View Full Version : Funny statements / questions.
Was staying near a VA shelter with a "City person" (secton hiker), we did the usual camp chores then she went to bed. I fiddled around with the fire for a while, listning to the sounds of the woods & nearby "civilization".
Next AM, I was up early, had camp down & was enjoying breakfast when she got up,, Me: So, how did you sleep? She: ok i guess (tiny voice). Me: Oh, what was/is wrong? She: Well, a BEAR must have come through camp. Me (after looking at the food bags still hanging in the shelter, 3' from the ground) Nope, the food bags are still there, if a bear had come by the food would have been GONE! She: Well, I heard this really WEIRD noise a few times last night!!!!
Just then,
from about 2 miles away,
we hear
MOOOO!
She said: :eek: THERE, THAT WAS THE SOUND!! :eek:
No, I didn't laugh, barely. But my head nearly exploded.
I calmly (well, as calm as I could) explained that was very likely a dairy cow waiting to be milked.
As I was passing thru the field the school bus is in, I took a picture of a Angus "bear" :D
So, what are your Funny Questions / Statements etc from: new hikers, non hikers, family & etc?
NCYankee
10-31-2008, 12:23
Well this happened on the trail but it isn't exactly a hiking story... none the less, it fueled us for the remaining part of the day.
My wife and I are backpacking through Panthertown Valley in NC with another couple and after we summit Little Green Mountain we are taking in the view and relaxing. My wife comes over to me and states that one day she would like to bring our children here. I tell her that I agree... My wife then adds the comment that she says all the time, "If I can have kids".
The female portion of the other couple, who we can call Laura, asks: "Why do you say that"
My wife explains that her mother couldn't have kids (she was adopted) and her mother couldn't have kids (also adopted) so she is convinced that she won't be able to either.
Laura, in what I am sure is an effort to chear up my already very peppy wife, replies with, "Well your real mom could have kids"
I turn to Laura, and most likely with more volume than was appropriate reply with, "Laura, everyone's real mom could have kids, otherwise there wouldn't be any people in the world"
She had a little bit of a shocked look on her face before the reality sunk in.
Our spirits were high and we hiked down the mountain :)
Lone Wolf
10-31-2008, 12:33
Was staying near a VA shelter with a "City person" (secton hiker), we did the usual camp chores then she went to bed. I fiddled around with the fire for a while, listning to the sounds of the woods & nearby "civilization".
Next AM, I was up early, had camp down & was enjoying breakfast when she got up,, Me: So, how did you sleep? She: ok i guess (tiny voice). Me: Oh, what was/is wrong? She: Well, a BEAR must have come through camp. Me (after looking at the food bags still hanging in the shelter, 3' from the ground) Nope, the food bags are still there, if a bear had come by the food would have been GONE! She: Well, I heard this really WEIRD noise a few times last night!!!!
Just then,
from about 2 miles away,
we hear
MOOOO!
She said: :eek: THERE, THAT WAS THE SOUND!! :eek:
No, I didn't laugh, barely. But my head nearly exploded.
I calmly (well, as calm as I could) explained that was very likely a dairy cow waiting to be milked.
As I was passing thru the field the school bus is in, I took a picture of a Angus "bear" :D
So, what are your Funny Questions / Statements etc from: new hikers, non hikers, family & etc?
i've heard shelter dwelling thru-hikers say the same stuff. just cuz one hikes hundreds of miles doesn't make them comfortable in the woods
bigcranky
10-31-2008, 12:44
Hiking over Big Hump in NC, the open bald summit was covered in large piles of cow poop. Many, many large fresh piles. We kept going about a half mile, and stopped on a big rock for lunch.
About 15 minutes later, a couple of hikers stop, all out of breath, to ask if we saw any of the bears. "What bears?" we ask. "The herd of bears back at the summit. There were huge pile of bear scat in the trail!"
Must have been some very large bears back there. We did explain that the reason the bald is, well, bald, is the herd of longhorn cows that graze on it.
We host an annual convention of insurance folks near my home, with people coming from around the country and around the world. My wife and I overheard some ladies talking about staying at Taft Lodge (near the summit of Mt. Mansfield on the Long Trail). They were wondering what to wear, what kind of meals would be served, what the accomodations would be like,etc. They were all decked out in high heels, and the works.
