order to "break them in"

[Bulldawg]

......you walk into work on Monday morning and your co-workers say "So, how many miles and where this weekend? Get any cool pictures?"

[sofaking]

you won't let your spouse anywhere near your laundry because you're tired of having to replace wool items that didn't survive the dryer...and tired of explaining that you don't use regular detergent, you use sport wash...

[Greentick18d]

Guilty on several counts.

...when a "clean drop" makes your day.

...when you paint white blazes on trees around your house

...you consider Booker's bourbon to be UL cuz it takes less to get a buzz.

[sofaking]

Guilty on several counts.

...when a "clean drop" makes your day.



HA HA HAHA!

[Peaks]

When you go to an outfitter and ask: "What does it weigh?" before you ask "What does it cost?"

[mrc237]

You refer to a day off from work as a "zero day."

When shopping for a new car, you can't help estimate how many hikers + gear you can fit inside* in case, you know, you happen to pass by a trail crossing.





*3 if the hikers have internal frames; 2 if they're external. A tight 4 if one happens to be a go-liter. And 0 southbounders 'cause the car don't stop for their kind. :banana

That just happened to me yesterday when I was thinking of my trip to Trail Days. My car is a 6 seater Chrysler Pacifica my wife drives a compact Suzuki which gets double the mileage I asked Mrs EZ if it would be alright to use her car, after she said OK I thought: What if I see hikers that need a ride? I count it a zero when I skip the gym!

[Tipi Walter]

When you've been outdoors long enough to develop and formulate an entire religion based on your relationship to nature.

[Heater]

When you don't bathe for days, much to the displeasure of your co-workers, so you can test out new medications for crotch rot.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

You can be seen at WalMart's fabric dollar bin attempting to blow thru any ripstop you find and upon finding you can't blow thru it you immediately purchase the entire bolt of cloth.

[Dances with Mice]

You find a trickle of water running over slime-covered rocks and you're freaking ecstatic.

[Alligator]

You calculate the dividend for every purchase made with your REI card.

[cannonball]

Your at a nice returant and you step out side to blow a snot rocket instead of going to the rest room and using a tissue.

[bloodmountainman]

.... you are dining out and order filtered creek water.

[Farr Away]

Bought Listerine last week cause it's a good alcohol bottle and flat.
I've been looking for a good stove-fuel bottle...

[envirodiver]

I've been looking for a good stove-fuel bottle...

This is a good one for alcohol, don't know that it would work for white gas.. Soda bottles work well too, but I like the flat bottle cause it's easier for me to put ion my outside shove-it pocket. The Listerine bottle is also a little thicker than the soda bottles.

[Heater]

I've been looking for a good stove-fuel bottle...

The smaller Listerine bottles are great. They have locking tops and a form that will not be mistaken for other containers accidentally.

[Bearpaw]

You own more wool socks than those made of all other fabrics combined.

When you haven't owned a cotton sock in a decade.

[Bearpaw]

you won't let your spouse anywhere near your laundry because you're tired of having to replace wool items that didn't survive the dryer...and tired of explaining that you don't use regular detergent, you use sport wash...

You only allow unscented detergent in the home because you hike so often in bear country.

[Alligator]

You save half-gone rolls of TP for weekend trips.

[boarstone]

....when you use your packpack while shopping for your groceries for home..instead of using the grocery carts...:D

[envirodiver]

Dehydrator stays on the kitchen counter all of the time.

[bfitz]

....When you don't know most of your best friends' real names.

[Bearpaw]

You've walked enough that your feet have expanded from size 9 1/2 to 11 from age 27 to 37...... :eek:

You say, "It can't be a stress fracture. I still have 150 miles to go!!"

You get the same feeling from looking at a map of an area you hiked as looking at a picture of a beloved relative or friend.

You've soloed long enough that you have heated debates with your teddy bear in your pack's stow-it pocket.

REI becomes that place that keeps you from getting out and actually hiking, so you give notice.

