View Full Version : It is OKKay when a loved one goes on the Trail
Hikerwannabe
01-04-2009, 22:46
Well this is different......Last week at this time I was putting The True Love Of My Life on a friggin train...to no where in my mind but actually to Springer for the start of His Hike. I have come to the real thinking on this now...This is HIS HIKE and can do it how he pleases..I am feeling some Kinda Lose...I miss him Just being here but This is something he has gotta do for HIM.....I just hope if He Needs something along the way He calls I would have i there ASAP. God knows it's Hard to Love SomeOne who is Hiking.......
Hikerwannabe-
You didn't say if this person you sent off to Springer is your husband, boyfriend or what, but it doesn't matter, cause if you love em, you miss em. February 29, 2008, my wife of 38 years carried me to Springer to begin my thru-hike. For both of us parting was difficult but especially for her because she is from the old school where a husband and wife do almost everything together. In other words, you don't voluntarily separate for 5 or 6 months. It just isn't done. As much as I tried to convince her to use the time as a growth experience for making decisions and basically taking care of everything, she couldn't accept it. After a couple of weeks she really began to put the heat on me to wrap it up and come home. I think that she thought I wouldn't last but a couple of weeks and that's the reason she went along with it in the first place. So I hiked much harder than a guy my age should so that I could complete my hike and get home as soon as possible. In the end, I left the trail at Grafton Notch, ME with only 266 miles of trail remaining. I won't say that she caused it because she didn't. There were several reasons I left the trail. One being, I was simply tired of hiking and my interest had changed to other things. But if she had offered some encouragement however, I would have finished my hike.
So, just a word of advice if I may. No matter how lonely you get, do not discourage him. If you really believe this is "his" hike, then offer all the support you can muster. He will love you for it.
And for me, as soon as bug season is over in ME I will be returning to resume and finish my hike!!!
Blissful
01-04-2009, 23:37
My hubby felt the same way...
Hikerwannabe
01-04-2009, 23:45
You summed it all up for me in a nutshell...I do and support him totally..with his hike...I do Love Him And Support im willing to do What ever it takes for him to fulfill his dream.................I will get mine in the end..........:D
Pokey2006
01-05-2009, 01:03
In the grand scheme of things, five or six months is nothing. The time flies by quickly, and will be just a memory before you even know it.
One thing that might make it easier is to plan to visit him during one of his town stops. Especially a couple months into it, hikers do sometimes enjoy taking a little break to see their loved ones. The separation is probably hard on him, too. But don't plan to spend more than a couple days at a time, and try to be flexible on the dates.
Meantime, find something you like to do on your own, and learn to enjoy your own space and being the master of your own downtime.
dixicritter
01-06-2009, 10:24
Well this is different......Last week at this time I was putting The True Love Of My Life on a friggin train...to no where in my mind but actually to Springer for the start of His Hike. I have come to the real thinking on this now...This is HIS HIKE and can do it how he pleases..I am feeling some Kinda Lose...I miss him Just being here but This is something he has gotta do for HIM.....I just hope if He Needs something along the way He calls I would have i there ASAP. God knows it's Hard to Love SomeOne who is Hiking.......
Question and please don't take these the wrong way, you know I only mean to help you here... What makes it any different to love him now that he's hiking than it was when he was right there beside you? Is he a different man now that he's not right there? These are things you need to ask yourself when you start thinking that it is now hard to love a hiker... why? Just because they are out in the woods what makes them any different than if they were right there. You will find that the answer will seem selfish to you and it will put things into perspective real quick if you really want them to succeed in their hike.
As you know, since we've talked off forum, I think you can handle this and will do just fine. You just need to find ways to stop the doubts when they start creeping in. ;) Hang in there!
wilsonspaz68
01-08-2009, 17:28
Last September my fiance took his first hike. It was only for a week, but the idea of being apart and waking up alone was daunting! However, it got easier after the first couple of days. When I saw him the following week, I was overcome with happiness being beside him again.
I realize that a week is quite different from 6 months, but the point is that being apart makes you appreciate that person so much more when you finally are together again. So have patience and offer support, because it's not easy on them being away from you either.
Hikerwannabe, is he the one from NJ with the "spot", the one with a hammock? If so, I'm keeping up with his journals too. Sounds like a good guy. Just enjoy the hike through his updates, even though you miss him.
Hikerwannabe
01-08-2009, 18:38
Question and please don't take these the wrong way, you know I only mean to help you here... What makes it any different to love him now that he's hiking than it was when he was right there beside you? Is he a different man now that he's not right there? These are things you need to ask yourself when you start thinking that it is now hard to love a hiker... why? Just because they are out in the woods what makes them any different than if they were right there. You will find that the answer will seem selfish to you and it will put things into perspective real quick if you really want them to succeed in their hike.
As you know, since we've talked off forum, I think you can handle this and will do just fine. You just need to find ways to stop the doubts when they start creeping in. ;) Hang in there!
Even though its hard to admit when you are wrong....right now I can do so...Thank You Dixie for bringing it to my attention...I was wrong with my first feelings and feel totally different today. I still feel the same about my loved one but feel different about his HIKE. But I have however been able to move on and focus on Myself for a change and I am enjoying that...as well as following my other half's on the trail. So for those of you that struggle in the beginning...it gets soooo much easier....Hike on ...:D
dixicritter
01-09-2009, 13:45
Even though its hard to admit when you are wrong....right now I can do so...Thank You Dixie for bringing it to my attention...I was wrong with my first feelings and feel totally different today. I still feel the same about my loved one but feel different about his HIKE. But I have however been able to move on and focus on Myself for a change and I am enjoying that...as well as following my other half's on the trail. So for those of you that struggle in the beginning...it gets soooo much easier....Hike on ...:D
You are quite welcome! I knew you had it in ya! :sun