View Full Version : For the dog lovers.....

09-17-2005, 21:05
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

4. Rottweiler: Make me.

5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

11-09-2005, 02:50
LOL thanks that was great!

Here is what my dog would say:



The Solemates
11-09-2005, 13:40
Black-and-Tan: Ive already got it treed. Its been up on the ceiling for months. Don't take it down.

11-09-2005, 17:32
Great Dane (my Ladybird): "Why are these ceilings so low?"

07-13-2006, 19:38
I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me.
--Jimi Celeste

Cedar Tree
07-13-2006, 20:30
11 year old Pug

Let's go to the store and buy some bulbs.
I'll sit in your lap when you are finished.


Frolicking Dinosaurs
07-13-2006, 20:37
*****z tu - Excuse me, my light has gone out. Change it now. You know I'm high-maintenance

07-13-2006, 20:49
Treeing Walker " Who needs light bulbs, we use moonlight."

07-13-2006, 20:55
My dog (german shepard/mutt mix) "If it doesn't involve food, why should I care?"

07-13-2006, 21:19
bloodhound - Just give me a good whiff of that bulb, I'll find the culprit that burned it out....

07-13-2006, 21:40
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
(sarcasm on)You must really hate the trail to think a dog could be useful.(sarcasm off) :eek:

07-13-2006, 23:03
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend (especially if leashed while on the trail)

Turbo Joe
07-13-2006, 23:13
funny but true story.. the first week i had my puppy she was 9 wks old and we were riding down the road i turned th a/c off and she gave me a look like "what did you do that for?' and put her paws on the dash looked at the a/c panel and turned it back on. but she really doesn't care about a stinkin light bulb

07-14-2006, 00:13

Hmm the light bulb is out, I'll circle around his legs so he trips and breaks his neck then collect the life insurance. Muahahahahhahahahaaaaowwwwww

08-11-2006, 09:33
Belgian Malinois: Let me get you to safety first, and then I'll go change the light bulb. I'll come back to tell you when it's safe to go back in the room.

08-11-2006, 09:49
This was sent to me by a friend, thought it might bring a smile or two!

Subject: Purina Diet

I used to have a Labrador Retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?)

On a whim, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line, was by now, enthralled with my story, particularly a tall man who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I was in the hospital because I had been poisoned by the Purina?

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car ran over me.

I thought the guy was going to have to stagger out the door!

08-16-2006, 00:16
where's the cat part.... " um , dogs don't change the light bulb, people do...so when can I expect the ligth to be back on?"

08-16-2006, 01:46
We got a book from the library the other day that explained why dogs sniff each other's butts. Basically it goes like this:

One day the dogs got together to have a meeting. They all hung their tails on hooks outside the meeting hall so they wouldn't whack each other all day long. A cat got wind of this meeting and decided to check it out. He dressed in a dog suit, complete with tail. He hung his tail on a hook and headed into the meeting hall. The dogs were planning the demise of cats, to put them into pies. So the cat has to escape and yells "FIRE." All the dogs go running and screaming out of the hall randomly grabbing a tail as they go. So now, whenever dogs meet each other they sniff tails to try to find their own. :D