View Full Version : questions for hiking couples
Crazy Janey
10-11-2005, 13:37
How does everybody handle hiking with their spouse? Do you share the weight? Does he carry the tent? Do you carry all the food? How do you split it up? How do you organize everything you need to take and share?
Follow up question - how do you get along? :p
I'm probably in the minority, in that I am passionate about backpacking, but my hubby is a little less enthused. He goes because he likes it, and he likes to spend time with me, but it's not his favorite thing to do. We get along fine, but I am very organized (although I'm looking to get better at that) and he is very whimsical. He does not understand packweight, freezerbag cooking or why you need good socks and long johns when it's cold.
Just curious how other couples deal with these things.
Footslogger
10-11-2005, 13:51
Second question first ...we get along fine. Doesn't hurt matters though that we're both hikers and have already done the AT. I think the secret might be that we enjoy each other's company but know when it's time to push away and give some space. There are times we hike a few feet apart and others when we're a mile or so apart. Always end up at the same place each night though.
Onward to camping. I've always had the belief that each and every hiker should be self sufficient (blame it on being an Eagle Scout). When my wife and I met we did some load/tent sharing but both of us (she eventually saw the light) agreed that being together but self sufficient was the best way for us. Case in point ...when you get up in morning in a 2 person tent there's not enough room for both of you to start moving at the same time. Both of us like to get up and get moving and we also both like to pack up as we exit the tent so that once we're outside all that's left is breakfast and pulling your pack together. In a 2 person tent we were literally climbing over each other trying to get dressed and pack up the gear. Bottom line ...we each got a lightweight solo tent and set up right next to each other. Works extremely well for us.
Last but not least, FOOD. The wife and I have different appetites, both in terms of what we eat and when we like to eat. That said, we each pack and carry our own foodbags. There are some items we share/trade back and forth but for the most part we make up our own menus and cook on our own (alcohol) stoves. We've gotten our pack weights down now to where even with the duplication of gear we both carry around 25 - 26 pounds.
Might sound like we aren't much of a couple to come. But that couldn't be further from the truth. This approach might not work for some folks but it's the way we like it.
Any other specific "couples" questions just shoot and I'll do my best to answer them.
'Slogger
We're like you in that I (the female) am the backpacking enthusiast whereas my husband is not. He likes dayhiking, but really doesn't care to spend large chunks of his free time backpacking. We're unlike you in that we're old enough to be your parents, so we've been dealing with this disparity in interests for more than 30 years.
We've basically agreed to disagree about backpacking. I make my plans and invite him along. If he's inclined to go, I do the packing and meal planning, etc. I also choose the trails or AT sections for the weekend. (He would never consent to going out for longer than that.) One thing we do fairly often is to choose a linear hike where we park the car at one end, hike in a few miles, and spend the night. In the morning he hikes back to the car and spend the rest of the day doing whatever he likes (usually painting) and then meets me at a designated time and place. When we do that he carries most of the weight back with him to the car. Otherwise we split it pretty evenly. He's also amenable to helping me out by dropping me off one weekend and picking me up the following weekend at the other end of a section. You might even say he's so relieved that I don't nag him to participate that he volunteers to help me hike solo by being a good hike support person.
When we did our thru in '89, we split up the weight, I carried the water filter, tent poles, stove & fuel. She carried the tent. We split the food about 50-50. One trick we did on the food was to pre-pack each days food and all we ate was what was rationed for that day. Especially inoportant in the early stages of the trail NB wher re-supply points were more spread out. By the Mid Atlantic states it was easier to get to a town to get resupplied.
As far as living together 24/7 for 6 mos, it wasn't a problem for us. Before we took off for our thru, we were living on our boat so we were used to living in confined spaces etc. It also helps that we like to do the same things. It's a mutual thing, if one or the other of you is uncomfortable or doesn't like hiking, of fishing, or mall hoping, or whatever, forcing the other to go along isn't going to improve things.
RLC_FLA
GA->ME '89
LIhikers
10-11-2005, 15:14
My wife and I backpack together and we both enjoy it alot. We each carry our own clothes, sleeping gear, and food but divid up the rest of the stuff. I carry the body and footprint of our 3 person tent while Kathy carries the poles and fly. I carry the stove and fuel, she carries the pot. I carry the water filter, she carries the toilet paper and kirst aid kit.
We have a 3 person tent because if we're going out for a week or less we often take our dog and he goes in the tent too. When he's not with us we have plenty of room to move around. It's a little heavier than a 2 person tent but we knew that when we bought it.
When it comes to hiking sometimes we're close together and sometimes we're not even in sight of each other. The day's lunch stop and destination are predetermined so that we can catch up with each other. Most of the time we're withing talking distance because we enjoy each other. We've had some arguments while out hiking, but no more than at home and probably less than at home.
