View Full Version : Offer - One Million Spacebucks
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 21:35
To each poster that can breathe a hint of humor back into the WB.
The desired reaction listed below:
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
taildragger
12-01-2008, 21:38
I'm sorry, but breathing emits CO2, which is killing the cows. Laughing emits more CO2, which not only kills normal cows, it kills the sea cows as well.
You might ask yourself, how does global warming effect the lives of cows? Well, I'll tell you. Its the damn hippies that think cows cause global warming. Now, when the hippies laugh and breath, poor innocent tasty cows get the blame and are killed.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Stop laughing right now, and eat more chikn
kayak karl
12-01-2008, 21:40
To each poster that can breathe a hint of humor back into the WB.
The desired reaction listed below:
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
to all you WB Experts...................................
A man traveling on business, walks into a local bar, sits down and asks the bartender for a shot of 25 year old scotch.
The bartender looking to have a little fun, and make a few extra dollars, pours the guy a shot of bar brand scotch.
The businessman taking his first sip, realizes this is not what he ordered, calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, do you remember what I ordered".
"Why certainly sir", says the bartender, "You wanted a shot of 25 year old scotch".
"That is correct", replies the customer. "The scotch you served, can't be more than 2 years old".
The bartender apologies, and goes off to correct his mistake. A little upset for being caught, the bartender again tries to fool his customer, by pouring him a shot of 12 year old scotch.
After his first taste of the scotch, he immediately again knew, this was not the beverage of his choice.
So once again, he calls over the bartender, to verify his drink order. "Bartender, can you tell me again what I ordered".
"Yes sir, you ordered a shot of my 25 year old scotch".
"Again that is correct". But unfortunately, the scotch you served is not more than 12 years old".
At this point he bartender is impressed, and realizes the guy is a true expert of scotch whiskey, and goes off to get his 25 year old scotch.
With savoring only a few drops, the man knew he finally got what he ordered, and comments to the bartender, "Now this is, 25 year old scotch".
The local drunk who witnessed everything, turns to the businessman and says, "Hey buddy, try this drink.
The traveler not wanting any trouble, takes the glass from the drunk, and gives a taste. Immediately, the guy spits it out, and screams, "My god, this is urine".
"Thats right", says the drunk, "But How Old am I?"
How dare you post something funny in the "HUMOR" section. There's nothing funny here, ever...
BTW Kayak Karl, that is TRULY funny!
Ummm, now about those Spacebucks....:-?
I dont need your spacebucks, I have the Schwartz.
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 21:56
How dare you post something funny in the "HUMOR" section. There's nothing funny here, ever...
BTW Kayak Karl, that is TRULY funny!
Ummm, now about those Spacebucks....:-?
Sent to the planet, solar system or galaxy of your choice. Offer not valid on Uranus.
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 21:57
I dont need your spacebucks, I have the Schwartz.
May the Schwartz be with you. . .
taildragger
12-01-2008, 22:00
Sent to the planet, solar system or galaxy of your choice. Offer not valid on Uranus.
You mean Massholia?
Remember, when traveling around uranus, watch out for klingons
http://www.turboninjas.com/gallery/d/22413-1/warfgif.gif
Some might not think its funny, but I did, up in northern Indiana we had 5 deer that committed suicide by jumping off a bridge onto the interstate.
bigmac_in
12-01-2008, 22:25
EXCUSE ME, but isn't this supposed to be HIKING humor? To save this thread from deletion, I have altered the previous joke -
A dirty, smelly hiker, walks into a local bar, sits down and asks the bartender for a shot of 25 year old scotch.
The bartender looking to have a little fun, and make a few extra dollars off the stupid hiker, pours the guy a shot of bar brand scotch.
The hiker, taking his first sip, realizes this is not what he ordered, calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, do you remember what I ordered".
"Why certainly", says the bartender, "You wanted a shot of 25 year old scotch".
"That is correct", replies the customer. "The scotch you served, can't be more than 2 years old".
The bartender apologies, and goes off to correct his mistake. A little upset for being caught, the bartender again tries to fool his customer, by pouring him a shot of 12 year old scotch.
After his first taste of the scotch, he immediately again knew, this was not the beverage of his choice.
So once again, he calls over the bartender, to verify his drink order. "Bartender, can you tell me again what I ordered".
"Yes, you ordered a shot of my 25 year old scotch".
"Again that is correct". But unfortunately, the scotch you served is not more than 12 years old".
At this point he bartender is impressed, and realizes the guy is a true expert of scotch whiskey, and goes off to get his 25 year old scotch.
With savoring only a few drops, the man knew he finally got what he ordered, and comments to the bartender, "Now this is, 25 year old scotch".
Warraghiyahey, who witnessed everything, turns to the hiker and says, "Hey buddy, try this drink.
The traveler not wanting any trouble, takes the glass from the Warraghy, and gives a taste. Immediately, the guy spits it out, and screams, "My god, this is urine".
"Thats right", says Warraghy, "But How Old am I?"
bigmac_in
12-01-2008, 22:26
Some might not think its funny, but I did, up in northern Indiana we had 5 deer that committed suicide by jumping off a bridge onto the interstate.
We've got really smart deer in Indiana. Hunters go out every year and can't shoot one, but I killed one with truck. Really, how hard can it be?
