Affirmative
03-27-2014, 21:53
My flight leaves on April 1. Will spend the night at the airport then take my first step on the trail April 3.
I'm not anxious. I'm not worried. I'm relieved.
If I had to pick something to be anxious about it would be the introspective part. The physical aspect does not make me wary in the least bit. I know how to be alone with my own thoughts, but I'm pretty sure taking on a long journey will bring up deep thoughts about who I am that I have always avoided getting into. I tend to avoid going too deeply into that subject matter because I've always had to stay focused on homework, tests, work, and general life distractions. Having an existential crisis quietly to yourself at a young age can mess you up when you're in the middle of doing something you didn't want to be doing in the first place. My life has been constructed in the traditional path of school, school, more school than a career. The fact that I suddenly chose the AT marks my rejection of that life. It was so hard to break away when I've spent my entire life working in one direction. None of it made sense to me. That's why I'm relieved even though I have nearly $30,000 in student debt remaining. My mental commitment to anything has never been so surefooted.
Writing will be one of my go to ways of self introspective extraction. This may be why I avoided writing my whole life. There's many things I've been avoiding. The time has come to start letting go of such nonsense. Writing just happens to be one thing I've been willfully neglecting. Its a great tool to use for growth but I hope to get better and use it as a means to connect to the world as well.
Well no more excuses, this is happening and I'm not going to back down. I'm opening the flood gates and marching forward one step at a time. Ever since I was little, I would go off in hiding and do my own thing. Now I'll be opening up little by little. Step by step. I'm breaking away from what has felt so wrong for too long.
Katahdin is not my true destination. I hope you join in on my journey and throw me a few scraps of thought along the way.
Chasing dreams,
Affirm
www.facebook.com/affirm2014 (http://www.facebook.com/affirm2014)
www.trailjournals.com/affirm (http://www.trailjournals.com/affirm)
I'm not anxious. I'm not worried. I'm relieved.
If I had to pick something to be anxious about it would be the introspective part. The physical aspect does not make me wary in the least bit. I know how to be alone with my own thoughts, but I'm pretty sure taking on a long journey will bring up deep thoughts about who I am that I have always avoided getting into. I tend to avoid going too deeply into that subject matter because I've always had to stay focused on homework, tests, work, and general life distractions. Having an existential crisis quietly to yourself at a young age can mess you up when you're in the middle of doing something you didn't want to be doing in the first place. My life has been constructed in the traditional path of school, school, more school than a career. The fact that I suddenly chose the AT marks my rejection of that life. It was so hard to break away when I've spent my entire life working in one direction. None of it made sense to me. That's why I'm relieved even though I have nearly $30,000 in student debt remaining. My mental commitment to anything has never been so surefooted.
Writing will be one of my go to ways of self introspective extraction. This may be why I avoided writing my whole life. There's many things I've been avoiding. The time has come to start letting go of such nonsense. Writing just happens to be one thing I've been willfully neglecting. Its a great tool to use for growth but I hope to get better and use it as a means to connect to the world as well.
Well no more excuses, this is happening and I'm not going to back down. I'm opening the flood gates and marching forward one step at a time. Ever since I was little, I would go off in hiding and do my own thing. Now I'll be opening up little by little. Step by step. I'm breaking away from what has felt so wrong for too long.
Katahdin is not my true destination. I hope you join in on my journey and throw me a few scraps of thought along the way.
Chasing dreams,
Affirm
www.facebook.com/affirm2014 (http://www.facebook.com/affirm2014)
www.trailjournals.com/affirm (http://www.trailjournals.com/affirm)