Hello, this is my first post; I've been lurking for a while. I'm hoping to get some insight here. Here's the deal. I've been wanting to do a thru hike for a few years, but I really started thinking about it this year, since January or so. I want to start next year, March 2011. I'm just graduating from college this August. I figure, if I don't do it soon I never will, because it'll be time for me to get serious about a job or maybe go on to graduate school. My husband is older than me. He's changing jobs and we're moving to Kansas shortly after I graduate. He's really hurt by my wanting to thru hike. He doesn't understand why I want to. I can't really put into words why I want to do it so bad; it's like I burn to do it. He's hurt. He thinks I want to be away from him. He wants me to wait until he can do it too, but I don't think I can wait that long, and I don't know when that would be... when he retires? But then I'll have a job (hopefully). He keeps saying that while I'm gone he's going to go to Australia or something. (What does this mean? Would he go there out of spite?) I'm so sad lately because I realize I'm not going to get to go. I feel, fundamentally, that my life is not going to work out the way I want it to. He's done things before we met: he's been to mexico, he used to sail and go hot air ballooning, he quit his career and tried to be an artist for a while. I was young. I never have done anything on my own. Part of the reason I want to thru hike is to feel like I can do something. That I am capable. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that my marriage is going to end. Maybe not over this directly. I feel stuck. If I go, maybe I'll lose him. Maybe he'll be mad at me for five months. If I don't go, I'll always wonder what might have been. I have a history of depression and I feel it creeping back when I realize that I might not get to do this. Maybe I'm just selfish.