View Full Version : Father hiking with teenage daughter who might have her period
Kneegrinder
04-05-2009, 16:37
I've been section hiking for a number of years with my son and my younger daughter wants to do a short section with me this summer. She now has her period which is relatively new to her and is concerned that she will have it when our hike is planned.
I know about packing in and packing out but this is something she has only discussed with my wife and apparently doesn't want to raise with me. How can we get her not to worry about it and avoid the awkwardness of addressing with her father?
Any advice?
Kneegrinder
That is definitely an awkward time for girls, and she has a lot to get used to. My suggestion is to let her mom be the main source of information for her, if that is how your daughter prefers it. Mom can also reinforce to your daughter that dealing with periods on the trail shouldn't be a deal-breaker for a trip. It just requires a little knowledge and practice. Mom can also encourage your daughter that you are a resource for her. As your daughter gets more comfortable with this, she can probably handle it all on her own without even mentioning it to you. But, she should also know that if she has a problem, dad is cool with it and can help her, too. It may be easier for your daughter to hear all of this from mom at first, and then gradually bring you into the circle of trust on an as needed basis. And, if she feels prepared, she just might not need your help for this. :)
I remember being extremely embarrassed at that age. As I got older, I could talk to my dad about anything and he would even buy my supplies at times, but the first few years are rough. I second letting her mom do most of the talking for the time being. If there's info specific to hiking that your wife doesn't know, educate her so that she can tell your daughter if she asks her instead of you.
One thing you might want to consider is that many girls that age can't use tampons yet. You might want to get a special trash bag for her to use to pack out her used pads. A dark-colored trash bag (to prevent embarrassment) with a ziplock or two inside.
Another issue to consider is that she might get crampy, grumpy, or miserable if her time of the month hits when she's out there. I had an awful lot of trouble when I was around 12-13 with cramps and moodiness (luckily that got better as I got older). You probably already know if she has these kinds of issues..if she does, consider taking some Midol or similar in your first aid kit.
Finally, packing a spare pair of her shorts and undies in your pack might come in handy if it starts unexpectedly while she's out there. She might be embarrassed if you suggest to her to carry them, but she'll sure be grateful if you happen to have them in your pack should they be needed.
Hope this helps. I'm also betting if she PMs any of the women here on the board with questions she'll get lots of positive advice and responses.
:) Sugargrits
karoberts
04-05-2009, 21:34
Let her play it by ear and decide the week before the trip if she wants to back out. It takes practice to be able to handle that type of thing on a backpacking trip and she might not be ready. Especially if she doesn't wear tampons yet, which I think are much more convenient when exercising. To be honest, the whole situation could get yucky and if I was her, I would skip it too.
Let her mom talk to her about it. I would never have talked to my dad about it! I would have died of embarrassment!
Wet wipes are a great idea to carry in a zip-lock, too. Your wife can stress there importance for cleaning up.
What I do is firstly make a "period bag" which is a gallon or two gallon-sized ziploc bag covered with duct tape. I would also buy a 20-pack or 25-pack of baby wipes. This will last you the whole period even if yours if 7 days, changing at 8-hour intervals. You can use pads or tampons and then clean up with a baby wipe. Then you throw all of that in to the period bag and zip it up. Throw away when you're done (or if you encounter a can on the trail, empty it).
Blissful
04-05-2009, 21:58
I never talked to my dad about it, I must admit.
If she is uncomfortable hiking with it, have her postpone the hike. esp if she is young and this is all new.
Spirit Walker
04-05-2009, 23:20
When I was a teenager, I bled very very heavily. I also couldn't use tampons. I'm quite sure I wouldn't have done well backpacking during my period back then. Napkins tend to move around when you walk a lot, making them pretty useless and sometimes painful (chaffing if it's hot.) Best suggestion is to time the trip so that she is less likely to start while you are out. If she does use tampons (they have smaller ones now) there may be no problem - except the mess. Maybe bring an extra bottle of water for handwashing.
Sleeps_With_Skunks
04-06-2009, 14:03
You might also want to make her aware that sometimes on hiking trips the period can be delayed by a few days to weeks. Happens to athletes especially gymnasts too. If she is just starting to get her periods they may not be completely regular.
Tell her mom to let her know to carry Painkiller, pads and or tampons, some wet wipes, handful of small ziplocs(I also put the smalled ziplocs inside a gallon size ziploc) to seal things up. Place them in all one larger ziploc bag inside a dark colored stuff sack to makes things discreet and waterproof. I use the stuff sack because you will want to hang everything with the food bags to keep critters out of the mix. Both times I thought I was going to get mine on the trail, my body delayed things naturally....but I carried my womens possible kit anyway.
