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  1. #1
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Default Questions not to ask other hikers

    I need your help guys!

    Us girls, especially those of us hiking alone, have had it drilled into our heads that it is unsafe to reveal that we are, in fact, alone, and that it could be dangerous to tell others where we are planning to camp for the night. So why is it that 90 percent of hikers I encounter on the trail ask me two things: am I alone, and where am I headed for the night???

    STOP ASKING THOSE QUESTIONS, PLEASE! There are a million other questions you could ask to get a fellow hiker chatting. Are you thru-hiking? Where are you from? Where's the next water source? How's that restaurant I heard about at the next town? On and on and on...there should be no need to ask me where I'm camping, and whether I'm hiking alone.

    And if you do ask those questions, I will lie to you.

    So, please, guys, help me out here. Help out, first, by changing your habits on the trail, bearing in mind the special safety concerns us girls face while hiking alone when you encounter us and start asking questions. And second by teaching others to do the same.

    Me and so many other female hikers will thank you for it!

    Pokey

  2. #2
    James Sodt Time To Fly 97's Avatar
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    These silly comments could be conversational recon to see if it would be ok to get to know you better - like a nice conversation around a campfire...

    ...or maybe there is limited space in the next shelter and they want to ask you the same questions they just asked the guys...

    Just to be safe...maybe you should contact the Human Resources department.

    TTF

  3. #3
    First Sergeant SGT Rock's Avatar
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    Just my read on this, but that is normal trail conversation. Sort of like talking about trail conditions to someone going the other direction or talking about who is eating what at a camp. I'd ask the same question of a guy or a girl on the trail, especially if we are going the same way so I can decide to hike ahead, hold back, or go to the destination I was planning on based on how I perceive the person. So say if I were planning to go to the same shelter as you, but I don't want to be around other people that night, then I will likely keep on moving or stop short based on how you respond.

    If it bothers you don't answer the person asking. It is sort of like how people ask me if I have ever killed someone because they know I am a soldier. I just tell them I do not answer that question. Maybe some other former service members do but I don't. I get it all the time but I don't feel I need to talk about it. It doesn't bother me that people ask, only if they keep at it after I tell them I am not going to talk about it.
    SGT Rock
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    My 2008 Trail Journal of the BMT/AT

    BMT Thru-Hikers' Guide
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    NO SNIVELING

  4. #4
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Funny, Sgt. Rock, I just now noticed your line about not answering the question "how many people have you killed?" I made the mistake once of asking my boyfriend, who served 10 years in the Air Force, that question. I'll never ask it again! Of anyone!

    I asked the question innocently, not realizing it was taboo. But once someone pointed out the problem, I knew better.

    Same kinda point I'm trying to get at with my post...

  5. #5
    Do-it-yourself pepsi can stoves - $20 each. Amigi'sLastStand's Avatar
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    When someone asks me if I have ever killed anyone, I always say, "Add One". They say, what does that mean? And I say, whatever the number is, i'm gonna Add One if you ever ask me again.
    You are in heaven.

  6. #6
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Oh, I think somehow I failed to post a couple other intended replies. Bear with me...I'm new at this.

    I meant to say, thanks for the snide comments, Time to Fly. I'm not asking for political correctness, just a little common courtesy.

    Sgt. Rock, the fact that it's "normal trail conversation" is why I posted this plea to begin with. I'm hoping that it will stop being "normal trail conversation." If you want to know about how crowded a shelter will be at the next stop, then ask about it directly, not "where you headed tonight?" Just tiny changes in habits could bring so much peace of mind to us gals on the trail.

    Just try to remember some of the specific safety concerns us girls are thinking about...things you guys, thankfully, don't have to even consider. I know, from talking to other female hikers, that I am totally not alone in this...

    Thanks for your consideration and non-snide reply, Sgt. Rock.

  7. #7
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Oh, my former Air Force boyfriend will love that one!

    But you're getting me off the subject...

  8. #8
    James Sodt Time To Fly 97's Avatar
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    My apologies Pokey. Just so you know, the snide comment was made with a smile.

    TTF

  9. #9

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    i think you're right, pokey. where are you spending the night -- that's a stupid question for a guy to ask a girl on the trail. it's sure to make the girl uncomfortable and ought not to be answered by the girl.

  10. #10

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    Pokey - when we talked in SNP did I ask any of those questions? If so I apologize.

  11. #11
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Uh huh.

    Well, at least you read my post, and maybe you'll think twice about asking a gal "where you headed tonight." Maybe...we can only hope...

    I am just trying to get you guys thinking about it. I'm really not trying to get all PC on you. Just think about it.

  12. #12
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Hog on Ice...Shoot, I don't remember you! Did you go by a different name? Refresh my memory!

