Tips On How To Attract Creepy Women

[John B]

Personally I like creepy women, which works out well since they're about the only type that I can attract. I've found that carrying a pint bottle of whiskey so that it's easily visible is one way to attract them; a pack of Marlboro Red is another magnet. Having a box of Oreos or a copy of the National Enquirer out at the campsite draws 'em like mosquitoes in July. Anyone else have any good tips to share?

[MDSection12]

National Enquirer! Hilarious! :D

[HikerMom58]

All is fair in love and war! Both sexes can be guilty of creepy behavior- true dat. Our "creepiness" looks very different tho.

What I find interesting, is ur thread is the more stereotypical male behavior... it's about attracting females! :D "Our thread" is stereotypical as well, it's about avoiding unwanted attention! (males) And so it goes......

[MDSection12]

All is fair in love and war! Both sexes can be guilty of creepy behavior- true dat. Our "creepiness" looks very different tho.

What I find interesting, is ur thread is the more stereotypical male behavior... it's about attracting females! :D "Our thread" is stereotypical as well, it's about avoiding unwanted attention! (males) And so it goes......
I avoid both equally on the trail!

[kayak karl]

been there, done that! triple crown when it come to marriage :rolleyes:

[DocMahns]

Personally I like creepy women, which works out well since they're about the only type that I can attract. I've found that carrying a pint bottle of whiskey so that it's easily visible is one way to attract them; a pack of Marlboro Red is another magnet. Having a box of Oreos or a copy of the National Enquirer out at the campsite draws 'em like mosquitoes in July. Anyone else have any good tips to share?

You could grow a mullet before heading out, that'd attract some. Walk around shirtless and in jorts (jean shorts) as much as humanely possible with knee high tube socks and sandles. Make sure your whiskey comes from a plastic bottle, those glass bottles are too fancy for the creepers. Use a lot of bathroom polo (or otherwise cheap cologne commonly found in gas station bathrooms) heavily.

[10-K]

Never mind..... :)

[DocMahns]

^^^ forget to mention, it's preferable that the jorts are cut offs from an older pair of jeans as high as possible (try and get the pockets showing below the cutoff if at all possible)

[Old Hiker]

Why is it unwanted attention from males is "creepy" but ANY attention from a female MUST be due to our "studliness"? Well, your "studliness". I've been married to long to be "studly" any more, if ever.

How to attract: chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Plus hundred dollar bills (plural) help.

[mikec]

So it looks like creepiness is an equal opportunity characteristic.

[rhjanes]

Skoal in back pocket of the jorts. Wife-beater T, with some grease stains. mirrored sunglasses. some sort of weapon, preferably used on teeth. don't say much. But laugh under your breath in slow "he.....heh.....he..."
The one's that stay...........well there you go.

[Dogwood]

Oh, it's going to be one of those days. Ohh, it's friday. Long work wk guys?

After reading one thread I was going to start a thread topic "How to Avoid Clingy Women on the Trail?" but thought the better of it. I'm skating on thin ice even mentioning it.

IMO, this thread can be humorous WB entertainment but it has the potential to go into that dark zone real quick AND I really DO NOT think it's in the same context of Hasbrown's thread, which to this male hiker, made a lot of sense from a female hiker perspective.

[Foresight]

What I find interesting, is ur thread is the more stereotypical male behavior... it's about attracting females! :D "Our thread" is stereotypical as well, it's about avoiding unwanted attention! (males) And so it goes......

And therein lies the humor, hence the Hiking Humor Forum :D

P.S. Not letting us have our fun is kinda creepy, don't ya think? I mean damn, we hear all our live that we never grow up, we're oversized boys, etc. and then we get scolded for it....not fair. Not fair at all.

[Odd Man Out]

This just showed up on my FB page. Thought it might be of some use:

25587

[rickb]

IMO, this thread can be humorous WB entertainment but it has the potential to go into that dark zone real quick AND I really DO NOT think it's in the same context of Hasbrown's thread, which to this male hiker, made a lot of sense from a female hiker perspective.

Yea, but how about the picture of the ugly guy with missing teeth on the blog that articulated that perspective.

Have you ever noticed that a man's perceived creepiness is directly proportionate to an unattractive physical appearance and indirectly proportionate to a high socio-economic status? In large measure, anyway.

Or to put it another way, if that exact same creepy behavior were coming from Leonardo Decaprio, it would have been considered charming and complimentary?

Glad I am in the latter camp. Of course being though of as an ******* is an entire different matter!

[Dogwood]

LOL, yeah I have noticed that Rickb. That's why men often put up facades attempting to be associated with men like Leonardo. Ouuch!