Crazy Janey
10-11-2005, 15:42
Might sound like we aren't much of a couple to come. But that couldn't be further from the truth. This approach might not work for some folks but it's the way we like it.
'SloggerThis is an interesting approach, and it sounds like it works for you both. That is great. I know that I probably couldn't get my husband to put up his own tent -- he barely knows how to put up the one we have!
We've basically agreed to disagree about backpacking.This sounds like us, as well. When I'm ready to go on a trip, I tell him. Most of the time he is all for it. I do the meal-planning and packing for us, and under normal circumstances, that would make me crazy. But I think it's because I like backpacking so much, that I enjoy taking the lead like that. It does bother me when he gets in his "where does this go" or "how do I do that" kind of moods :D , but that's not very often. And we compromise on a lot, so we do pretty well together.
It's a mutual thing, if one or the other of you is uncomfortable or doesn't like hiking, of fishing, or mall hoping, or whatever, forcing the other to go along isn't going to improve things.I totally agree. While I don't have many other options as far as hiking partners go, and I'm not big on going alone, I basically just offer it up as a suggestion, and if he's into it, which he usually is, we go.
My wife and I backpack together and we both enjoy it alot. We each carry our own clothes, sleeping gear, and food but divid up the rest of the stuff. I carry the body and footprint of our 3 person tent while Kathy carries the poles and fly. I carry the stove and fuel, she carries the pot. I carry the water filter, she carries the toilet paper and kirst aid kit.This sounds mostly like us. I try to get our packs to be pretty similar, but I know he can handle a few more pounds than me. He ends up throwing stuff in that is totally not needed, but I just tell him it's his back, not mine.
dje97001
10-11-2005, 16:43
She is a bit smaller than me (weight) so I end up carrying more weight (around 5 lbs. more)--although it would be nice for each of us to be self-sufficient, so far we've managed to stick pretty close together while hiking. The added weight and cost of outfitting us each separately just isn't the right thing for us at this point. Besides, it does make us more dependent on eachother (which can be a good thing--relationshipwise).
For us, in order to end up with 5 lbs. more in my pack, I end up carrying most of the "shared gear" (tent, stove, fuel) while she ends up carrying the water filter--of course we each have lighters/matches and she also carries the emergency space blanket.
Anyway, just the way another couple does it.
Spirit Walker
10-11-2005, 17:22
My husband and I are both avid long distance hikers. We always hike together, since a lot of the trails we hike require it (i.e. easy to get lost) and besides, we enjoy each other's company. Our natural paces are similar, besides he is good at adjusting his pace to whoever he is with.
We split some of the gear. He usually has the tent and pot/stove/fuel and camera. I carry the first aid kit and filter. Much like some of the other hikers here. We both carry rope where appropriate. He carries the maps and I have the guidebook. On a weekend trip, I'll carry the food so our pack weights are about even. On long trips, I'll carry breakfasts and dinners while he carries lunch and snacks (much heavier). That way both of us get to enjoy a diminishing pack weight.
I hike and my wife (usually) stays home. It seems to work well. At least from my perspective.
She did get a little pissed when I came home on Xmas eve from the AL Pinhoti, and went back out to finish on Dec 26. I don't understand the fuss. I was home for New Years. :datz
The Solemates
10-11-2005, 17:44
My wife and I always share the load and we always hike together. But she always leads, as she is much shorter than I am. We get along very well and both love to hike.
Of the shared gear, I carry our 2-man tent, sleeping bag (top), stove, cook pot, water filter, and half the food. She carries the sleeping bag (bottom) and half the food. Obviously, I carry more, but then again I am nearly 90 pounds heavier than she is. My summer weight is usually around 28lbs when loaded with 3-4 days worth of food, while hers is just below 22lbs.
soulrebel
10-11-2005, 18:37
How do we share and how do we get along?
Like others, I carry the kitchen bag (stove, fuel, etc.) and the tarp. She has the bug tent. She's 135lbs w/ a 11lb base weight and I'm 190lbs w/ 14lb base weight. I should probably even it up or switch packs b/c I think she's tougher than I am.
As far as who's the boss on the trip? It's me. We both love the outdoors but as a male, I have the tendency toward wanting "to have things done a certain way". So I'm having to school her in the ways of NI, so I often tell her at camp that I'll need some shrubberies yea long and yea wide....
While hiking, we alternate the lead or going ahead etc...but she's a leo so she'd prefer to be in front.
Frolicking Dinosaurs
10-12-2005, 04:57
First, my experience, strength and hope on not having to find a divorce lawyer in a trail town :D - every couple, no matter how compatible needs time alone and time with others. Understand this and take that time. How you do it is up to you and your honey. Also, don't push the less enthused partner beyond the point of enjoying the hike too far or he will decide he isn't just so-so about hiking -- he may decide he doesn't like it all.
