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View Full Version : You Might be An Ultralight Backpacker If...



mochilero
09-19-2005, 14:54
If you you find yourself saying "Hey, that's a good idea," to more than one of the following, you might be an ultralight backpacker. I have been collecting these from various lightweight backpacking forums. Funny, but also mostly true stories.

You Just Might Be An Ultralight Backpacker If...

- Your wife's purse holds more stuff than your backpack.

- You pack light for a family trip to Grandma's house.

- You use the fruit scales in Walmart to determine the weight of a possible new piece of gear.

- At home you use just 4 toilet paper squares, to "practice".

- You read that last one and say, "toilet paper?"

- You have a contribution to this thread.

Lanthar Mandragoran
09-19-2005, 15:49
- You re-evaluate everything you take on business trips (especially how many pairs of underwear and socks are truly necessary for a two-week trip as you can easily wash them in the sink with a couple of drops of dr bronners)

orangebug
09-19-2005, 16:04
- You have ever drilled holes in a toothbrush.

- You've bought a Child's toothbrush for yourself.

TJ aka Teej
09-19-2005, 16:13
You Just Might Be An Ultralight Backpacker If...
If you try to estimate how many grams your next poop will weigh...

If you eye the helium-filled balloons at the check out counter and wonder if you've discovered a negative gram pillow option...

jimmyjob
09-19-2005, 16:15
How about cut a "Child's toothbrush for yourself."???

Just Jeff
09-19-2005, 16:56
If you know the weights of the spoons at popular fast food restaurants...

If you own more silnylon than denim...

Seeker
09-19-2005, 16:58
you've wondered if you can put AquaMira into a travel sized Visine bottle, because it's smaller, and you'd never use the whole thing on a weekend trip anyway.

you have a collection of soda cans on a shelf in the garage so you have building material immediately on hand if someone comes across another stove or pot design for you to try.

you wonder if they make laptop computer cases and soft-side briefcases out of silnylon.

your interest in the Roswell Incident is limited to 'do you think they found any new, lighter metal to make sporks and pots from?'

you overhear your kid telling mom 'no, dad won't want that kind... it's too heavy. get the lighter one.'

you've ever cut a deck of playing cards in half.

your kid can carry your pack or cook a meal on an alcohol stove and thinks nothing of it.

you remember using a 6 volt lantern battery in a flashlight once upon a time, but are too embarrassed to admit it.

you wonder why they can put a man on the moon, but a photon is still so big and heavy.

Just Jeff
09-19-2005, 17:07
you wonder if they make laptop computer cases and soft-side briefcases out of silnylon.
Haha...that settles it; we should both be committed. 'Cept I was wondering if I could make one out of silnylon!

Seeker
09-19-2005, 17:16
If you you find yourself saying "Hey, that's a good idea," to more than one of the following, you might be an ultralight backpacker. I have been collecting these from various lightweight backpacking forums. Funny, but also mostly true stories.

You Just Might Be An Ultralight Backpacker If...
- You use the fruit scales in Walmart to determine the weight of a possible new piece of gear.
- You have a contribution to this thread.
so, is there anything wrong with using the fruit scales at walmart?

peter_pan
09-19-2005, 19:42
...if you move from ounces to grams for how you measure everthing.

...If you know the weights for all your gear and the weights of the next lightest alternatives for three or more iterations.

Pan

neo
09-19-2005, 20:13
heavy packs suck:cool: light is right:cool: neo

Tin Man
09-19-2005, 21:35
If you google the net for dehydrated Beer, Scotch or whatever your pleasure.

If you stash food at every road crossing closest to where you are spending the night.

If you dream of an anti-gravity pack that not only "floats" your pack, but takes a few pounds off you as well!

neo
09-19-2005, 22:09
my lightest pack wieghs 9.2 oz on the postal scale:cool: neo

http://www.whiteblaze.net/gallery/showphoto.php/photo/8074/size/big/sort/1/cat/500

jackiebolen
09-19-2005, 23:58
If you analyze almost everything you eat in terms of the calories/ounce ratio and then ramble on about endlessly to backpacking and hiking partners.

If you cook up a Liptons every once in a while, just for old times sake.