You proudly explain how you've simplified your life by having only 2 packs (instead of 6 or more).

One of the best parts of teaching is the time off to hike.

You and your fiancee arrange your wedding date so it won't conflict with planned hiking trips.

You and your wife-to-be try to arrange conception dates so she won't deliver during summer hiking season.

That's all for now, but I'm sure I'll think of MANY more.

[Mags]

You know you are a hiker when you go walk... :)

[RadioFreq]

Dehydrator stays on the kitchen counter all of the time.

...when your scale stays of the kitchen counter all of the time.

[sheepdog]

When you buy a can of food, just because you think you can make a stove out of it.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

When you buy a can of food, just because you think you can make a stove out of it.Or you buy cat food and you don't even have a cat.
You and your wife-to-be try to arrange conception dates so she won't deliver during summer hiking season."'slogger has some completion for most hardcore hiking symptom.

[saimyoji]

When you go to the outfitter and don't bother to ask the weights....cause you've already memorized them all.

[jlb2012]

When you no longer wear underwear anywhere except to the doctor's office.

[D'Artagnan]

...you seriously consider a career change to become a teacher just so you'll have summer months off to hike. :eek:

[Frau]

Amen on the dehydrator on the kitchen counter AND

Teaching so you have the summers (and long breaks off to hike!!

[max patch]

...you realize that Wingfoot was right.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

...you realize that Wingfoot was right.That just proves you are real old-school and very liberal :D

[canoehead]

You become a weekend ridgerunner or trail crew volunteer. and you chosen work week is during BLACK FLY season.........

[envirodiver]

...when your scale stays of the kitchen counter all of the time.

Yeah sometimes I think about that, because people could draw the wrong conclusion when they come in and see a small scale sitting out.;)

[sheepdog]

Your "good pants" have zip off legs. :)

[sheepdog]

[quote=envirodiver;618088]When some one asks you how many tents and/or sleeping bags you have and you start counting and get embarassed.

quote]
If you know how many tents, sleeping bags, stoves.....you have. You don't have enough.

[envirodiver]

[quote=envirodiver;618088]When some one asks you how many tents and/or sleeping bags you have and you start counting and get embarassed.

quote]
If you know how many tents, sleeping bags, stoves.....you have. You don't have enough.

LOL...I have to take off my shoes...but it's one of the few things that I can remember.

[t-bor]

when it starts to rain and you grab the soap and step out side

[Philippe]

You know you're a hiker when a day-hiker offers to let your dog have the fat and gristle from their steak and you say "why thank you, eat it yourself.

[YeOldeBackpacker]

Ummm....... Where else would you put it?
Dehydrator stays on the kitchen counter all of the time.

[Tipi Walter]

You know you've been out too long when you write long paragraphs in your trip reports about giving birth to insistent and troublesome turtleheads(i.e.taking a dump).

[mudhead]

That's just being ancient. Well, maybe not the writting about it part.

[Doctari]

You own more wool socks than those made of all other fabrics combined.

I don't own ANY non wool socks. ALL of my socks can do double duty as hiking socks, even the dress socks (I have 2 pair). :rolleyes:

[Egads]

You know you've been out too long when you write long paragraphs in your trip reports about giving birth to insistent and troublesome turtleheads(i.e.taking a dump).

Moving along now:rolleyes:

[Squeamish]

You have a chart with the weight, boil time, lowest temp rating and effiency in two different scales of the various stoves. I made one.
Brand
Stove
---------
Weight
Boil Time (1 liter)
Burn Time
Efficiency (min/fuel in grams) (fuel/min)*
Snow Peak
Giga Power Auto Ignition
3 oz
3 min 15 sec
45 min
0.41 (2.4)*
Jetboil
PCS
15 oz
3 min 30 sec
197 min
0.89 (1.2)*
Snow Peak
Micro Max
3 oz
3 min 40 sec
22 min
0.2 (5)*
MSR
Pocket Rocket
3 oz
3 min 30 sec
60 min
0.27 (3.8)*
MSR
Super Fly
4.6 oz
3 min
90 min
0.4 (2.5)*
MSR
Reactor
20 oz
3 min
77 min
0.34 (2.9)*

[fiddlehead]

You see the pics and reports coming in from Myramar's tragedy and just wish those people knew about household bleach for purifying their water.
More rain coming today.

