Getting discouraged....

[Tree Nerd]

So I plan to start my SOBO thru early July and lately I have been really discouraged about it. Besides the fact that I effed up my knee on a shake down hike on the Foothills Trail over spring break I have been really depressed and lonely. I feel like its hard to be excited about something when I have noone to share it with and when I feel like a failure (for not completing a 70 mile hike). I have been moping around the house, I haven't been on here for almost a week, and I cant even find the energy to do anything about my school work. I know, and I'm sure you figured that these problems go much deeper than my bum knee......some works of advice or encouragement would be nice.

[mikec]

Don't give up! Use common sense though. Your knee should heal by July. If it doesn't, thru hike next year. If you start and the knee gives you problems, either take some time off or come home and try again next year. Robert Schuller once said "Success is never ending. Failure is never final."

From my own experience I have been attempting to section hike the AT over the last 18 years. Sometimes I make progress. Sometimes I have to stop early. But I only have 350 miles to go in NH and ME. I'm not going to give up. And you shouldn't either. I wish you the best.

[Slo-go'en]

Sorry about the earlier responce..

[wren again]

Make sure you look at the list of symptoms for depression. If you think you might be depressed, take it seriously and do something to help yourself or to get help. Sunshine, a good diet with B vitamins, being outside, exercise, medicine if needed, being "gentle" with your expectations of yourself. (Sometimes it is hard to have the energy to do those things.) Talk to someone about it, friend, clergy, counselor, or post as you did.
Here's a good website. http://www.depressionhurts.ca/en/ This may not be what you are experiencing of course, but just in case, you may want to check it out.

[Flachenmann]

Don't give up Tree Nerd! I know the feeling. This past year for me hasn't been the happiest. I've been stuck in a university and town that I hate for the better part of a decade, though this past coupla years have been the worst cause all my friends and people I'd grown to love over those years have graduated and moved off to start their lives. The best word for how I've felt is "trapped". Trapped to the point of anxiety attacks and the kind of depression that just swallows up the day. But I don't get discouraged about my upcoming SOBO. I see this trek as a saving grace. It's the light at the end of a tunnel.

Don't feel like a failure about the shakedown hike. The knee will be fine by July, and as far as your thru there won't be any time limits like with just getting a week off for spring break. As far as being alone during the thru you'll meet plenty of people. There will be some lonely times, but it's SOBO, it's kinda part of it. Besides, I start late June. We might cross paths!

[Grampie]

Hay man, don't give up so easy. The year I started my thru I screwed up my knee skiing in Jan. I had a partial tear in my minuscas. By the end of April it felt good so I decided to continue with my plan to hike. I wore a neopreme knee brace just for some protection. I had a sucessfull thru-hike without any problems with my knee. I did this when I was 66 years old. Three weeks ago I finally had the knee fixed.
When you start, just remember, hiking is a lot like having sex. You think you can do a lot until you start. Pace yourself, be extra carefull in Maine. The trails have a lot of roots to trip you up. Settle for short days like 10-12 miles for the first couple of weeks. Your body has to get used to walking with a loaded pack. Don't rush, the trail will always be there to conquer. Happy trails to you and enjoy your hike.

[Malto]

I think you are looking at your failed training hike all wrong. While you may not have finished it, did you learn something on that trip that will help on your thru. Very likely yes. So go do another hike, for a weekend or even a long day hike and build on the positive. I can tell you that I only hit about 50% of my intended mileage or time goals. I push myself hard and get very aggressive goals. But some of my best training hikes were those that were failures. Good luck. Go hike.

[Teacher & Snacktime]

Think of your aborted 70 mile hike as a dress rehearsal....if it goes poorly, then the performance itself if bound to be a success!

I agree with Wren Again...go outside...fresh air and sunshine do wonders, even if it's cold. Get what exercise you can - endorphins make the world a better place!

[Tree Nerd]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement,

And if you were wondering (wren again) yes, its depression. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in high school; panic attacks were common, I was on meds, and other things happened that I don't like to speak of. Since I left for college I have met some really great people that have changed my life and I have worked through most of my problems and I have been symptom free for almost three years (besides the normal home sickness).

Ever since my shake down I have been in a funk. I know its wrong to look at it like i failed and didn't get anything from it, because I really enjoyed my time, I met great people, I learned a lot about my new gear, and found out how much my body can take. Between work, school, being the president of the forestry club, and on several planning committees across campus I have pretty much lost a lot of my friends and have zero free time to concentrate on myself. I know I over work myself and expect too much of myself, I always have.....as they say, "you are your own worst enemy".....I know I should be excited that everything is coming to an end (school, getting out of Lexington, a lot of my collegiate responsibilities, etc) and that my thru is almost here, but something is wrong. I haven't felt this bad for a couple years and I am not sure what caused it. It sucks.