No argument from me about anything you said in that last post.

[HikerMom58]

And therein lies the humor, hence the Hiking Humor Forum :D

P.S. Not letting us have our fun is kinda creepy, don't ya think? I mean damn, we hear all our live that we never grow up, we're oversized boys, etc. and then we get scolded for it....not fair. Not fair at all.

:D I can see ur point Foresight. Sorry buddy! :p It's a concern we have on the trail tho. and something that we can find annoying/sometimes scary, while hiking. It's fun to laugh about it too tho. :D I can clearly see both sides of this issue, both from a males perspective & the females.

In all fairness, the females should not care what the offending males looks like... seriously. That is a valid point coming from the men... ie, missing teeth photo? Yeah, I hear ya!

Looks like Dogwood is empathizing with us!! I love Dogwood, I really do! :D What else can we talk about this time of year? ;)

[MDSection12]

You could grow a mullet before heading out, that'd attract some. Walk around shirtless and in jorts (jean shorts) as much as humanely possible with knee high tube socks and sandles. Make sure your whiskey comes from a plastic bottle, those glass bottles are too fancy for the creepers. Use a lot of bathroom polo (or otherwise cheap cologne commonly found in gas station bathrooms) heavily.
Here's a pic from my last section hike.

25588

[Sara]

This topic is hilarious!

The number one weapon in his arsenal should be a fine Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot.

[Foresight]

[/B]
:D I can see ur point Foresight. Sorry buddy! :p

Sooooooo........wanna hug it out? :D

[rhjanes]

Here's a pic from my last section hike.

25588
He must have left his Members Only jacket in the Firebird....

[Foresight]

Do you part your hair on the right or is that a selfie avatar?

[Foresight]

Parting your hair on the right makes you creepy, see....

http://www.cracked.com/article_20779_5-seemingly-insignificant-things-that-make-people-like-you.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=011614

[HikerMom58]

Oh dear... I'm laughing so hard my abs hurt!! :banana

[Rolls Kanardly]

How about a Creepiness Day on the trail? Always good to have another excuse to party.

Rolls

[Feral Bill]

Can we merge this thread with the Greyhound thread?

[4eyedbuzzard]

What, nobody thinks us guys don't also try to avoid creepy guys (and creepy women) on the trail? Who knows what anybody's "orientation" or motives may be. They could be bi-creepy and doubling their chances of getting lucky at the shelter on a Friday night. There's a reason both genders run when they hear banjo music . . .

[Mags]

My Dad gave me one piece of advice on my wedding day "I can be right...or I can be happy".

Dad's a wise man.

:)

[Studlintsean]

This is great.

[Drybones]

All is fair in love and war! Both sexes can be guilty of creepy behavior- true dat. Our "creepiness" looks very different tho.

What I find interesting, is ur thread is the more stereotypical male behavior... it's about attracting females! :D "Our thread" is stereotypical as well, it's about avoiding unwanted attention! (males) And so it goes......

I find it interesting how some women who want to avoid attention dress. Some women would look sexy in a burlap sack, but most could dress as to not get attention if they wished.

[Drybones]

[QUOTE=John B;1835587]Personally I like creepy women, QUOTE]

I've been married to one for 38 years.

[Drybones]

been there, done that! triple crown when it come to marriage :rolleyes:

Some learn slower than others....one will be enough for me.

[Coffee]

Long distance hiking tends to attract some eccentric characters. After all, hiking and sleeping in the woods for weeks and months at a time is not really conventional behavior. Most people consider it extreme. It might be wise to just assume that someone who comes across as "creepy" might just be on the eccentric side. Goes for both men and women.

[Drybones]

Why is it unwanted attention from males is "creepy" but ANY attention from a female MUST be due to our "studliness"? Well, your "studliness". I've been married to long to be "studly" any more, if ever.

How to attract: chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Plus hundred dollar bills (plural) help.

Chocolate and money....no tellin what you'll catch with that bait.

[Drybones]

Skoal in back pocket of the jorts. Wife-beater T, with some grease stains. mirrored sunglasses. some sort of weapon, preferably used on teeth. don't say much. But laugh under your breath in slow "he.....heh.....he..."
The one's that stay...........well there you go.

Real women prefer Copenhagen.

[HikerMom58]

Long distance hiking tends to attract some eccentric characters. After all, hiking and sleeping in the woods for weeks and months at a time is not really conventional behavior. Most people consider it extreme. It might be wise to just assume that someone who comes across as "creepy" might just be on the eccentric side. Goes for both men and women.