[kayak karl]

Guilty on several counts.

...when a "clean drop" makes your day.

...when you paint white blazes on trees around your house

...you consider Booker's bourbon to be UL cuz it takes less to get a buzz.
LMAO....I blue blazed a trail to the Liquor store out my bosses back yard :D

[doggiebag]

When you've been out for a while and run into a female hiker that's got you by 40 pounds, with facial hair (the thick kind)
and you really start thinking: Wow she's kinda ... cute.

[Sleepy the Arab]

Whether you sign a lease on a new apartment is based solely on if there is enough space to seam-seal a tent in the spare bedroom.

[mudhead]

When you've been out for a while and run into a female hiker that's got you by 40 pounds, with facial hair (the thick kind)
and you really start thinking: Wow she's kinda ... cute.

You'd like Maine.

[warraghiyagey]

. . . with that said . . . .
When there are no exceptions to the five second rule -
When trail ummm romance is waaaay hotter than at home freshly showered romance;)

[River Runner]

you forget that others don't:

Think wearing long johns under shorts is normal attire

Wear the same clothes for days on end and think nothing of it

Consider fabric content the most important factor in what clothing to buy

Consider it normal to pay more than $10 for a pair of socks. ;)

[boarstone]

You hike with empty packs (2 people) for 1 1/2 miles (each way) just so you can both packpack OUT with 20# of fiddleheads apiece...:D

[nitewalker]

when you skip the toilet in the house in favor of the cathole in the backyard....

[nitewalker]

...you realize that Wingfoot was right.

amen to that...the man knew what he was talking about....

[Two Speed]

if you post replies to threads like this at 5:30 on a Sunday morning.

[iamduesouth]

You know your a hiker when a peanut butter/jelly/mustard/ketchup/mayonnaise/pickel sandwich tastes really good.......!! ...with whipped cream on top.....??

[Patrickjd9]

...when you catch yourself plugging a nostril and leaning forward, while at the office.
Did it in the front yard while mowing the lawn just yesterday:D.

[Patrickjd9]

You've walked enough that your feet have expanded from size 9 1/2 to 11 from age 27 to 37...... :eek:

I wore a size 10 1/2 at age 22, and will be shopping for a pair of size 13 boots (at 48) once I get full feeling back in the second toe on my right foot:-?.

[Montego]

You know your a hiker when: you pop that little sliver of chocolate icing, that fell off your "Little Debbies" onto the ground, into your mouth and find that it's crunchy. Then just shrug your shoulders figuring that you need the minerals anyway.

[kanga]

i thought this thread was for jokes?....:eek:

[kanga]

When you go to the grocery store and try to figure out how everything you see would cook on the trail , and go by the section that has all the meat, fish, chciken in pouches to see if they have anything new.

let's try that again with a quote this time...

i thought this thread was for jokes?....:eek:

[Hooch]

When you heat up your lunch at work on your new alcohol stove instead of the microwave in the break room just to see how well it works. (Anyone else besides me ever do this?)


When shopping for a new car, you can't help estimate how many hikers + gear you can fit inside* in case, you know, you happen to pass by a trail crossing. I did that when I traded my old car in for a Toyota Matrix last year. :eek::D

[No Belay]

When you wear hiking boots to your wedding, your fiance bitches because you didn't wear a tie with your under armor T-shirt, and you're going commando just because you can.

[wilderness bob]

When you cut, split and stack next winters fire wood before the hiking season begins. Why? Because you know you will be in no shape to do so at the end of the trail.