One day a blonde is hiking in the woods. She follows the trail until she comes upon a river. As she is thinking how she can get across the river; another blonde appears on the opposite side.
The blonde yells to the other blonde "How do I get to the other side?"
The other blonde looks up and then down the river and yells back:
"You are on the other side!"
am i now posting correctly alligator? am i politically correct now?
smokymtnsteve
09-14-2005, 22:57
guess what color my hair is??? what little I have left of it.
Alligator
09-14-2005, 22:57
Ok, that was good. But to be PC you would have had to say HE. That would have actually made it a little funnier BTW.
Footslogger
09-14-2005, 23:12
I don't get it ...
'Slogger
Footslogger
09-14-2005, 23:14
Oh wait ...is this the "Message from God" thread ??
okay alligator "HE" and no this is not that thread, the most horrible thread i have ever posted just to stir others emotions..........i'm so bad that i'll probably do it again...........some habits are just to hard to break..
Clark Fork
09-15-2005, 05:57
Here is a hiking joke collection from various sources. Just the thing to dust off around ranger TV on the trail. The first one is a sanitized version of the above posting.
:banana
Stream Fording
A hiker comes to the river crossing up north and wants to get across, sees another hiker on the other side and yells over.... HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE....
The other hiker looks up river, then down river and yells:
YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!
Leg Pains
A hiker hobbles into the Doctor's office and says "Doctor, I've hiked all the way here from Springer Mountain and my right leg is killing me, can you take a look at it?"
"Sure," says the doc and he puts his stethoscope to the hiker's right shin bone. He hears a small voice say "Doc, can you lend me a quarter?"
Then he listens to the hiker's right knee and hears "Hey Doc, can you lend me a dollar?"
Then he puts the stethoscope to the hiker's right thigh and hears "Doc, can you lend me a twenty?"
The Doctor puts down the stethoscope and sighs, shaking his head gently from side to side.
The hiker says "Well, did you find out what's happened to my leg?"
The doc says "Yes; I really hate to tell you this, but your leg is broke in three places!
Mine Shaft
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be my goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Sherlock Holmes Classic
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".
Keep Your Eyes Open
Two guys are out hiking. The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
Women Hikers
Two women are hiking in the woods. After an hour or so, they come to a stream. Unable to cross, they decide to walk along the stream and look for a narrower place. Fortunately they come to an old bridge spanning the stream. Deciding the bridge safe, the two women proceed to cross. Halfway across, one woman stops and says to the other, "I've always wanted to be like the guys, and urinate off a bridge." The other woman looks around and says, "well, I don't see anyone around, now's your chance!" The first woman drops her hiking shorts and backs over to the side of the bridge. As she begins to urinate, she looks over her shoulder. "Holy mackeral!" she exclaims, "I just pissed in a canoe!" Alarmed, the second woman hurries over, and peeks at the stream. "Calm down," she says. "That wasn't a canoe you pissed in, it was only your reflection
Hiking Pun
While hiking in the woods, Nate and Sam found this huge rock
which had an old iron lever attached to it. Etched into the
rock was the following inscription: "If this lever is
pulled, the world will come to an end!" Nate wanted to pull
the lever and see what would happen, but Sam, being a
paranoid pessamist, greatly feared this! He said to Nate
that if he tried to pull the lever, he'd shoot him! In a
daring attempt, Nate lunged for the lever, and sure enough,
Sam shot him! What is the moral of this story? Better Nate
than lever!
Regards,
Clark Fork in Western Montana "Where seldom is heard a discouraging word."
good lesson clark............
I don't get it ...
'SloggerIt is obviously a mistake, an inadvertantly appropriate post. (There is actually hiking involved in the humor.)
titanium_hiker
09-15-2005, 18:29
CLARK! HAHAHAHAHAH. very good.
did you know that there was a website that had jokes (submitted) and reviewed- they found out the different kinds of humour of different nationalities. The Holmes/Watson one was voted the most funny by most people. (except in the one I heard) NO watson you idiot, somebody stole our tent!) A real universal joke. :)
titanium
digger51
09-15-2005, 19:23
The Holmes Watson joke was the top joke in Maxim Mag a couple of months ago.
I don't get it ...
'Slogger
That's because your hair is GRAY! :bse
Footslogger
09-16-2005, 08:59
That's because your hair is GRAY! :bse=================================
Ya think Grecian Formula might help ??
'Slogger