HYOH -my realizations

[CynJ]

After reading a lot of journals and posts I finally put into perspective in r/l what HYOH means.

I normally hate (never told him that obviously) hiking with my husband. He's 6' and I'm 5'2 - he likes to hike 100mph it seems and even with him just walking a normal pace I almost have to jog to keep up. The uphills are awful and I end up not being able to hike far some days because I am wiped out by going too fast.

Well last weekend we decided to head for Talcott MT here in CT and head for the Heublien tower. Its a 1.25 mile trek up the Mountain. (links to this: http://dep.state.ct.us/stateparks/parks/talcott.htm http://www.friendsofheubleintower.org/)

Well he went off on his normal zippy pace and I decided to "hike my own hike" and not try to keep up with him. It was amazing! I wasn't winded at all at the top, and I really enjoyed myself. What a wonderful difference. I also figured out how to incorporate the "rest step" into the really steep parts and what a difference that made on my poor legs.

I was also really able to study "how" I hike - which I think is important to know. For instance - I never thought I would like a Camelback type system -but after realizing that I kept fishing my waterbottle out of its holder for just a small swig often that a Camelback with a tube would probably really suit my needs better. And I also decided that I need to get a set of hiking poles - I do the movement already with my arms when I hike so adding the poles will just help to take stress of my body a little.

I think the other interesting realization was that Mike and the dog enjoyed themselves more too. He too could go at his own pace without me constantly saying to slow up. When I would stop to take photos they would come back to where I was then be off again on their own pace.

All in all it worked out well for everyone. We both enjoyed ourselves, and I learned a lot about my personal hiking style.

Just thought I would share :)

[The Solemates]

If you want to hike with your husband, you lead instead of him. I am 6'4" and my wife is 5'2", even more drastic than you guys. My wife ALWAYS leads while hiking together. I find that I never really want to go that much fast than what she sets as our pace. She is capable of hiking 2.75-3.0 mph, which is just fine with me.

[Footslogger]

[QUOTE=The Solemates]If you want to hike with your husband, you lead instead of him.
====================================
...we don't have the big height difference but we do hike at different paces (hers being a bit slower overall). She generally leads or we both agree to hike alone and meet up at some point up the trail so that our paces don't conflict.

Another benefit (coming from the husband side) of hiking behind my wife is that she's got great legs !!

'Slogger

[Red Hat]

One of the mistakes I made early in my hike was taking HYOH too seriously. Because I was faster than my buddy, I hiked on and ended up waiting at intervals for her. Then I'd get frustrated at having to wait. I ended up leaving her and hiking alone. Then she got frustrated at trying to keep up and eventually went home. I went home too several hundred miles later.

If I would have let her lead, and taken time instead of being in such a hurry, we both might have had better hikes. HYOY? Let the slower hiker lead! Having a partner is more fun.

[Marta]

We've handled couple/family/group hikes in a couple of ways. One has already been mentioned: have the slower hiker walk in front. (And the faster hiker should not harrass, belittle, or ridicule the other hiker's speed!) Another way is to walk separately at our respective paces (also mentioned by someone else) but before we separate we make an ironclad plan for reconnecting. If it's a hike we all know, then we pick a time and place to meet. If it's an area we don't know, we study the maps together and pick a place for the faster hiker(s) to stop and wait. They (the "they" in this situation often being our kids) are also strictly instructed not to pass ANY forks in the trail without waiting for the whole group to catch up. Another rule that evolved is that the faster (young) hikers may not go out of sight of the slower (old) hikers without making and agreeing to a plan for meeting up again. We all agree that it's better to spend a few minutes making a plan we can all stick with than accidentally getting separated and spending time hunting for each other and ending up frustrated and annoyed with each other.

The more general principle is that everyone is an equal partner in the hike--we all get input in where/when/how long so that everyone has a good time. A lot of that comes down to what oldkathy is saying--you've got to hike your own hike and allow everyone else to hike theirs, instead of one boss hiker trying to bend the group to his/her hike. (Hmmm...I wonder if this apply to situations outside of hiking???)

Marta

[MOWGLI]

CynJ:

Its interesting. When I hike with my co-workers, although we all work for a hiking organization, we all hike at different paces and for different reasons. I find myself getting annoyed if I try to hike their hike, because they don't stop to look at birds, flowers, or many of the other things I'm interested in. At a staff retreat last week, I found myself fallling behind the Team, hiking my own hike, quietly, because I was in a new & interesting place,

Similarly, my daughter and wife are not nearly as interested in flora & fauna as I am. Sure, they like to look at a pretty flower or bird, but they're ready to go after 10 seconds or so. So, when I hike with them, I hike their hike, because I'm the hiker in the family. I'm out in the woods by myself all the time. When I'm wiith them, I tend to take longer and moore frequent rest stops, because they don't have the stamina that I do. Which is nice, and different for me.

Glad you could find a way to enjoy hiking with your partner. It is not always easy, although it can be pretty simple.

[Patrick]

Very good thread. I completely agree with letting the slower hiker go first and also with having meeting places. My first long hike, my friend sprinted, I plodded, so he'd get ahead of me, stop for a rest, I'd catch up, move on before him, then he'd pass me again a little later and it would all happen again.

I noticed myself doing something annoying the other day on a rare occasion of being the faster hiker. Be sure you don't have your head up the ass of your partner. It can be a bit tough to be the slow guy. It's much worse if you feel like you're the slow guy and that can be just what happens if the faster person is breathing down your neck the whole time.

I know that when I'm the slower hiker, I often am still hiking much faster than I otherwise would be because I feel like I'm holding the other person up.