If you plan longer and longer backpacking trips using only a daypack. First the pack started off as a dayhiking pack and now I just got back from a 6 day trip with it.

Moxie00
09-20-2005, 08:47
Ultralite is a fad that will pass. Take what you need, the extra weight will make you stronger. I seen too many hikers carried off by mosquitoes sleeping under tarps. Sometimes they are totally consumed and all you find the next morning is an alcohol stove and a plastic soda bottle filled with unfiltered water. Why freeze at night in your fleese zippered blanket when a six pound Coleman Bag would warm you. Get a tent you can stand up in, you'll enjoy the extra space on rainy days and you can invite fellow hikers in to enjoy your game boy. Don't drink water treated with chemicals when you can use your filter and some fruit to make smoothies with your hand crank blender. Most thru hikes begin during basketball and hockey playoffs and end during football season so bring that small portable TV, keep up with the news, the ultralites will love you for it. A cel phone will keep you in contact and allow you to reserve motel rooms in trail towns. When I hiked through the Smokies, where horses are allowed on the trail, I carried a forge, hammer and anvil so I could make horseshoes to sell to the horse campers. A small automatic weapon is a good idem to carry in bear country and a can of mace will quickly put the hiker that snores in shelters in line. An alcohol stove is good but have you seen how quick you can cook a meal on a Webber gas grill, especially one with an extra burner for pots and pans. There is no reason for thru hiker smell when a portable shower will only add a few pounds to your pack. Yes, the fad will soon pass when hikers realize comfort at the end of a five mile day with a 100 pound pack is more important than 25 miles with nothing but a bandana to sleep in and three cold soda crackers to eat at night.

jimmyjob
09-20-2005, 09:38
If you google the net for dehydrated Beer, Scotch or whatever your pleasure. they sell powered liquor drinks in Europe now:jump...just add water:banana...i need to get some of that.....

ACTUALLY, is anyone on the forum from Europe somewhere...


HOOK A BROTHA' UP!!!!!

Just Jeff
09-20-2005, 11:16
HAHAHA!!! Moxie, that was hilarious...

peter_pan
09-20-2005, 12:21
Moxie00,

Let us know when you plan to hike again...we 'll all stop in...

Cold soda crackers are great with peanut butter which all cold food ULers carry...they just never seem to have the jelly to make it reaaaaallllly good...

Hike on.

Pan

RockyTrail
10-13-2005, 17:42
you have a collection of soda cans on a shelf in the garage so you have building material immediately on hand if someone comes across another stove or pot design for you to try.

.HEY! that's MY garage, no kidding!

By the way if you've been there recently, did you happen to find where I misplaced my 7/16" box-end wrench?:-?

SGT Rock
10-13-2005, 17:54
You go to find a tool in your workshop and have to dig under aluminum can halves, hardware cloth, and prototypes to find them.

c.coyle
10-13-2005, 18:45
- You re-evaluate everything you take on business trips (especially how many pairs of underwear and socks are truly necessary for a two-week trip as you can easily wash them in the sink with a couple of drops of dr bronners)

No kidding, I actually do all that, and I learned it from backpacking. One carry-on (no wheels - useless weight and they actually slow you down), one bike messenger bag, good for 10 days. Haven't checked a bag in years. I weigh my bag before leaving, because I just have to know. :eek:

Seeker
10-13-2005, 22:41
HEY! that's MY garage, no kidding!

By the way if you've been there recently, did you happen to find where I misplaced my 7/16" box-end wrench?:-?
yeah... it's right there next to that pattern you made for a pepsi stove's inner wall, that you messed up on and made 3/32" too short...

flyfisher
10-16-2005, 20:35
You wear a nylon bathing suit instead of underwear all the time.

You consider using a couple arrows as hiking sticks.

You leave your watch at home because it is "too heavy."

You have ever unpacked your pack to show someone what is in it.

You have ever thought after passing a hiker headed the other way - "well that will be a lot to carry to Springer (Katadin)."

You understand why someone has left something both heavy and valuable in a shelter (generator flashlight, SS pots, D cell-size Mag Light)

Omni
10-16-2005, 20:45
If you try to estimate how many grams your next poop will weigh...



