How do you deal with negative criticism?

[Hikes in Rain]

Thank you for your post. I wish I could find more of the “smile knowingly and nod type people”…. /sigh. The person quoted above actually asked why I wouldn’t just want to stick to the nicely manicured hikes that we have here on Long Island. I was kinda like, if you really need me to answer that question, it would just be a waste of time and energy.

You'll find a much higher percentage of those kinds of folks out on the trail. And you have a lot of help here, folks who'll be happy to discuss things. In fact, just try to keep us away!

[bear bag hanger]

I, as a guy, get the same criticism you mention. I don't worry about it. Every once in a blue moon, somebody says something useful that I wouldn't have heard if I refused to talk to anyone who has negative comments. I listen and let them make their comments, but in the end I forget about it, accept for that rare useful bit of knowledge I occasionally gain.

[Sailor (The other one)]

I'm an old man with a lot of experience with this "you can't do it," "you shouldn't do it," "it's too dangerous" sort of thing and, for what its worth, here's what I've learned.

When I was 17 my first car (a 10-year-old black Bonneville convertible that looked like the Batmobile) developed a gas tank leak. I decided to fix it. I can still hear my father yelling - literally yelling - "You can't do it." Well, I did it and all these years later I can still feel how good that was. Since then there have been times I've done it anyway and been successful, did it anyway and failed, and listened to them and chickened out and didn't do it and forever have wished I had. Now, many times I did it anyway and the results were awful and I suffered. But I still prefer how well I think of myself for trying. When I was trying to decide whether to quit my job and take the risk of being a freelance writer I prayed about it and what came to me was that I don't want to be lying on my death bed thinking "You chickens@$t."
It is not about what they say. It is about how you think of yourself.
My daughter moved to New York City alone and went to Mexico alone and Australia alone. I encouraged her and I supported her.
The fact that I worried about her is my problem.
Is it dangerous for a woman to hike the AT alone?
Living is dangerous for everyone.

[Storm]

Come on over to the Hikerboy Cafe here on whiteblaze. You can talk about hiking (and about anything else) without fear of anyone putting you down.

[Dogwood]

Don't give in to being ignorant(led around with rings through their noses on a leash) and fear based like the masses. Get informed, be wise, GO! You are not going to change everyone's mindset with words alone. Don't try. GO. DO. KINDLY SHARE AFTER.

YES, avoid the naysayers, but be willing to heed good advice and be wise enough to know when it's being offered. How much do non hikers really know about hiking anyway? AND, DO NOT get into discussions with them about guns, bears, rattlesnakes, alien abductions, metorites heading towards the Earth, politics, religion, etc either! You''ll probably be better off.

[Hosaphone]

Anyway, if I mention this to anyone other than the bf they all give comments that boil down to… “You’re young and female… obviously you are incapable.”

It even went as far as one guy, who I don’t know personally at all, told me, “It’s good you’re spending that much time researching it, maybe it will make you realize how bad of an idea it is.”

Tell them to FOAD.

[Another Kevin]

Tell them to FOAD.

There's no need to be rude; you can convey more or less the same message with, "Thank you for your concern, You're right that I've researched this rather extensively. From what I've learnt, it appears to be a good bit safer than you believe. I'm quite looking forward to the challenge."

Yes, the person belittling the original poster was quite impolite, but answering rudeness with more rudeness is unlikely to improve the situation.

[Creek Dancer]

Two words: Don't engage.

Make up your mind, and do what you want to do -- there's no need to discuss it with anybody or answer to anybody about it. Just smile and walk away. It's not like anything you say will change their opinion anyway.

Tossing a blanket over the gear is the way to go. Other hikers are "your people," anyway. Not non-hikers, who don't get it at all.

(And by the way... I'm a solo hiker, and I love it.)

+1 to Karma's comments. I learned a long time ago not to discuss my backpacking plans with people who have no clue. First I get the glazed over look...then the "she's nuts" look...then things go downhill from there with comments about my big stupid idea to hike alone. I stick to talking to other hikers and I am good with that.

[HikerMom58]

+1 to Karma's comments. I learned a long time ago not to discuss my backpacking plans with people who have no clue. First I get the glazed over look...then the "she's nuts" look...then things go downhill from there with comments about my big stupid idea to hike alone. I stick to talking to other hikers and I am good with that.

You gals are lucky that you even have the option to hike alone... I don't. Just the thought of it strikes fear in my heart. I know I've said this more than once on here, it's true. Kinda like someone that can't get on an airplane. I can do airplanes, no prob. I think hiking alone is the only thing that I'm clearly not able to do. So xpaeanx-be thankful that you can hike alone and enjoy yourself. This is a great thread btw. You received plenty of great advice. THankfully for me, I have plenty of people to get out and hike with...

[Tinker]

Don't let people (of any gender) put you into a box. You are who YOU are, and that's a wonderful thing. I have a story which I'd like to share with you that I might be able to truly sympathize with you.

