View Full Version : Stupidest thing you've seen someone cook in a fire?
I took some of the gap year kids I was responsible for out into a beautiful spot in the jungle for a weekend break from their teaching responsibilities. I went down to the river to collect water for our dinner and came back to find two of the girls had some pretty nasty burns.
They had put jelly babies (soft, very sugary candy in a baby shape) on the end of a stick and heated them like marshmallows. The candy quickly boiled, bubbled and the candy lost its shape. It didn't stop them from trying to eat them and the scalding candy burnt one girls lips and another's hands quite badly.
They were pretty sheepish as I treated them - one of them was a 24.
What's the stupidest thing you've seen someone try to cook in a fire?
Jelly babies:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_rzpGu281AOg/Svd0Vxi7bmI/AAAAAAAAAtg/edN0r5QKIKA/s400/jelly+babies.jpg
I know of someone who's marshmallow caught fire and the decided to shake the stick to put it out. It flung off the stick and landed on someone else giving them severe burns.
one time, long ago and far away,
irate hikers who were ignored when they said "Hey!! it's past hiker midnight!!" had the the guy who said "screw you! You annoy me!!" ROASTING over the large bonfire he had started on a spit. there was very little fat dripping into the flames.
<G>
Their boots. They couldn't understand why their soles melted off.
Two Speed
01-07-2010, 09:10
So how did the boots taste without the soles? Always wondered about that.
Beer.
(Once seen at Peters Mountain Shelter in PA, some weekend guys had carried in cases of beer, thinking that was easier than going to the spring. It was 3* that night and their beer froze. Rather than going to the spring - no steps in the snow - they tried to build a fire to thaw their beer. Several cans had exploded by the time we passed around lunchtime.)
mweinstone
01-07-2010, 09:19
turkey from the pa state turkey artery hardning farm. the old neys shelter outside port clinton. turkeys were kept fenced into a state game track posted "turkey hardening area."they were used for reasearch on hardened arterys and were grown well beyond normal size. someone left one butchered but not plucked on a spit verticaly on a fire, witch was out. it was about a 40 lb bird. cooked but not ate.
Shiraz-mataz
01-07-2010, 09:33
I watched a teenager heat a tea kettle with a plastic handle directly over a fire. He didn't listen to our warnings that plastic melts... He then proceeded to burn his hands while retrieving the pot from the fire but kept insisting it didn't hurt!
So how did the boots taste without the soles? Always wondered about that.
I heard it was a bit nutty...
My uncle raises pigs from time to time. The last time he brought me some bacon and a ham and the head:eek: Well the head sat in the freezer for a few months. Later in the year a few of my cousins and I went on a camping trip and I brought the frozen pig head. On the third night we roasted the pig head over the campfire. Man that was funny looking but some of the pig face was pretty decent to eat.
Gray Blazer
01-07-2010, 11:12
We cook manatees down here in FL. Tastes just like Bald Eagle. Yum!
Jester2000
01-07-2010, 11:18
Boots and socks.
Toolshed
01-07-2010, 11:30
An idiot drunk ovenighter college boy once trying to replicate the boyscout trick of boiling water over a fire in a paper cup.
He tried 4-5 times with a styrofoam cup before he gave up and went back to his beer..
An idiot drunk ovenighter college boy once trying to replicate the boyscout trick of boiling water over a fire in a paper cup.
He tried 4-5 times with a styrofoam cup before he gave up and went back to his beer..
I always hated that stupid trick. Even when you use a paper cup and it works, the top part of the cup burns and the ashes fall in the water. You can use the water if you had to, but why would you unless it was a survival situation? And EVERY year they show it over and over again like it's a magic trick.
Hikes in Rain
01-07-2010, 12:53
We cook manatees down here in FL. Tastes just like Bald Eagle. Yum!
And all the fat dripping into the fire really gives it a wonderful, smoky taste, doesn't it? I just love it!
As cold as it is right now, they're easy to catch. They're all congregated around the outfalls for the heat!
ShelterLeopard
01-07-2010, 13:03
Boots and socks- people never believe me when I say that their boots will dry farther away from the fire. They need instant gratification- the look on their faces when they see the smoke (not steam) is pretty priceless.
I'm waiting for someone to come up with as clueless as the woman who tried drying her little dog in the microwave (this dates back to the days when most folks had no idea how they worked). This may be one of those urban myths, though. I heard that the woman had a heart attack upon seeing the results of her action and died.
Jack Tarlin
01-07-2010, 13:55
I saw a guy on Springer Mt. pumpimg up his Whisperlite around 50 times. I tried very respectfully to point out that he was probably over-doing it, and he took great umbrage at this, telling me in no uncertain terms to mind my own business.
So I backed up and watched him prime and light the thing, which resulted in an immense fireball that, among other things, removed his eyebrows and a big chunk of hair, but no other damage. The pump, fittings, in fact anything plastic, however, was a melted down mess.
