Tips on how to Avoid Creepy Men!

[pnkwolfe]

Well as a younger man married, a long time ago, I hiked a section from DWG to Wind Gap.. I walked into a empty shelter, I was 4-6 miles on top of what I thought was a 15 mile hike on a summers day. I knew I was dehydrated after the 10th mile. I had made several gross errors on a hot summers day. Fat, out of shape, haven't hiked in years and wanted to make a difference in my life I wanted to hike again. I collapsed on the shelter in a seated position as this was the destination on the floor. I had no idea where the water source was. I sat there for a while - two (MY Guess) 20-30 year old women with huge packs came up to the shelter. She took one look at my sorry dehydrated old ass and asked "You staying here?" I said "yes" planning to set up a heavy tent from my heavy pack far closer to the spigot... My spoken words were without thought or merit. With thought and a man nearby she quickly said "lets get to town"... later I found out for this thru person more than 10 miles after a similar amount and they did most of it in the dark. So misjudged and at the time feeling awful from the hike - I never forgot the moment.

Happy Trails Girls - I hope you don't make the same mistakes, give it some thought - yes you need to think about your fears, what is real and imagined.

I don't post here often - but when I do - I really wait a few pages and give it some thought.. this posts was done before by me a few years ago in a similar thread.

Aww.. WOO. I feel bad that you were misjudged... that's horrible! I'm glad you posted.. I'm happy to see you!

I bet Owl felt bad at being misjudged. I bet he would have felt worse had he heat-stroked out for lack of somebody to help the creepy old guy. Glad you pulled through, Owl.

[HikerMom58]

I bet Owl felt bad at being misjudged. I bet he would have felt worse had he heat-stroked out for lack of somebody to help the creepy old guy. Glad you pulled through, Owl.

I agree with you pnkwolfe. People are judged unfairly all the time. I think in Owl's case, I would just keep talking... communicate, communicate. Like, Hey--- I'm not doing so well. I know you don't know me but I may need your help. I'm not a creepy guy just a lil dehydrated . It's a very humbling place to be...
People can't read your mind... you have to keep communicating. I'm guilty of thinking others can read my mind too. I do it all the time.

When people get comfortable around you they will ask you to do all kinds of favors for them. I was asked by a man, (I just met the day before) to help him put his socks on at the shelter. OKAY.. sure! He was a section hiker, first time out, I didn't mind but a lot of people wouldn't have done it or felt comfortable doing it. That's fine! Not sure what his motive was in asking me to help other than he was a struggling newbie backpacker, not in good shape.

[Nutbrown]

On the AT this year, there was one 'creepy guy' who got everyone's attention: Navigator. I encountered him in VA. In passing conversation, he had said that this was his third year in a row that he was attempting a thru-hike. Was a bit evasive about why he was unable to finish. Somewhere around Atkins or Pearisburg, he started hitting the sauce pretty hard (1 gal of wine in a sitting in Pearisburg). He started hitting on women & making them feel VERY uncomfortable. He tried picking fights with other hikers (police were called on him twice in Glasgow; I missed him by one day there). There were Police BOLOs (Be On LookOut) posted up & down the trail in hostels. I was asked by one trail angel in VT about him. Police were physically looking for him in NH @ the Welcome Hiker Hostel.

From the BOLO I read, there were no warrants issued for him at that time. Just a warning to watch out for him and to use caution when dealing with him as he had prior history for violence directed toward the police.

I wonder if he was the same creepy Navigator that my friends and I ran into a few years ago. He was indeed creepy, saying that his only reason for hiking was to get dirty hiker sex. We camped far away because of him.

[JohnnySnook]

Wow! This thread is a good read for both men and women! I'm sure woman out alone on the trail needs to be careful. They may feel alone and vulnerable on the trail, I would think more so in the first couple weeks or when locals are on the trail. I'm sure I'd be worried about my daughter, sister, or mom all the time.

If you real think about it how many women are raped or killed on the trail? I really have never looked to see. I think of the 5 murders in the recent years many where men. I have no idea about rapes.

I will say in any situation a confident woman is a force to be looked out for! I think most men will agree on this.

I do feel calling 911 on someone you just think is creepy kind of makes me irritated. If the guy is super creepy and asking many personal questions etc. but what if he just hasn't seen a good looking girl in a week and is being extra nice? Not all guys are bad.

I mean you could be a little buzzed at a party and a nice guys says "I'll walk you to your car" Next thing you know???? Thats for you fill into blanks. Could be locked up in a basement for years. If your extra flirty with a guy on the trail and he hits on you? What then. you didn't like him but? So don't do it.

When I hike the trail next year if you see a good looking 40 year old guy with a stringer full of fresh fish to share with a group of campers please don't come up and be extra nice to me. If you are I may get the wrong idea. So please don't call 911 on me. Thats what happens in many situations with a guy at a bar thats buy drink or maybe on trail with a steak or lobster he carried in. Women can try and manipulate the situation in their favor also. Just think about all the guys you would never hook up with but tease them for free drinks at a bar??