I worked for a couple of years in a retail establishment which was female run and some of these women had been under the boot of macho types (that you will undoubtedly encounter on a hike).

I did what I thought was exemplary work and generally got along with all my co-workers, but was passed up on several occasions for promotion in favor of less experienced and sometimes completely inept (it was discovered later) females.

When I brought this up before the management I was, basically, berated and told to suck it up and be a man (not those words, exactly, but that was the gist of it). Double standards abound in our nation of "sheeple".

I could say, "don't let it bother you", but I won't. It will bother you, and it should - not because of the fact that you feel insulted, but because those who seek to insult you are insecure themselves, and it should bother you that they have such a narrow view in such a wide world.

Take care and enjoy your hike.

[hikerboy57]

Don't let people (of any gender) put you into a box. You are who YOU are, and that's a wonderful thing. I have a story which I'd like to share with you that I might be able to truly sympathize with you.

I worked for a couple of years in a retail establishment which was female run and some of these women had been under the boot of macho types (that you will undoubtedly encounter on a hike).

I did what I thought was exemplary work and generally got along with all my co-workers, but was passed up on several occasions for promotion in favor of less experienced and sometimes completely inept (it was discovered later) females.

When I brought this up before the management I was, basically, berated and told to suck it up and be a man (not those words, exactly, but that was the gist of it). Double standards abound in our nation of "sheeple".

I could say, "don't let it bother you", but I won't. It will bother you, and it should - not because of the fact that you feel insulted, but because those who seek to insult you are insecure themselves, and it should bother you that they have such a narrow view in such a wide world.

Take care and enjoy your hike.

the only thing that should bother you is that those people have such miserable, compartmentalized lives


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4KfJztaJ5I




live your own life, not theirs

[Seabird]

I love this thread. I'm also planning on hiking alone, and just recently told my boss at work about it, and now she is very, very, very concerned... I'll just answer her easy questions (where will you sleep? What will you eat?), ignore the worries, and then go and do it and prove that I'll be fine.

[Toolshed]

It's not a big deal...really. People have a comfort zone whereby for many, hiking alone on what sounds like a "jungle" trail sounds peculiarly dangerous. It's like swimming in an are where there's gators. For people who swim there all the time, it's no big deal. for someone who has never swum in an area with wildlife larger than a trout, it seems like death waiting to happen. I don;t think people are really pinheads or trying to put you down or criticize. They are just stating their opinions based on their observations. After all, we judge ourselves based upon our intent. We judge others based on their behaviors....

[BigHodag]

It actually is risky for females to hike alone.

It actually is risky for males to hike alone. Risk respects no gender.

xpaeanx, go for your section hike. I likely hiked the same section SOBO this past Spring as did "Mel" an 18-year old female hiking alone. She did fine. No one bothered her.

Mel did however decide to hike on past a shelter one evening for the Shenandoah campsite. There was someone parked under the nearby (1/4 mile) highway underpass that even I found creepy. There were several of us at the shelter later and she would have been safe, but she exercised discretion, grabbed water and moved on. I have done the same when a crossing didn't feel right due to a non-hiker being present.

I do hours of research in preparation for my section hikes. Its only prudent to know how to get to and from the trail, where you can camp, locations of water, and how you plan to self-rescue in case of injury on any given day.

Good hiking!

[WalksInDark]

If a stranger (male or female) starts telling you what a bad idea it is for a woman to be hiking the trail alone.....and you really, really, don't want to be bothered by them any more....just say the following sentence while keeping a completely straight face:

"Ever since my sex reassignment surgery, I have wanted to get back on the trail and see if it felt any different hiking without a penis."



I guarantee you that any stranger who hears that line, will be making a beeline down the trail and you won't be bothered any further by them or their comments.

[Dogwood]

Hystertical, WID. I would try that but don't enjoy hiking in women's clothing.

[david_1]

I’ve always hiked with someone… usually my bf.
they all give comments that boil down to… “You’re young and female… obviously you are incapable.”

I hope your not listening too them, Go hike and have some fun.
Me being older and male would want you to be safe and any advice given would be the same as I give my daughter
"dont let yourself get into a situation you dont like"
but I would still be more happy knowing your out hiking than out in any big town. but that is because i dont trust all the other guys LOL

[wicca witch]

Xpaeanx,4get bout what others say 2 put u down. Girl get out there & hike your own hike. When u r finished u can throw it
in their faces. Just b cautious of your surroundings. Hiking SOLO is the only way i hike. Carry mace,also a well charged cell.
I have confidence that u can do it

[SawnieRobertson]

It actually is risky for females to hike alone.

And for men. Same when I cross the street even with the traffic light telling me to cross. Of course, maybe hat is not because I am old and feeble but rather because some guy thinks I wouldn't want to cross the street all by myself, especially dressed like that, unless I wanted to be run over.

[campingfever]

Plan your hike. Set a date. Hike your hike. You will love it!