Bad hiking partner!

[NativePennsylvanian]

My friend on here(Native Pennsylvanian)drinks too much and he makes me drink too. He gets moody and he beats me. He runs off thru hikers and tells them to stay out of PA. He's sullen and quiet when he's not yelling at someone or something or some animal.

You're gonna get the beating of a lifetime for that.

[taildragger]

I cut the trip short by a day because I couldn't stand him anymore. On the way back to the car we picked blueberries. He picked and ate three quarts on his own and complained the whole way home about his stomach issues that resulted. I complained about the results he left in my bathroom when we got back to my house.

Sorry, but that part of the story has got to be the funniest thing that I've read outside of the "sex in a hammock thread" by Neo

[desdemona]

You're gonna get the beating of a lifetime for that.

I would not quite worded it in a such a flip way as this is quite potentially a dangerous situation. I would run NOT walk away from this individual!!
Any time an individual is that combatitive there is an issue. I believe my "friend" may have similar potential though he hasn't quite worked up there.


--des

[dixicritter]

My friend on here(Native Pennsylvanian)drinks too much and he makes me drink too. He gets moody and he beats me. He runs off thru hikers and tells them to stay out of PA. He's sullen and quiet when he's not yelling at someone or something or some animal.

You're gonna get the beating of a lifetime for that.

I would not quite worded it in a such a flip way as this is quite potentially a dangerous situation. I would run NOT walk away from this individual!!
Any time an individual is that combatitive there is an issue. I believe my "friend" may have similar potential though he hasn't quite worked up there.


--des

Actually des, I think this is a case of a couple of guys that have wandered into the Female Hikers forum and haven't left the Neanderthal ways outside where they belong.

Sorry, but that part of the story has got to be the funniest thing that I've read outside of the "sex in a hammock thread" by Neo

This one too. Silly guys, must be color blind...

[taildragger]

Actually des, I think this is a case of a couple of guys that have wandered into the Female Hikers forum and haven't left the Neanderthal ways outside where they belong.




This one too. Silly guys, must be color blind...

my uh... monitors going out....hard to tell the shades of grey...

[ChimneySpring]

I kind of figured he might be an alcoholic (he is NOT a significant other, nor a boy friend)-- however, I have never seen him drunk. He got in the car with me (I drove at least), and he had an alcoholic smell.

Mmmmkay... and you continued on to your hiking destination why?

[dixicritter]

my uh... monitors going out....hard to tell the shades of grey...

LOL.... good one.

[sarbar]

All I am saying is...you ladies are WAY TOO NICE. Mooches, jerkwads and vacuums need to be kicked to the curb from the moment you smell it out. Don't be nice. I know we ladies are raised to not be rude..but, that is how men (and some women) like that take advantage of women!

Learn to be rude. It does wonders. And if they won't their share? Well, waaahhh. They can sleep outside. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself and children you birth

Well, that and a large container of pepper spray - a girl's best friend.

[Toolshed]

Learn to be rude. It does wonders. And if they won't their share? Well, waaahhh. They can sleep outside. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself and children you birth
....

It's not being rude, it just being direct. Nothing rude about being direct.
"No thank you - I do not wish to hike with you." or "I am not giving (or sharing with you) anything else. You need to leave now"
and then end the conversation and move on.

I personally don't understand why anyone would want to keep hiking with or hang out with someone that was mooching, drinking, farting, hanging out partially dressed, unkempt or obnoxious. ....But then again... I just realized I don't have any friends.......

[AlwaysHiking]

Learn to be rude. It does wonders. And if they won't their share? Well, waaahhh. They can sleep outside. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself and children you birth

There's no excuse for rudeness, ever. How would that make you any better than someone with poor social skills? Typically with creeps a negative reaction only tends to make the whole thing worse. Or if they're trying to get under their skin, you just gave them the satisfaction they were looking for. People like the guy in my story are not worth the time or effort it takes to be rude.

I personally don't understand why anyone would want to keep hiking with or hang out with someone that was mooching, drinking, farting, hanging out partially dressed, unkempt or obnoxious. ....But then again... I just realized I don't have any friends.......

Who said anything about wanting to be in that situation. Trust me ladies, if I could have predicted someone I had a minor dislike for would turn into a flat out creep, then I wouldn't have gone.

[EWS]

If anyone needs a bad hiking partner experience, I'll give you a primer. It'll save you from getting possibaly hurt later on.

[Smudge]

Yikes, I'm glad I hike with my brother!!

[Gary-G]

Happy to see everyone knows to keep your wits about you at all times! (In the outdoors or in the city) Spend one night watching your local news (depressing!) and you will see how dangerous it is to be careless.

