Please Help Lessen My Mother's Fears!

[Jsporn]

I'm starting my thru-hike next year around March 10th or 11th. I'm a 21 year old male who's graduating college early to start. I'm all ready and raring to go, but I'm still having trouble getting my parents, especially my mother, on board with the trip.

My mother is insistent on me starting with someone, but I have yet to find anyone to go with, and I really am keen on starting alone. I know I won't be alone in the beginning and I've heard it even gets pretty crowded in Georgia, but she still insists. How can I assure her I'll be safe?

Also, she's afraid I won't have any cell-phone coverage on the trail. I have Verizon. Will there be good cellphone coverage, so I can help assuage her worries?

Thanks!

[WingedMonkey]

Show here some of the Trail Journals, pointing out photos of the crowds around all the shelters.

[HikerMom58]

I'm starting my thru-hike next year around March 10th or 11th. I'm a 21 year old male who's graduating college early to start. I'm all ready and raring to go, but I'm still having trouble getting my parents, especially my mother, on board with the trip.

My mother is insistent on me starting with someone, but I have yet to find anyone to go with, and I really am keen on starting alone. I know I won't be alone in the beginning and I've heard it even gets pretty crowded in Georgia, but she still insists. How can I assure her I'll be safe?

Also, she's afraid I won't have any cell-phone coverage on the trail. I have Verizon. Will there be good cellphone coverage, so I can help assuage her worries?

Thanks!

Awww... I feel her pain and she sounds just like me when my daughter wanted to start hiking alone in 2008.

You will have the best cell phone coverage on the trail with Verizon. That's a fact.

If she's good with "talking" to strangers? Have her PM me on here, so we can "talk", if you/she wants too. I will be more than happy to be her friend. I can introduce her to other moms on here as well. I can help her by understanding how she feels and then help her understand how those fears can be overcome with knowledge.

WM is correct in advising you to let her know that you won't be alone at all... and you WON'T be.

Also, I would be shocked if you could not actually find someone on WB that will be starting the same time as you are... look at the 2013 registry for others start dates .... I bet you could find someone on there.

Hope this helps.

[Rocket Jones]

My understanding is that Verizon has the best coverage along the AT, but unless you're along a ridgeline the coverage may be spotty. Personally, my cell phone stays turned off and stowed in my pack. It's there as an emergency communications device, not to ensure I'm contactable 24/7.

Consider carrying a SPOT. Extra uneccessary weight (IMO), but worth it if it will ease her fears.

[snifur]

You are 21 years old. By the time I was your age I was serving in a foreign dust and sand pit. You are able to make these decisions and take responsibility for yourself. Man up, open the door, and hit the trail. She needs to let go for you. Otherwise you will miss out on an experience that most dont get to have. You will blame her if she does not let go. There is no lack of people during the time you plan on starting. There are so many people on the trail you will have trouble finding alone time. Make your mother start with you. That will convince her.

[OzJacko]

Print this page, show it to her and then explain it represents about 10% (maybe 15%) of the people starting.
http://www.whiteblaze.net/cmps.php?page=2013thruhikers

[Lone Wolf]

You are 21 years old. By the time I was your age I was serving in a foreign dust and sand pit. You are able to make these decisions and take responsibility for yourself. Man up, open the door, and hit the trail. She needs to let go for you. Otherwise you will miss out on an experience that most dont get to have. You will blame her if she does not let go. There is no lack of people during the time you plan on starting. There are so many people on the trail you will have trouble finding alone time. Make your mother start with you. That will convince her.

what snifur says. or tell mom you'll join the Marine Corps instead. seriously, you're 21 for gods sake

[HikerMom58]

what snifur says. or tell mom you'll join the Marine Corps instead. seriously, you're 21 for gods sake

He could do that if he wanted to blow off his parent's (mom's) feelings...

[Moose2001]

Mom's tend to do the freak out thing don't they! I was 48 the first time I hiked the AT and my Mom was freaked out at the idea. She wanted me to carry a gun and was sure the bears would eat me before I got out of Georgia! As others have said, I think some education and getting to know about the AT is the only way to calm her fears. I see you live in New York City! The AT is MUCH safer than walking around in NYC! I also know if you allow her fears to dictate your life, then you'll regret it for years to come.

[swjohnsey]

Tell her that if you don't hike the AT you can buy a motorcycle.

[Karma13]

I'm still having trouble getting my parents, especially my mother, on board with the trip.

My mother is insistent on me starting with someone, but I have yet to find anyone to go with, and I really am keen on starting alone. I know I won't be alone in the beginning and I've heard it even gets pretty crowded in Georgia, but she still insists.

Question: Are you trying to be kind to your mother? Or are you looking at her and your father to be your home support for your hike?

I only ask because you say 'insistent,' and 'she insists,' etc. How can she insist? You're 21.

If you're trying to reduce her worry and you're hiking anyway, then some of the suggestions above are wonderful. Also, approach it responsibly: lay out your contingency plans for her, all the plans you have in place for what might happen, and how you're going to prevent it. Show that you're responsible and you have a plan.