Kneegrinder
04-06-2009, 14:35
Thanks to everyone for their helpful advice!
I've enjoyed the solo time with my son Monopoly Man through the years and am looking forward to doing this with my daughter.
Now, she just needs to meet a thruhiker to get a trailname.
Kneegrinder
I second what Spirit Walker said-I can't wear napkins/pads even at home, as they rub me absolutely raw. Don't even discuss hiking with them with me!
This is really just a tricky point in time for her. Based on her mother's periods you can usually get an estimation of what hers will be like; my mother's were very heavy, and my sister's and mine are too. If she's just not a happy camper at all during that time of the month I'd say play it by ear. If she does OK at home, see if she's OK going out (via Mom).
Always bring either ibuprofen or naproxen though! Oh, it helps cramps so much. Can't even tell you. Woof.
given the embarrassment factor: there are several threads on this subject on here, maybe just pointing her to the female section and let her read it, or have her mom to point her here
ishmael86
04-08-2009, 12:55
I know it might also be a little out of the comfort zone--especially for a younger girl, but I completely love my menstrual cup--reusable, so there's no trash to pack in or out, and I can't even feel it's there, so I have no problem hiking or moving around in it. I also feel like my cramps are lighter since I started using it. Again, just a thought--it's efficient for hiking but I know bringing less common solutions into the equation might make things even more awkward!!
Pokey2006
04-08-2009, 14:23
I love my Diva Cup, too, but I had enough trouble with tampons at that age, never mind a CUP! She may not be ready for that.
One thing you could try first is to take her out on a day hike when she has her period. That way, she can see if the pads are comfortable enough, how the cramps feel while walking, etc. Then, maybe mom could talk to her afterward and see if either there's a solution to any of the issues, or if she'd prefer to just postpone an overnight until after her period.
Good luck!
Pringles
04-11-2009, 18:10
I usually carry some of the really light, small plastic bags for disposing of disposable diapers or doggie-doo-doo. They're transparent, and that can help keep things discreet.
Beth
The difficulty with younger girls is that periods can be hard to predict. I was completely irregular (although, thankfully, had a very light flow) for the first year or so. If her flow is relatively light still and she has started wearing tampons, this may be a more manageable issue. If she has a heavy flow and/or is only wearing pads, it may too challenging/uncomfortable for her to manage. Interestingly enough, when I was a teenager, whenever I took a trip that involved air travel, I skipped my next period completely. Just one of those random (but exceptionally convenient!) things -- I never had to deal with my period on a family trip! So, I second the person who said this may be a nonissue -- both because she might miss her period due to the stress of traveling/trying something new and because odds are her period just won't fall during that time.
At any rate, the only suggestion I'd add to the already good advice here is to find a section that has a lot of privies. Since she's used to dealing with her period in the restroom, having a seat and four walls will likely add significantly to her comfort level. You might also find a section that has a few bailout points in case (even irrespective of her period) she decides that section hiking isn't for her. You can find a place with a convenient lodging option and just do day-hikes for the rest of the time.
In my mind, nothing beats a diva cup for dealing with a period while hiking. But I've heard that those are fairly uncomfortable until one's hymen has been broken.
Kneegrinder
07-06-2009, 14:46
Thanks for all the good advice. As it turns out my daughter did have her period on our hike (we went ahead anyway as we were in the area after pickup at spend the night camp). Her mother had had a good conversation with her before the hike and she apparently also discussed this with the older counselors at camp who were experienced in this. Anyway, she was prepared and was a trooper. She was also able to acknowledge what was going on with me which impressed me.
Overall, a great trip.
Kneegrinder
LaurieAnn
07-07-2009, 12:58
I love my Diva Cup, too, but I had enough trouble with tampons at that age, never mind a CUP! She may not be ready for that.
One thing you could try first is to take her out on a day hike when she has her period. That way, she can see if the pads are comfortable enough, how the cramps feel while walking, etc. Then, maybe mom could talk to her afterward and see if either there's a solution to any of the issues, or if she'd prefer to just postpone an overnight until after her period.
Good luck!
The Diva Cup comes in a smaller size for women under 30 who have never had children. This is perfect for younger girls. It really is a brilliant product and if her Mom likes I can put her in touch with the owners of the Diva company. They were absolutely wonderful with my young niece. I'd be willing to talk with Mom about my experiences as well (via phone or email - just pm me).
While it takes a day or two to get used to emptying it's a heck of a lot less embarrassing than dealing with pads in the backcountry. Risks of things like TSS are greatly reduced (eliminated) and it sits much lower than a tampon.
