View Full Version : Jesus,Moses and Wingfoot at the Kennebec.
Jesus, Moses and Wingfoot are on a Thru-Hike. As they approach the Kennebec Jesus doesn't stop but walk right on across the water. He drops his pack and breaks out some loaves and fishes snaps his fingers and turns the water in his Nalgene into wine.
Moses is out of water so he wacks a rock with a Leki pole and drinks the water flowing from it. He then raises both Leki poles and parts the river and then walks across on the now dry river bed.
Wingfoot comes up to the river drops his pack,lights up a cigarette and yells across to Jesus and Moses,
"Sorry guys, the trail doesn't cross there"
Freighttrain
09-13-2005, 08:10
Lmao!!!!! thats great!
peter_pan
09-13-2005, 08:21
ROTFLMAO...
Seems Like Jesus and Moses are more likely ones to know the Way.
Pan
good one BOO!
"the WAY"...i get it, PAN! good reference. :D
eric_plano
09-13-2005, 09:01
ROTFLMAO...
Seems Like Jesus and Moses are more likely ones to know the Way.
Pan
Considering one of those guys was lost for 40 years and I can't walk on water I'll go with WF on this one :banana
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-13-2005, 13:43
:clap.:clap.:clap.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif.images/smilies/clap.gif
Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-13-2005, 13:45
Sorry guys - no edit button for me to fix it :o
Pacific Tortuga
09-13-2005, 15:47
Jesus and Moses were persecuted and died for what they believed in.Thier words are now considerd the "Gospel Truth" by many. I think it's a little premature to elevate WF to that lofty level but I'm sure he would appreciate the analogy. Having a WhiteBlaze is pretty important.
Jesus and Moses were persecuted and died for what they believed in.Thier words are now considerd the "Gospel Truth" by many. I think it's a little premature to elevate WF to that lofty level but I'm sure he would appreciate the analogy. Having a WhiteBlaze is pretty important.
Note to Tortuga: That was a joke.
And regarding WF, he is imperfect like me and you, although I suspect he knows the old "I before E" spelling rule. :D
Pacific Tortuga
09-13-2005, 17:15
Note to MOWGLI16
It's A Joke
DUH !
It sounds like I touched a nerve,chill, no ones perfect.
Note to MOWGLI16
It sounds like I touched a nerve,chill....
Nope, not me. I'm as chill as they get. FYI, I know Dan pretty well too. I think I'm the only one with a photo of him on this site. I also hiked with Moses in 2000, although he broke his leg before he reached the Kennebec.
Now if you said something bad about my good friend Moses, that would touch a nerve - for certain.
And I certainly wouldn't expect one of Dan's toadies, lackeys or sycophants to say anything negative about him. :D (FYI - that was a joke too)
Say... Tortuga, didn't I meet you somewhere on the Eastern Continental Trail? Or was that someone else? :jump
fiddlehead
09-13-2005, 23:13
Thanks for the laugh this morning.
tlbj6142
09-14-2005, 10:59
Wasn't this same joke post here a couple of years ago?
That is a great story. Sometime they will close the dam at Indian Pond for repairs and the Kennebec will pretty much dry up. I will go up to Caratunk and paint white blazes across the river bottom. When the water come back I know my friend Baltimore Jack will follow them as he is a purist, Lone Wolf will look at them and go to town for a beer, and Wingfoot will read about them on his web site and write about them in his next book as if he had painted them himself.
Just Jeff
09-22-2005, 22:28
HAHAHAHA!!
OMG...here we go again...
Religion AND bashing WF in the same thread?!
Jack Tarlin
09-22-2005, 23:17
You're dead right Mox....Jack is a purist, which means that at the Kennebec River, he follows the official Trail, which means he rides the canoe ferry.
In some places, the ATC and local Trail Clubs have put in bridges at unsafe crossings, and it's universally understood that people walk across the bridges, rather than ford or swim.
At the Kennebec, it's universally understood that while fording the river is certainly possible, it's not a particularly intelligent thing to do, regardless of how well one thinks one "knows" the river.
People have died there. That's why there's a ferry.
So Jack takes the canoe. Steve Longley and his staff have been doing an extraordinary job there for years, they've safe-guarded thousands of people's lives, and they deserve our praise and recognition.
So Moses, Jesus, and Wingfoot can do whatever they please.
I'm not ashamed to say that I take the ferry at the Kennebec, I'm glad that it's there, and I think it's the smart thing to do.
You're dead right Mox....Jack is a purist, which means that at the Kennebec River, he follows the official Trail, which means he rides the canoe ferry.
In some places, the ATC and local Trail Clubs have put in bridges at unsafe crossings, and it's universally understood that people walk across the bridges, rather than ford or swim.
At the Kennebec, it's universally understood that while fording the river is certainly possible, it's not a particularly intelligent thing to do, regardless of how well one thinks one "knows" the river.
People have died there. That's why there's a ferry.
