married thru-hikers

[stephanie]

I was wondering how your spouses handled your thru-hike. Were they supportive of the idea? How often did you see each other during the hike? How was your marriage when you got back?

If you thru-hiked together, how did that go?

[MOWGLI]

I was wondering how your spouses handled your thru-hike. Were they supportive of the idea? How often did you see each other during the hike? How was your marriage when you got back?

If you thru-hiked together, how did that go?

Egad! I was 38 when I hiked. Was she supportive? Absolutely!

How often did we see each other? First time was in Damascus - 5 days. Next time was near Natural Bridge - 36 hours. Next was Harpers Ferry - 48 hours. After that was at home in Warwick, NY - 1 week. Then the last time was in Vermont - 2 days. She picked me up at Katahdin.

How was the marriage afterwards? Not that good. That's because it took me at least a year AFTER the hike to actually arrive at home.


Since then we're relocated from NY to Tennessee. Things have never been better.

Good luck!

[hikerjohnd]

That's because it took me at least a year AFTER the hike to actually arrive at home.

Is this a psychological thing or did you really take a year to get back to the house? If my wife reads this, she may not be so supportive...

--John

[MOWGLI]

Is this a psychological thing or did you really take a year to get back to the house? If my wife reads this, she may not be so supportive...

--John

Like so much of the trail, it's a psychological thing.

[max patch]

I met my wife at the Nantahala Outdoor Center, Hot Springs, Damascus, and somewhere in the Shenadoah National Park. The first 3 meetings were weekends; the SNP we hiked together for about 3 days and then went to Waynesboro for a day and then to DC for the rest of the week.

After the hike we've gone back to some of the unique places I saw such as Kahadin, the ponies at Grayson, the loop through the Whites with a stay at a couple of the Huts, and a couple ski trips to Killington where we stayed at Mountain Meadows and the Inn at the Long Trail. We also did a lot of hiking in the Standing Indian area and usually stayed at Rainbow Springs. We also went to some of the places I missed on my hike that I wanted to see such as Gulf Hagas and the Maur Hau Trail.

I hiked a bit with a married couple. She hiked to North Woodstock (almost done!) and quit because she wasn't having fun anymore. He was planning on finishing, but only hiked one more day and then decided to quit as he couldn't imagine finishing without her.

[max patch]

We also went back to Catawba, VA for a meal at the Homesplace and a weekend hike to the MacAfee Knob (probably the most photographed site on the Trail) area.

Yes, my wife supported my hike but I was also smart enough to tell her before we got married that "someday" I was going to do this.

[steve hiker]

I was wondering how your spouses handled your thru-hike. Were they supportive of the idea? How often did you see each other during the hike? How was your marriage when you got back?

1-800-D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Just kidding.

[Footslogger]

We're probably an unusual case ...in more ways than one. We both hiked one month of the other one's thru. I hiked from Springer to Franklin with my wife (BadAss Turtle - AT 2001) and then again from Monson to Katahdin. She hiked from Damascus to Waynesboro with me on my thru in 2003.

Niether of us had a problem dealing with the other one hiking and we're still going strong. It helps a lot if your partner shares your insanity !!

'Slogger
AT 2003

[neo]

Egad! I was 38 when I hiked. Was she supportive? Absolutely!

How often did we see each other? First time was in Damascus - 5 days. Next time was near Natural Bridge - 36 hours. Next was Harpers Ferry - 48 hours. After that was at home in Warwick, NY - 1 week. Then the last time was in Vermont - 2 days. She picked me up at Katahdin.

How was the marriage afterwards? Not that good. That's because it took me at least a year AFTER the hike to actually arrive at home.


Since then we're relocated from NY to Tennessee. Things have never been better.

Good luck!

hey jeffery,it can only get better when you move to tennessee,my futer wife is from new york also,tennessee is GODS country.hope i see ya at the big dig
in soddy daisy this year neo

[Nightwalker]

I was wondering how your spouses handled your thru-hike. Were they supportive of the idea? How often did you see each other during the hike? How was your marriage when you got back?

