Does anyone else have this problem?

[Doctari]

My first hike: wife not totally happy I was going, each time I called she was more upset.

Second hike: I was the one missed her, went home early.

3rd: We missed each other, but then she & the kids (2 boys) took their own vacation to Fla with some friends so we both had a great time. Can't get homesick if there aint no one there to miss.

4th: Her: "So when you leaving?" Then: "Back already? I thought you wern't comming home till tomorrow.

5th & subsequent hikes: See #4 above.

Yesterday: "So when you going hiking again, and how long will you be gone?" Happily, if I go in May, I get 48 hrs vacation from one year, then on May 18th I get another 120 hrs vacation so I can be gone for,,,,, wait for it,,,, over 3.5 weeks (I work 2 days a week, or 48 hrs / week on a 24 / 48 schedule with EVERY saturday off).

I havn't figured it up yet, but I think a month of hiking is possible,

doctari trying to be calm


still trying


WOO HOOO, YAY YIPPIE WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP FOUR WHOLE WEEKS ON THE AT!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



That went better than expected.


BTW, wife will be visiting with her best friend in NC, which involves a 30 mile detour to drop me off at my start point & about 0 miles out of the way to pick me up again. Just works out that way.


Doctari.

[D'Artagnan]

Maybe the two of you need to watch (or re-watch) City Slickers with Billy Crystal. That story line reminds me of what a lot of guys get out of the AT. They're able to find their "smile" again. (OK, perhaps that's a little too simplistic or hokey, but it's worth a shot.)

[Doctari]

Was supposed to say "about 60 miles out of the way" not "0 miles out of the way"

[Tractor]

Sarge. Don't listen to any of us. Whatever you do will work out somehow but we ain't gonna be right beside you during any drama situations on the front end..... We people are silly creatures and we can't seem to predict, very well, what we ourselves will do in a situation much less someone else. Now in my case, my wife and I got a divorce, I hiked another few hundred miles, we're back together and I'm working a plan for next hike already & she is now very supportive....much more than ever before! Strange but kinda nice! Go figure.

[Rambler]

I am so miserable when my wife is not with me, it's almost like being at home!

How can I miss her, if I don't go away?

Actalluy, I am very lucky. My wife puts up with it when I'm off hiking for 10 days. One key is to give her plenty of warning about the specific days I'll be gone. Hiking a bit faster to get home ahead of schedule also works out well.

Hiking with a family member or with a friend makes it easier to be accepted, too, although now I find that harder to do. It does help, too, that my wife used to like to backpack until she developed a bad back that does not enable her to carry a multi-day pack. She does like dayhikng, but that usually means motels and fine dining.

Do extra work around the house to earn days off for the trail.

[mweinstone]

i just checked to see if you were rambler from maine age 40 somthing who hiked half the trail this year and was called home for his daughters birth. your not him but you write just like him! know him?he loves his wife alot and they knew he had to stop short of a thru when he started. but at the end when she called and said she was ok, he diddnt belive her and got concerned and went home. she diddnt have the heart to directly tell him she needed him but he got the message loud and clear. so then i called him when i quit hiking a month later and he was great.
rambler if your listening,...JOIN WHITE BLAZE!

[nicodemus]

Just did a quick read of the replies here, and didn't see any with my particular situation. I LOVE to camp,hike, and kayak, but I can not seem to budge my boyfriend out of the house. We live very near some great spots in the North Cascades of Washington state.....but no....I've gotten him to go camping with me once. So when I told him that I want to take two monthes off spring 2007, he said that he would help me get everything together for it, but that was it. So I will have to say that I really am nervous about hiking the AT by myself. Hopefully I will find someone on the "hook-up" page who likes a slow pace!!

Ta!!

[Smile]

This is a problem for women too, as you can see by Nicodemus' post above. So I think it goes both ways.

Why should hiking be different from any other activity that you do differently?

You don't all eat the same, have the same hobbies, etc. and often opposites attract. This is part of life, it's sad when somebody tries to keep you from doing something like hike the AT. Go for it and smile knowing you followed your dream!

[Sarge]

I have a happy update to this story. About 2 months ago my wife called me in to the kitchen. Out of the blue she says "Hey, when you lose your job next summer why don't you go and finish the trail!" I couldn't believe it. I had never mentioned this at all to her. I was worried about how I was going to bring up the subject to her and she was the one who brought it up. I'm still trying to get the logistics worked out, but God willing it looks like I will be hitting the trail sometime between about May 15 and Jun 15 depending on exactly when I lose my job. It's still not a sure thing yet, but everything is looking good so far. Even if something comes up between now and then and I can't go, I won't be disappointed because I know I had her support. I'll be starting in Pa NOBO where I left off in '02 so maybe I'll see some you around there.

Sarge

[Gray Blazer]

I have a happy update to this story. About 2 months ago my wife called me in to the kitchen. Out of the blue she says "Hey, when you lose your job next summer why don't you go and finish the trail!" I couldn't believe it.

Sarge

That's my dream! Not the part about losing my job, the other part. See ya at the XXX shelter (when I figure out where it is).

[TurkeyBacon]

Congrats on getting the go ahead.
TB

[maxNcathy]

Sarge,

a) Let your wife know that hiking is very good for your health. In fact 3 months on the trail may well extend your life by 3 years.So she has a net gain of 33 months of life blessed by your presence.

b) Next let her do or go somewhere dear to her while you are away.Say to her, Would you rather go hiking with me or tour Slobovia with your girlfriend?She may decline the long grueling hike with you and choose to discover Hawaii with a boyfriend instead but, hey, that's way better than nothing.

c) Choose to do a month's worth of trail then come home for a week...repeat.

[DawnTreader]

I read this book recently. The author had the exact same problem with his spouse you did. It might be worth the read for you. On the Beaten Path: An Appalachian Pilgrimage
by Robert Alden Rubin

[rafe]

I read this book recently. The author had the exact same problem with his spouse you did. It might be worth the read for you. On the Beaten Path: An Appalachian Pilgrimage
by Robert Alden Rubin

Excellent journal. One of the best.

[Spirit Walker]

I had a friend who ran into the same situation with her husband. They had talked about doing the trail together. When she retired, she decided that the time was NOW. He disagreed. Initially he was supportive, but once he realized that she actually meant to leave, he was much less so. She went anyway. When she returned, he was really angry with her and wouldn't talk to her about the trail or let her talk about her experiences on the trail. He told her afterwards, "I never expected you to last a month." She wanted to do more hiking, but decided that it wasn't worth the grief she got at home so she gave up that dream.

[Sly]

He told her afterwards, "I never expected you to last a month." She wanted to do more hiking, but decided that it wasn't worth the grief she got at home so she gave up that dream.

I'd be more inclined to give up my partner. A hike can be called selfish, but not to allow others, that are supposed to be supportive, to follow their dream seems to be more selfish to me.

[mrc237]

My wife has always supported me! She's got the J-O-B!!

[Sly]

My wife has always supported me! She's got the J-O-B!!

You got a keeper!

[shuffle]

I had the same problem in 2004. I had always dreamed of hiking the AT aand it was all I talked about. Once our children were all on their own I thought it should be my time since I was the one who ran them to all their practices and took care of them and my husband. He was all for it and then when I was actually on the trail and I would call home he would wonder what was doing and got very jealous about being out there with all the other hikers. It was like he felt left out but had no previous desire to be outdoors. It really took a toll on us and after many troubled times of phone calls and such I just seemed to get tired of all the crap and had no motivation left in me. It is important to support your mate in whatever they want to accomplish.