[sarbar]

There's no excuse for rudeness, ever. How would that make you any better than someone with poor social skills? Typically with creeps a negative reaction only tends to make the whole thing worse. Or if they're trying to get under their skin, you just gave them the satisfaction they were looking for. People like the guy in my story are not worth the time or effort it takes to be rude.

Rudeness can keep you alive. So can be being cold, frigid and stand offish. Many women think they HAVE to be nice, you don't. In a bad situation being nice leads those types of men on.

[AlwaysHiking]

Rudeness can keep you alive. So can be being cold, frigid and stand offish. Many women think they HAVE to be nice, you don't. In a bad situation being nice leads those types of men on.

I won't go through life being rude. You can be firm and stand your ground without being rude.

[warraghiyagey]

I won't go through life being rude. You can be firm and stand your ground without being rude.

[desdemona]

>Actually des, I think this is a case of a couple of guys that have wandered into the Female Hikers forum and haven't left the Neanderthal ways outside where they belong.

Was responding to a remark about someone getting the "beating of their lives" as being a flip remark.

Well said, btw.

Mmmmkay... and you continued on to your hiking destination why?

That's a really good question. And I think it is my lack of experience with alcoholism, strange though that may be (and I am old enough). But I don't think I took it as seriously as I should have. I have been around people who have had a drink or two (and weren't alcoholic) and they would certainly smell a bit like alcohol. But real alcoholics-- like/no experience.

Fortunately for me it was a short hike. The effort of hiking seemed to dry him out a bit, though his climbing abilities were very impaired. (Lucky for me.) This is also a pretty populated area. Not that I would do it again.

My first real experience, but this is definitely the last one I wish to have.

I also wished to give this as a cautionary tale.

--des

[Frosty]

I won't go through life being rude. You can be firm and stand your ground without being rude.

Sarbar didn't actually say to go through life being rude. She said it is sometimes necessary. Standing your ground and being firm is very effective with polite, civil people, but some people simply are neither polite nor civil themselves, nor do they take hints. Or even a direct statements.

We all prefer to be polite. And we all have boundaries. Sometimes in life you have to prioritize.

I believe it is okay to be rude to a person who crashes your boundaries, or is too intimate, or is threatening in any manner. First priority: Personal safety, both physical and emotional. Second priority: be polite.

My 2 cents.

[AlwaysHiking]

Sarbar didn't actually say to go through life being rude. She said it is sometimes necessary. Standing your ground and being firm is very effective with polite, civil people, but some people simply are neither polite nor civil themselves, nor do they take hints. Or even a direct statements.

We all prefer to be polite. And we all have boundaries. Sometimes in life you have to prioritize.

I believe it is okay to be rude to a person who crashes your boundaries, or is too intimate, or is threatening in any manner. First priority: Personal safety, both physical and emotional. Second priority: be polite.

My 2 cents.

I still stand on the grounds that rudeness would only make a complicated situation worse.

A person with poor social habits that oversteps boundaries can be well told off without being rude.

[sarbar]

I still stand on the grounds that rudeness would only make a complicated situation worse.

A person with poor social habits that oversteps boundaries can be well told off without being rude.

My point was not that one goes through life being rude, Frosty got my point. My view is rather that in a situation where your safety is in issue, rudeness may be your only choice - and by that I mean not being a nice, laid back woman who goes along with the flow to not upset people.

We are responsible for our safety in life, and especially so on the trail. Don't make yourself into a victim. Walk tall with pride in your spine. Look men in the eyes, stand firm in your convictions and never feel pressured to be nice, civil or to not cause a scene. This can mean not going on a trip, turning back or simply saying "you are not welcome to join me". Most of all, not letting someone into your car for a trip when drunk.

Years ago I had a man decide he needed to join my kid and I on a hike - and he was a stranger. Should I have been nice and asked him to join us? Heck no! Rather I was frosty and got my point across. Some might say I was rude - but I also had my 6th sense telling me this man was no good.

Not everybody in this world is good. You don't have to be paranoid but you need to be prepared. I'd rather hurt someones feelings a bit than lose money, time or my life. If the person is a mooch you haven't lost anything by being rude except for a moochy anchor. And as for the drunk guy, what if he had fallen and hurt himself? He could have then sued the OP for "allowing him to go out there". And I don't joke about that either. What if being drunk he had grabbed the wheel while she was driving?

And after this I will shut up:
Unless you are really, really good friends with a man you are playing with fire by going off into the wilderness alone with an unstable man. You are safer to go by yourself with a large container of bear spray. Yes, I hike one on on with men, but I choose my male partners carefully. These are people my husband is fine with and who we also are friends with. There are many men who assume that if you go somewhere with them it is a date! Even if you TELL them it isn't. Ladies! Use your brain and listen to your inner voices! Don't put yourself in danger when you don't have to!!!!