If you have ever weighed your poop to see how close your estimate was.

brian
10-16-2005, 21:50
You've ever tried to pick up a pot of boiling water at home barehanded to see if you can live without a pot grabber.

You walk through an office following the white lightswitches around and around and around....as everyone else stares.

Brian

Nightwalker
10-16-2005, 22:24
Yes, the fad will soon pass when hikers realize comfort at the end of a five mile day with a 100 pound pack is more important than 25 miles with nothing but a bandana to sleep in and three cold soda crackers to eat at night.
You may have a point...

Funny post, BTW!

Seeker
10-17-2005, 01:14
You have ever unpacked your pack to show someone what is in it.
if you've ever brought your stuff to work to show someone, because they just didn't understand what you were talking about...

if your kids know where you keep the silver furnace tape, and why...

if your kids automatically rinse their soda cans and put them out by your workbench...

if you've ever brought a pepsi can stove to walmart to show the crafts lady what you needed the little tins for...

if you've replaced all the drawstrings in your stuff sacks with 1/8'' cord instead of the heavier 3/16'' stuff...

hikerjohnd
09-04-2006, 15:44
if you keep a scale in your car in case you are out shopping and stumble across something you may want to buy (OK - I'm guilty...)

SGT Rock
09-04-2006, 16:19
You count how many sheets of toilet paper go into your pack because you know how much they weigh and don't want to carry too many.

Disney
09-04-2006, 16:47
You take scissors to your toothbruth to hack off those extra bristles.

greentick
09-04-2006, 17:12
You wear a nylon bathing suit instead of underwear all the time.


underwear?!?!?! who needs underwear?

FanaticFringer
09-04-2006, 17:24
You shave your whole body to cut weight.:D

Topcat
09-04-2006, 17:37
If you understand that all underwear has 4 sides to use before it is officially dirty

peter_pan
09-04-2006, 18:17
If you understand that all underwear has 4 sides to use before it is officially dirty

LMAO.....

Pan

Ps...you really should was them on the trail...."streaks" add weight...see poop estimates earlier on this thread.....4 streaks could be alot:eek:

Brrrb Oregon
09-04-2006, 18:33
Ultralite is a fad that will pass. Take what you need, the extra weight will make you stronger. I seen too many hikers carried off by mosquitoes sleeping under tarps. Sometimes they are totally consumed and all you find the next morning is an alcohol stove and a plastic soda bottle filled with unfiltered water. Why freeze at night in your fleese zippered blanket when a six pound Coleman Bag would warm you. Get a tent you can stand up in, you'll enjoy the extra space on rainy days and you can invite fellow hikers in to enjoy your game boy. Don't drink water treated with chemicals when you can use your filter and some fruit to make smoothies with your hand crank blender. Most thru hikes begin during basketball and hockey playoffs and end during football season so bring that small portable TV, keep up with the news, the ultralites will love you for it. A cel phone will keep you in contact and allow you to reserve motel rooms in trail towns. When I hiked through the Smokies, where horses are allowed on the trail, I carried a forge, hammer and anvil so I could make horseshoes to sell to the horse campers. A small automatic weapon is a good idem to carry in bear country and a can of mace will quickly put the hiker that snores in shelters in line. An alcohol stove is good but have you seen how quick you can cook a meal on a Webber gas grill, especially one with an extra burner for pots and pans. There is no reason for thru hiker smell when a portable shower will only add a few pounds to your pack. Yes, the fad will soon pass when hikers realize comfort at the end of a five mile day with a 100 pound pack is more important than 25 miles with nothing but a bandana to sleep in and three cold soda crackers to eat at night.

You had me going until you got to the forge and anvil.

Really, though, it used to be that you and the family could stagger out six or eight miles, set up a heavy camp, leave it every day all week so you could enjoy the area with day packs, and your stuff would still be there when you got back each night. Now you have to pack that d****d stuff whereever you go. Who needs that?

hopefulhiker
09-04-2006, 19:03
You might be ultra light if you hold your farts in the hope that they might help you up the next hill because they are lighter than air.
You wait a little longer in the morning to head out so your socks will dry out a little more..
You use your finger to brush your teeth
You use your hands to ..... (Never Mind)

fiddlehead
09-04-2006, 21:51
Your household ran out of dental floss because you had to resole your shoes.

