Oh Lord!

[McPick]

An atheist was walking through the woods, along the AT.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot black bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

Said the voice. "Very well."

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen."

[Tinker]

Thanks for sharing. Maybe this one can get a second wind (I believe I was a teenager the first time I heard it. ).

[Manwich]

Wow, if this were a Pro-Atheist thread it would have been reported and taken down already.

[Manwich]

And if I remember correctly, skydaddy ends up killing kids with bears anyway...

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two shebears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces.

2 Kings 2:23-24

[Bronk]

I was at a shelter just outside of Pearisburg near the end of May when I woke up to find it snowing...I had already sent my winter clothing home, so I wasn't as prepared as I could be for the cold. I ended up staying in my sleeping bag until about noon, at which point I decided to get a fire going...

I had half a soda bottle of moonshine that somebody had given me after they picked it up at trail days...and I also had a stack of about 10 christian bibles that some do-gooder had left in the shelter...I decided to mix them together and light them on fire.

Another hiker came along just about the time I was ripping the binding of the books and tossing them into the fire ring...he expressed outrage that I was burning bibles...I just smiled and said "the lord works in mysterious ways."

[smokymtnsteve]

my self being atheist was walking down the trail...along came a christian,,
taking about gay marriage and what a temptation homosexuality was

I was very afraid, but was not tempted all

[Nean]

He made the bear Catholic?

Nice fairy tale.

[rambunny]

Geez you'all are confusing!

[Toolshed]

This is as bad as all the bull**** you religinazis hand out at the shelters. Take your stupid cards and proverbs and whatever other bull**** you hand out and keep walking....

[Lilred]

This is as bad as all the bull**** you religinazis hand out at the shelters. Take your stupid cards and proverbs and whatever other bull**** you hand out and keep walking....

Geez Toolshed, calm yourself down. This is the HUMOR thread.

[QuarterPounder]

This is as bad as all the bull**** you religinazis hand out at the shelters. Take your stupid cards and proverbs and whatever other bull**** you hand out and keep walking....

Seems sad to me that a light sided joke in the Hiker Humor section would evoke this type of response.

Not taking sides; just doesn't seem right.

[Lone Wolf]

a christian, a jew and an athiest walk into a bar. the bartender says, what is this, a friggin' joke?

[Toolshed]

Yeah I'm a littel vile today - didn't realize it was the humour section..... Had to get up at 5 to get my IV's ready for infusion. Anyway, I got 1 dangling raw F'ing nerve left and this just hit too close to home of the zealous born agains who come up to you on the trail and start speaking about being saved, or offer trail angel crap and then try to force their little cards on you. I don't beleive in advertising it or forcefeeding others. So, sorry if I came off mean...

[Wise Old Owl]

[Reid]

Why do you always have to take two baptist fishing with you??

If you take one he'll drink all your beer but if you take two they wont drink in front of each other.

[QuarterPounder]

Toolshed,

I now recall an earlier post where you inidcated some medical issues and pending procedures. A 5 AM wake up for an IV prep could make anyone a little vile.

I hope all goes well for you.

QP

[llano]

I loved it, and I'm an atheist!

[AUhiker90]

Hilarious story

[Rockhound]

I'm dyslexic. I believe in dog.

[Graywolf]

This looks awefully suspiciously li ethe bear that came to the Stover Creek Shelter when I was there last August..He too put his paws on the table..I told him/her get your feet off the table, you cannot eat with your feet on the table...