We thought about staying mum, but eventually we told them that the "lodge" was just a roof and wooden bunks - no meals, no bedding, and no plumbing. I'm not entirely sure they believed us!
"Whats that smell." :eek:
Jack Tarlin
10-31-2008, 15:57
I saw a weekender spend around five minutes looking at the "baseboards" of a shelter (or that's what she'd have been looking at if there WERE baseboards in the shelter).
Turned out she was searching for an electrical outlet.
Six miles from the nearest road. :rolleyes:
Aren't Southbounders great?
More than once, unnamed individuals :rolleyes: have "installed" electric outlets in shelters.
The resulting logbook comments are great reading.
My first time sleeping under the stars had me slightly on edge...
It was light sleep as I was new to outdoors and really new to sleeping w/o a tent.
I woke up at some early-in-the-morning hour (2am?) when I see these eyes looking at me perhaps 3 ft away.
I let out a loud yell!
Then the bunny rabbit hopped away.
Big bad, many outdoors dude..what can I say. ;)
Good you scared it away. It might have been a killer rabbit.
saimyoji
10-31-2008, 17:36
"How far does this trail go?"
Bare Bear
11-26-2008, 15:36
In Maine at Abol Bridge store by the picnic table: a thru hiker stumbles in having done the Wilderness in 3 1/2 days and flat collapses as we give him a beer. A tourist sitting there asks him if he is a thru hiker?
The guy looks up, and says, "Well I sure as hell am thru for today."
Bare Bear
11-26-2008, 15:41
Does the Trail go both ways?
Does the Trail go both ways?
That just has tooooo many layups available.
Spirit Walker
11-26-2008, 18:03
When we were on the CDT we ran into a couple of guys on motorbikes who asked us, "Where does this trail go?" I answered, "If you go this way you'll get to Mexico, but if you head the other direction you'll reach Canada." They gave me a dirty look, thinking I was pulling their legs. I was telling the absolute truth, though they didn't believe me.
On the AT a few miles south of DWG I ran into a couple of dayhikers. They asked, "How far is it to Sunfish Pond?" I had to break it to them that they were in the wrong state, heading the wrong direction. They were not happy hikers that day.
_terrapin_
11-26-2008, 19:15
When we were on the CDT we ran into a couple of guys on motorbikes who asked us, "Where does this trail go?" I answered, "If you go this way you'll get to Mexico, but if you head the other direction you'll reach Canada." They gave me a dirty look, thinking I was pulling their legs. I was telling the absolute truth, though they didn't believe me.
One day on Franconia Ridge, some 30-odd years ago, one of my fellow hikers made a similar remark.. Walk this way, end up in Maine. Walk the other way, end up in Georgia. A few neurons took notice. Some 15 years later I started that walk, and 17 years after that, I finished it. I took a twisted path and added some turns of my own.
i've heard shelter dwelling thru-hikers say the same stuff. just cuz one hikes hundreds of miles doesn't make them comfortable in the woods
Certainly true. Lone Wolf. But I've also heard the same from dedicated tent hikers, who are scared to death of spending a night with those "ugh" shelter dwellers. Come on. Let's face it. Who would want sleep with strangers. As a sparkling young lady said a few years ago at an Acadia National Park hearing "it certainly sounds wild, but not like wilderness to me."
She was commenting on a park propsoal that shelters on Isle au Haut be open on a first come, first served basis to hikers until they were filled up. A few at the hearing tried to use the AT experience. But like Lone Wolf, people were locked in their beliefs. Nothing could change them.
Weary
At a parking lot in the Grayson Highlands, I encountered a hefty family, nodded cordially. "Hike far?" asked the man. "From Georgia", I said. "Today?!?!?"
No lie.
When we were on the CDT we ran into a couple of guys on motorbikes who asked us, "Where does this trail go?" I answered, "If you go this way you'll get to Mexico, but if you head the other direction you'll reach Canada." They gave me a dirty look, thinking I was pulling their legs. I was telling the absolute truth, though they didn't believe me.
On the AT a few miles south of DWG I ran into a couple of dayhikers. They asked, "How far is it to Sunfish Pond?" I had to break it to them that they were in the wrong state, heading the wrong direction. They were not happy hikers that day.