Just Jeff
09-04-2006, 23:02
You've taken duct tape off the roll and put it on a little square of cardboard b/c anything over 5' is too heavy.

Heater
09-05-2006, 01:25
You might be ultra light if you hold your farts in the hope that they might help you up the next hill because they are lighter than air.


If you save 'em up long enough, you can light them to cook with.

Dual use! :banana

:banana <<< farting bannana. brap brap brap brap. OH yeeeeeaaaaah!

Just Jeff
09-05-2006, 01:31
And with a good enough seal, it'll heat the dead air space in your fartsack. I mean in your sleeping bag. Then you can carry a lighter bag.

highway
09-05-2006, 09:27
Not only have you weighed most all backpacking associated gear you have bought in the last few years but you keep all those items/weights listed on a spreadsheet and you refer to it often, adding to it with each additional purchase.

You have a closet full of gear items that still looks & work good, but is just slightly heavier than the last item you purchased replacing it.

You are constantly searching for better (read lighter) combinations of gear and clothes and agonize over the merits of fractions of ounces and grams.

You know how to readily convert ounces and grams...and to hell with pounds and kilos!

Big Dawg
09-05-2006, 10:57
Not only have you weighed most all backpacking associated gear you have bought in the last few years but you keep all those items/weights listed on a spreadsheet and you refer to it often, adding to it with each additional purchase.

You have a closet full of gear items that still looks & work good, but is just slightly heavier than the last item you purchased replacing it.

You are constantly searching for better (read lighter) combinations of gear and clothes and agonize over the merits of fractions of ounces and grams.

You know how to readily convert ounces and grams...and to hell with pounds and kilos!

yes on all.... man, I'm really sick, huh.:D

Just Jeff
09-05-2006, 11:55
Agonize is a good word for it, highway...

Frolicking Dinosaurs
09-05-2006, 12:30
I hereby invite you all to a Gram Wiennies Anonymous meeting. Be sure to bring your scales.

Nightwalker
09-05-2006, 13:14
- You have ever drilled holes in a toothbrush.

- You've bought a Child's toothbrush for yourself.
Long trip: travel toothbrush. Leave the "socket" end at home.

Weekender: leave the brush at home. Use floss.

Having said that, my lightest long distance setup weighs 20 lbs--including water. The ultralight stuff all adds up to counteract the heavier stuff and gets me in the "purtylight" range. :)

Nightwalker
09-05-2006, 13:17
so, is there anything wrong with using the fruit scales at walmart?
Yeah. Not accurate enough. :)

Nightwalker
09-05-2006, 15:59
If you stash food at every road crossing closest to where you are spending the night.
I just bought some 7.62 ammo boxes at the Army/Navy store Saturday. :)

Gonna do a 75-miler next week to see if my ligaments are healed enough to re-start my AT hike. I've been training with a pack for nearly a week now. I hurt, but it's good hurt. Yesterday I did 7 miles with 20 pounds and a 3,800 foot elevation change. Probably gonna skip today. Ow.

I say this in response to the nice folks sending emails asking what's up and asking me to post details. What I really should post is more pictures. Maine is the most wild place that I've seen. At least the *almost part. It wouldn't surprise me if Maine were to secretly sneer at that other state's "10,00 lakes" slogan.

Pictures soon.

*Almost 100-mile almost wilderness.

Brrrb Oregon
09-06-2006, 16:50
...if you won't let friends borrow your stuff because you don't want to carry "their" sweat next time out.

...if you look down at homeless people who need shopping carts.

...if it only leaves home because you'd die if you couldn't mooch it.

....you write and complain to the company if the freeze-dried dinner you bought had too much food in the pouch.

....you prefer diarrhea over constipation because of the weight advantage.

..."Hey! So what if it is a little hard!?! The ground is free and you don't have to carry it!"


Yeah. Not accurate enough. :)

....if you bring a postal scale shopping with you.

erichlf
09-07-2006, 09:51
If you seriously consider buying the newest light weight gear just so you can see if you can make something lighter.

Wolf - 23000
09-13-2006, 17:15
You dream of day someone invent dehydrated water.

Your full pack is consisting mistaken for someone slack-packing.

Wolf