this is where we differ. i look at staying in a shelter as being a voluntary action.
all the smokers i met were very polite and i saw no drinking to excess at shelters, but i do hike off season. nobody forces me into the woods with my hammock, its my choice. there are many reasons not to stay at shelters besides things you have mentioned already. if you want to stay, STAY. they can't force you to leave, but choose your battles wisely.
i don't schedule my hiking around anybody. i normally hike alone or in a loose group that tends to change daily. i try not to let people steal my peace of mind. i do this by slowly changing me. my blood pressure is back in line. life is good. i just smile and think "but by the grace of God go I"
Happy Trails
KK