Well, I certainly can't argue with that! :D

*Taking a deep breath* Drybones is on a roll..whew.. Now, I've got tears running down my face from laughing so hard.:D

[Drybones]

Yea, but how about the picture of the ugly guy with missing teeth on the blog that articulated that perspective.

Have you ever noticed that a man's perceived creepiness is directly proportionate to an unattractive physical appearance and indirectly proportionate to a high socio-economic status? In large measure, anyway.

Or to put it another way, if that exact same creepy behavior were coming from Leonardo Decaprio, it would have been considered charming and complimentary?

Glad I am in the latter camp. Of course being though of as an ******* is an entire different matter!

Your right on Rick.

[Drybones]

This topic is hilarious!

The number one weapon in his arsenal should be a fine Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot.

Wine is for sissies....real women drink whisky.

[Drybones]

On a serious note....to all....thanks for the laughs.

[rickb]

Wine is for sissies....real women drink whisky.

Or Aguardiente.

[HikerMom58]

Sooooooo........wanna hug it out? :D

Ha ha... I missed this one! No way, go away you creep! lol JUST KIDDIN! I'll give you a hug! *short quick hug* :D

This has been a great thread!

[Foresight]

Hahahahaha!

[Odd Man Out]

Can we merge this thread with the Greyhound thread?

Or how about "Shenandoah Valley Hook Ups"?

[Dogwood]

What, nobody thinks us guys don't also try to avoid creepy guys (and creepy women) on the trail? Who knows what anybody's "orientation" or motives may be. They could be bi-creepy and doubling their chances of getting lucky at the shelter on a Friday night. There's a reason both genders run when they hear banjo music . . .

It has happened to me on trail several times after relating to someone I like cooking and gardening while wearing SHORT form fitting running shorts. Wow, creepy bi-dudes, sometimes get real obnoxious and very forward even after telling them no I'm not that way. Creepy bi-dudes hitting on me are the worst form of creepy to me especially after I say NO Leave Me Alone. We're not talking marginal behavior either. I'm referring to behavior that would be defined as illegal sexual harassment or indecent exposure if it was a male doing these things to or in front of a female. Some don't even want people talking about that type of behavior but it does happen. It has happened to me. I see I'm not the only one.

[HikerMom58]

Or how about "Shenandoah Valley Hook Ups"?

I'll hook up hikers with water, shuttles etc.. but that's where the "hook up" starts & ends with meee!! Just puttin it out there! :p

Ha ha.. Oh Dogwood!! Poor guy... it's the shorts! ;) They'll do it, every time!

[4eyedbuzzard]

It has happened to me on trail several times after relating to someone I like cooking and gardening while wearing SHORT form fitting running shorts. Wow, creepy bi-dudes, sometimes get real obnoxious and very forward even after telling them no I'm not that way. Creepy bi-dudes hitting on me are the worst form of creepy to me especially after I say NO Leave Me Alone. We're not talking marginal behavior either. I'm referring to behavior that would be defined as illegal sexual harassment or indecent exposure if it was a male doing these things to or in front of a female. Some don't even want people talking about that type of behavior but it does happen. It has happened to me. I see I'm not the only one.You, um, have any plans tonight? ;) :rolleyes: :D :banana

[aficion]

The only way to avoid creeps on the trail is to stay off the trail. The most effective way to avoid creepy women is to avoid women. Not a great proposition anyway you look at it. Creeps and the trail exist and intersect. You wanna just stay home? Up to you. Me, I'll smile and have a laugh with any old creep. Then I'll mosey on down the trail, with another story to tell.

[jimmyjam]

What, nobody thinks us guys don't also try to avoid creepy guys (and creepy women) on the trail? Who knows what anybody's "orientation" or motives may be. They could be bi-creepy and doubling their chances of getting lucky at the shelter on a Friday night. There's a reason both genders run when they hear banjo music . . .
Another good reason to avoid shelters .

[kayak karl]

The only way to avoid creeps on the trail is to stay off the trail. The most effective way to avoid creepy women is to avoid women. Not a great proposition anyway you look at it. Creeps and the trail exist and intersect. You wanna just stay home? Up to you. Me, I'll smile and have a laugh with any old creep. Then I'll mosey on down the trail, with another story to tell.
this thread is how to ATTRACT creepy hikers, not avoid. by the way, what do you wear when you hike :rolleyes:

[SevenPines]

i hooked up at konnarock--two years in a row

[Foresight]

Was "it" creepy?

[Jack89]

If you act like a complete, arrogant jerk, you'll attract all kinds of women. Haven't quite figured out why yet, but it seems to work.

