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TOW
09-12-2005, 05:46
Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's accident
report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent
of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy
died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause
of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the
following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,
I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were
found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them i n a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175
lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed
in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my r ight hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great
deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I l ay there on the pile of bricks, in
pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry

Dances with Mice
09-12-2005, 06:24
This is a true story. http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.asp

titanium_hiker
09-12-2005, 08:18
anyone see the mythbusters? though it is highly unlikely that the guy was working alone (esp with aussie worksafe stuff)- physically it could have happened. VERY funny watching the dummy go up, down, and the barrel land on him.

Also- what about his fingers in the pulley?

titanium

Nightwalker
09-12-2005, 11:07
Rhymish version.
-----------------------------------------------
Dear sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight,
For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,
My body is all black & blue, my face a deathly grey,
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today.

While working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear,
But tossing them down from such a height, was not a good idea,
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod,
and he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Well clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below.
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head.
But I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow,
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel & so started down once more.
But I clung on tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain,
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision halfway down the office block,
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock,
But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground,
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

Well as I lay there on the floor I thought I'd passed the worst,
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel & then the bottom burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me; I didn't have a hope.
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel now being heavier, it started down once more.
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor.
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say,
"I hope you'll understand why I am not at work today."

titanium_hiker
09-12-2005, 14:07
wow. I REALLY like the poem. thanks!

titanium

Nightwalker
09-12-2005, 15:14
wow. I REALLY like the poem. thanks!

titanium
I wish that I could find the song that those words came from. It's probably even funnier when sung as a folkie-type song.

smokymtnsteve
09-12-2005, 15:43
why patty is not @ work today

an ole irish chat.

serch the forum

Seeker
09-12-2005, 20:38
try the "ballad of jed clampett" (beverly hillbillies theme song)... it sort of works...

TOW
09-12-2005, 23:46
good poem frank, my ole prison buddy sent that story to me.........i had heard it before, but still found it funny enough to post here........

Nightwalker
09-14-2005, 11:40
good poem frank, my ole prison buddy sent that story to me.........i had heard it before, but still found it funny enough to post here........
It's one of those (the original that you posted) that I've heard a bunch of times, but with my stroke-damaged memory, any joke that I haven't heard in a year or so is still funny, even though I know I've heard it!

Lanthar Mandragoran
09-14-2005, 13:08
anyone see the mythbusters? though it is highly unlikely that the guy was working alone (esp with aussie worksafe stuff)- physically it could have happened. VERY funny watching the dummy go up, down, and the barrel land on him.

Also- what about his fingers in the pulley?

titanium
they did this on mythbusters? I LOVE that show, don't hardly have time to watch it though... I wonder if it's on discovery...


Episode 3: Barrel of Bricks, Pissing on the Third Rail, Eel Skin Wallet
Is it really that dangerous to answer the call of nature on the electrified third rail of a train track? Can an eel skin wallet erase all the magnetic information on your credit cards if the skin came from an electric eel? How about the story of the unluckiest construction worker on earth? A pulley system breaks down while he is lifting a barrel filled with 500 pounds of bricks. Will the barrel come straight down on the guy doing the pulling, or will he walk away without a scratch? Jamie and Adam take a crack at these classic legends.
wow, now to get this off of netflix...

Lanthar Mandragoran
09-14-2005, 13:11
darn netflix doesn't seem to carry mythbusters yet...

stickman
09-14-2005, 21:33
Great story, but demonstrably not a true one. For starters, they use kilograms in Australia, not pounds.

Stickman

chris1906
01-10-2006, 12:10
I wish that I could find the song that those words came from. It's probably even funnier when sung as a folkie-type song.

the song is by The Corries a scottish folk band i have it on tape but i'm not sure where you could get it on cd