So Jack takes the canoe. Steve Longley and his staff have been doing an extraordinary job there for years, they've safe-guarded thousands of people's lives, and they deserve our praise and recognition.
So Moses, Jesus, and Wingfoot can do whatever they please.
I'm not ashamed to say that I take the ferry at the Kennebec, I'm glad that it's there, and I think it's the smart thing to do.
Yeahbut, then.. you aren't walking the "ENTIRE" trail! :D :D :D
smokymtnsteve
09-23-2005, 00:22
HAHAHAHA!!
OMG...here we go again...
Religion AND bashing WF in the same thread?!
WF bashing and religion..
R the beleivers on the WAR path agian???????
WF bashing and religion..
R the beleivers on the WAR path agian???????
Why would the believers want to bash WF?
:confused:
smokymtnsteve
09-23-2005, 18:54
Why would the believers want to bash WF?
:confused:
according to the "believers" his lifestlyle is "sinful"
Deafsmart
09-23-2005, 20:19
Word of cautionary reaction
Jesus, Moses and Wingfoot are on a Thru-Hike. As they approach the Kennebec Jesus doesn't stop but walk right on across the water. He drops his pack and breaks out some loaves and fishes snaps his fingers and turns the water in his Nalgene into wine.
Moses is out of water so he wacks a rock with a Leki pole and drinks the water flowing from it. He then raises both Leki poles and parts the river and then walks across on the now dry river bed.
Wingfoot comes up to the river drops his pack,lights up a cigarette and yells across to Jesus and Moses,
"Sorry guys, the trail doesn't cross there"
But latter part of this thread it will turn into WF-bashing. For mine from desk of A.T.U.N.C.L.E. (Appalachian Trail United Network Command for Law Enforcement):
Prosecutor: Objection!
Matlock: WHAT!
Prosecutor: "Your Honor, he is badger the witness!"
Judge: Sustain
Matlock: But...but I was going to ask...
Judge: That is enough. Go for another line of questioning.
Matlock: {Wince}Okay. Dag-gone.
Judge: I heard you. Don’t cuss in my courtroom.
Matlock: Here goes: Humm-mm, Why is everybody tick off about Wingfoot?
Witness: {stammer}
Prosecutor: Objection!
Judge: I am warning you.
Matlock: Ahh gee, give me a break.
Judge: One more cussing or this witness may be excuse.
Matlock: (thinking and went back to the table, conferring)
Defense: (whisper of approval)
Matlock: Were you ever had an affair with Wingfoot, known as Dan Bruce?
Prosecutor: OBJECTION!
Jack, you are a purist. I guided white water raft trips for 17 years on the Kennebec and it is a real killer. I have personally witnessed fishermen drownings, including a good friend when they were caught by quickly rising water. I also take Steve's ferrry and as you know there is a white blaze painted on the bottom of the canoe. We have lost no hikers in the last two decades because most hikers take the ferry and those that don't have just flat been lucky. There have been several close calls and many lost packs from hikers that attempted to ford. However my point is that if the trail was ever re located with white blazes directly through hell with a blue blazed bad weather trail through heaven Baltimore Jack would never leave the white blazes- that is a purist
Cookerhiker
09-25-2005, 22:06
You're dead right Mox....Jack is a purist, which means that at the Kennebec River, he follows the official Trail, which means he rides the canoe ferry.
In some places, the ATC and local Trail Clubs have put in bridges at unsafe crossings, and it's universally understood that people walk across the bridges, rather than ford or swim.
At the Kennebec, it's universally understood that while fording the river is certainly possible, it's not a particularly intelligent thing to do, regardless of how well one thinks one "knows" the river.
People have died there. That's why there's a ferry.
So Jack takes the canoe. Steve Longley and his staff have been doing an extraordinary job there for years, they've safe-guarded thousands of people's lives, and they deserve our praise and recognition.
So Moses, Jesus, and Wingfoot can do whatever they please.
I'm not ashamed to say that I take the ferry at the Kennebec, I'm glad that it's there, and I think it's the smart thing to do.
I agree. On my recently-completed Maine section hike, I arrived at the Kennebec Sept. 3. Although it was 3 days after the Hurricane Katrina rains, the river was still quite swift and deep-looking. No way I would have forded it. I paddled from the front (bow?). Steve navigated the canoe by hugging the shore upstream for at least 100 yards. At his instruction, we rested a bit before making our way over to the opposite shore. I was certainly grateful for the service.
Old Spice
09-25-2005, 23:25
If this joke offends you, then you should probably lighten up. I am in the process of planning my thru-hike, and am "praying" that I will not have to deal with too many zealous hiker-evangelist types.
