View Full Version : When your hiking partner says .... what they really mean is ...
When your hiking partner says "The next 3 miles are down hill", what they really mean is "The next 4 miles has 3 steep 500 foot climbs".
Side note: My perception of up and down has changed drastically since I started hiking. I have now come to the realization that the whole AT is downhill in both directions.
envirodiver
05-29-2008, 11:38
When your hiking partner says "The next 3 miles are down hill", what they really mean is "The next 4 miles has 3 steep 500 foot climbs".
Side note: My perception of up and down has changed drastically since I started hiking. I have now come to the realization that the whole AT is downhill in both directions.
Yeah when somebody tells you, "this route if fairly flat". Look out, cause it will not be flat. Or just a few small uphills, then bring a donkey to carry your stuff.
bigcranky
05-29-2008, 11:42
Actually, the AT averages out to about a 2000 foot climb over 2000+ miles, so it's effectively flat as a pancake. Shouldn't be hard at all....
envirodiver
05-29-2008, 11:47
Actually, the AT averages out to about a 2000 foot climb over 2000+ miles, so it's effectively flat as a pancake. Shouldn't be hard at all....
I think I've hiked with you, weren't involved in organizing one of my trips? :-?:D
gold bond
05-29-2008, 11:56
When your hiking partner says, "it's just around the next corner", or "Just another 15 minutes" they really mean...I got no freakin idea!
Mrs Baggins
05-29-2008, 11:59
Don't you know hikers lie? Especially those on their 2nd (or 3rd or whatever) thru-hike. Lies they tell with regularity:
1. It's all downhill from here
2. The next hill is really pretty easy
3. Really, I hike slower than you do
4. Knocked out those 30 miles in 4 hours. Think I'll bang out 50 tomorrow before noon.
angewrite
05-29-2008, 12:09
They say:
1. This is the worst uphill on the trail, the rest will be cake after this
2. We don't have to stay at the shelter tonight, if you want we can stay at the campground just ahead
3. No you're not slowing me down, I would stop just as often if I was hiking alone
What they mean:
1. God this sucks, it can't possibly get any worse
2. I'm tired and I don't want to sound like a wimp for changing our plan, can we stop sooner
3. I'd rather hike alone
4eyedbuzzard
05-29-2008, 12:25
They say(especially in NH): "It's a moderate hike."
They mean: "It gains 3000 feet over three miles of trail."
The reality: You're hiking up a pile of rocks and roots steeper than a GD double diamond run. An out of shape packsniffer like me probably needs to hit the medical supply store for bottled oxygen.
gold bond
05-29-2008, 12:30
They say, "only about a half mile". They mean, "Don't really know how far but the last guy jerked me around too"
Frolicking Dinosaurs
05-29-2008, 12:31
When your partner says: "The footing is so-so. I've seen worse."
He really means "There are boulders and roots the size of VWs and loose rock everywhere. That worse footing I saw was a sheer cliff covered with ice."
Tipi Walter
05-29-2008, 12:34
What hiking partners? Solo backpacking is the only way to go.
Cabin Fever
05-29-2008, 14:27
When they say:
1. It's over the next hill.
2. You're almost there.
3. The climb is decent.
4. We got a little wet.
They mean:
1. You have one massif between here and there.
2. You might make it before night fall.
3. If I was you, I would turn around.
4. My gear got soaked and I narrowly avoided hypothermia.
Don't you know hikers lie? Especially those on their 2nd (or 3rd or whatever) thru-hike.I was leap frogging in NC this year with Zero Zero, the blind guy. I had hiked it before and told him that the climb out of the NOC wasn't too bad, just long with lots of teaser tops. I saw him at trail days and he said that I was a SOB for that report.
What hiking partners? Solo backpacking is the only way to go.
I wouldn't say it's the "only way to go." I've enjoyed many a hike with other folks - some of them WB members. But I really like being totally unencumbered out on the trail.
There is something about the solo experience that is magical. Especially when you encounter something amazing on the trail - like a bear or a beautiful sight - and have it all to yourself. The only comparison I can think of is catching a 40", 28 pound Striped bass on the end of a jetty in Rhode Island in the inky blackness - with waves crashing all around - at 2 AM - all by my lonesome. The adrenaline rush made me feel like I was gonna explode.
ofthearth
05-29-2008, 16:03
Said: Oh, I'm fine and everything is okay. You don't need to come home.
Means: ............. (I'll leave it to your imagination.)
the goat
05-29-2008, 16:30
when your hiking partners says: "i never snore".
they mean: "i'm gonna keep your ass up all night!"
Sleepy the Arab
05-29-2008, 16:46
Don't you know hikers lie? Especially those on their 2nd (or 3rd or whatever) thru-hike. Lies they tell with regularity:
1. It's all downhill from here
2. The next hill is really pretty easy
3. Really, I hike slower than you do
4. Knocked out those 30 miles in 4 hours. Think I'll bang out 50 tomorrow before noon.
"Virginia is flat."
I can hardly suppress the insane giggling when I say this one.