Dances with Mice
12-01-2008, 22:29
To each poster that can breathe a hint of humor back into the WB.What WB needs is an expert to answer questions about life's problems such as personal relationships, etiquette, finances, work, and so for situations both on the trail and off. Sort of a W-B Dear Abby. The best person for the job, I'm sure we all agree, is Mattie but he isn't here often enough anymore. Wolf is too succinct, we need more expansive answers. Jan Liteshoe isn't around much lately either. Are there any other nominees?
I myself have a particularly vexing situation that I need help with and I need someone in whom I have confidence to counsel me to make the best choice.
Dances with Mice
12-01-2008, 22:32
And upon further consideration, I think "Ask Skids" would be the perfect title for the thread. I believe he has the wisdom and proper gravitas to handle the role. With aplomb. And a bunch of other words I should look up to make sure they're spelled and applied correctly.
taildragger
12-01-2008, 22:32
We've got really smart deer in Indiana. Hunters go out every year and can't shoot one, but I killed one with truck. Really, how hard can it be?
Thats why I sit in or near my truck :sun
Bulldawg
12-01-2008, 22:33
What WB needs is an expert to answer questions about life's problems such as personal relationships, etiquette, finances, work, and so for situations both on the trail and off. Sort of a W-B Dear Abby. The best person for the job, I'm sure we all agree, is Mattie but he isn't here often enough anymore. Wolf is too succinct, we need more expansive answers. Jan Liteshoe isn't around much lately either. Are there any other nominees?
I myself have a particularly vexing situation that I need help with and I need someone in whom I have confidence to counsel me to make the best choice.
Terp, Weary, or 4eyedbuzzard??
Shadowmoss
12-01-2008, 22:34
At work I have the reputation of being more than willing to give my advice and opinion on any and all issues whether they involve me or not. Actually, I'm more inclined to but in... err... offer helpful advice the less I'm personally involved. I'm sure I'm not the only one here, so give us the juicy gossip, errr, I mean pour your heart out to us, sweetie, and I'm sure us experts here will help you put your life to rights real quick.
Shadowmoss
12-01-2008, 22:35
See what I mean, 4 replies while I was typing out mine.
A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor says to him, "You're going to have to stop masturbating.". "Why?", the guy asks him. The doctor says, "Because I'm trying to examine you.". :eek::D:banana
Dances with Mice
12-01-2008, 22:43
At work I have the reputation of being more than willing to give my advice and opinion on any and all issues whether they involve me or not. I'll overlook the Sweetie comment for now, Mossie, but you didn't start off on the right foot. You need to show respect to your clients. But let's give you an audition.
Rules are Moss alone may answer the question. Anyone else offering advice should address their opinion to Moss, not to the questioner. Moss may, and probably should, ignore any such unsolicited opinions.
Ready?
Skidsteer
12-01-2008, 22:52
And upon further consideration, I think "Ask Skids" would be the perfect title for the thread. I believe he has the wisdom and proper gravitas to handle the role. With aplomb. And a bunch of other words I should look up to make sure they're spelled and applied correctly.
Oh hell no.
I can't even tell the difference between twenty-five year old Scotch and urine.
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 22:57
i really think all personal problems and other related silly questions should be directed to hooch.
-vf
Dances with Mice
12-01-2008, 23:04
Ask ShadowMoss:
Years ago I had a complete collection of nylon wire ties in all sizes, carefully sorted by length. My nylon wire ties were stored together in a special place and arranged from small to large. Recently I needed a wire tie and went to the wire tie storage area and discovered I was out of the exact size I needed. I obviously can't use wire ties that are too short and I don't like to trim excess wire tie length, that's a sign of sloppy, irresponsible wire tie useage. Obviously I had to restock my supply.
When I went to the hardward store I discovered that there has been a revolution in wire ties. Back when I assembled my collection all the wire ties were white. But now they come in a rainbow of colors - white, black, fluorescent yellow, orange, green, and even magenta. Suddenly my wire tie collection seemed drab and dated. I felt the urge to buy wire ties in sizes I alread possessed but in these new, bright, exciting colors.
That thought disturbed me because I am not the sort of person to spend money so frivously. The wire ties I have are perfectly suited for any wire tying purpose. These new colors add nothing to wire tie functionality. Yet now when I look at my wire ties I feel disappointed.
Before I knew about these colored wire ties I was perfectly satisfied with my wire ties. Now I feel my wire ties are somehow inadequate, they look old fashioned and tired. I even considered throwing them out and restocking with all new, fresh wire ties.
Is this feeling of disappointment a symptom of a failing within myself? What does it say about the sort of person that I am if I would discard perfectly good wire ties just because wire tie fashion has changed? Am I clinging to the past by rejecting these new advances in wire tie technology?
What is the cause of my wire tie conflict?
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 23:16
I myself have a particularly vexing situation that I need help with and I need someone in whom I have confidence to counsel me to make the best choice.
Simple - only tango with your own species - Next. . .
Thats why I sit in or near my truck :sun
Which is where vinyl girlfriend is. . .
Ask ShadowMoss:
Years ago I had a complete collection of nylon wire ties in all sizes,
OK. . . stop right there. . .
Shadowmoss
12-01-2008, 23:22
Dear Dances with Wire Ties:
There would be no need to throw out the babies with the bathwater, as it were. I understand how upsetting it can be to have a rock on our often-trod trail suddenly move. However, such experiences to tend to teach us to stay light on our feet. Or, they teach us to fall gracefully. Or, they teach us to swear with grace when we come down hard on our left hand and wrist as I did when I tripped over the curb at the trail head last weekend... but, I digress.
