So that's what you do with bear spray...

[sylvia_claire]

I know, not my own story but I had to post it

from notalwaysright.com

Yogi Says Yum To Spicy Humans (http://notalwaysright.com/yogi-says-yum-to-spicy-humans/2011)

Outdoor Supply Store | Edmonton, AB, Canada
(Note: Bear spray is basically just pepper spray that you use if you are attacked by a bear.)
Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [outdoor supply store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, um…I bought some bear spray from you earlier today and now my skin is burning.”
Me: “Your skin is burning? Did the bear spray come into contact with your skin?”
Customer: “Of course! I sprayed it all over myself!”
Me: “Did you read the instructions?”
Customer: “No, I thought it was like bug spray.”
Me: “Sir, you’re not supposed to spray it on your skin. You’re supposed to spray it in the bear’s eyes. You should probably go take a shower.”
Customer: “So I can’t repel the bears by putting bear spray on my skin?”
Me: “No, sir…are you sure bear country is the right place for you?

[jrwiesz]

Better make that call to Mr. Obvious!:D

[sylvia_claire]

another good one

Unbearably Bad Ideas (http://notalwaysright.com/unbearably-bad-ideas/1875)

Resort | Jasper, AB, Canada
(Note: I worked in a resort over the summer as a concierge.)
Tourist: “Can we see any wildlife in the area, you know, by the side of the road?”
Me: “Sure, we routinely see elk, deer, mountain goats and bighorn sheep. I’ve seen a couple wolves too, and we get a lot of bears.”
Tourist: “Oh! Can we feed the bears?”
Me: “No, sir, the bears are wild bears. They are extremely dangerous and you should never approach any wild animal. Just stay in your car, with the windows up, and you’ll be fine.”
Tourist: “Oh… can we send our kids to play with the bears?”
Me: “That would be ‘feeding the bears,’ sir…”

[Bearpaw]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v425/bearpawat99/misc/bearwarning.jpg

[saimyoji]

from japan:

http://www.cuhkacs.org/~benng/Bo-Blog/up/bear0.jpg

[Doctari]

OK, true story:

I was beginning a hike in the smokies, & had stopped in the Elkmont ranger station to fill out my permit. I knew the ranger from previous visits so we chatted a while.

Soon, in came a touron from the campground:
"A bear stole all of our food last night!!"
Ranger: "where was your food sir?" (the "Lock all food away securly" sign, one of many at the campground, was directly behind the ranger, in plain view)
touron: "We left it on the picnic table! Why?
Ranger, who had been looking for something to write on: "that will be a $65.00 fine for feeding the bears,,,,,, Sir." as he handed the guest a ticket.
Ill not repete what the touron said, this is a family forum.

I had to flee to keep from laughing! I made it about 10 feet from the door outside & LOST IT! :p