I would think if a woman knows the people in front of her and behind they will look out for her. If the guy gets aggressive they will stand up for her. If she falls for him and you wonder of to a tent with him then thats that.

Not sure if this makes total sense but I think some of it may ring true.

[10-K]

On the PCT in Oregon I hiked up behind a solo woman section hiker with a huge pack struggling up a climb. When she heard me I could tell she was startled and because I hadn't shaved in 3 months or bathed in quite a while I could instantly tell I made her nervous.

I just addressed it head on.. I said hi, my name is Tom, and my trail name is 10-k and that I was hiking the PCT. Then I told her that I was married, had 3 kids, lived in TN and was sorry if I made her nervous and asked if I could pass on her right. We hiked together for 9 miles after that, camped together at a lake and she woke up and told me bye when I hiked out in the morning..

[ChuckT]

Sum gun, common courtesy. And it worked. Now who'd a thunk it.
Seriously - as a society we need to practice that more!

[Wülfgang]

How about a thread on how to avoid judgmental women?

i realize men are the ones who generally make the headlines for predatorial attacks but this is an extremely small percentage of men. Many of us are getting tired and frankly put off by women arbitrarily assigning the "creepy" label to any unfamiliar male. Women tolerate absolutely zero judgment from men---fair or unfair---so maybe in the interest of the equality women are so concerned about you could stop labeling every unknown male a potential creep.

[Coffee]

This is one of those topics that seem to be more of a problem on the internet than in real life. I haven't encountered very many solo women on my hiking trips but those I have met didn't cower in fear or run away. Most participated in the usual trail talk without signs of being fearful at all.

Avoid the obviously problematic questions like "Where are you camping tonight?", "Are you hiking alone?", and do not view the trail as a dating scene and probably 90% of the time no one is going to feel threatened or uncomfortable.

[RED-DOG]

Yeah, except guys don't get nervous around them or fear for their safety.

Sent from my Galaxy Note 2 using Tapatalk 2

I wouldn't bet on that women can be just as mean and violent as a guy can.
Most women blows a simple conversation way out of context.

[Traffic Jam]

I have never met a man on the trail that I labeled as "creepy". However, I recently had an uncomfortable encounter and made a classic mistake. I allowed a guy who was mentally "off" to walk up to me and take something out of my hand all because I didn't want to be judgmental and offend him. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Sorry guys, I don't care if you're the nicest one on the planet, the next time that happens I'm going to be assertive and judgmental.

Seriously, man or woman, just be smart and respectful.

[jimmyjam]

[QUOTE=RED-DOG;1907872]I wouldn't bet on that women can be just as mean and violent as a guy can.


You must be talking about my evil sister.lol

Sent from my SCH-S720C using Tapatalk 2

[Traveler]

As an observation.... "Creepy" is a purely subjective term. I had a buddy I hiked with for a number of years. His company was great, he was exceptionally intelligent, was well experienced outdoorsman who added a lot to the days conversation from identifying subspecies of trees and wildflower to pursuing the concept of the superior being. He wasn't well dressed most of the time, his clothes were ill fitting giving him an unkempt look, he didn't shave while on the trail and his beard was spotty that further detracted from his physical appearance giving him a rather odd look. He also wouldn't look at you when he spoke, finding his words somewhere on the ground between him and the person he was talking to. His sense of humor was not what I would call bad, but sometimes poorly positioned in a group. Suffice to say, one needed a bit of time around him to "get" him.

I once made it to a shelter about an hour before he arrived. There was a group of people there, several women and men and I had a chance to hear the comments made about this fellow as he came into the shelter area and went about his business of unpacking for a meal and trying to have an exchange with new people. "Creepy" was a term used by the women pretty much exclusively, the men tended not to use many if any labels of that type. My pal was indeed sensitive to how he appeared to women when he was in "trail mode" and tried hard to avoid any conflicts and interact, but truth of the matter was, he was awkward around new people, especially women and tended to overcompensate.

There is a wide assortments of characters on the trail at any given time. Some are flamboyantly oddball in nature, others quiet to sullen. It's very easy to make a snap judgement of folks in the trail environment. I understand there is a different reality for women than men in society overall and as a result I think women may have additional filters they use to look at men as they appear in their world. However, after hearing the small crowd around a shelter discussing my friend before they knew we were together, it opened my eyes to how quickly people tend to reach a conclusion based on very little. Though sometimes this filtering works well and gets people away from those they feel may be dangerous or pose a problem. I believe this also limits the spectrum of acquaintances on a trail when using the same filters used in daily life. While there may be some "creeps" on the trail their numbers are small compared to those who aren't.

Perhaps the best way to avoid "creeps" on the trail is to examine the filters one uses in daily life and how they are applied into the atypical environment of trail life

[ChuckT]

AT traveler I think you nailed it in your last paragraph.

[Coffee]

There are going to be eccentric people on the trail but not all eccentric people are creepy. And some perfectly sociable people may end up being creeps. The worst sociopaths in the world are often charming sociable people.