Wire ties are truly functional, I agree (My degree is in Electrical Technology, actually). There is no law, unlike Ohm's law, that says that function can't be also beautiful. In fact, my valance in my dining room is a nice blue patterned tablecloth held in place with blue wire ties (again, a true story...) You are already out of one size of tie. You show you are a man of wisdom and experience with these ties. You actually use them. So, map out a plan to sort the ties by color/size. (I know you engineer types...) Red for one size, Blue for the next size, etc. Feel free to use the resistor color code scheme as necessary since it comes with the cool (and usually off-color) phrases to remember the color order. However, there is no need to do this all at once. As you run out of a size, or, if your engineer side can stand a bit of irregularity... no, not that kind..., as you get low in various lengths of the ties, you can switch over to the majority of each size being it's proscribed color. Keeping a few of the reliable white ones would be good as I assume that you have the kind that are more UV resistant for applications requiring that. White is almost always in style (except for between Labor Day and Memorial Day) and you will have situations where white (or winter white when appropriate) will be what is needed after all.
So, you can carry on with the traditional white tie, and move to a more exuberant color-based collection over time. Enjoy the process.
See! That wasn't so difficult.
Ms. AskShadowmoss
Dances with Mice
12-01-2008, 23:29
Audience, what is your opinion of her opinion?
Shadowmoss
12-01-2008, 23:30
And to show how inspired I was, I didn't even see the directions before I launched into my opinion. That was an audition??!! Alas. I would have actually thought about it if I'd known that. And, used a dictionary since spell check here can't usually figure out what word it is I'm trying to use.
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 23:31
Dear Ms Shadowmuppet,
Recently, I've had Lone Wolf nightmares. Am I drinking too much. Or am I just stupid?
warraghiyagey
12-01-2008, 23:32
Audience, what is your opinion of her opinion?
sucked moose weiner
:p
Shadowmoss
12-01-2008, 23:39
Dear Ms Shadowmuppet,
Recently, I've had Lone Wolf nightmares. Am I drinking too much. Or am I just stupid?
Dear Warrwhateveryoucallit:
I am sad to have to inform you that those weren't nightmares. You were actually still awake and reading his real responses here at WB. Yes, a few of us would like to just wake up and know that they were a part of the night that we could just shower away in the morning.
Ms. AskShadowMOSS
ps I actually enjoy LW's posts... usually...
Shadowmoss
12-01-2008, 23:40
sucked moose weiner
:p
...ahem...
Lone Wolf
12-02-2008, 06:41
To each poster that can breathe a hint of humor back into the WB.
The desired reaction listed below:
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
go to www.trailplace.com for a humorous forum
Dances with Mice
12-02-2008, 06:42
Ask ShadowMoss:
I have a problem? At work? There's this girl? When she talks? Everything's a question? And if she were to testify? At my murder trial? I know I'd be acquitted?
But that won't be possible? After I strangle her?
What is the solution? To my dilemma?
What WB needs is an expert to answer questions
Oh hell no.
I can't even tell the difference between twenty-five year old Scotch and urine.
Is no difference.
You win the prize.
I must admit I wanted those pretty, multi-colored wire ties. But they are thinner, and therefore not as slick as the boring bags of 100.
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 07:18
I'm sorry, but breathing emits CO2, which is killing the cows. Laughing emits more CO2, which not only kills normal cows, it kills the sea cows as well.
You might ask yourself, how does global warming effect the lives of cows? Well, I'll tell you. Its the damn hippies that think cows cause global warming. Now, when the hippies laugh and breath, poor innocent tasty cows get the blame and are killed.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Stop laughing right now, and eat more chikn
It's a good thing Buffalo Bill killed all those buffalo or they'd be dying, too.
warraghiyagey
12-02-2008, 07:23
go to www.trailplace.com (http://www.trailplace.com) for a humorous forum
:p:D:-?:rolleyes:
To each poster that can breathe a hint of humor back into the WB.
The desired reaction listed below:
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/laughing013.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Dude, c'mon, this hiking stuff is serious business, absolutely no laughing or joking around about it pleeeeaaaase!:mad:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/wb_style/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?p=733117#post733117)
go to www.trailplace.com (http://www.trailplace.com/) for a humorous forum
Wargy: :p:D:-?:rolleyes:Now, PEACE BE WITH YOU, and you, and you, and........:p
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 07:40
Dear ShadowSweetie,
I am addicted to WhiteBlaze. I can't get enough of threads about Wargys and Woodsys (ficticious characters, anyone see a problem?) Each morning I try to resist opening up the site, but, alas, my will is weak. Is this unusual? Do I need to see a shrink? Should I follow the deers' example and jump off an interstate overpass? I need your advice. I'd ask Skids but he trys to talk me into making a stove out of a pastic milk container. What should I do? Weak Blazer
warraghiyagey
12-02-2008, 07:45
go to www.trailplace.com (http://www.trailplace.com) for a humorous forum
Dude, c'mon, this hiking stuff is serious business, absolutely no laughing or joking around about it pleeeeaaaase!:mad:
Now, PEACE BE WITH YOU, and you, and you, and........:p
And also with You
warraghiyagey
12-02-2008, 07:50
Dear ShadowSweetie,
I am addicted to WhiteBlaze. I can't get enough of threads about Wargys and Woodsys (ficticious characters, anyone see a problem?) Each morning I try to resist opening up the site, but, alas, my will is weak. Is this unusual? Do I need to see a shrink? Should I follow the deers' example and jump off an interstate overpass? I need your advice. I'd ask Skids but he trys to talk me into making a stove out of a pastic milk container. What should I do? Weak Blazer
Playing the part of AskShadowMuppet this morning will be Warrghy:
Dear Mr. Blazer:
It is quite natural for humans to relate to soft, cuddly fictitious characters. No need to make like a deer and leave. . . heehee. . .