I've told this story before. But I can't resist. Somewhere as I approached New York, I came to the summit of a hill. Suddenly, I heard the roar of motors. 16 teenagers appeared, all ensconced on ATVs and motor bikes.
I panicked briefly. Then one approached me and demanded. "Where did you come from?"
"Georgia," I replied.
"How did you get here," was the response.
"I followed these white blazes," I replied.
Someone must have painted them," I heard, as they sped off into the distance.
Weary
This yr. on the PCT in Yosemite NP we met two weekend warrior types. They asked us what we were doing. I straight faced told them the 5 greasy haired ragtag emaciated band of dirty PCT thru-hikers I was with were Dr. Campo, Dr. San Bernardino, Dr. Kennedy, Dr. Adams, Dr. Tehachapi, and myself, Dr. Manning were from the Smithsonian studying the rare and elusive Yosemite jumping snow spider. They were amazed that 6 doctors were so dedicated to preserving this endangered species. The female weekend warrior type said she thought she saw one and gave us a very specific account of where she thought she saw it. We all thanked her for possibly saving the species. If I had asked if she wanted to make a contribution to save this endangered species she would have.
Wait, it gets better. Several days later, while the same bunch of thru-hikers/doctors R sitting outside at a picnic table rifling through our resupply boxes at one of Yosemite's PO's, four day hikers stroll by and one says, "I wonder if we'll see one of those rare Yosemite snow spiders"? One of the doctors pissed his pants laughing.
gsingjane
11-27-2008, 07:38
Once my kids and I were at the top of Bear Mtn. in CT, and there was a very tired, confused looking young woman walking around, poking here and there, looking for something or someone. We hung out for a while, eating lunch, and finally she approached me. Turns out she was supposed to meet a group of friends and couldn't figure out where they were and was starting to panic.
Sadly enough, it turned out that the friends were at Bear Mtn. in NY! And, also sadly, I had to tell her that no, it wouldn't be possible to just stroll down and meet them.
I could never figure out how this happened, but I think there were mind-altering substances involved somehow. I hope she's not still out there!
Jane in CT
Two Speed
11-27-2008, 08:24
"How far does this trail go?"The correct answer is "all the way."
More than once, unnamed individuals :rolleyes: have "installed" electric outlets in shelters.
The resulting logbook comments are great reading.I like! Coming soon to a shelter near you!
Along the same lines I was heading out of Jerry Cabin one morning and found a woman that had screwed her knee up pretty bad the previous afternoon. Had spent the night out in the rain, no rain coat, poncho, hadn't eaten anything, soaked to the bone, etc. Judging by her behavior and the blue tint in her lips she was pretty hypothermic by the time I found her. Her knee was bad enough that she wasn't going to walk out on it, and with her gross tonnage I wasn't about to try to carry her out.
Rumbled around in her pack and mine, made her eat some of her trail mix, set her up on my sleeping pads with the rain fly from my tent to keep the rain off and her umbrella over her head (NO, the dim wit hadn't thought to take that out of her pack) and told her I was going to head down to Devil's Fork to get help.
Got the impression that she thought I was dumb as a brick because I refused to go back to Jerry Cabin to use the phone there. :cool:
Clarification: I stayed AT the shelter not IN the shelter. :cool:
We both camped (seperatly) nearby. Picnic table, fire pit, water & a PRIVY, you know: Luxuries! :D
Another one:
I got to Atkins this year after 20 days on the trail, My wife was to meet me there later that day.
When I got to the motel room, my thoughts were: “Cool: running water, a shower, flush toilet & there is FOOD nearby! What a great place!”
3 hrs later, my wife showed up, her first words after saying hi to me were “EWWWW!!!! :eek: WERE NOT STAYING HERE ARE WE?!?! THIS IS NASTY!!!”
I just could not see the problem. :confused:
As I had already paid for the night, we stayed. That was mid June, she has almost forgiven me. I still don't understand the problem. To me: Shower + toilet + food = a great place.
On one of the section hikes I did in Vt. I came across Spruce Peak shelter which had a phone installed on one of the walls. I walked outside, didn't see any phone line, and realized that it was, indeed, a joke.
I wonder how many people have tried to use that phone over the years..........:)