Kids, marriage, ohhhh my

[johnnybgood]

I'm sure you still count yourself lucky that your wife will join you for short sections when you thru. My wife's health will prevent her from doing this if and when I do long distances hikes during retirement. Maybe she can meet me at road crossings in a motor home? For now, she supports (and shuttles) me when I do section hiking when her health permits.

This pretty much sums up my situation as well. My wife suffered a debilitating stroke in 2012 that limits her mobility, so we only do easy short hikes together
She has been my shuttle option on occasion when I want to do longer day hikes which allows her to be involved in my hiking plans.

I do believe that one can strike a mutual balance between family and hiking , both add joy and are equally rewarding.

[Sweetgreen]

I'm sure there are as many answers to this question, as there are people on this site. My husband and I are both avid hikers, and we discovered our love for backpacking/long distant hiking together. We were planning to hike the AT section through GSMNP this summer, but have recently discovered that we will be adding another member to our family soon. My reason for commenting, is that I'm astounded by the number of people who have told us that our backpacking days are over, and that we might as well give up on any section hike goals we had planned over the next couple of years. I say, IT'S ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. And I am so thankful for websites like this one. Regardless of our different circumstances, and backgrounds, we understand the slight (or not so slight) way the AT can tug at your heart strings until you find yourself directly upon it.

Who knows, maybe our future kids will take their first steps on the AT...talk about leaving a legacy to the next generation.

[Theosus]

My kid hates being out of sight of the car, my wife hates hiking in any form. My fault - I sort of picked this hobby up when she badgered me enough to quit my goal of building and flying my own ultralight. Then she badgered me out of storm chasing. So hiking is the next hobby she hates and will likely try to get me to quit.

I love my kid, and my wife and I have had some fun times... but being a single hiker would have been so much easier. However, I probably wouldn't have picked this hobby back then, since I had a few others.

[Slo-go'en]

It must be the title of this thread that only married people with kids have commented. Except for me. I always thought I was exceptional

[Papa D]

i am married and have an 8 year old. I have a very, very exceptional and unique and permissive family. They let me hike for weeks on end. About 4 weeks is as long as I have hiked (the long trail in 2010) since I've had a kid. Now that she is getting older, they can chase me down and run-re-supply and I could probably go for that long again or longer. The problem is twofold thought: 1) I end up missing them and 2) work. But I'm pretty fast and can do 100 mile + weeks (on the AT) so a 2-week trip can buy be at least 200 miles - - that's not bad for a married guy. I'm pretty lucky. When my daughter is about 14 or 15, she'll surely think that I'm totally un-cool (she's already about there) and that's when another thru-hike could occur. They could also chase me down several times for a zero day here and there during that potential summer.

[HighLiner]

Family is why I can only section hike. But that's OK as it keeps this AT adventure/dream ongoing for several years. My youngest will be doing the 100 mile wilderness with me later this year! What a memorable treat that will be.

[ams212001]

It must be the title of this thread that only married people with kids have commented. Except for me. I always thought I was exceptional

Ha! It is great to see so many married people who have incorporated hiking into their families lifestyle. This shows the character of the person/family. So many people barely do anything as a family together much less adventures that include not showering and sweating.

I do wonder how people who mainly hike incorporate community and family into their lifestyle as well?

[ams212001]

Some balance it this way:

http://www.backpackinglight.com/cgi-...as-jordan.html

I enjoyed this article a lot! Thank you for sharing!

I love my family and don't think my life would be nearly as enriched if it weren't for them. Of course, that's just my situation. I think if I hadn't met my wife and had a family I would have met another woman, fallen in love and had a family. My wife and kids are the most important thing in my life, after God, and I feel so much more fulfilled sharing my life with them than without.

How did I deal with balancing my relationship with them with my dream to hike the whole AT? I brought everyone with me. They've joined me on every AT hike through all but two states. Has it been challenging? Have we had some really good arguments right on the trail? Do the kids still argue with one another just like at home? Yes, yes and yes. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. The AT is now woven into the fabric of their lives in ways I didn't even see when we began. And each shares a unique relationship to it that has grown bigger than me or my dream and is now a part of their own, whether they continue hiking when we're done or not. I am SO glad I've gotten to share this one dream with them.

I really enjoy your family philosophy!

[WalkingOnTheWind]

I'm not married and don't have kids. As a woman when I say I don't want any I get weird looks, everyone tells me I will change my mind. However, I have known since I was a kid thatI didn't want kids. I love my nephews and they stay over at least every other week, but it is always so relaxing when I send them back home. Watching them can be exhausting.

As far as how to make your life fulfilling? I like doing the things that I want to do, when I want to do them. I go kayaking a lot, ride my motorcycle, hang out with friends, play X-box, go fishing, play with my dog, and do things with my family. Everyone is different. I've been told that this way of thinking is selfish, but I don't see how, when I have no responsibilities to anyone except myself (besides my dog).