[magic_game03]

Three pages long and I'm still lost, what is a creepy woman? Some how I must be living with a creepy woman forcefield on cause I never met one. I just can't imagine a personality trait coming from a woman that I'd classify as creepy.

...on the other hand. Every male on this planet has a creep factor to me. Maybe I start off on a '1' with some dude and he can work his way up the scale as I get to know the dude better, but if your a dude you already start off on a '1'.

…interesting note. While dudes can be the creepy-macho-jerk type, or the silent-creepy type, or whatever creepy type, the creepiest of them all are the dudes who are going out of their way to prove they are not creepy (politicians, priest, and so forth).

[aficion]

Three pages long and I'm still lost, what is a creepy woman? Some how I must be living with a creepy woman forcefield on cause I never met one. I just can't imagine a personality trait coming from a woman that I'd classify as creepy.

...on the other hand. Every male on this planet has a creep factor to me. Maybe I start off on a '1' with some dude and he can work his way up the scale as I get to know the dude better, but if your a dude you already start off on a '1'.

…interesting note. While dudes can be the creepy-macho-jerk type, or the silent-creepy type, or whatever creepy type, the creepiest of them all are the dudes who are going out of their way to prove they are not creepy (politicians, priest, and so forth).

I must agree with you
you really are quite lost
creepin me out too

[aficion]

this thread is how to ATTRACT creepy hikers, not avoid. by the way, what do you wear when you hike :rolleyes:

Depends .

[Damn Yankee]

I like wearing those high running short, knee high socks with Chuck Taylors and my t-shirt pulled up and tucked into my neck line.

[Drybones]

If you act like a complete, arrogant jerk, you'll attract all kinds of women. Haven't quite figured out why yet, but it seems to work.

So that's my problem.....I'm too humble.

[Coffee]

If you act like a complete, arrogant jerk, you'll attract all kinds of women. Haven't quite figured out why yet, but it seems to work.
This becomes apparent to most people by junior high school. One of the mysteries of the world.

[Odd Man Out]

Three pages long and I'm still lost, what is a creepy woman? Some how I must be living with a creepy woman forcefield on cause I never met one. I just can't imagine a personality trait coming from a woman that I'd classify as creepy.

Have you ever seen an episode of "The Bachelor"?

[hobby]

Depends .

wearing "Depends" always attracts the creeps!

[Praha4]

had a couple similar experiences in Vermont on the Long Trail... I thought Virginia was for lovers, but now I think it's Vermont that's for lovers...
It has happened to me on trail several times after relating to someone I like cooking and gardening while wearing SHORT form fitting running shorts. Wow, creepy bi-dudes, sometimes get real obnoxious and very forward even after telling them no I'm not that way. Creepy bi-dudes hitting on me are the worst form of creepy to me especially after I say NO Leave Me Alone. We're not talking marginal behavior either. I'm referring to behavior that would be defined as illegal sexual harassment or indecent exposure if it was a male doing these things to or in front of a female. Some don't even want people talking about that type of behavior but it does happen. It has happened to me. I see I'm not the only one.

[RED-DOG]

Just take you'r dog hiking with you and when a female approaches, just say ( Do ya whana pet my puppy thar huney ).

[Dogwood]

He must have left his Members Only jacket in the Firebird....

Probably wearing a gold neck chain with a medallion of Caligula on it too while sportin those combed chest hairs.

[RED-DOG]

Or have a naked picture of you with a tube sock hanging off it and tell them, Look thar honey it's Firm Fitting it hangs down to my knees. and then offer them a Honey Bun.

[Drybones]

Or have a naked picture of you with a tube sock hanging off it and tell them, Look thar honey it's Firm Fitting it hangs down to my knees. and then offer them a Honey Bun.

Anyone that's been on the trail more than two weeks will love you if you offer them a honey bun....I believe my all time favorite commercial is the one where they say "you are what you eat" and then show the back side of a lady...the cheeks are two honey buns.

[HikerMom58]

Anyone that's been on the trail more than two weeks will love you if you offer them a honey bun....I believe my all time favorite commercial is the one where they say "you are what you eat" and then show the back side of a lady...the cheeks are two honey buns.

I know exactly what commercial you are talking about!! LOL!!

[Old Hiker]

Wine is for sissies....real women drink whisky.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N44pIQ0fJKA

[DocMahns]

Anyone that's been on the trail more than two weeks will love you if you offer them a honey bun....I believe my all time favorite commercial is the one where they say "you are what you eat" and then show the back side of a lady...the cheeks are two honey buns.

I would marry such a woman, breakfast in bed... for life...