A well known psychologist, Daniel Kahneman, wrote a book entitled "Thinking Fast and Slow" a few years ago. I read it to help with my decision making in business but the principles are equally valid in the context of this discussion. People make snap decisions about others ... Thinking fast ... And those decisions are not always optimal. However, there are powerful evolutionary reasons for how we think and it is perhaps understandable for people alone and miles from civilization to make snap judgements about others. Unfortunately this mental pattern could lead to unfairly stigmatizing others and/or provide a false sense of complacency by automatically assuming that sociable and attractive people are not creeps.

[Ground Control]

As an observation.... "Creepy" is a purely subjective term. I had a buddy I hiked with for a number of years. His company was great, he was exceptionally intelligent, was well experienced outdoorsman who added a lot to the days conversation from identifying subspecies of trees and wildflower to pursuing the concept of the superior being. He wasn't well dressed most of the time, his clothes were ill fitting giving him an unkempt look, he didn't shave while on the trail and his beard was spotty that further detracted from his physical appearance giving him a rather odd look. He also wouldn't look at you when he spoke, finding his words somewhere on the ground between him and the person he was talking to. His sense of humor was not what I would call bad, but sometimes poorly positioned in a group. Suffice to say, one needed a bit of time around him to "get" him.

I once made it to a shelter about an hour before he arrived. There was a group of people there, several women and men and I had a chance to hear the comments made about this fellow as he came into the shelter area and went about his business of unpacking for a meal and trying to have an exchange with new people. "Creepy" was a term used by the women pretty much exclusively, the men tended not to use many if any labels of that type. My pal was indeed sensitive to how he appeared to women when he was in "trail mode" and tried hard to avoid any conflicts and interact, but truth of the matter was, he was awkward around new people, especially women and tended to overcompensate.

There is a wide assortments of characters on the trail at any given time. Some are flamboyantly oddball in nature, others quiet to sullen. It's very easy to make a snap judgement of folks in the trail environment. I understand there is a different reality for women than men in society overall and as a result I think women may have additional filters they use to look at men as they appear in their world. However, after hearing the small crowd around a shelter discussing my friend before they knew we were together, it opened my eyes to how quickly people tend to reach a conclusion based on very little. Though sometimes this filtering works well and gets people away from those they feel may be dangerous or pose a problem. I believe this also limits the spectrum of acquaintances on a trail when using the same filters used in daily life. While there may be some "creeps" on the trail their numbers are small compared to those who aren't.

Perhaps the best way to avoid "creeps" on the trail is to examine the filters one uses in daily life and how they are applied into the atypical environment of trail life

Eloquently stated; such an excellent point.

"If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view -- until you climb in his skin and walk around in it." -Atticus Finch

[Sarcasm the elf]

It infuriates me when people who have never hiked with a dog jump into the the Dogs on the A.T. Forum and spout off their half formed opinions about what my dog and I should be doing when we are on the trail.

I can only imagine that the women on this site feel the same way each time men take over a thread in the female hiking forum...

[Another Kevin]

As an observation.... "Creepy" is a purely subjective term. I had a buddy I hiked with for a number of years. His company was great, he was exceptionally intelligent, was well experienced outdoorsman who added a lot to the days conversation from identifying subspecies of trees and wildflower to pursuing the concept of the superior being. He wasn't well dressed most of the time, his clothes were ill fitting giving him an unkempt look, he didn't shave while on the trail and his beard was spotty that further detracted from his physical appearance giving him a rather odd look. He also wouldn't look at you when he spoke, finding his words somewhere on the ground between him and the person he was talking to. His sense of humor was not what I would call bad, but sometimes poorly positioned in a group. Suffice to say, one needed a bit of time around him to "get" him.

Wow, I didn't know you'd met me on the trail!

It infuriates me when people who have never hiked with a dog jump into the the Dogs on the A.T. Forum and spout off their half formed opinions about what my dog and I should be doing when we are on the trail.

I can only imagine that the women on this site feel the same way each time men take over a thread in the female hiking forum...

This site needs a 'like' button. Can I plead that I follow this thread for my daughter's sake? (No, not really, Kevin. She's a grown woman and can look after herself!) And in a mostly-vain attempt to learn how not to be creepy? (Won't work, Kevin. Your first impression will always be a bit "off". You are a bit off!)

[10-K]

I can only imagine that the women on this site feel the same way each time men take over a thread in the female hiking forum...

Especially when the thread is about birth control, periods, and bras.

[Traffic Jam]

Wow, I didn't know you'd met me on the trail!



This site needs a 'like' button. Can I plead that I follow this thread for my daughter's sake? (No, not really, Kevin. She's a grown woman and can look after herself!) And in a mostly-vain attempt to learn how not to be creepy? (Won't work, Kevin. Your first impression will always be a bit "off". You are a bit off!)

As long as you are thinking logically and making rational statements, I will never label you as being "off". Actually, I'm more suspicious of the normal hikers. I haven't met many of them on the trail. I think it was Mountain Mike who said we're all just a bunch of misfits .

[squeezebox]

As a few others have said "I doubt that the creepyness and the over-judgemental stuff happens very much on the trail."
but it's very easy to get off an a blog jag talking about it.