Moderator Jokes

[sheepdog]

We all know that being a moderator is a tough job. So lets make fun of them. :D
Two moderators (husband and wife) are sitting in front of their computers.
The wife says "I could use a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate and nuts on it."
The husband says, "Well we don't have any."
The wife says, "I want some vanilla ice cream with chocolate and nuts on it."
The husband says, "I said we don't have any."
The wife says "Well go get some, and write it down, vanilla ice cream with chocolate and nuts."
The husband says, "I don't need to write it down, vanilla ice cream with chocolate and nuts." and stomps out.
A half hour later he comes back and hands her a ham sandwich.
She opens the sandwich and says, "I told you to write it down!! I wanted mustard on mine."

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

Moderator on witness stand: " I didn't mean to shoot him. I thought the trigger was the Delete key." :D

[atraildreamer]

Three moderators are at the doctor for memory tests. The doctor says to the first moerator , “What is three times three?”
“274,” was his reply.
The doctor says to the second moerator, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?”
“Tuesday,” replies the second moerator.
The doctor says to the third moerator, “Okay, your turn. What’s three times three?”
“Nine,” says the third moerator.
“That’s great!” says the doctor. “How did you get that?”
“Simple,” says the third moerator. “I subtracted 274 from Tuesday.”
-------


Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
I started out with nothing, and I'm still reducing my packweight.


My gorp have turned into prunes and all bran.


I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.


Funny, I don't remember being absent minded....


All posts are in; Life is now officially unfair.


If all is not lost, you must be following the whiteblazes!


It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.


Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.


I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.


Kids in the back seat cause accidents.


Accidents in the back seat cause...kids.---------
I'm Not Old, Only Mature Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent;
From my purchase this chap took off 10 percent.
I asked for the cause of this lesser amount
And he answered, "Because of the seniors' discount."

I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries
And there, once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee, which he handed to me.
He said, "For you seniors, the coffee is free."

Understand I'm not old, I'm merely mature.
But some things are changing (temporarily, I'm sure.)
The newspaper print gets smaller each day
And people speak softer - can't hear what they say.

My teeth are my own (I have the receipt),
And my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit...not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old - I'm only mature.

The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white
But don't call it gray - saying "blond" is just right.

My friends all get older much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled from what I can see.
I've got "character lines", not wrinkles for sure,
But don't call me old - just call me mature.

The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take your breath all away.
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago;
That should explain why my walking's so slow.

But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new
And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo.
I'm still in the running, in this I'm secure.
I'm not really old - I'm only mature.

[Wise Old Owl]

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg275/MarkSwarbrick/funny-emailing-comedy.jpg

[Wise Old Owl]

Why do my posts always end the thread ..........Inquiring woo minds want to know.