I am about to embark on a dangerous journey. I hope to use this Mini-Forum as a journal for my trip through this "Dangerous Side Trail" for the next several months. WhiteBlaze is very user friendly and I think it will let anyone view the "Forums". This will make it easy for a lot of my friends to keep up with my journey. WhiteBlaze will also introduce some of my non-hiking friends to the world of backpacking and the AT.

Like the Donner Party that got a late start heading West many years ago I may have also gotten a late start on my journey. I have been making much of my own backpacking gear over the last year or so with the intent of trying some winter AT hiking next year (2005) and maybe an AT Thru-Hike going North starting about the 1st of April 2005 and trying to end on my birthday in August.

For reasons I don't really understand I never have used tobacco products but over the last 9 years I have had several cancer tumors removed, one from the right side of my tongue 9 years ago and 7 times from my bladder since 1998.

On the 18th of September I found a lump on the left side of my throat. I am not happy with the progress of the lump and what I feel is the late detection of it. Over the weeks that followed it tested out as cancer and there was also a spot at the back of my throat on the inside of my mouth. I am now about to start 7 to 8 weeks of Radiation and Chemotherapy. For Radiation in the mouth/throat all my teeth had to go. This was a sad moment as I had tried to take good care of them for many years. I have found a food blender to now be very important in my food prep. I turn everything to a creamy state that saves the taste and lets me eat anything I want. This I expect to change as I get into the treatment. To prepare for the time eating by mouth gets hard to do I am having a feeding tube put into my stomack on Tuesday this week. This tube or another may stay in me for a long time.

The Radiation and the first Chemotherapy should start this Wednesday. The Chemo is on day 1, day 22 and day 44. From what I have been told the Chemo will kick my butt for a few days so I will be on an IV in case I have a real bad time of it. This is also why the feeding tube is so important. About 2 weeks ago I was told to try and gain some weight but that isn't as easy as it sounds. I have gained a few pounds and have been drinking a special form of Ensure that is loaded with nutrition and stuff made for people with cancer. Some of what I will be taking also comes in a powder form (think hiking) and as my strength returns I should be able to use the powder stuff for short hikes even if I still have the feeding tube in me. It connects to my stomack through my side. The time line for the treatment to play out could be up to a year or forever.

My hope is that sometime after the Radiation and Chemo is over I can regain enough strength to at least get back into the woods for some short hikes. Then instead of climbing Katahdin on my birthday in August this year (65 years old) at the end of a NOBO Thru-hike I might be able to climb Katahdin in August at the beginning of a SOBO Thru-hike. Recovery and the time line for it is a very big unknow but I need a goal to push for.

I hope to keep a journal of how I feel and what I am doing. I would hope that it will always sound positive. I am sure there will be days when I am wiped out, that is OK. I don't want sympathy, but if I start to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself you have my permission to "kick my butt back to reality" verballty that is.

I know I am not the first person to under go something like this but it is MY first time. I hope I can demostrate that there is still hiking after the fact and going through something like this has some positive outcome. I have already found one new material that might be useful as a part of one of my ultra-light external pack frames.

If WhiteBlaze thinks this is not an appropriate topic and wants to remove it I will understand.

Thanks for putting up this corageous post. I think it will be important to keep your WhiteBlaze entries focused on hiking and the hiking community, rather than using this venue to focus on your treatments and the dangers of this side trail. I have gone back and looked at many of your previous posts, and I think they have made valuable contributions, especially in the area of new equipment designs, fabrics and other materials, etc. You will be going through some rough times to be sure, but they do not fully define your life. Yes, be honest about what is happening and how you are feeling; and I hope you will continue to be just as forthcoming about hiking gear, your experiences as a hiker, trips you are planning, so that the WhiteBlaze community can have some point of contact with you other than your treatment process. Of course I do not speak for anyone other than myself. Best wishes on your journey!

I hope I can demostrate that there is still hiking after the fact and going through something like this has some positive outcome.

There is hiking after the fact. I just hiked an overnighter with a woman who survived colon cancer. She went through the chemo and radiation too.

Gardenville, appropiately enough, on Friday the 13th of 1998 I was informed I had small cell lung cancer with the possibility of surviving put at about 10/15 %. After forty doses of radiation and three months of chemo I started the waiting game. It took me almost two years to get back to carrying a backpack without stopping to rest every 100 feet! , but I'm here to tell you that recovery does happen and a positive attitude will be your greatest weapon in what you are facing. The fact that you are already planning on how you can hike with a feeding tube shows you won't have any problem with the positive attitude. Never give up!