    I honestly don't recall anyone in Shenandoah asking me any hinky questions. I would have remembered, too, since I was already a little "on guard" with the shelters so close to the roads. Shenandoah, actually, was a great experience for me -- great trails, great people, great (if temporary) hiking partners), plus food every other day. I loved Shenandoah!

  13. #13
    First Sergeant SGT Rock's Avatar
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    No problem Pokey. I try to be unobtrusive into others hikes anyway. I try not to look or act like the crazy hiker type after a hike in 2001 where I was minding my own business sitting by a creek on the trail when a group of three came up NOBO (I was SOBO) it was two women and one guy. The girls stopped back and waited for the guy to come up and make sure I was safe before they came forward. I thought it was awful funny at the time that I was insidious looking enough to require all that.
    SGT Rock
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    My 2008 Trail Journal of the BMT/AT

    BMT Thru-Hikers' Guide
    -----------------------------------------

    NO SNIVELING

  14. #14

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    well I think we were talking at Hightop Hut but I am not real sure about it - about all I remember is talking to a woman with the trailname of Pokey - as for names I usually introduce myself as "my name is HOI unless you want to be formal about it then its Hog On Ice" - generally I wear a long sleaved dirty white shirt and a beat up white western style straw hat - I'm a rather heavy 6'2" older man, bald if you saw me with my hat off, a lot of grey hair and grey stubble usually

  15. #15
    Registered User blackbishop351's Avatar
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    Pokey - I'm seriously not trying to be a jerk here, so I hope you don't take it that way....

    If you're nervous or uncomfortable about being alone out there, why do it? Or why not take a partner? Or why not carry protection of some sort?

    My wife is a pretty cautious person when it comes to doing anything by herself. Most of the time, I think her caution is unneccessary, but sometimes it is. Being on the trail alone, away from help, for months at a time....I honestly don't know how comfortable I'd be with her doing that, especially without some form of protection.

    Just curious
    Physics is the only true science. All else is stamp collecting. - J. J. Thompson

  16. #16
    Registered User gravityman's Avatar
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    Default Only the bad will ask then...

    I hike with my wife, and we always ask that question. I don't know that I could remember NOT to ask it of woman because it is such a common question. But I had in fact thought about that, but also though that it didn't matter that much, since I know that I'm not asking for nefarious reasons.

    The point here is, the person asking for a bad reason won't try to change his habits, so it doesn't matter if the good people stop asking you, because it's the scary ones that matter.

    What's more important is that you have a good, convincing answer that will keep someone that could/would do you wrong from guessing where you'll end up that night.

    I think the most convincing answer is "I haven't made up my mind yet what kind of miles I want to put in." However, it's usually pretty easy to guess what shelter you will be aiming at. A more diversionary response would be say that you are hiking a few miles past the shelter/campsite you are aiming at.

    Just a thought...

    Gravity

  17. #17
    NE AT 733 of 733 miles & Long Trail End-to-End Tramper Al's Avatar
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    Hey Pokey,

    Yeah, I try not to do that, but will try harder in future.

    When people are going in my direction, I am often curious where they are headed (especially if it's raining). But I try to say "I'm heading for whatever shelter, are you?", that sort of thing. Most of the people I chat with seem to be going in the other direction, and then it's all about where did you sleep last night.

    I have many times encountered women on the trail who didn't want to yield any information at all, maybe not even if they were hiking northbound or southbound (as if I couldn't tell)! I totally understand this, though, and I never take it personally.

    Just because 99% of the us guys out there are kind hearted and totally harmless, doesn't mean that that's enough.
    - Tramper Al

  18. #18

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    I think Gravityman's comment about being non-committal or vague with your reply when asked about your hiking plans or destination makes a great deal of sense.

    And I think your being vague or even dishonest about who you're hiking with is also perfectly understandable.

    If a question or query makes you in the least bit uncomfortable, you're under no obligation to answer it.

    Happy hiking.

  19. #19
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Oh, darlings, I do, indeed carry a form or two of "protection." And I do feel totally safe on the AT.

    However, that doesn't mean I don't want to take precautions. They are the same precautions other women on the trail take -- to not tell anyone that we are alone, andto not reveal where we are planning to camp. Very simple. So I am only asking for the men on the trail to be aware of these concerns...

    I will say, I am thrilled that my post has touched off a dialogue. That's the first step.

    Perhaps I will catch other opinions later. For now, I must go -- the trail is calling my name...

    Thanks, guys,

    Pokey

    PS: There were a couple of us Pokeys out there this year; I think you met a different one, as I don't recall you! Too bad -- you sound like a cool cat!

  20. #20
    Registered User Pokey2006's Avatar
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    Ah, but Jack, why can't you guys be a little more sensitive to the fact that those are totally inappropriate questions to ask???

    Ya, I'm trying to change a whole way of thinking here, but, heck, it's worth a try...maybe over time we'll get it right.

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