If it's less about worry and more about getting her on board so she can work for your hike, I'd suggest you let that go. The most responsible solution might be to find somebody else to be your home support, or figure out a way to hike without it.

Just a thought. Good luck to you and to your parents. I hope you have a great hike.

[snifur]

HikerMomKD, mothers have to let go. Do not encourage the idea that feelings will be hurt. There is an epidemic today where men are confused about their roles in life. Learning independence and responsibility for your own actions is a lesson every man should learn. The trail is a great place to start. Moms need to let go of their babies and let them enjoy life. Otherwise the kid will have no idea how to adjust on his own when he is forced to. Stop mothering people and let them learn. Feelings...haha ha ha. Feelings...

[HikerMom58]

Question: Are you trying to be kind to your mother? Or are you looking at her and your father to be your home support for your hike?

I only ask because you say 'insistent,' and 'she insists,' etc. How can she insist? You're 21.

If you're trying to reduce her worry and you're hiking anyway, then some of the suggestions above are wonderful. Also, approach it responsibly: lay out your contingency plans for her, all the plans you have in place for what might happen, and how you're going to prevent it. Show that you're responsible and you have a plan.

If it's less about worry and more about getting her on board so she can work for your hike, I'd suggest you let that go. The most responsible solution might be to find somebody else to be your home support, or figure out a way to hike without it.

Just a thought. Good luck to you and to your parents. I hope you have a great hike.

Love the questions here... so much we don't understand about the OP & where he's coming from... good job Karma13. Now on to respond to snifur....

[HikerMom58]

HikerMomKD, mothers have to let go. Do not encourage the idea that feelings will be hurt. There is an epidemic today where men are confused about their roles in life. Learning independence and responsibility for your own actions is a lesson every man should learn. The trail is a great place to start. Moms need to let go of their babies and let them enjoy life. Otherwise the kid will have no idea how to adjust on his own when he is forced to. Stop mothering people and let them learn. Feelings...haha ha ha. Feelings...

Feelings...haha ha ha. Feelings...[/QUOTE] That's a problem for you? Whoa... you are tellin wayyy to much on yourself.

Ok... my computer is acting weird so I just lost my response.. I have to go do other things right now but this is what I addressed first thing. Later....

[Captain Blue]

Tell mom to land her helicopter. The hovering days are over. The best thing you can do is stay in regular contact with her while on the trail. Cell phone coverage won't be an issue. Email her lots of photos of you on the trail. Ask her to come and meet you along the trail.

[turtle fast]

I think your mothers fears are with the fact of the "unknown" to her....many people do not understand the trail environment and have misconceived notions of how it is out there. In reality you will find others like yourself hiking and you do naturally make friendships....so its not like you are hiking it absolutely alone. As well it may pay to let your mom be a part of your planning and support system at home when you need to be sent something. I find that a good AT trail map on the wall with a pin in it to mark where you are when you contact home helps a lot (Yes I know very low tec). With a little education goes a long way to understanding the trail and may help calm your mothers fears.

[Berserker]

Not to pry into your personal business or sound crass, but is this about money or are you just trying to be considerate? I know when I was 21 I wasn't in a position to fully financially support myself (still a full time college student), so my parents helped me out financially. So when it came to things directly related to their financial support I went to them to discuss. For everything else I did what I wanted. So if it's just about being considerate then nicely tell them your doing this thing. If it's about money then I guess you'll need to do some sweet talking .

Oh, and by the way I haven't thru hiked, but I can concur with the others that have replied that there are plenty of people out on the trail during the "thru" season. Also, I have Verizon, and have only had issues with service in MD, and low lying areas thus far.

[Odd Man Out]

A conversation between my great-grandfather Gunnar and his mother Selma:

Gunnar: Now that I am an 18 year old man, I am going to sail to America to seek my fortune.
Selma: But Gunnar, how will I talk to you? Can you use the wireless on the ship to send a telegram every day?
Gunnar: Don't be silly. After I get to America in a couple of months I will travel to Nebraska and become a farmer. When I get there I will write a letter. You should hear from me some time next year.
Selma: I insist that you find someone to travel with.
Gunnar: But mother, if I can't find someone, how will I seek my fortune? Besides, there are many of us Swedes emigrating to America these days so I will not be alone.
Selma: How will I know if you are safe?
Gunnar: Our life here in Oland is very hard. I will be safer in America than if I stayed here. You don't need to worry. The people in America are very nice.
Selma: But when will I see you again?
Gunnar: Even if I am a successful farmer, I probably won't have enough time and money to come back to Sweden, so you will never see me again.
Selma: OK - I love you and wish you the best.

Ask your mother if she is glad that our immigrant ancestors were tougher than us.
(I apologize if my allegorical response is not straight forward enough for the Straight Forward forum).

[Donde]

Dude it's time cut the cord.

[RED-DOG]

The AT is a lot safer than driving to your nearest store for a gallon of Milk, and a box of Cookies