Alligator
05-29-2008, 16:49
Statement: It's a little longer than usual, we'll just have to leave a little earlier.
Translation: Make sure your batteries are good 'cause we're headlamping it. Check.
Statement: There's a climb before reaching the shelter.
Translation: Clif bar and chocolate at 4:00. Check.
Statement: I took one last look at the weather report and Sunday looks sunny.
Translation: Pack the rain gear on top, Friday and Saturday are going to be soggy. Check.
Statement: It might be a little windy.
Translation: Wind gusts up to 50 mph. Check.
envirodiver
05-29-2008, 17:05
After dinner when your partner says "wow those barking spiders are really out tonight".
They mean either cowboy camp or open all of the tents venting.
They say(especially in NH): "It's a moderate hike."
They mean: "It gains 3000 feet over three miles of trail."
The reality: You're hiking up a pile of rocks and roots steeper than a GD double diamond run. An out of shape packsniffer like me probably needs to hit the medical supply store for bottled oxygen.
This one is related to: "It will get the snot flowing."
Hold up a minute so i can take some pictures = if you don't let me stand still for a minute I'm going to fall over
After this little climb it's all downhill = stop whining
I have a blister starting = get ready because I'm about to start whining
The mice aren't too bad = they will leave you enough crumbs for breakfast
This weekend, I hiked an area in WNC with a student who is helping me with a project. She asked if her boyfriend could come alone. She assured me he was "experienced."
When the heavens opened up on us and dumped about 3" of rain, 1.5 miles up a trail that gained 2000 feet of elevation in 2.7 miles, I learned that his idea of a rain jacket was a cotton hooded sweatshirt. Thank goodness I carried an extra fleece.
In other words "experienced" can mean, "I've always wanted to try that."
John Klein
05-29-2008, 17:38
They say, "What are you thinking about?"
They mean, "I am a black hole of emotional need!"
boarstone
05-29-2008, 18:53
This weekend, I hiked an area in WNC with a student who is helping me with a project. She asked if her boyfriend could come alone. She assured me he was "experienced."
When the heavens opened up on us and dumped about 3" of rain, 1.5 miles up a trail that gained 2000 feet of elevation in 2.7 miles, I learned that his idea of a rain jacket was a cotton hooded sweatshirt. Thank goodness I carried an extra fleece.
In other words "experienced" can mean, "I've always wanted to try that."
LMAO! That's too funny!....Right up there w/the guy I once said to: I'm going hiking tomorrow...he said, "I'd like to come along" So he did, a few minutes hike into Moxie falls in Maine, there had been a slight snow covering on the ground the night before, he showed up in cowboy boots and leather jacket and gloves! Needless to say, he darn near broke his neck:)
Rain Man
05-29-2008, 18:59
... She asked if her boyfriend could come alone. She assured me he was "experienced."
When the heavens opened up on us and dumped about 3" of rain, 1.5 miles up a trail that gained 2000 feet of elevation in 2.7 miles, I learned that his idea of a rain jacket was a cotton hooded sweatshirt....
I see you're too polite to say she lied through her teeth straight to your face!
:D
Another saying "It's about 15 minutes to the next shelter (water, road, whatever)."
Get ready to hike at least 45 minutes uphill in the hot sun/cold sleet before reaching anything at all.
:D
Rain:sunMan
.
taildragger
05-29-2008, 19:03
The trail meets up with the CDT there, and we'll camp at Reese mtn.
Translation: I haven't known where we've been for the last 2 days, but that mountain looks good, right?
Met someone last week on the trail and asked how far ahead the trailhead was and he replied: "You're almost there, I started there this am. and I've been walking three hours" Your perspectives change when "you're almost there" involves a three hour walk....Bumpa
Monkeywrench
06-05-2008, 11:26
[quote=Sleepy the Arab;632795]"Virginia is flat." quote]
Hey, I remember Virginia. She was flat in 5th grade, but then magically, on the first day of school in 6th grade, she had filled out!
Time To Fly 97
06-05-2008, 11:58
It is 6am in the shelter, the rain is pouring down and everyone is awake. There is a shelter in 7 miles and the one in 15 miles is one of the small ones which isn't even close to being big enough for everyone.
Everyone wants that extra hour of sleep, but the very second one person moves to pack up...everyone will pack up. You can almost hear the whistling sound before a cowboy shootout.
The intense silence is broken as JC speaks up in his Boston drawl...
"Hey, lot of rain out theah...weah you guys hikin to today?"
And in two seconds everyone was on the move.
Happy hiking!
TTF
envirodiver
06-05-2008, 12:06
When your hiking partner says "It won't be long until dinner is ready"
What he means is "D*** stove won't light".
Unfortunately I was the stove guy on a hike one time. Was sharing stoves and fixing dinner for my partner and myself. By the time I had dinner ready I had almost lost a lifelong friend.
AlwaysHiking
06-05-2008, 13:03
When your hiking partner says "It won't be long until dinner is ready"
What he means is "D*** stove won't light".