As for needing a shrink, as they say, the best therapy is good company - hope you are able to find some.
Warrghymuppet
warraghiyagey
12-02-2008, 07:51
...ahem...
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/fc/wootrock.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
sheepdog
12-02-2008, 07:53
Oh hell no.
I can't even tell the difference between twenty-five year old Scotch and urine.
urine is free :D:D
warraghiyagey
12-02-2008, 07:57
urine is free :D:D
Not sure I agree with your mathwork there Lou. . . $ = Scotch = urine. apply transitive property
It's not free
:p
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 07:58
Deer Urine is not free unless the deer gives it to you or jumps in front of your truck.
For you cyber hikers (http://www.cyberhikes.com/), there are now virtual armchair tours of places like Yosemite National Park and others. No need to get dirty, sweaty, hungry and breathless anymore.... just click on select hikes(blue box) and you're on your way! :D :sun
Bookmark and not going to get much productive done today!
superman
12-02-2008, 08:11
I'm sorry, but breathing emits CO2, which is killing the cows. Laughing emits more CO2, which not only kills normal cows, it kills the sea cows as well.
You might ask yourself, how does global warming effect the lives of cows? Well, I'll tell you. Its the damn hippies that think cows cause global warming. Now, when the hippies laugh and breath, poor innocent tasty cows get the blame and are killed.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Stop laughing right now, and eat more chikn
So you're saying that we should kill hippies...not cows? OK
Homer&Marje
12-02-2008, 08:11
So, I asked a little kid what he wanted for Christmas the other day while he was watching TV and he was quick to respond that he wanted $3 for Christmas.
I said OK but do you realize that's not much money and you could ask for more or a different present.
He affirmed that he knew it was not that much money but he had seen what he wanted on TV and it only cost $3 dollars and he did not want to be selfish.
Thinking that was very admirable I decided to inquire what the child wanted. He said, "I want a box of Tampax and I'm gonna buy it with the $3 you give me!"
A little in shock I asked him why he wanted a box of Tampax for Christmas and he said "Well I watched a commercial for Tampax on TV and it turns out if you buy them you can go swimming, biking, horseback riding, and even HIKING!"
sheepdog
12-02-2008, 08:24
Not sure I agree with your mathwork there Lou. . . $ = Scotch = urine. apply transitive property
It's not free
:p
So you can't really buy scotch, just rent it?
Two Speed
12-02-2008, 08:38
Oh hell no.
I can't even tell the difference between twenty-five year old Scotch and urine.Sooo, you've done extensive comparisons?
So you can't really buy scotch, just rent it?Just like coffee, beer, cognac, bourbon . . .
Lone Wolf
12-02-2008, 08:41
So you're saying that we should kill hippies...
at least kick the smelly ****ers
sheepdog
12-02-2008, 08:57
Here it is the winner!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkiOm-vmpcY
A million space bucks all mine.
Shadowmoss
12-02-2008, 09:09
Ask ShadowMoss:
I have a problem? At work? There's this girl? When she talks? Everything's a question? And if she were to testify? At my murder trial? I know I'd be acquitted?
But that won't be possible? After I strangle her?
What is the solution? To my dilemma?
Dear Dances with Questions:
And this is a problem why? You have a problem with women who question you? I'm not sure that I understand your dilemma, could you explain it further?
Ms. AskShadowmoss
Shadowmoss
12-02-2008, 09:14
Dear ShadowSweetie,
I am addicted to WhiteBlaze. I can't get enough of threads about Wargys and Woodsys (ficticious characters, anyone see a problem?) Each morning I try to resist opening up the site, but, alas, my will is weak. Is this unusual? Do I need to see a shrink? Should I follow the deers' example and jump off an interstate overpass? I need your advice. I'd ask Skids but he trys to talk me into making a stove out of a pastic milk container. What should I do? Weak Blazer
My Darling Blazer:
I personally find that ficticius males males are far more interesting than the real thing. Real males tend to do disgusting things like belch, scratch, and other unmentionable bodily functions in public. I find that most of my friendships with males tend to be of the ficticius type, and my life has gotten much more pleasant since I made the change. So, I don't think you need a shrink as much as perhaps a 21" (or larger) monitor. Please don't go jumping off any interstate bridges, it leaves such a mess.
A stove out of a plastic milk container... hmmm. Do you have a link for that???
Smooches
Ms. AskShadowmoss
Homer&Marje
12-02-2008, 09:43
Here it is the winner!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkiOm-vmpcY
A million space bucks all mine.