If you thru-hiked together, how did that go?

My dad tried to guilt me out of taking my hike this year. "I'll wake up at night worried about you out there in the middle of nowhere." My wife hit the ceiling. "You ARE going on that hike. It's what you want to do. It's all you talk about."

There was lots more. Anyway, my wife seriously supports me and wants me to have a great time.

[ed bell]

We're probably an unusual case ...in more ways than one. We both hiked one month of the other one's thru. I hiked from Springer to Franklin with my wife (BadAss Turtle - AT 2001) and then again from Monson to Katahdin. She hiked from Damascus to Waynesboro with me on my thru in 2003.

Niether of us had a problem dealing with the other one hiking and we're still going strong. It helps a lot if your partner shares your insanity !!

'Slogger
AT 2003

My wife Gutsy and I both have the insanity... marital bliss... She had an attempted thru-hike in 2003, and we both hope to go for another thru someday soon. Sidenote to slogger- I believe my wife says that she met you out there, hope all is well! Have you and your wife considered doing a hike together? I often wonder if hiking pace would make a couple's hike even more difficult.

[Doctari]

I'm "just" a section hiker.

My first section was 8 days, so I was gone 10. Wife was totally freaked out by the time I got home.

Second hike, only 7 days. She was happy I was home.

Third hike: She left for a vacation with the kids to WDW in Fla 3 days before I got home from a 16 day hike.

most recent hike: I finished 4 days early from a 3 week hike, her response when I walked in the door: "What are you doing here?"

So, in my case, she has gone from hating me even doing a section hike, to being very supportive of a thru. She now even wants to join me, but due to back problems cannot.

[ToeJam]

We do our section hikes together, and will eventually thru together as well.

I couldn't imagine it ANY other way - couldn't imagine being the "support person" and missing all the fun lol! I think hiking with yer spouse/SO is the ultimate in bonding experiences, but thats just me. And I know that for some weird reason, chicks who like to go play in the dirt and walk over mountains seems to be the exception to rule.

But our arrangement works out just fine for me!

[C-Stepper]

I was wondering how your spouses handled your thru-hike. Were they supportive of the idea? How often did you see each other during the hike? How was your marriage when you got back?

If you thru-hiked together, how did that go?

Interesting answers so far to this question. It seems to be common here that the spouse is also a hiker, and I think that changes things. What about those with non-hiking, or non-exercising, spouses?

I hope to thru-hike in 5-7 years, when my two kids are grown. My husband makes fun of what I want to do. I don't think he's an atypical spouse at all, to be honest. When I get bummed about it, I read the book "On the Beaten Path", about a male thru-hiker with a borderline supportive wife. It helps me to believe a thru can be completed, even without much support at home.

I've often wondered if I'll still be married when I reach Katahdin

[kyerger]

When i told my wife is was planing a thru-hike she thought i was crazy. She may be right. I dont know if that is true or not...Maybe i am crazy..I am in school right now to be a RN and will not leave until I am one. After my wife thought about the hike a while she informed me that she was not staying at home alone. With that she said she was going with me. I know it will be a challage to have her with me but that is what she wants to do. So I welcomed her to go. We are both planning a flip-flop hike starting in june of 2006. I was planning a hike starting in April 2006 however classes changed and it will start in Waynesboro Va. I was thinking of a sobo hike but it is Hard hiking in Maine so we will do a flip-flop. We both are excited about getting away for the hike. I cant wait to see all you nobo hikers fly past us when we start hiking...we will be slow at the start I'm sure. But thanks to white blaze I changed from a sobo to a Flip-flop. I can't wait to start the hike, it keeps me going tro class. Thank you all for the support

[hikerjohnd]

Interesting answers so far to this question. It seems to be common here that the spouse is also a hiker, and I think that changes things. What about those with non-hiking, or non-exercising, spouses?

I hope to thru-hike in 5-7 years, when my two kids are grown. My husband makes fun of what I want to do. I don't think he's an atypical spouse at all, to be honest. When I get bummed about it, I read the book "On the Beaten Path", about a male thru-hiker with a borderline supportive wife. It helps me to believe a thru can be completed, even without much support at home.