I want to thank you all for taking some time to reply to my post. I appreciate them all.

To Brushy Sage, I agree with everything you say however if I am doing something that helps speed my recovery or lessons the negative effect of my treatment so my recovery is quicker I think that should be worth talking about. Not a lot but worth a mention. As far as staying on-topic with making hiking gear ETC I am looking at the nice steel Ensure food cans for a stove design. It doesn't have to be the best alcohol stove ever made just work as well as my old Trangia. I should have a couple 100 empty cans by the time this is all over. I might add that I have been to and through Asheville many times. As a sometime Potter I have bought clay from Highwater Clay down near the river since 1985.

To Lilredmg, thanks for the information about your friend and colon cancer survivor/hiker.

To Lugnut, Looking back do you think there was anything you could have done to help you get back into the woods sooner. If I have to start back stopping every 100 feet that will be Ok but I expect I will have to get more memory sticks for my digital camera.

Maybe this is the reason I started making light to ultra-light backpacking gear.

I might add that I have been to and through Asheville many times. As a sometime Potter I have bought clay from Highwater Clay down near the river since 1985.




Let me know when you're coming to Asheville again; will enjoy meeting you.

[QUOTE=gardenville].

Looking back do you think there was anything you could have done to help you get back into the woods sooner. If I have to start back stopping every 100 feet that will be Ok but I expect I will have to get more memory sticks for my digital camera.



First off, let me emphasize that I didn't mention my experience to gain any sympathy; it's not about me. It is about hope and I only talk about it when I see the opportunity to lift someone up with an example of a positive outcome.
To answer your question: No, I can't think of anything I could have done to hasten my getting back on the trail. I started out with short walks of a block or so and worked my way up from there. I had some residual effects from nerve damage due to chemo which left me with numb feet and fingers for about a year. However, I remain to this day a numbskull, which had nothing to do with my treatment. :D I think being an "optomistic contrarian" is the best route.

ya gotta just keep on rocking,,

never be afraid to re-invent yourself, during my time living in the AIDS hospicve some of the folks would complian about and my complianing and griping about doc's and and the system....that I should just "be grateful"


but in the end it seems that my complaining did a lot of good (for myself and others),,,I think it is what kept and keeps me alive,

so I'm agree with lugnut,,"optomistic contrarian" approach can work, I see it as pro-active, you must demand good treatment from your docs and take an active role in your theraputic decisions,

the mental aspects of recovery are of vital importance,,,you gotta want it,
it;s a long hike of just putting on foot in front of the other, it a journey of learning and then re-inventing yourself and your expectation of what life is.

Gardenville, I hope I didn't sound too pompous in my earlier response to your post; sometimes I take myself too seriously. I agree with SmokymtnSteve about the importance of staying in charge. As a hospital chaplain I observed that those people who remain vocal and actively involved tend to go home sooner than those who remain passive and submissive.

don't know you, but i just want to say i wish you the best of fortune & success in fighting this nasty affliction. we've got a fair bit of cancer in my family & my odds for it increase with every new diagnosis (so far we have breast, oral, uterine & melanoma). be tough and think constantly about those cancer cells shriveling up & dying. dunno if you're a religious man but whether you are or not i'll add you to my prayers. remember, people beat this stuff!

I agree that I must stay on top of what is planned and make sure it is MY best interest. I get my feeding tube put in my side on Tuesday. At first "the plan" was to start the Chemo and Radiation Friday and I just said "NO" feeding tube first in case I have a problem eating. I can't take a chance on loseing a bunch of weight at this point. The Doc looked at me and said whos is in charge here, I said WE are. He sees every delay one day longer the cancer is having its way. He did agree they would go with my wishes.

I checked into what is called an Extended Care Center this morning and I am on pass for a couple of hours. This may be my last chance to be on a computer for a few days.

Thanks for all the comments and I will try and keep this relevent to the hiking community. The Radiation Center is about 2 miles from where I will be staying and I hope I can "Hike" back some days. There are a lot of trees in this area and it is pretty for being in the city.

dunno if you're a religious man but whether you are or not i'll add you to my prayers. remember, people beat this stuff!

Pray in my life is a positive thing and I thank you for adding me to yours.