The answer to the question, then, is that the most unusual thing I've seen cooking in a fire is Whisperlite stove.
Jester2000
01-07-2010, 14:51
Jack's post reminded me of the time I burnt off my eyebrow, half of my beard and my chest hair, destroyed Mala's Coleman lantern, double burner stove, bakebox, and tent, and nearly killed four people.
It was an eventful night. Mala no longer lets me go near any of his stuff.
I'm waiting for someone to come up with as clueless as the woman who tried drying her little dog in the microwave (this dates back to the days when most folks had no idea how they worked). This may be one of those urban myths, though. I heard that the woman had a heart attack upon seeing the results of her action and died.
I've tried drying dish rags and nalgene bottles in the microwave. Usually it works, but I've had a couple go badly.
I guess the stupidest thing I've seen cooking in a fire was a dog. The dog belonged to my aunt. It kept chewing up my uncle's boots, so he ate the dog. I had a piece too.
turkey from the pa state turkey artery hardning farm. the old neys shelter outside port clinton. turkeys were kept fenced into a state game track posted "turkey hardening area."they were used for reasearch on hardened arterys and were grown well beyond normal size. someone left one butchered but not plucked on a spit verticaly on a fire, witch was out. it was about a 40 lb bird. cooked but not ate.
You. Cooking your rain pants. Without taking them off. And without sauce.
double d
01-07-2010, 15:00
My uncle raises pigs from time to time. The last time he brought me some bacon and a ham and the head:eek: Well the head sat in the freezer for a few months. Later in the year a few of my cousins and I went on a camping trip and I brought the frozen pig head. On the third night we roasted the pig head over the campfire. Man that was funny looking but some of the pig face was pretty decent to eat.
How much moonshine did you drink before digging into mrs. piggys face???:eek::eek::eek: Great story!
Beer.
(Once seen at Peters Mountain Shelter in PA, some weekend guys had carried in cases of beer, thinking that was easier than going to the spring. It was 3* that night and their beer froze. Rather than going to the spring - no steps in the snow - they tried to build a fire to thaw their beer. Several cans had exploded by the time we passed around lunchtime.)
That's my vote for best one.
Jester2000
01-07-2010, 15:06
Jack's post reminded me of the time I burnt off my eyebrow, half of my beard and my chest hair, destroyed Mala's Coleman lantern, double burner stove, bakebox, and tent, and nearly killed four people.
It was an eventful night. Mala no longer lets me go near any of his stuff.
You. Cooking your rain pants. Without taking them off. And without sauce.
Bfitz was one of the people I could have killed that night.
How much moonshine did you drink before digging into mrs. piggys face???:eek::eek::eek: Great story!
None we where just that hungry. The best of the meat came from below the eyes. Plus the tounge was pretty good also
ShelterLeopard
01-07-2010, 15:38
Jack's post reminded me of the time I burnt off my eyebrow, half of my beard and my chest hair, destroyed Mala's Coleman lantern, double burner stove, bakebox, and tent, and nearly killed four people.
It was an eventful night. Mala no longer lets me go near any of his stuff.
One time about 4 or 5 years ago, I was making an alcohol stove, and I had this 3/4 full bottle of rubbing alcohol/ethyl alc. whatever, and it hadn't been opened for a very long time. Well, I opened the bottle, and for some bizarre reason was holding a match right next to the opening (for the life of me, I can't remember how I ended up doing that), and it lit the fumes, and it was like a blow torch! I nearly lit my friend's hair on fire...
CrumbSnatcher
01-07-2010, 15:55
didn't read the thread but i would say ''plastic'' or ''cans''
just so the lazy bastards didn't have to carry it out!
A weekend hiker threw several lithium batteries in a shelter fireplace in the Smokies. Things got quite exciting as they "cooked"!
My uncle raises pigs from time to time. The last time he brought me some bacon and a ham and the head:eek: Well the head sat in the freezer for a few months. Later in the year a few of my cousins and I went on a camping trip and I brought the frozen pig head. On the third night we roasted the pig head over the campfire. Man that was funny looking but some of the pig face was pretty decent to eat.
the "face" has some awesome meat. IIRC, feijoada (brazilian dish) was historically made with a pig's face. They have them at the public market here. I don not think my wife would let me bring it into the house if I bought one though.
We cook manatees down here in FL. Tastes just like Bald Eagle. Yum!
I definitely wouldn't eat a manatee after seeing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsyoa8TUgoY
Jester2000
01-07-2010, 17:45
the "face" has some awesome meat. IIRC, feijoada (brazilian dish) was historically made with a pig's face. They have them at the public market here. I don not think my wife would let me bring it into the house if I bought one though.
In 2008 at the Billville Feed in Duncannon the hikers ate the pigs head.
