Is it selfish for married person to do thur-hike?

[rocketsocks]

i have been single since my divorce 16 yrs ago and ive never ever felt lonely.im very social(hey im in sales), but when im alone, im very comfortable in my own skin. never lonely.
never truly alone.

Man I hear ya, I have never felt alone and never been bored...ever, but for those that do..it's a shame!

[rocketsocks]

Selfish, is not necessarily a bad thing, but lets call it what it is. By it's own definition it's Self and ish, if your going...there's the self, and if your a lone....there's the ish.

or somethin like that, pretty close tho, eh!

[BirdBrain]

I am sure this is an interesting read for the OP. It doesn't take Doctor Phil to see where people's hearts and goals are at. I would suggest this: If you want to know how to do a thru hike, pick the brains of someone who has done it, not people who have read books on it only. If you want to know how to have a successful marriage, talk to people who are happy in their marriage after decades of marriage, not people who have been married for a few years. It is just a matter of what you want. You want to be the tough guy and tell her what is what and find someone new if she doesn't like it, you will get your wish. You want to be alone, that is fine too. This is a free country. I, personally, think a happy lasting marriage is the best thing a man can ever hope to acquire. I have one. It takes work. I takes selflessness. I can understand people that don't have one. I can understand the bitterness, frustration, and denial. You don't have to go my way. I am not saying my way is the only way. That would be ridiculous. I am saying that I have a happy and successful and lasting marriage. I have done it and am doing it. You want what I have? Talk to someone like me. You don't want what I have? Well keep hanging out with the tough guys. You will feel good about yourself... for a few years.

I have said enough on this thread though. For what it is worth mountainman, you are on my prayer list. I believe you deserve this hike. I believe you can find and will find that compromise, if you love your wife and she loves you.

[bfayer]

Marriage is team sport. How many teams win in the long run when the individual players call their own plays?

[HikerMom58]

I am sure this is an interesting read for the OP. It doesn't take Doctor Phil to see where people's hearts and goals are at. I would suggest this: If you want to know how to do a thru hike, pick the brains of someone who has done it, not people who have read books on it only. If you want to know how to have a successful marriage, talk to people who are happy in their marriage after decades of marriage, not people who have been married for a few years. It is just a matter of what you want. You want to be the tough guy and tell her what is what and find someone new if she doesn't like it, you will get your wish. You want to be alone, that is fine too. This is a free country. I, personally, think a happy lasting marriage is the best thing a man can ever hope to acquire. I have one. It takes work. I takes selflessness. I can understand people that don't have one. I can understand the bitterness, frustration, and denial. You don't have to go my way. I am not saying my way is the only way. That would be ridiculous. I am saying that I have a happy and successful and lasting marriage. I have done it and am doing it. You want what I have? Talk to someone like me. You don't want what I have? Well keep hanging out with the tough guys. You will feel good about yourself... for a few years.

I have said enough on this thread though. For what it is worth mountainman, you are on my prayer list. I believe you deserve this hike. I believe you can find and will find that compromise, if you love your wife and she loves you.

BB- he does love his wife.. the OP said it earlier. He's only got a few more miles till he finishes the entire trail. He just was saying he wishes he could have done the miles differently, that's all.
I'm the Doctor Phil wanna be on this site My mind is constantly reading peeps and trying to understand where they are coming from. ;P You share from your heart and that's why we love ya, BB.

Marriage is team sport. How many teams win in the long run when the individual players call their own plays?

Love it bfayer...it's a team sport for sure.

[BirdBrain]

Marriage is team sport. How many teams win in the long run when the individual players call their own plays?

+ 1 million on that one.

[Trance]

Isnt marriage about helping each other? What about helping and supporting each others goals, maybe even if you dont agree with them or want to be a part of them?

Instead of your wife giving you a guilt trip, perhaps she should trying being alittle more supportive imo.

[BirdBrain]

Marriage is team sport. How many teams win in the long run when the individual players call their own plays?

+ 1 million on that one.

