when you fart, do you push?

[Tipi Walter]

In 1987 we were on a canoe trip in Canada and ate some freeze dried "Mountain Chili" for supper. The freeze dried onions in that mix gave all of us the worst gas that any of us had ever dealt with.
Well, bed time came and my girlfriend and I got into out tent and could barely stand the stench. Suddenly my son and my best friend who were staying in a TNF Mountain tent began laughing uncontrollably and insisted that we come outside.
They were inside the tent, farting heavily but had their heads sticking out of the snow tunnel openings on pillows.
We couldn't stop laughing for about 30 minutes.

geek

Has anyone had the Giardia Grabfest? It's when your backpacking doubled over from the cramps and the hipbelt is too tight . . . can't breath . . . bad pain . . . rumbling colon . . . gotta fart . . . but wait! . . . dump pack, drop pants . . . Dairy Queen/Pancake Batter . . . no time to dig a hole . . . phew, back away quickly . . . feel cold and clammy . . . gotta keep hiking. Happened in the Conehead Forest.

[Tin Man]

I love it that this thread is still going - we all need lives.

No doubt about it.

Or actually we should all be out hiking..

Can't argue with that.

...without emissions.

Impossible, I say! At least until they invent a cleaner burning fuel to give one the needed calories to get up and over the next mountain.

[Frolicking Dinosaurs]

Impossible, I say! At least until they invent a cleaner burning fuel to give one the needed calories to get up and over the next mountain.

TinMan is jet powered - Who knew?

[Tin Man]

TinMan is jet powered - Who knew?

I need all the help I can get to make it over the next mountain. I am not a light-weight...hiker...or...never mind...

[wakapak]

Has anyone had the Giardia Grabfest? It's when your backpacking doubled over from the cramps and the hipbelt is too tight . . . can't breath . . . bad pain . . . rumbling colon . . . gotta fart . . . but wait! . . . dump pack, drop pants . . . Dairy Queen/Pancake Batter . . . no time to dig a hole . . . phew, back away quickly . . . feel cold and clammy . . . gotta keep hiking. Happened in the Conehead Forest

not the Giardia Grabfest, but I did have the dreaded Catawba Illness in 99 on the trail....I do my best to forget about it, but every once in awhile that awful 48hrs comes back to haunt me!! I never knew until then how much bodily fluid could come out of one human being....YUCK!!

[Tipi Walter]

not the Giardia Grabfest, but I did have the dreaded Catawba Illness in 99 on the trail....I do my best to forget about it, but every once in awhile that awful 48hrs comes back to haunt me!! I never knew until then how much bodily fluid could come out of one human being....YUCK!!

The Catawba Illness reminds me of the Mt Rogers Retch Upon and Blowhole Reach Around. It happens when you drink foul cow water on the way up the mountain and start feeling queasy about the time your tent's up on a cold bald near Grayson Highlands. Various gods are intoned to no avail, a sleepless night ensues with projectile vomitus and piehole efflugent. An imaginary Robert Duvall off to the side says, "Keep his head by the tent door, boys, here comes another load!"

The long night was sleepless, of course, dehydration levels high, very high . . . gotta try to sleep . . . bad feelings . . . here it comes again . . .

In the morning there's a 12 mile hike out and at every passing spring I drink liters and liters of the refreshing liquid. So thirsty.

[wakapak]

The Catawba Illness reminds me of the Mt Rogers Retch Upon and Blowhole Reach Around. It happens when you drink foul cow water on the way up the mountain and start feeling queasy about the time your tent's up on a cold bald near Grayson Highlands. Various gods are intoned to no avail, a sleepless night ensues with projectile vomitus and piehole efflugent. An imaginary Robert Duvall off to the side says, "Keep his head by the tent door, boys, here comes another load!"

The long night was sleepless, of course, dehydration levels high, very high . . . gotta try to sleep . . . bad feelings . . . here it comes again . . .

In the morning there's a 12 mile hike out and at every passing spring I drink liters and liters of the refreshing liquid. So thirsty.