TAMBOURINE
09-26-2005, 06:17
I Feel If Any Of Us Thru Hike It Is 2200 Miles No Matter How You Get There You Got There (((((without))))car,cycle,plane,train We Are All Out There Doing Something We Want In Life And Like To Do And For Someone To Judge Us For What They Would Not Do Is Probally Because They Feel Safer On The Whiteblaze They Might Be Scared To Venture Off And Cant Handle What Comes There Way Ever Thought Of It That Way????????he Is In His ((((safe))))zone The Wf Zone Lmao Big Ups To Whiteblaze That Is All I Have To Say
Old Spice
10-26-2005, 20:23
Sorry for this. I am usually the first to get annoyed with people who post their gripes about a specific "trail personality" online. But I need to vent for a moment.
I usually alternate between this site and trailplace, but I can't take it anymore. It is nothing short of a personality cult devoted to stroking the the ego of its meglomaniac moderator.
WF, just becuase you possess an extensive knowlege regarding the trail doesn't make you an authority on everything else. I wouldn't trust Jesus Christ to do my taxes, nor will I trust you to tell to give me advice regarding politics or religion. So stop using your undisputed knowledge of the trail to preach about topics you haven't the authority to.
WF, perhaps the reason a large number of people don't like you is not becasue they are jealous of you, and thus persecuting you for your "righteousness sake", but becuase you are the hiking equivelant of a fundementalist Christian. Oh wait, you are a Christian. This is a fact that you prove yourself to have no diplomacy over when when you create posts that urge people to pray for our godless country. If you were truly an elder or a leader or whatever you fancy yourself to be, then you would recognize the fact that these opinions have nothing to do with providing a resource for people interested in the A.T.
All your talk of "no compromise" regarding the purpose of and ethos of the trail falls dead on my ears. It just seems like so many words trying to cover up the fact that you lack the ability to relate to those who do not share your views, which leads me to believe that contrary to the public image you strive to create, you lack any real sense of self.
The irony and poetic justice in all this, is that you will probably never figure this out. You are to consumed with yourself and your own ego.
I'm not ashamed to say that I take the ferry at the Kennebec, I'm glad that it's there, and I think it's the smart thing to do.
As do I, but not for philosophical reasons. I just know my age and limitations.
Weary
Lone Wolf
10-27-2005, 04:14
I've taken the canoe a few times myself.
there is a white blaze painted on the bottom of the canoe.
Ahhhh so that's where it is! lol...I keep looking in pictures trying to find it on the side of the canoe...lol
I think the joke is cute- and personally I don't find it insulting to WF - you could substitute "thru-hiker" or "purist" in there and it would still be a cute joke.
And as far as religion on the trail goes - it reminds me that I need to purchase a new Darwin patch to sew on my pack :D
D'Artagnan
10-27-2005, 09:45
I guess everybody's different and that's one of the great things about the AT and this site. For me, I never feel more connected to my Creator than when I'm on the trail. It centers me. Call me naive, but when I gaze upon the splendor of the mountains and interact with the all-encompassing nature of the AT, I feel a connectedness that transcends what my logical, scientific, rational mind can explain. I readily concede there are elements of evolution that are undeniable. I just hate to think that that's all there is to the majesty of the universe. I guess I'm just a little more willing to accept certain things on faith. Hope I didn't drift too far.
But you know, for the life of me, I just can't understand why mosquitoes exist. ;)
(Non Urinat In Ventum) :D
MoBeach42
10-28-2005, 00:27
... and am "praying" that I will not have to deal with too many zealous hiker-evangelist types.
Old Spice... I'm not sure what type of evangelists you are worried about. If you're worried about people preaching their version of AT purism - they'll be few and in my experience this year not too annoying.
However, if you don't want to deal with Jesus evangelists - you'll probably run into plenty of those. That, I think, was one of the most maddening things I encountered on the trail - people preying on my hike to try and push their agendas on me. ::sigh:: But I guess being a Masshole I'm probably more sensitive to what is probably common in the rest of the country.
-Jay
Wolf - 23000
10-28-2005, 19:18
I'm not sure what WF wrote in his book about doing the Kennebec River but I can say at least in 1990, he took the ferry. I know so because I was the one who took him across.
Wolf
Old Spice
10-28-2005, 23:38
Old Spice... I'm not sure what type of evangelists you are worried about. If you're worried about people preaching their version of AT purism - they'll be few and in my experience this year not too annoying.
However, if you don't want to deal with Jesus evangelists - you'll probably run into plenty of those. That, I think, was one of the most maddening things I encountered on the trail - people preying on my hike to try and push their agendas on me. ::sigh:: But I guess being a Masshole I'm probably more sensitive to what is probably common in the rest of the country.
-Jay
I feel a little sheepish now after rereading what I wrote. Sometimes a person just needs to vent though. I was letting the attitude of a few ruin my excitement.
I am not all that woried about jesus freaks on the trail. I use to be one (does travelling to papua new guinnea to become a missionary qualify me?) and know how to be diplomatic, confrontational, or when to walk away with people who are all too zealous for their beliefs. Personally, I don't care what type of people I meet on the trail this spring. I just want to make some good friends and have an amazing time.