View Full Version : Lighten up!
Its seems that everyone is preparing for the up coming hiking season and theirs not enough laughing, so if you have joke nows the time to let every one hear it. I will start. Its corney but hey what you gonna do?
I was on a hiking trip with Sherlock Holmes and it was time for us to go to bed and we were lying there looking up at the stars. Holmes said "Snowhoe, look up what do you see? "well I said I see thousands of stars. Holmes said and what do you think that means? Well I guess it means its going to be a nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you I said. He said to me it means some one has stolen our tent. HA HA HA HA. I know its pretty dumb but you pay more money you get better jokes. What do you have?
Two backpackers go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they’ve forgotten a bottle opener. The first hiker turns to the second and says, "You’ve gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."
"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."
"I promise I won’t," says the hiker. "Just hurry!"
Nine full days pass and there’s still no sign of the second hiker. Exasperated and starving, the first hiker digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, the second hiker pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I’m not going!"
I'm from Arkansas so I can tell this one.:o
A redneck family from the hills of Arkansas was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno.
I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is.
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,
'Boy.................go gitcha momma
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats an astonished woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over and asked,
'Are all of those kids yours?'
He replied, 'No, I work for a condom company, .... these are customer complaints.
A couple of hikers are out, and one goes on ahead to set up his tent. His foot falls into a huge hole and he almost falls in. It looks like some sort of an old sink hole or well, so he drops a rock into it - but it never hits bottom.
His buddy comes along and he shows him the hole and how close he came to falling in, they decide to throw a bigger rock in, and they listen - but they can't seem to hear it hit the bottom.
So they decide they need something bigger....they look around and find a good sized log and drop it in the hole - nothing! They wait and wait and it never hits bottom!
Suddenly a goat comes running through the woods and jumps into the hole - they are completely shocked by what they just saw.
They head down the trail and pass a guy who stops them and asks them if they'd seen a goat. They said - yes, actually the strangest thing happened - this goat ran right by us and dove right into this huge hole we found!
The guy said "oh, that couldn't have been my goat, my goat was tied to a huge log".
A Hiking We Will Go…..
Last summer, my husband took me camping for the first time.
At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.
One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. He tried the
usual tactics to determine direction — moss on the trees
(there was none), direction of the sun (it was an overcast
day), etc., etc.
Just as I was beginning to panic, he spotted a small cabin
off in the distance. He pulled out his binoculars, studied
the cabin, turned, and led us right back to our camp. “That
was terrific,” I said. “How did you do it?”
“Simple,” he replied. “In this part of the country, all the
TV satellite dishes point south.”