Undeniably the winner.:D
Undeniably the winner.:D
I really don't see whats so fascinating about it. That is just normal everyday life here in SC
flemdawg1
12-02-2008, 10:08
Not sure I agree with your mathwork there Lou. . . $ = Scotch = urine. apply transitive property
It's not free
:p
Cool equation. So, how much of my urine do you need to give me $100?
superman
12-02-2008, 10:14
I really don't see whats so fascinating about it. That is just normal everyday life here in SC
Heck yeah, and I'd put my sister up against anybody.:D
I really don't see whats so fascinating about it. That is just normal everyday life here in SCI thought that was West Virginia. :banana
I thought that was West Virginia. :bananaLast weekend we has a sales tax holliday on guns. Nothing else, just guns. If that doesn't take the cake for the most backwards state I don't know what does.
Homer&Marje
12-02-2008, 11:29
I really don't see whats so fascinating about it. That is just normal everyday life here in SC
Reminds me of the all the family I have in Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas and just about anywhere else they could have held a family reunion:D
Aunt Charlenes Miiiiiiiine Toooooonight!
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 11:48
My Darling Blazer:
I personally find that ficticius males males are far more interesting than the real thing. Real males tend to do disgusting things like belch, scratch, and other unmentionable bodily functions in public. I find that most of my friendships with males tend to be of the ficticius type, and my life has gotten much more pleasant since I made the change.
Smooches
Ms. AskShadowmoss
Ficticious males like Jethro Tull or Steely Dan?
Last weekend we has a sales tax holliday on guns. Nothing else, just guns. If that doesn't take the cake for the most backwards state I don't know what does.
Sounds like a good idea to me!!! :D
Shadowmoss
12-02-2008, 11:58
Ficticious males like Jethro Tull or Steely Dan?
I love Jethro Tull (Ian Anderson isn't bad, either ;)). Steely Dan is ok, not a favorite.
But the way, I copied your misspelling for ficticious (which is still misspelled, by the way - spellcheck is a lovely thing). :sun
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 13:48
A Steely Dan is another name for an electronic banana. I don't know which one was Jethro Tull. As far as speling goes, Matty is my heroe (next to Dan Quayle.)
Lone Wolf
12-02-2008, 13:53
A Steely Dan is another name for an electronic banana. I don't know which one was Jethro Tull. As far as speling goes, Matty is my heroe (next to Dan Quayle.)
Tull http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jethro_Tull_(agriculturist) a steely dan is a dildo
Shadowmoss
12-02-2008, 13:55
A Steely Dan is another name for an electronic banana. I don't know which one was Jethro Tull. As far as speling goes, Matty is my heroe (next to Dan Quayle.)
...ahem...
You just lost your 'darling' designation.
The reason I'm mentioning the misspelling is that I am usually much more original in my spelling of words, but I coped out and just used yours that time. You do get points for misspelling it twice in two different ways, though.
Lone Wolf
12-02-2008, 13:57
a steely dan is a dildo
speciffically a strap-on
Shadowmoss
12-02-2008, 14:04
speciffically a strap-on
I am constantly amazed at the depth and variety of LW's knowledge. Just as a check I asked in the chat room of computer hackers...err geeks that I hang with and that is tilted heavily to young males, and only 1 knew it as such. These guys are usually well-versed in this general subject.
Dances with Mice
12-02-2008, 14:06
So what is a Lynyrd Skynyrd?
And don't give me that 'old gym coach' story.
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 14:07
...ahem...
You just lost your 'darling' designation.
The reason I'm mentioning the misspelling is that I am usually much more original in my spelling of words, but I coped out and just used yours that time. You do get points for misspelling it twice in two different ways, though.
I've had a hard day playing lummi sticks with the kindergarteners. I'm having a hard day copping with the 5th graders.
Lone Wolf
12-02-2008, 14:11
So what is a Lynyrd Skynyrd?
And don't give me that 'old gym coach' story.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynyrd_Skynyrd read the early years
I am constantly amazed at the depth and variety of LW's knowledge.
So which is it for LW--too much internet time, or too much real life experience?:rolleyes:
Gray Blazer
12-02-2008, 14:17
Ronnie's grave site plays a recording of Free Bird.
Lone Wolf
12-02-2008, 14:19
So which is it for LW--too much internet time, or too much real life experience?:rolleyes:
the latter
bigmac_in
12-02-2008, 16:21
From the Urban Dictionary -
1. Steely Dan 215 up (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#), 10 down (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#)http://www.urbandictionary.com/images/thumbsup.gif (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#)http://www.urbandictionary.com/images/thumbsdown.gif (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#)(1) proper name of a steam powered dildo from the novel "Naked Lunch" by William S. Burroughs.
(2) jazzy rock band from the 70's, most of whom's subtle lyrics are about heavy heavy drug use, ludacrus sex and suicide. curiously, a favorite of house wives everywhere for their soft tones and smooth vocals.
2. steely dan 93 up (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#), 12 down (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#)http://www.urbandictionary.com/images/thumbsup.gif (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#)http://www.urbandictionary.com/images/thumbsdown.gif (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=steely+dan#)n.
1) Large Metal Dildo
2) Jazz/Rock group, often considered to be an actual person by retarded people.
Dances with Mice
12-02-2008, 16:27
Ronnie's grave site plays a recording of Free Bird.Does it also have an eternal flame in the shape of a Bic lighter?
Dances with Mice
12-02-2008, 19:41
Does it also have an eternal flame in the shape of a Bic lighter?...because Bic lighters were traditionally used to call for an encore which would be.... ok, ok, nevermind.
