Preparation Rivalry Gone Bad:

[The Counselor]

The following is a text conversation my brother and I just had showing off how prepared we are for the trip. Had it been an actual conversation, you would have been informed where to go for safety and sanity:

G: I'm all spork from here on

A: I quit showering a week ago

G: Drinking outta my new cup
In boxers that will never smell

A: I miss the inside a little

G: I count pills

A: I have trash in my pockets

G: I look down whenever I walk anywhere. Just down

A: I carry excrement in ziploc bags

G: Get a shovel

A: I ask everyone I see "how long you out here for." Lady at gas station said about 6 minutes

G: I dare people to flick their cigarette butts
threaten to slingshot it outta the sky

A: I call the sink a water source

G: I can hold off on masterbating for 5 days

A: Okay. I'm out

[jrwiesz]

The following is a text conversation my brother and I just had showing off how prepared we are for the trip. Had it been an actual conversation, you would have been informed where to go for safety and sanity:

G: I'm all spork from here on

A: I quit showering a week ago

G: Drinking outta my new cup
In boxers that will never smell

A: I miss the inside a little

G: I count pills

A: I have trash in my pockets

G: I look down whenever I walk anywhere. Just down

A: I carry excrement in ziploc bags

G: Get a shovel

A: I ask everyone I see "how long you out here for." Lady at gas station said about 6 minutes

G: I dare people to flick their cigarette butts
threaten to slingshot it outta the sky

A: I call the sink a water source

G: I can hold off on masterbating for 5 days

A: Okay. I'm out

G: Pass the Preparation H.

A: I thought it was toothpaste!

And the beat goes on.

[Hooch]

G: I can hold off on masterbating for 5 days

Don't, it's better outdoors. Just sayin'.

[LDog]

I eat instant oatmeal out of freezer baggies at home

[Buzz_Lightfoot]

Showers? As long as there is no drought.

[88BlueGT]

A: I have trash in my pockets

A: I ask everyone I see "how long you out here for." Lady at gas station said about 6 minutes

G: I dare people to flick their cigarette butts
threaten to slingshot it outta the sky

A: I call the sink a water source

^^^ These are hilarious!

[mweinstone]

my kit on its hook by the door with its fully loaded launch status, requireing nothing but launching, is like a baltimore jack in a box ready for spring. has been since i was 14. i have never gone to sleep since i was 9 or 10, without survival gear and food and water either under my bed, or on a hook by he door. i got sara conners syndrome when i saw the future in a bazooka joe wrapper fortune and its associated comical coontent. joe spoke of the futre as dark and forboding and lacking of gum. i prepared my life that day.