[rocketsocks]

Buck up Tree Nerd, get the knee straightened out (no pun) the trail will be there. And don't think about it as one long single hike, but rather small section hikes, and go as far as you can go, it really is just that simple. And reach out or up when you need to

[Papa D]

dude, I've pulled the plug on a bunch of hikes, rock climbs, adventures, whatever - the cool thing about the trail is that it's cool just being on it. Just set out on your thru and see what happens. Y

You also need (it sounds) to prioritize the hike and ditch some of these other b.s. obligations - - focus on yourself - - your fitness, your general well being, and your plan

Also, for clinical depression, you might consider some meds (according to my wife who is a pharmacist). Look into a Wellbutrin script.

You'll be ok - good luck.

[melaniebk]

+1 on the Wellbutrin!

[MuddyWaters]

Sharing trail adventures with people that arent really into it and dont understand, isnt very satisfying anyway.

You will meet some great people out there, and have the time of your life. People that DO understand what its about. Look forward to that.

Most people get injured now and then, Better before, than during for sure. Get healthy, and go for it.

[FarmerChef]

+1 on the training hike being a success not a failure. It's often our "failures" that teach us the most about how to succeed.

I'm no doctor but it sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on that is about to change in a significant way. That usually impacts us in a big way emotionally. Stephen Covey calls it "Sharpening the Saw." Others call it "burning the candle at both ends." If you don't take time to invest in yourself you can very well use yourself up. Give yourself the freedom to take some time for you. With regard to your upcoming hike, I agree with others that suggest you get back out there again. Keep it very, very easy and do it to just enjoy it. Fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for the body and mind.

[HikerMom58]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement,

And if you were wondering (wren again) yes, its depression. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in high school; panic attacks were common, I was on meds, and other things happened that I don't like to speak of. Since I left for college I have met some really great people that have changed my life and I have worked through most of my problems and I have been symptom free for almost three years (besides the normal home sickness).

Ever since my shake down I have been in a funk. I know its wrong to look at it like i failed and didn't get anything from it, because I really enjoyed my time, I met great people, I learned a lot about my new gear, and found out how much my body can take. Between work, school, being the president of the forestry club, and on several planning committees across campus I have pretty much lost a lot of my friends and have zero free time to concentrate on myself. I know I over work myself and expect too much of myself, I always have.....as they say, "you are your own worst enemy".....I know I should be excited that everything is coming to an end (school, getting out of Lexington, a lot of my collegiate responsibilities, etc) and that my thru is almost here, but something is wrong. I haven't felt this bad for a couple years and I am not sure what caused it. It sucks.

Hummm..... sounds like it might be purely a chemical imbalance. I don't know if you are opposed to meds now or not. If you aren't, then, I would move forward with checking into that. Don't let the funk continue for very long without getting help with it.

You haven't felt this bad for a couple of years so you've got to determine the cause. There is a cause. You might just need some kind of boost for a short period of time. There's not a thing lacking with you, Tree Nerd.. you aren't a failure at all. In fact, you are STRONGER than the average person.

People have the sugar in their blood go wonkey, on them, sometimes, so they take insulin to correct the problem-they feel themselves again, OK? It's no different with you. Don't suffer needlessly. I understand, somewhat, what you are going through. PM me if you want to talk more about it.

[bstanga1]

Tree Nerd I tore my meniscus at the beginning of January playing flag football. The first thing I thought about was the hike. I'm a SOBO with a planned July 1 start date. I had a few little freak outs wondering if I was going to be able to do it. I decided that I would try and let it heal on its own and if it doesn't I was going to get an awesome knee brace and power through. Don't let the injury discourage you. You have 3+ months to heal and get better. Thats a lot of time. Mine felt great halfway through February. So just give it some time. I know the feeling of being stuck in school right now. I have 50 days until graduation. Just focus on how awesome the hike is going to be.

[Hairbear]

You didnt fail you were scouting the enemies weak point for later victory.

[Feral Bill]

Make sure you look at the list of symptoms for depression. If you think you might be depressed, take it seriously and do something to help yourself or to get help. Sunshine, a good diet with B vitamins, being outside, exercise, medicine if needed, being "gentle" with your expectations of yourself. (Sometimes it is hard to have the energy to do those things.) Talk to someone about it, friend, clergy, counselor, or post as you did.
Here's a good website. http://www.depressionhurts.ca/en/ This may not be what you are experiencing of course, but just in case, you may want to check it out.

+1 on this. I've been there, and, with help, got back. You can too. See a mental health professional you can trust, and take it from there. We're all pulling for you.

[Feral Bill]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement,

And if you were wondering (wren again) yes, its depression. It sucks.

Yes, It does. Sounds like you're on it. Let us know when you are feeling a bit better (I know that it takes time).

[Bronk]

Sounds to me like you need to do your hike more than ever.