Ask ShadowMoss:
I was recently at a professional sporting event and now I have a question pertaining to etiquette.
We had seats near the center of a row. When I needed to get to the aisle to, for example, buy beer I had to walk past half a row of seated people. It was a narrow row, as most stadiums have, and I am not a small person. I had to shuffle down the row side-stepping, there was no room to walk down the row in a natural, forward facing fashion. So is it more polite to face towards the playing field, thereby mooning half a row of people as I side-stepped past them or to face towards them with my back to the playing field as I shuffled past?
Then, when I returned with my hands filled with several cups of beer, should I face towards my row-mates on the return trip so that they could take evasive action if I happened to stumble or should I face away from them, towards the playing field, so that if an accident were to happen I'd splash the people in the row in front of us who would be blissfully ignornant that they were about to receive a golden shower? So to speak.
(signed) Stumbles with Beer
warraghiyagey
12-02-2008, 21:23
Heck yeah, and I'd put my sister up against anybody.:D
Ummm. . . .
sheepdog
12-02-2008, 21:36
http://www.geocities.com/yank2010/eating.jpg
I expect my million space bucks sent to my account in jupiter.
Shadowmoss
12-02-2008, 22:43
Dear Dances with Spectators:
My, you do lead a convoluted life, don't you!?!
My personal thought would be to face towards the playing field. You can all then act like you are still watching the players on the field while still being able to monitor your progress (both you and your spectators...) with either anticipation or trepidation. Also, if I was going to have to 'see' a strange man (and you definitely qualify there) up close and personal as they say, I would prefer to do it behind his back. While that may not seem nice, considering the other option it does seem preferable to me.
As for the return trip (so to speak), I believe the element of surprise would give you more of a chance to be further away when the victim's ire peaks if you faced towards the playing field again. From a distance you might be (a bit) more believable when you say I'm sorry, having them think you mean sorry to get them wet rather than the truth that you are sorry you lost your beer. This gives your aisle mates a chance to laugh behind your back also, perhaps making up a bit for the inconvenience.
Then again, remember this is a hiking forum. I don't tend to go places where there are so many people that I have to squeeze past them. So, take my advice for what it is worth. If that.
Wearily,
Ms. AskShadowmoss
ps: Did you come to some resolution? About the woman who questions you? The one you asked about earlier?
Dances with Mice
12-02-2008, 22:59
ps: Did you come to some resolution? About the woman who questions you? The one you asked about earlier?I don't know what problem you're talking about and I have an alibi.
warraghiyagey
12-03-2008, 07:40
I don't know what problem you're talking about and I have an alibi.
Well played. . . ;)
Homer&Marje
12-03-2008, 07:57
I don't know what problem you're talking about and I have an alibi.
You have an Alibi? What country is that breed from? Long haired or short haired? Do they get along with kids?
.....now they got me asking only questions?:D
superman
12-03-2008, 09:38
If you don't recall what this is about... posts as follow: #51,#54,#55,57,#79.
Ummm. . . .
OK, I take it the "ummm" means you're bashful. I'll tell sis you're coming on the 25th. I hope this isn't too much pressure on you since we always tell her she's getting something special on that day.:D
flemdawg1
12-03-2008, 10:21
I'm STILL waiting for the answer to my urine question. DW is starting to get nervous about having all these jugs around. :-)
superman
12-03-2008, 13:46
Well, I guess this somes it up.:)
http://www.andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/ (http://www.andycouch.com/whitetrashxmas/)
Getting back to basics. Among the problems that us thru hikers face -- and wannabe thru hikers -- some of which think of me as one of them. Comeon. I spent six months and three days. Regardless, after spending eight months on a trail, more or less, one thing is certainly true, one gets out of tune with ordinary happenings.
For instance, I once heard from a friend, who lived next to the trail. He told me about a White Blaze thru hiker, who had returned home.
It seems that this "thru" hiker kept going to his "snail" mail box everyday. day after day, at five minute intervals. Finally, my friend screwed up the courage to ask the obvious question. "Why do you go to your mail box, hour after hour, day after day, and return with no new mail.?"
Easy the White Blazer confessed, "Because my computer keeps telling me. "You've got mail."
Weary
Homer&Marje
12-04-2008, 07:12
I would take away a spacebuck for that. I, I will, I will never get that 30 seconds back Weary.
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:01
For more pictures check out this link - very cool!
These pictures were taken by a KTBS helicopter flying over Lake Wiessabout 90 miles north of Birmingham, Alabama!
The helicopter pilot and the game warden were in communication via radio, here is a transcript of their conversation:
'Air1 have you a visual on the gator, over'
'Approaching inlet now, over'
'Roger Air1'
'Gator sighted.. Looks like it has a small animal in its mouth.. moving in, over'
'Roger Air1'
'Holy Crap it's a Deer!'
'confirm Air1.. did you say Deer?, Over'
'Roger.. a Deer in its mouth.. looks like a full sized buck.. that's a big gator, were gonna need more men, Over'
'Roger Air1..can you give me a idea on size of animal, over'
'Its big 25 feet at least, please advise Gator is heading to inlet.. do I pursue?, over'
http://by107w.bay107.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://64.4.51.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d3da413fc-0f8a-4dfe-af6c-f1343c5c4adf.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26nam e%3dSW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3d False%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a439CCAFA8F4147C38C7A08B94 9435918%2540earl&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.204&d=d1344&mf=0&a=01_c449c079929b75d78383ca8fa30993e439c744a092987 5d99208aaf1c6c67345
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:06
Here's the rest
That has to be a HUGE gator to have a whole deer in its mouth!