[4eyedbuzzard]

i am married and have an 8 year old. I have a very, very exceptional and unique and permissive family. They let me hike for weeks on end. About 4 weeks is as long as I have hiked (the long trail in 2010) since I've had a kid. Now that she is getting older, they can chase me down and run-re-supply and I could probably go for that long again or longer. The problem is twofold thought: 1) I end up missing them and 2) work. But I'm pretty fast and can do 100 mile + weeks (on the AT) so a 2-week trip can buy be at least 200 miles - - that's not bad for a married guy. I'm pretty lucky. When my daughter is about 14 or 15, she'll surely think that I'm totally un-cool (she's already about there) and that's when another thru-hike could occur. They could also chase me down several times for a zero day here and there during that potential summer.

I have four children, all young adults now. I took them all on hiking and camping trips throughout the years from the time they were 5 until about 15 or so when they lost a bit of interest. Only one really caught the hiking bug and continued hiking avidly into adulthood (she's now 25). It just isn't for everybody, and that's okay.

One of my great joys now is hiking every year with her. I know I slow her down a bit at times on the uphills but she doesn't mind because I cook great trail dinners and breakfasts. We've done the southern half of the Long Trail (she continued on thru NOBO with a friend), thru'ed the AT in the Whites, done several long 3 to 5 day loops on the many trails in NH, and hope to do a Long Trail or Ouachita Trail thru together sometime over the next few years. You just never know, your daughter may turn out to be hiker now that you've exposed her to it.

[ams212001]

I'm not married and don't have kids. As a woman when I say I don't want any I get weird looks, everyone tells me I will change my mind. However, I have known since I was a kid thatI didn't want kids. I love my nephews and they stay over at least every other week, but it is always so relaxing when I send them back home. Watching them can be exhausting.

As far as how to make your life fulfilling? I like doing the things that I want to do, when I want to do them. I go kayaking a lot, ride my motorcycle, hang out with friends, play X-box, go fishing, play with my dog, and do things with my family. Everyone is different. I've been told that this way of thinking is selfish, but I don't see how, when I have no responsibilities to anyone except myself (besides my dog).

I never understood how it is considered selfish to not have children. I know some parents who had kids specifically to save their marriage. Some people are meant to be parents and some people are not. I don't think selfishness has anything to do with it.

[gsingjane]

[QUOTE=ams212001;1833884]Ha! It is great to see so many married people who have incorporated hiking into their families lifestyle. This shows the character of the person/family. So many people barely do anything as a family together much less adventures that include not showering and sweating.

I agree that it's terrific to see so many families that have managed to incorporate backpacking into their lifestyle, and of course, really no matter what, it's great to see folks spend non-electronic time together. However, I would have to gently differ with the idea that doing so shows the "character" of the person or family. It's not possible, or at least not possible for long, to force people to do things they sincerely don't want to do. It's great to think that we can "raise children up" to love the outdoors and backpacking, and to some extent exposure and good experiences are key, but I also don't think we should blame ourselves if our "nearest and dearest" just don't "get it" to the same degree that we do.

Moreover, people in families do have their own priorities and interests. My two daughters were active and enthusiastic backpackers, until high school athletics and their serious time commitments arrived. By that point it became a question of me asking them to do things that would interfere with meets, practices and training camps, and win them the ire of their coaches besides, and I hardly think we're alone in experiencing those conflicts. (I also somewhat take the long view, which is that a person's days to be a truly competitive athlete are much shorter than the time one can spend as a hiker/backpacker. My hope is that, having been exposed at an early age, they may return later on when their competitive days are over.)

[DandT40]

I have a wife and two kids and try to incorporate them into my hiking/backpacking whenever possible. I get a lot more vacation time than my wife so on my kids breaks (they get 3 weeks for spring and fall break, plus summer) I always take the kids for a backpacking trip. Then as a family we take one big backpacking trip a year all together. On top of that I am sectioning the IAT and the whole family often comes along for that on the weekends. Sometimes we hike together - other times they shuttle me around and go check out other fun stuff.

Like others have said having a family adds another layer of complication at times to my HOBBY of backpacking. But there is no mistake about it - family is what it is all about and backpacking is just a hobby. I struggle sometimes because I do a lot more walking, running, hiking, etc.. than everyone else in my family so my pace and endurance is much higher than everyone else. So I always want to be busting out 20 mile days when everyone else is much happier in the 6-10 range. But 6-10 miles with my family is better than a 30 mile day solo. I end up loading myself up with all the gear to try and even the playing field a little.

As much as I would love to I can't imagine leaving my family for 6 months right now for a through hike. I'm working on planning a through of the JMT and even that is a challenge. I want to do it with my one daughter that is a little older and stronger hiker, but then the other gets jealous... So there are hoops that have to be jumped through to have a family and have everyone happy and hiking together, but the moments when it all works out are priceless. I had my kids young so I'm hoping I will have time when I am older - and still have decent knees - to pursue my more selfish goals like a through hike.

[Deadeye]

I do wonder how people who mainly hike incorporate community and family into their lifestyle as well?

Only one of my two kids was interested in hiking (until he got older and discovered girl hikers!), and my wife has terrible feet, so little interest there. We hiked together when they wanted to go, or I hiked real early in the morning when they didn't want to come along. Community-wise, I do volunteer trail maintenance, and the kids help out when they can, even now that they're older and out of the house. Setting a good example for kids sometimes takes a while to pay off, but it does.