[BirdBrain]

BB- he does love his wife.. the OP said it earlier. He's only got a few more miles till he finishes the entire trail. He just was saying he wishes he could have done the miles differently, that's all.
I'm the Doctor Phil wanna be on this site My mind is constantly reading peeps and trying to understand where they are coming from. ;P You share from your heart and that's why we love ya, BB.

I agree. He loves his wife. He was also getting bad advice. My pointed remarks were directed at them not him. He deserves this hike. If he does it against her will, he is selfish. If she does not let him go, she is selfish. It is what it is. Just hoping for a non-selfish result.

[rocketsocks]

Marriage is team sport. How many teams win in the long run when the individual players call their own plays?

That's gooooood

[rocketsocks]

I agree. He loves his wife. He was also getting bad advice. My pointed remarks were directed at them not him. He deserves this hike. If he does it against her will, he is selfish. If she does not let him go, she is selfish. It is what it is. Just hoping for a non-selfish result.

Hammer, meet Mr. nail head.....

Yep My comments here are not really directed at Mountainman...more to the question really...cause personally, I don't care what anyone does, people do what they do, and so do I...the world keeps spinning!

[kayak karl]

should of gotten a "Thru Hike Prenup"

[rocketsocks]

should of gotten a "Thru Hike Prenup"

I just spotted

[HikerMom58]

I agree. He loves his wife. He was also getting bad advice. My pointed remarks were directed at them not him. He deserves this hike. If he does it against her will, he is selfish. If she does not let him go, she is selfish. It is what it is. Just hoping for a non-selfish result.

I agree with ya, BB. It's called hitting a brick wall. It's the point in the marriage when you have to dig deep. I think we've all been there after this many years of marriage. (32 yrs. for me) It's rewarding when you work it all out & find peace. There's no reason why you can't find peace, but it's hard work, at some points. You have to be with someone that's committed & willing to get in the trenches with you. Then, other times it's a walk in the park. I like those times the BEST!

[Lone Wolf]

He loves his wife. He deserves this hike.

what hike? he never said he wants to thru-hike. he's almost done with the trail

[BirdBrain]

My wife thinks it is selfish for a married person to want to do a thur-hike. I have done 1930 mi. so for hiking no more than a week at a time. This has to be the hardest way to do the AT. Anyone else been told this is selfish?

Sounds like a desire to thru-hike to me. What am I missing?

[BirdBrain]

what hike? he never said he wants to thru-hike. he's almost done with the trail

I see your point. I may have misread his intent. So busy debating "I'm the man and she better" types, I missed that nuance.

[BirdBrain]

And once again, I agree with LW. Sorry LW, but I may be developing a bad reputation for you. Guilty by association.

[BFI]

What was the question ????

[kyhipo]

Your right...no one does care about your thru-hike, so if that is your claim to fame, then that's ALL you got and your the only one that will care. Typically having wives and kids are what your legacy is. We share different opinions on this one. I wouldn't be going on this hike at all if I wasn't taking my kids and that is the truth. This is about THEM, not me. Most things I do in life is about THEM. So my personal decision is making the kids a memory that they will remember forever OR making my wife happy (if that's the case). It's all about priority.

You said it yourself all through this thread that he should have done it before he got married. That basically is saying in my opinion that once you GET married, every decision you make has to be OK with your wife.

If that was the case, the PLAYOFFS would never be on my TV...If that was the case, Id never drink a beer. If that was the case, Id never curse. If that was the case, Id be in a doctors office EVERY TIME I didn't feel well. The truth is that sometimes the women or men just gotta DEAL WITH IT. You can't have EVERYTHING you want. What is more important, a person doing something that they dream of that hurts NO ONE or giving it up, which helps no one.

Yes, you may say that it helps "her" because she is getting what she wants, but at what cost? How much exactly do people have to sacrifice because their loved one doesn't like it. Forget that. I'm watching the playoffs. I am going hiking if I want. If she doesn't like it, there are plenty more fish in the sea....period.

well I have personally quit my hike because I felt needed at home,when I was younger who cared!Its a bad feeling gator when things are not right!hiking is a blessing...ky,I get to watch any thing I want.