The deer was later found to be a mature Stag and was measured at 11 feet!
Are you ready to go skiing on Lake Wiessabout?!
If you ski at the west end of the lake -- try not to fall.
http://by107w.bay107.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://64.4.51.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d6fca70c8-fe4d-4a4c-ad41-7af5a85e3e8c.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26nam e%3dZmlsZTAwMC5qcGc_3d%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26em pty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a8740985F78704BBAB21 DE0E97DF9D1CA%2540earl&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.204&d=d1344&mf=0&a=01_c449c079929b75d78383ca8fa30993e439c744a092987 5d99208aaf1c6c67345
This alligator was found between Centre and Leesburg, Alabama near a house! Game wardens were forced to shoot the alligator - guess he wouldn't cooperate...
Anita and Charlie Rogers could hear the bellowing in the night. Their neighbors had been telling them that they had seen a mammoth alligator in the waterway that runs behind their house, but they dismissed the stories as exaggerations.
'I didn't believe it,' Charles Rogers said, but they realized the stories were, if anything, understated.
Alabama Parks and Wildlife game wardens had to shoot the beast. Joe Goff, 6'5' tall, a game warden, walks past the 28-foot, 1-inch alligator he shot and killed in their back yard.
http://by107w.bay107.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://64.4.51.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d2a583dc4-6133-483e-877d-e340fbbcd2f4.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26nam e%3dZmlsZTAwMS5qcGc_3d%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26em pty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253aDB10E371F45240A8840 F61885EB37F30%2540earl&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.204&d=d1344&mf=0&a=01_c449c079929b75d78383ca8fa30993e439c744a092987 5d99208aaf1c6c67345
Lone Wolf
12-04-2008, 09:07
huh? what photos?
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:08
huh? what photos?
fixed it
Lone Wolf
12-04-2008, 09:10
no you didn't
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:21
posts 91 and 92 are the complete story and all the pictures that were on the link.
Lone Wolf
12-04-2008, 09:24
there are no pics, just boxes with red Xs
Bulldawg
12-04-2008, 09:27
NO LINK! Try again!
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:41
Crap!!! When I get on this thread everything shows up pictures and all. Can anyone else see the story/pics?
sheepdog
12-04-2008, 09:43
How about this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb9yhhflmvY
Another winner for sheeeepdooooog!!!!!
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:45
http://65.55.130.121/att/GetAttachment.aspx?file=5f8c71cd-e3a3-4f6f-8a12-05a344a76886.mht&ct=bWVzc2FnZS9yZmM4MjI_3d&name=RndkIEZ3IFRoZSBEZWVyIEh1bnRlciAtIEFic29sdXRlb HkgVW5iZWxpZXZhYmxlXS5taHQ_3d&inline=0&rfc=0&empty=False&imgsrc=&hm__login=peacespecter&hm__domain=hotmail.com&ip=10.1.106.204&d=d1344&mf=0&hm__ts=Thu%2c%2004%20Dec%202008%2014%3a43%3a58%20G MT&hm__ha=01_641453aa16d1f15aeb3c05d398dca3dc39414c28 1b73e00249698164e5227aca&oneredir=1
I hope this works - and that after all the fuss it isn't old news.:o
warraghiyagey
12-04-2008, 09:46
OK, I suck
Gray Blazer
12-04-2008, 09:53
That's pretty old news. I wonder what they asked the gator to do that he didn't cooperate.
flemdawg1
12-04-2008, 14:02
For more pictures check out this link - very cool!
These pictures were taken by a KTBS helicopter flying over Lake Wiessabout 90 miles north of Birmingham, Alabama!....
http://by107w.bay107.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://64.4.51.249/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d3da413fc-0f8a-4dfe-af6c-f1343c5c4adf.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26nam e%3dSW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3d False%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a439CCAFA8F4147C38C7A08B94 9435918%2540earl&oneredir=1&ip=10.1.106.204&d=d1344&mf=0&a=01_c449c079929b75d78383ca8fa30993e439c744a092987 5d99208aaf1c6c67345
BS meter was going off because:
1. All TV/radio stations East of Mississippi River start w/ the letter W, not K.
2. There is no Lake Weissabout, 90 miles north of Birmingham that I know about.
Snopes link (true, but nowhere near 20+ ft): http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/gatordeer.asp
Rockhound
12-04-2008, 21:01
a father walks into his sons' room and catches him masterbating. he says "son if you keep doing that you'll go blind" the son replies, "dad, i'm over here"
Rockhound
12-04-2008, 21:04
BS meter was going off because:
1. All TV/radio stations East of Mississippi River start w/ the letter W, not K.
2. There is no Lake Weissabout, 90 miles north of Birmingham that I know about.
Snopes link (true, but nowhere near 20+ ft): http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/gatordeer.asp
you can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. bats always exit to the left side of the cave. bees can smell fear.
warraghiyagey
12-05-2008, 00:29
This was the other photo that I couldn't link earlier
http://officespam.chattablogs.com/archives/alligator-deer-shot.jpg
warraghiyagey
12-05-2008, 06:37
OH NO You didn't let Austex win aaaaaand outsmiley me.
