Observations of My Hike to Date: 03 Apr 2012

[Old Hiker]

After a month on the Trail, losing 25 pounds and going REALLY slow, I had to take a down day in Hot Springs, NC to heal my left ankle. Watching everyone zip past me has allowed me to think and observe a few things. NOTE: THE FOLLOWING OBSERVATIONS ARE MY OPINIONS ONLY AND MY NOT BE USED FOR ANY TYPE OF LEGAL GARBAGE.

1. The sound of a 3 week old beard scraping across the top of a sleeping bag sounds exactly like the food-searching sniff of a North American black bear. The sound will NOT stop until you quit frantically whipping your head back and forth trying to figure out which side of the totally dark tent said bear is on.

2. There is an inverse proportional relationship between the F* word and age. That is, the closer to the age of 20, the more the F* word appears in ordinary conversation. Once the age appears to reach 50 or so, the F* seems not to be used except when face planting in the middle of a muddy trail after a long day. This use of the word seems to be in no way inhibited by the presence of females, either young or not so young.

3. When an old guy uses a bottle to...... go in the night instead of getting up twice or even three times in the cold/rain/fog/wind, it can confuse young guys:
a. Young guy #1: Dude! Your f*in stomach was f*in loud last f*n night!!! F*n, f*n.

b. Young guy #2: Dude! I f*n thought it was YOUR f*n stomach being f*n loud last f*n night! F*n, f*n, f*n.

c. Old guy to himself: F*n idiots.

4. Ron Haven is one of the nicest and most informative Trail Angels to date. He and his staff in Hiawassee and Franklin go above and beyond what is expected in any 5 star hotel.

5. When coming down to Newfound Gap and the NOC shuttle is not to be seen, Mr. Booth was both an unexpected and deeply appreciated Trail Angel. His hot grilled cheese, chips, drink and brownies, plus the ride to Gatlinburg will never be forgotten.

6. The views from Clingman's Dome are vastly over-rated, especially in 35 mph wind, driving rain and 40 foot visibility from the fog.

7. Charlie's Bunion was GREAT!

8. Standing Bear Farm was pretty interesting until later that day when I found that some hiker had stolen 2 meals from my pack. May Karma be swift and sure.

9. A shower and laundry do wonders for morale. So do wet-wipes, but never mind.

10. I can't remember 90% of the songs I want to sing while moving down the Trail.

11. Wall spaces in shelters in the Smokies rock.

12. The rumors of bears in the Smokies are just that: rumors. I firmly believe any bear sightings are actually thru-hikers who hire out to earn money by putting on bear suits for the tourists.

13. Blessings be on the architect who put a roof around the FAA tower on Snowbird Mountain. Just sayin'. Not that I would EVER trespass in the face of an oncoming thunderstorm to camp under a roof.

14. Pea size hail doesn't sting THAT much while hiking up a mountain. At least, not after your hands get numb.

15. Max Patch brought tears to my eyes.

16. After 1000 - 1500 steps up a steep slope, I have to pause to catch my breath and drink. It used to be 50 - 100!

17. I'm not sure why, but I'll walk up to .5 miles to a privy, but won't walk .2 miles or over to a shelter or water source.

18. Wet toilet paper is sub-standard for the job. Any job.

19. I have had an epiphany: 2 hiking staffs are better than one. I still use a hoe handle and a regular "woods" stick, as I don't want to trust my 180 (!!!!!) pounds to a thin metal pole, but the two poles do help power up the slopes and help to keep my feet under me when going down slopes.

20. My rain pants and regular pants don't fit any more and I don't want to waste money on more.

21. As I type these "observations", I keep looking at the hills and wish I was up there again. The topos look like it's my type of terrain: moderate ups and downs and lots of flats.

22. The moon shining through rhododendron leaves and making beautiful shadow patterns on your tent walls is worth waking up for a couple of times at night.

23. When you break a hiking staff you've had for 24+ years, it's like losing a good friend.

24. When you see an 8 foot band of yellow the entire width of Fontana Lake, you're pretty sure there is pollen out.

25. My pollen allergies have turned me into a hiking mouth breather. Claritin takes the edge off, but my nose has been plugged and/or running for over 3 weeks now.

Any-hoo, that's about it for this set. I gotta go elevate my ankle and ice it down. Hike on, everyone!

[Jeff]

Great post.

[V Eight]

Thanks for the update!

[Miami Joe]

F*n pollen

[acme]

thanks Old Hiker, fun to read post.

[weary]

Thanks Old Hiker. You've brought back a lot of old memories.

[Chubbs4U]

Was looking for the "like" button.

[WingedMonkey]

c. Old guy to himself: F*n idiots.

If only they could read our minds.

[Northern Lights]

Nice post, now I am even more excited about my trip to the Smokies later this month!

[rockerZ71]

hope that ankle heals quick, thanks for posting

[Creek Dancer]

Best post of the season! Maybe I will see you on the trail later this month. Heal well, and hike forth.

[lemon b]

Thank you. Can relate to part 2 of #9.

[FatMan]

Thanks for great post. Hope your ankle heals in short order.

[P-Train]

Well put. Good show.

[Rocket Jones]

Thanks for sharing that!

[heavyfoot]

Excellent post.

[solobip]

F*N Awesome

[springerfever]

Thoroughly enjoyed your 'observations'. Seems to me, you have the perfect attitude to get the most out of your hike. Good luck and keep us posted!

[HiKen2011]

Thanks for that post! At 53 I can relate! Thanks again and good luck!!!!!

[Energizer Bunny]

Awesome post! Thanks for that take in things :-)