LOL! That about sums it up, except for me I do believe my bad water source was someone's well water during a high drought season in 99.....seems as though their septic system had leeched into their well water system with the low water levels....who woulda thought that one!?!?
At least for me, I had made it to the trouville/daleville interchange and was in a hotel room at the time of the vomiting and err, other happenings! What wasn't a pretty sight was 3 of us trying to share one bathroom as we were all inflicted by the fecal coliform swarming water....

I'll tell you what, i spent a few dehydrated days after that incident! Made me really skeptical of any water source!!

[gold bond]

One time in the Phillipines when I was out in town I could not get my belt to loosen, damn military belts, and after a real good dose of malaria meds and San Miguel I had to take a knife and cut the backside out of my pants! Did what I had to do and went on into a store, no backside in my britches and all, to buy another pair of pants!

[Tipi Walter]

One time in the Phillipines when I was out in town I could not get my belt to loosen, damn military belts, and after a real good dose of malaria meds and San Miguel I had to take a knife and cut the backside out of my pants! Did what I had to do and went on into a store, no backside in my britches and all, to buy another pair of pants!

When you said "after a real good dose of San Miquel" good god I thought you grabbed the knife and did a frontal turdectomy thru the descending colon! Just the pants? That's still pretty rough. I won't go into my 2 years in Panama/Bogota where I got the running squirts and the military Mayhems . . . look! an open air food market in Bogota! . . . look! some cheese hanging on a hook . . . umm, good cheese . . . godhelpmeforIhavesinned . . . makethepaingoaway . . . cramps . . . blowhole carnival . . .

[gold bond]

When you said "after a real good dose of San Miquel" good god I thought you grabbed the knife and did a frontal turdectomy thru the descending colon! Just the pants? That's still pretty rough. I won't go into my 2 years in Panama/Bogota where I got the running squirts and the military Mayhems . . . look! an open air food market in Bogota! . . . look! some cheese hanging on a hook . . . umm, good cheese . . . godhelpmeforIhavesinned . . . makethepaingoaway . . . cramps . . . blowhole carnival . . .

I swear it was one of those "back alley" bathromms and when I got done things that I'm not sure what they really were were dead as door nails! Probably thought they'd been nuked!!

[RadioFreq]

One time in the Phillipines when I was out in town I could not get my belt to loosen, damn military belts, and after a real good dose of malaria meds and San Miguel I had to take a knife and cut the backside out of my pants! Did what I had to do and went on into a store, no backside in my britches and all, to buy another pair of pants!

At least you didn't have to buy a new jet.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/881033/amazing_scene/

[c.coyle]

You know someone's a real friend when you feel comfortable farting in their presence.

[Tin Man]

You know someone's a real friend when you feel comfortable farting in there presence.

You mean without asking? I am pretty sure that this procedure falls under the "ask if anyone minds" before doing ATC guidelines.

[c.coyle]

You mean without asking? I am pretty sure that this procedure falls under the "ask if anyone minds" before doing ATC guidelines.

Yeah. Without asking.

[Grandma]

Just be careful.

When you're climbing up a ladder, and you hear something splatter, diarrhea.

[Miss Janet]

Four pages of posts about flatulence... I had to drop in and see what you guys were finding so funny!! AMAZING!

[taildragger]

Every now and then I've pushed and had to do the quick squeeze trot down the hallway to the john.

[Tipi Walter]

Four pages of posts about flatulence... I had to drop in and see what you guys were finding so funny!! AMAZING!

We've taken it way beyond simple flatulence.

[taildragger]

We've taken it way beyond simple flatulence.

At least we haven't gotten to detailed on how one should dig a proper cathole (or foxhole if you've been pruning) in order to protect yourself from the shrapnel of the deadly ordinances

[Tipi Walter]

At least we haven't gotten to detailed on how one should dig a proper cathole (or foxhole if you've been pruning) in order to protect yourself from the shrapnel of the deadly ordinances

What!? A proper cathole?? And offer people here a chance to actually learn something? Never happen.

And speaking of the Squatting Blowbacks, there's a good chance most backpackers here will eventually soil and befoul their untied boot laces with stool as I did one early winter evening squatting over a cat hole, but that's another story for another time . . .