POOOOOOP!!!!
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent012.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Homer&Marje
12-05-2008, 07:54
OH NO You didn't let Austex win aaaaaand outsmiley me.
POOOOOOP!!!!
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent012.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/violent069.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org)
I wasn't anywhere near a computer to win. Touchee salesman. I too have an uncle.
warraghiyagey
12-05-2008, 08:03
americans
This is a humor thread dude - pretty much -
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 08:14
This is a humor thread dude - pretty much -
I tink he was funny. In a dry, sarcastic kind of way, but funnyyy. :banana
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 08:16
This was the other photo that I couldn't link earlier
http://officespam.chattablogs.com/archives/alligator-deer-shot.jpg
When golf season ended and he lost his easy supply of food in silly clothes, the gator lost his will to live. Suicide by hanging, such a shame.
warraghiyagey
12-05-2008, 08:22
When golf season ended and he lost his easy supply of food in silly clothes, the gator lost his will to live. Suicide by hanging, such a shame.
What the Ranger does not know is that the gator is only mostly dead.
warraghiyagey
12-05-2008, 08:24
I tink he was funny. In a dry, sarcastic kind of way, but funnyyy. :banana
Me too but that stuff also tends to elicit responses and then, well. . . we've seen it before. . .
So anyone heard a good one lately???:sun:sun:sun
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 08:29
A guy joins a monestary. One monk can only speak once a year. The first year a monk gets up and says, "I think the cod fish is too salty."
The next year another monk gets up and says, " I don't think the cod fish is too salty at all."
The next year another monk gets up and says, " If you don't stop all this bickering, I'm out of here."
warraghiyagey
12-05-2008, 08:32
A Sandwich walks into a bar and says, "Can I get a beer?"
And the bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
Lone Wolf
12-05-2008, 08:35
a jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar and the bartender says, what is this, a joke?
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 08:38
A rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "Get out of hear we don't serve ropes."
The rope leaves, ties one end, and unwinds some of the rope.
He walks into the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Aren't you a rope?"
"Nope, frayed knot."
superman
12-05-2008, 08:41
I can, canoe?
There was a grape, an apple and a banana on top of a building. The grape and the apple jumped off why didn't the banana?...............it was yellow.
There was a big moron and a little moron on a bridge. The big moron fell off, why didn't the little one?.................................it was a little moron.
(from Boys Life 1958):welcome
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 08:49
My computer seems to be http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcArnepkhv0
Homer&Marje
12-05-2008, 08:50
Two guys walk into a heavy metal bar. They should have ducked.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face"?
A horse walks into a chinese bar and the bartender says "Why the Wong face"?
Gray Blazer
12-05-2008, 10:46
I can, canoe?
There was a grape, an apple and a banana on top of a building. The grape and the apple jumped off why didn't the banana?...............it was yellow.
There was a big moron and a little moron on a bridge. The big moron fell off, why didn't the little one?.................................it was a little moron.
(from Boys Life 1958):welcome
You're dating yourself. My little bro actually got his cartoon printed up in Boy's Life back in the 60's. Why did the moron keep domesticated animals? Cuz he was an Oxy-moron.
I'll bet Homer keeps his customers in stitches.
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 11:12
What the Ranger does not know is that the gator is only mostly dead.
Inconceivable!!!!
saimyoji
12-05-2008, 11:17
You're dating yourself. My little bro actually got his cartoon printed up in Boy's Life back in the 60's. Why did the moron keep domesticated animals? Cuz he was an Oxy-moron.
I'll bet Homer keeps his customers in stitches.
Is he a tailor?
sheepdog
12-05-2008, 11:33
Is he a tailor?
Nope he's a smith, but he married a taylor :banana
Dances with Mice
12-05-2008, 13:49
Termite walks into a bar. Says "Is the bartender here?"
A jigsaw walks into a bar, sits next to the power sander and says "You know the drill, right?"
Homer&Marje
12-06-2008, 10:36
Nope he's a smith, but he married a taylor :banana
That was hilarious. It deserves bananas
:banana:banana:banana:banana :banana
:banana:banana:banana:banana :banana
:banana:banana:banana:banana :banana
What do you call 20 blonds in a freezer? A box of Frosted Flakes.
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? Ones a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.:D
superman
12-06-2008, 14:20
[quote=Gray Blazer;734865]You're dating yourself.
If you mean romantically then I have a good chance of getting lucky?:D
Three Doctors die and go to Heaven where they are met by St. Peter.
St. Peter tells them that they have to explain to him how they benefited mankind while on earth in order to gain acceptance.
The first Doctor stepped up and said: "I was a pediatrian. I spent two days a week in a free clinic. Thousands of Children will lead healthy lives because of my care".
St. Peter said ... "ok ... go on in" as the gates opened then closed after him.
The second doctor stepped and said "I was a research doctor and I developed several new medicines that gave millions of people longer and more productive lives".
St. Peter said ... " ok ... go on in" as the gates opened then closed after him with a clang.
St. Peter then asked the third doctor: "And what was your contribution to mankind"?
The Doctor said: " I was the adminstrator for a major HMO group that provided thousands of families with affordable healthcare".
St. Peter looked away and stroked his chin in thought for a while, then turned back and said: " Very well. You can come into Heaven, but you can only stay three days then you can go to H_LL."