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Thread: Man rules

  1. #1
    Registered User Just Jack's Avatar
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    Default Man rules

    Hope this helps.....
    Subject: The Man Rules



    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (
    I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear
    "the Rules "
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
    ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.

    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did
    NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
    no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it
    will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but i t is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
    Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, hockey
    or
    golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    RoundIS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -
    to give them a bigger laugh.



  2. #2
    gregburke greg burke's Avatar
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    Thats F*&^$n Funny Rolf!!!!!!

  3. #3
    Registered User Big Dawg's Avatar
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    Default

    Excellent!

  4. #4
    Registered User Rentman's Avatar
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    SWEET...................................

  5. #5
    Duke goduke's Avatar
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    I love it!! ROFLMAO

  6. #6
    Registered User Wise Old Owl's Avatar
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    Missing.....

    You really DO leave the light on... all the time.

    "No-we really don't like shopping at the mall, there are no tools or monster trucks to look at."


    I just printed it and taped it to my wifes computer station, like toilet paper.
    Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.

    Woo

  7. #7
    Registered User cowboy nichols's Avatar
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    These should be required reading for all brides to be. You can't change a man afterward.

  8. #8
    Registered User Wise Old Owl's Avatar
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    Yea I remember that, we lived together for two years and I thought I knew her, right after the honeymoon all hell broke loose, I will leave that to your imagination.
    Dogs are excellent judges of character, this fact goes a long way toward explaining why some people don't like being around them.

    Woo

  9. #9
    Registered User FatMan's Avatar
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  10. #10
    LT '79; AT '73-'14 in sections; Donating Member Kerosene's Avatar
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    A lot of truth here...

  11. #11
    AT NOBO2010 / SOBO2011 Maddog's Avatar
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    sweet!!!

  12. #12
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    I thought that was right but the women keep saying all that other stuff. Um,....I'm not sure what they were saying....I wasn't listening. I hope my ex-wife reads that.

  13. #13

    Default

    Excellent!!!

  14. #14
    Registered User dpnoll's Avatar
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    The best I have ever seen.

  15. #15
    Registered User Doctari's Avatar
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    OH!
    It was supposed to be funny?

    Um, I posted it on the wall of my house, framed & everything!








    Yea, I was ROTFLMAO, so was my wife.
    Curse you Perry the Platypus!

  16. #16

    Default

    really well thought out. Bravo.

  17. #17
    Registered User boarstone's Avatar
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    ROTHFLMAO!..............That is so cool! I love it! Now ladies...just pay attention to it!
    Do one thing everyday...that makes you happy...

  18. #18
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    this thread is sexist and humorless

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lone Wolf View Post
    this thread is sexist and humorless
    Yes and it has no socialy redeeming value. LMAO

  20. #20
    Registered User middle to middle's Avatar
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    But we love it , and learned from it !

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