Also, here is my article on the product...
http://www.outdooradventurecanada.com/outdoorgirl-v2-1.htm
LaurieAnn
07-07-2009, 12:59
I forgot to mention... a Diva Cup is different than a tampon because it doesn't affect the internal moisture and with that in mind it can actually be used when menstruation is expected even if it hasn't started yet.
ShoelessWanderer
07-29-2009, 16:11
Finally, packing a spare pair of her shorts and undies in your pack might come in handy if it starts unexpectedly while she's out there. She might be embarrassed if you suggest to her to carry them, but she'll sure be grateful if you happen to have them in your pack should they be needed.
I don't think you even have to make that about having her period. Just tell it's a good idea to have an extra change of clothes on the trail anyways, you know, in case she falls in a creek or something ;).
Thanks for all the good advice. As it turns out my daughter did have her period on our hike (we went ahead anyway as we were in the area after pickup at spend the night camp). Her mother had had a good conversation with her before the hike and she apparently also discussed this with the older counselors at camp who were experienced in this. Anyway, she was prepared and was a trooper. She was also able to acknowledge what was going on with me which impressed me.
Overall, a great trip.
Kneegrinder
Awesome. :cool:
Well done parents!
Asked your wife about help. It is the female bussines:-?
Jayboflavin04
08-20-2009, 11:41
Glad to hear things went smoothly on your hike!
I've hiked hundreds of miles with my teenage daughter, and have found the best solution is to be as open, and natural, about this as possible. Don't make a big deal about it, just remind them to pack for the possible alternative of her period. Give her lots of privacy, particularly if she's a private person. Defend her privacy when around other hikers. (Defend her around bothersome young men, too, by the way.) I found that our trust of each other in the "private times" was one of the most treasured elements of our hike.
My daughter deals with this issue just like she does at home, and she's been using the Cat Hole disposal method... not endorsed by many of the women on White Blaze, by the way. I leave that up to her. Don't make a big deal about it, and enjoy your time together. She'll be more relaxed that way.
*Monkey*
10-21-2009, 18:52
Concerned dads could give mom a copy of this article to pass along to their daughters:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Hike-During-Your-Period
Good luck!
ShoelessWanderer
10-22-2009, 13:17
Concerned dads could give mom a copy of this article to pass along to their daughters:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Hike-During-Your-Period
Good luck!
What a great article! I'm posting it on my hiking groups page for all our newbie female backpackers.
ShoelessWanderer
10-22-2009, 13:18
Asked your wife about help. It is the female bussines:-?
May be female business, but, if the wife isn't around (like on the trail) Dad needs to be ready to deal with it.
ShelterLeopard
10-22-2009, 13:36
I've been section hiking for a number of years with my son and my younger daughter wants to do a short section with me this summer. She now has her period which is relatively new to her and is concerned that she will have it when our hike is planned.
I know about packing in and packing out but this is something she has only discussed with my wife and apparently doesn't want to raise with me. How can we get her not to worry about it and avoid the awkwardness of addressing with her father?
Any advice?
Kneegrinder
I haven't read the other posts, so I'll probably repeat some of what has been said. First of all, it really sucks (I never say "sucks" because I don't like the word, except for talking about this) to have your period on trail. But, it always does, on or off trail.
First- I know you really want to hear about how to address the issue about talking with her, but about paking out- she should use a brown paper bag, inside a thick double ziploc bag, inside another thick double ziploc. The brown paper bag is there to basically make it not such a visually disgusting site.
Second- when I was younger (until I got more comfortable with my period), I was pretty much mortified talking with female members of my family about it. But that's because it was a new thing to me. Honestly, it depends on the relationship you have now with your daughter. If you're very comfortable talking about everything, then just bring up the subject of her period on trail, and go with her reaction.
Rhapsodist
10-25-2009, 19:57
I work at a coed summer camp and the funniest thing that ever happened was when my coworker Pete FREAKED OUT because we had seven girls on their periods at the same time without a means of disposal. It really isn't a big deal. If you had a cut and bandaged the wound you would carry out the first aid materials you used. Give her a couple small plastic bags that she can carry herself. That way she doesn't have to tell you about it if she doesn't want to. Wet-wipes are also important for maintaining hygiene during that time of the month. She'll be infinitely more embarrassed if she gets toxic shock syndrome or an infection from not taking care of herself.
I know it is awkward, but try to talk to her about it before hand. Nothing graphic, just say that you'll be understanding of her moods or fatigue. It's totally natural and she should be proud of her new womanly status.
As a teen, I used to travel on the road with my dad during the summer. He is a truck driver and I was always scared that I would get my period on the road. It only happened a couple of times. I realize that this is so small in comparison, but I can totally imagine how she might be worried about it. I would let mom prepare her for this.
She might want to check out the Diva Cup. Could be a good option. I wish I would have had it when I was younger.