I've often wondered if I'll still be married when I reach Katahdin

My wife is supportive - from the position of "I love you and will support you in all you do." The closer the date gets, the more indifferent and at times argumnetative she gets about issues. Subjects like my mail drops really set her on edge - I asked her if she wants to use the postage printing system on the PC, she said yes but doesn't want to watch me print a label so she will know how to do it. I have created an excel file with the details of my hike (rough itinerary, what to put in the mail drops, etc.) and every time I ask her if she knows how to use excel, I again get a cold response.

I don't expect her to be doing backflips or anything, but I have been planning this most of my life. I was going to do it before we got married. Things change, but the desire for the hike remained. I know we will still be married when I reach K, but I know things will be different; any event of this magnitude, if not shared by both people, always changes things.

[Footslogger]

Have you and your wife considered doing a hike together? I often wonder if hiking pace would make a couple's hike even more difficult.

======================================
...as a matter of fact we have !! She has about 3 - 4 years before getting tenure at the university, at which point she plans to take an extended leave and the two of us will probably head back east for another thru-hike ...this time TOGETHER !! ...that is, if we're not off somewhere scuba diving (our other shared insanity)

'Slogger
AT 2003

[Mags]

I am not married, but have had relationships end (in part) because of the wanderlust steak many of us share.

My on again/off again (alas, currently off again) girfriend of the past 1.5 yrs and I broke up in part because of the wanderlust streak. Her most telling line to me was "For you the outdoors is not a hobby, it is a lifestyle". The idea that I may take off again for weeks or months at a time is not the only cause for the relationship to not work but it certainly is a deep background issue. At a recent dinner at a friend's house, Mark told of us his plans to hike the PCT in 2007. Mark said "..and this will be my last big hike". My (former) girlfriend told Mark's fiance' "That's what they always say". Ouch!

As with many people in their early 30s, starting a family is on her mind. Somone whose future plans are a solo bike tour in Italy (this fall) and a leave of abscence (hopefully next year!) to hike th CDT does not meet the best criteria for "FUTURE FATHER TO MY CHIDREN (TM)."

Striking a balance between wanderlust and stability can be interesting. Have yet to find that balance. Sometimes I convince myself that I am content with my current life. A month's vacation is very generous. But, as Steinbeck said in TRAVELS WITH CHARLEY:

"When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch. When years described me as mature, the remedy prescribed was middle age. In middle age I was assured that greater age would calm my fever and now that I am fifty-eight perhaps senility will do the job. Nothing has worked. Four hoarse blasts of a ship's whistle still raise the hair on my neck and set my feet to tapping. The sound of a jet, an engine warming up, even the clopping of shod hooves on pavement brings on the ancient shudder, the dry mouth and vacant eye, the hot palms and the churn of stomach high up under the rib cage. In other words, I don't improve; in further words, once a bum, always a bum."

Never mind with a spouse, how do I hike having a girlfriend?

In the meantime, still trying to strike the balance.

Oh yes loved John's line here:

" but I know things will be different; any event of this magnitude, if not shared by both people, always changes things."

So true.

[MOWGLI]

Subjects like my mail drops really set her on edge - I asked her if she wants to use the postage printing system on the PC, she said yes but doesn't want to watch me print a label so she will know how to do it. I have created an excel file with the details of my hike (rough itinerary, what to put in the mail drops, etc.) and every time I ask her if she knows how to use excel, I again get a cold response.

If maildrops are gonna tick her off, don't do maildrops. If ever there was an overblown topic regarding AT planning, it is maildrops. Involve her in some other way.

[The Solemates]

I was wondering how your spouses handled your thru-hike. Were they supportive of the idea? How often did you see each other during the hike? How was your marriage when you got back?

If you thru-hiked together, how did that go?

We hiked together and it was great for our relationship. I would do it again in a heartbeat. She is a little more concerned about her career and spitting out a baby in a few years, but I may change her mind (or delay her planning) just yet.