In case of bear...

[GracefulRoll]

Bears totally think this way.

[Papa D]

before I actually had bear encounters, I've had several, I told people not to worry at all about bears - they will turn tail and run away. This is what I'd like to believe - I'm not so sure though.
I read an ancient hunting book (i'm not a hunter). It said that most people you talk to tell you that a bear will run away but of course, those that would tell you differently are not with us - not quite fair.

[George]

thats also what I look like after to many beers

[yaduck9]

thats also what I look like after to many beers

After too many beers, the bears start to look a lot better too.

[trailangelbronco]

There are different kinds of bears. You have Black Bears. Most run, some have to be yelled at before they run. Those are the ones that are used to humans.

Come out west, you are in Grizz country and you wear a bell, carry spray and hope like hell that you don't walk up on momma with a cub, she will kill you...

[Stir Fry]

Two hiked hear a rackit outside the tent. When they look out they see a bear running down the hill at them. One starts putting on his shoes, the other says why are you doing that, you can't out run a bear. He looks over and says I dont need to out run the bear only you.

[mweinstone]

groll, are the two red arrows the projected direction of mauling?

[Papa D]

Customer goes into a store to shop for a rifle that he would like to carry in bear country. Salesperson recommends a rifle but suggests that the sight (bump on the end of the barrel) be ground off nice and smooth. The customer doesn't understand. Why, in the world would I knock the sight off the gun. Salesperson replies, "this way, it won't hurt so much when the bear sticks that gun up your a*#.

[Papa D]

Keep and arm bears

[GracefulRoll]

groll, are the two red arrows the projected direction of mauling?

I think the arrows are guides as to how to look really smooth as you go to sleep. It helps if you have "Smooth Criminal" playing on an iPod.

[GracefulRoll]

There are different kinds of bears. You have Black Bears. Most run, some have to be yelled at before they run. Those are the ones that are used to humans.

Come out west, you are in Grizz country and you wear a bell, carry spray and hope like hell that you don't walk up on momma with a cub, she will kill you...

In that case, I'm taking a cowbell and two coconut shell halves and banging them together.

[Old Hiker]

In that case, I'm taking a cowbell and two coconut shell halves and banging them together.

You had better know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. Just sayin'.

[Skidsteer]

You had better know the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. Just sayin'.

African or European?

[Old Hiker]

African or European?

What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!

[GracefulRoll]

Well, at least I know my favorite color.

[Tinker]

I read of a black bear mauling in Canada where the bear sauntered into the campsite at night, sat on the tent (and the man inside) and started chewing on his buttocks. Bears don't kill first, like mountain lions. They'll eat you alive.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is the humor forum??
Apparantly in the USA our black bears are big wusses - thankfully.

[hikerboy57]

enough about bears-what about spiders?What weapons should I carry? Will the above posture keep spiders away?which is more deadly=the brown recluse or the black widow?
keep fear alive.

[GracefulRoll]

With brown recluse and black widow spiders, you either kill them with fire or nuke them from space.

[GracefulRoll]

I read of a black bear mauling in Canada where the bear sauntered into the campsite at night, sat on the tent (and the man inside) and started chewing on his buttocks. Bears don't kill first, like mountain lions. They'll eat you alive.
Oh, I'm sorry. This is the humor forum??
Apparantly in the USA our black bears are big wusses - thankfully.

There had to be SOMETHING ill-tempered in Canada.

[rhjanes]

I want to know what to do about that big, gigantic, killer rabbit with the fangs and....