Gray Blazer
01-07-2010, 18:56
I definitely wouldn't eat a manatee after seeing this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsyoa8TUgoY
Reminds me of the two guys who walked by a dog who was doing the same thing. One guy said, "I wish I could do that." The other guy replied, "If you ask him, maybe he'll let you."
That's my vote for best one.
There's even evidence (http://erickpanger.com/atsection09/album/slides/ATSectionHike-09_17.html) it happened...
A weekend hiker threw several lithium batteries in a shelter fireplace in the Smokies. Things got quite exciting as they "cooked"!
i haven't done that yet. what happens?
Bfitz was one of the people I could have killed that night.If only you had. I had to ride into town with mala the next morning. And a baby was conceived obliviously not ten feet away. Funny the closest I've come to death by fire was in the middle of a deluge. Good times good times.
Live the Journey
01-07-2010, 21:54
In the Shennies right around the 4th of July this past year, a very sweet very young thruhiker had hitched out of the park to pick up a maildrop...low on money he figured he'd carry everything his mom had sent him...which was quite a lot! When I got to the shelter he had his big old Priority box (that he'd been carrying in his arms since the road) unloaded on the picnic table. One of the items was a 2 pound vacuum sealed bag of cured country ham...which he proceeded to cook in his titanium cook pot the next morning for breakfast...and eat ALL 2 pounds of ham in one sitting....I know that doesn't sound so bad...but this stuff was so salty, I was amazed...watching this skinny kid in awe as he ate so much ham...until I realized he was pouring all the ham fat out of his cookpot and onto the fire ring rocks! With as many bears as I saw in that park, I felt so bad for the people who stayed there for the next bit of time...I'm sure they saw more then their usual numbers of critters...I wrote a warning in the shelter log and gave the kid a polite talking to, but he swore that the heat from the fire would cook all the fat off...right!
Also, I'm guilty of burning a hole in one of my favorite socks on a fire at the bald mountain shelter = p
I saw a guy on Springer Mt. pumpimg up his Whisperlite around 50 times. I tried very respectfully to point out that he was probably over-doing it, and he took great umbrage at this, telling me in no uncertain terms to mind my own business.
So I backed up and watched him prime and light the thing, which resulted in an immense fireball that, among other things, removed his eyebrows and a big chunk of hair, but no other damage. The pump, fittings, in fact anything plastic, however, was a melted down mess.
The answer to the question, then, is that the most unusual thing I've seen cooking in a fire is Whisperlite stove.
A wry smile must have appeared on your face as that happened?!
Jack Tarlin
01-08-2010, 12:36
Yes. This is true. I laughed my ass off.
Also, Jester's story is true as well, and I'm glad that he recalls that Bfitz was one of the fine people he almost incinerated that memorable evening.
But so was I!!
At least I got outta there in better shape than Jester's beard, which was, in truth, not looking much worse AFTER the fire than before it.
I guess the stupidest thing I've seen cooking in a fire was a dog. The dog belonged to my aunt. It kept chewing up my uncle's boots, so he ate the dog. I had a piece too.
you americans just don't know good food when u see it.
you americans just don't know good food when u see it.
My uncle isn't American...
Buzz_Lightfoot
01-08-2010, 13:02
Nalgene bottle. It was frozen in the moring, Tried to thaw by a fire. Was too close. Can you say "Baked Alaska"?
Butane lighter. This one was on purpose. I had a nearly-empty butane lighter and a brand new one. When the nearly empty one finally made too-small a flame... "Say lets throw it in the fire and see what happens!" It was a fairly impressive "boom" for something 'empty'. I looked at my friend and said "I wonder what a FULL one would do?" I put it in the middle and quickly retreated. BOOM! We were there for hours before this. We had a 3+ foot diamater fire with a good bed of hot coals from down, dead oak logs. It blew the fire out.
By the way it was 5 degrees out that night.
Yes, alcohol was involved.
BL
Wise Old Owl
01-08-2010, 13:22
My uncle raises pigs from time to time. The last time he brought me some bacon and a ham and the head:eek: Well the head sat in the freezer for a few months. Later in the year a few of my cousins and I went on a camping trip and I brought the frozen pig head. On the third night we roasted the pig head over the campfire. Man that was funny looking but some of the pig face was pretty decent to eat.
WE HAVE A WINNER FOLKS! AND HE'S FROM TENNESEE.....:D
Talk about forfilling stereotypes.... wow.... I wish we had pictures and I mean that in a good way.
gunner76
01-09-2010, 19:49
Black dogs taste best
WE HAVE A WINNER FOLKS! AND HE'S FROM TENNESEE.....:D
Thank ya now what did win :eek::p:D
Wise Old Owl
01-09-2010, 20:54
Life and a big box of chocolate....
cindellasaurus
01-09-2010, 21:05
An idiot drunk ovenighter college boy once trying to replicate the boyscout trick of boiling water over a fire in a paper cup.