I always thought that meant, "If you'd get off your ass and help, we could eat a whole lot sooner."
envirodiver
06-05-2008, 13:56
I always thought that meant, "If you'd get off your ass and help, we could eat a whole lot sooner."
Yup, could have that double meaning as well.
Wise Old Owl
06-05-2008, 15:17
Now a moment, of famous last words here on White Blaze...
"Do you have to bring your dog into the shelter?" :D
Topper....
"I am going back to the car!":eek:
Wise Old Owl
06-05-2008, 15:40
This weekend, I hiked an area in WNC with a student who is helping me with a project. She asked if her boyfriend could come alone. She assured me he was "experienced."
When the heavens opened up on us and dumped about 3" of rain, 1.5 miles up a trail that gained 2000 feet of elevation in 2.7 miles, I learned that his idea of a rain jacket was a cotton hooded sweatshirt. Thank goodness I carried an extra fleece.
In other words "experienced" can mean, "I've always wanted to try that."
Yea I ran face first into that...Two very experienced hiking clubs got together on April 1st last year in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, The Leader called it the April Fool's Hike. In short if you think you have run into everything and you Know-it-all this was to be a big surprise.
Newbies were asked to bow out even if they did find the trail head after 15 miles of off roading.
No maps-just follow the "lost" Gee I am making this up leader. I was ten minutes to 15 minutes late - A very big NO-NO with Clubs. Although I found the parked cars in the sand & there were tracks everywhere, I correctly tracked them and caught up to them in the second mile when they got stuck in the briar patch. These were not maintained trails, but old dirt mounds around the old cranberry patches of the current swamp.
Several times we climbed over beaver homes, and walked across beaver dams. In several places the trail died, we walked waist high into the water, to cross a stream & then it rained. Well most of them were good up to the stream crossing, the cold rain got some of them. I had a spare poncho for one women, but after the next set of briars I knew I didn't need it back. 15 glorious miles and only a few people caved and went back to the car. I had a great time, but it really showed who the green horns were.
Montana Mac
06-05-2008, 17:30
"Virginia is flat."
I can hardly suppress the insane giggling when I say this one.
So it was Y-O-Uthat told me that - and exactly where do you live????:-?
Sleepy the Arab
06-05-2008, 19:46
So it was Y-O-Uthat told me that - and exactly where do you live????:-?
I've said meaner...
Like at Upper Goose Pond Cabin: "There's a Coke machine out back."
It was just to a southbounder, but still, if you want to beat me up, you'll have to get in line.
hopefulhiker
06-05-2008, 19:54
"Are you going to eat that?"
They really mean "Watch your food every minute"
Montana Mac
06-06-2008, 08:54
I've said meaner...
Like at Upper Goose Pond Cabin: "There's a Coke machine out back."
My brother and I were hiking Mount Elbert (CO) and we met a group of Boy Scouts heading up on our way back down. Without cracking a smile I explained to them that we had taken the tram on the other side of the mountain up, eaten at the McDonalds at the summit and were now just heading down after finishing out milkshakes - talk about mean!
earlyriser26
06-06-2008, 10:15
When they say "only a 30% chance of rain"
They mean "it will be raining for only 7.2 hours today"
Time To Fly 97
06-06-2008, 10:22
"Are you going to eat that?"
They really mean "Watch your food every minute"
I like this one. Must be a little unnerving for the casual day hiker to have their food watched by a half starved thru-hiker. lol
Happy hiking!
TTF
Wise Old Owl
06-17-2008, 23:29
"I left Port Clinton two days ago, Do you have a sandwich to spare?" as I look back at PC throught the trees......
I kid you not-she said it just after climbing the hill.
Wise Old Owl
06-17-2008, 23:34
My brother and I were hiking Mount Elbert (CO) and we met a group of Boy Scouts heading up on our way back down. Without cracking a smile I explained to them that we had taken the tram on the other side of the mountain up, eaten at the McDonalds at the summit and were now just heading down after finishing out milkshakes - talk about mean!
Hmmm - not that mean, kind of worthy of a Mentor Award.
When she says:
1. I'm hoofing it Daddy.
2. I'm getting hungry.
3. I miss Mummy.
What she really means is:
1. I'm hoofing it Daddy.
2. I'm getting hungry.
3. I miss Mummy.
4eyedbuzzard
06-18-2008, 08:38
When she says:
1. I'm hoofing it Daddy.
2. I'm getting hungry.
3. I miss Mummy.
What she really means is:
1. I'm hoofing it Daddy.
2. I'm getting hungry.
3. I miss Mummy.
No wonder they're so easily misunderstood.;)
When they say, "don't mind my dog. He don't bite."
They mean, "My dog will sniff your crotch but good, jump on you with his muddy paws, rub his hair on you, slobber all over you, then piss on your pack to show his affection. I don't mind my dog doing all that, because he don't bite." :)
sirbingo
06-18-2008, 09:58
When your hiking partner says
"I want you to take the Clip 2 tent"
.... what they really mean is ...
"I want to knock boots!"