He tried 4-5 times with a styrofoam cup before he gave up and went back to his beer..
Haha! Funny thing is, it's possible. We did it in AP Chemistry..
The stupidest thing I've ever seen? A can of beans (unopened).
I was camping with a friend and her family when we heard a loud bang! The people camping across from us began laughing and one walked over and said "we blew up tha can a' beans, guess we was supposed ta open it firs.!" We eventually began referring to them as "The Hills Have Eyes." They also liked to engage in activities such as stalling their ancient blue truck on a garbage run (mind you, the garbage disposal was all of 70 feet from where they were camping) and attempting to feed a fellow camper's parrot the food that had hardened on their clothes during the week, yumyum!:p
Baltimore Jack cooking, (burning flaming sauasages at the Saphire Inn during Ron Havens April bash.
I once witnessed someone trying to cook their alcohol, as in denatured alcohol. They lit their little alky stove first, set their pot on the flame, then accidentally picked up their alcohol bottle instead of their water bottle. Talk about a fireball!!! Some of the alcohol landed on their leg and I watched this torch coming off her leg as she ran around trying to put it out. No damage, but she didn't have to shave her legs for a week. She no longer keeps her fuel in a nalgene.
One chilly October several decades ago we climbed Old Speck and was heading to Gorham, NH via the Mahoosuc Range. We crawled through the notch in a heavy snow. At the Full Goose Shelter I tried to dry my synthetic socks next to the fire. It worked for one sock. But the second was a bit closer to the flames. It didn't burn. The toe just melted. Since then I've used only wool. Yeah, I know. Wool also burns, but it has the advantage of smelling a bit first as a warning.
Weary
Dances with Mice
01-10-2010, 11:34
A car bumper.
On a portion of the Duncan Ridge Trail in Georgia between, oh who cares, a road parallels the ridge and intersects the trail at frequent intervals. At a clearing near one of those intersections someone built a big-axe bonfire and cooked a car bumper. I first saw it about 10 years ago, it wasn't new then and remnants of it are still there today.
Why someone would haul a car bumper into the middle of nowhere and go through all the trouble to burn it is left to the reader's imagination but I imagine some sort of evidence was being destroyed. That area produces a lot of questions best left unanswered.
This summer the GATC rebuilt a couple miles of the DRT and I had to provide directions. That area made a good access point so "Burnt Bumper Gap" was christened.
Surplusman
01-11-2010, 05:49
Many moons ago, in the late 1950's, my Scout Troop took a hike, and one kid brought along a 12" cast-iron frying pan and a large can of pork & beans. When lunchtime came he got his fire going but realized he forgot to bring along a can opener. Why he never asked if anyone else had one is still a mystery. So he put the sealed can in the frying pan on the fire. In a few minutes we heard a muffled pop and suddenly it was raining beans from a clear blue sky.
Doooglas
01-11-2010, 08:01
I win !
I dated a bimbo back in the seventies.........OK...... I dated bimbo'z my whole life.:o
Anyway. It was 25 degrees or so and said BIMBO had a can of hair spray, yeah, it was the Farrah Daze, that wouldn't spray.........:-? I SAID it was the seventies.:D
She put it close to the fire.:eek:
Figure out the rest.
HINT
If it happened today, the Dumbpartment of Homelessland Insecurity would have helicopters on site.
Jack Tarlin
01-11-2010, 18:58
And how long have you guys been married? :D
rjridgely
01-11-2010, 19:06
Lexan bowl
Wise Old Owl
01-16-2010, 23:09
I told my adhd son years ago to stay out of the fire circle because it was dirty... before I had a chance to collect firewood I turned around to see him playing in the middle........
Chicken Feathers
01-17-2010, 15:50
After walking in rain all day I saw a hiker put his boot next to the fire to dry an forgot to keep an eye on them the next thing he knew they were smoking on fire
a can of beans they threw the can in the fire and when they attempt to open the steam burn their face ouch and their pants hit the ground
guitboxdude25
01-22-2010, 18:04
This was a newbie move, I met this girl hiking and we set up camp about 7-10 miles into the smokies. We built a fire and started cooking. I couple gave me a can of deviled ham, but it was sealed shut and I had to have a can opener....NOT. I put the can in the fire, hoping that it would just pop the can open. It blew up. everywhere. The girl i was with had ham everywhere. We were in bear country. It even hurt her eyes pretty bad. She left the trail the next day. luckily no bears came by that night.
SurferNerd
01-22-2010, 18:10
I remember my first time on the AT, with my boy scout troop. It wasn't necessarily cooking over a fire, but rather putting in the fire. We included tinactin and bug spray cans. OMG, did they ever explode with such awesome force. That's my funny campfire story beyond another scout setting his tent ablaze from embers.