As for sharing the weight - we used to share it pretty evenly based on our body weight. I was badly injured in an auto accident last year and now can't carry my share. We don't want to give up backpacking so we have made some changes. The male dino got an external frame pack (Kelly Trekker) to help with the additional weight he carries. He carries the tent, his sleeping stuff, my regular sleeping bag, the food we aren't eating that day, 90% of the water and all of our clothing (including a breathable, waterproof jacket for him since I have his rain gear). I carry the cooking stuff and stove, that day's food, both ponchos (our rain gear - makes a tarp and an inner tarp for warmth in an emergency), my Thermarest prolite 4 pad and a fleece bag (this is an extra item I now need to keep a damaged hip / leg warm enough to be able to hike the next day - it would serve as a bag in an emergency). With this set up, we could both survive if we got separated.
Auntie Mame
10-15-2005, 21:16
Just discovered this thread tonight, and am pleased as punch to see the discussion on hiking as a couple. Thanks to everyone who has contributed, its great to hear how people work it out. We are shooting for a March '07 GA-ME, and are enjoying having a shared enthusiasm in the works. Married 33 years, have hiked off and on since the dawn of time, or so it seems! But true long-distance hiking is a new venture. Lightening up quite a bit from the initial gear of the 1960's - '70's.
I wish I could have the "problem" of deciding who carries what with my wife. She cannot backpack. Even a camprest isn't comfortable enough for her back. I want to try a hammock, but she has it in her head that she can't do that either, and once she decides something no matter how little (or NO) info that decision was based on, there is NO changing it. And, having never, ever, her entire life, been in a hammock she has taken all that experience and determined that they arn't comfortable. NO, getting her to "Just try it" is not an option, but thanks for the suggestion. :datz
We do car camp, have a trailer & everything. She loves that, says she would like to BP with me, but, , , , , , , ,
Anyway, she do support my hiking, :sun just don't do it with me.
Doctari.
I carry my stuff plus the tent, stove, water filter and half of the food. She will carry her stuff and the other half of the food. We get along great!! We met 5 years ago on a day hike with the Carolina Mtn Club. We sometimes hike with our dogs. We section hike the AT and do some weekend overnights in Pisgah or GSMNP. :)
Trail Dog
10-20-2005, 09:42
When my wife and I started hiking together we were not married and many told me that if you start hiking and your married you may end up divorced and if you start hiking and your not married you may end up husband and wife.
For us it was the latter. Since my hiking weight is near 200 pounds and my wife only 130 we just use the twenty/twenty five percent rule she carries 20-25 percent of her weight and i do the same percent of my weight so we usually just give me 5 pounds for her 3.25 pounds of gear. We arnt all that accurate since she likes the weight and i am called the Mule we just sort of do what is comfortable and never really had problems. At times she would leave town at 40lbs and i at 55lbs and others she would be as low as 35 and I would find myself closer to 60. Once we both left at 40lbs.
Just try to be aware of eachothers problems and when it comes to hiking as a hubby and wife team you really need to let each other know everything that you feel as far as pain and discomfort cause you are usually hiking side by side. My wife and I never strayed more than 20 feet apart on the trail.
Neither of us are very organized though so we sort of empty our packs in the tent each night and hope we find what we need.
anneandbenhike
10-24-2005, 20:51
My husband and I have been hiking together for 32 years and have done about 800 miles on the AT including a 217 mile section (our longest) over the past two weeks. We weigh about the same so share all gear about equally. We each carry our own choice of snacks, carry only one sleeping bag which zips out almost flat and a Tarptent, which gives us a bit more room. We hike together most of the time and are only separated by 15-30 minutes at most and always have a join-up location. We had to switch packs on the last hike as his hip belt became too small when he lost weight! We both use Granite Gear...one ozone and one vapor trail. Fortunately, Rockfish Gap Outfitters was able to supply him with a smaller belt! He carries stove, tent, sleeping bag and a share of food. I carry maps, alcohol, and perhaps a bigger share of food. He usually carries a pound or two more than I do. Hiking together is a wonderful experience and the long distance of the last section gave us much more of an idea what a thru would be like in terms of resupply, weather, hitchhiking, etc. I would not trade the hike for anything now, even though the nine days of rain was hard!! Maybe now we will look at a thru from Harper's Ferry to Maine.
baseballswthrt
10-29-2005, 09:06
My husband and I always hike together. He carries his own stuff and most of the food, the tent, and the water filter. I carry the groundcloth, my stuff, and the cooking gear with the stove inside of it. We each carry a bottle of alcohol. We always weigh our packs before we leave home and try to get them as even as possible. He usually ends up with about 1 pound more than me.
On the trail, he is faster than me so he leads. If he gets ahead of me, he stops and waits for me to catch up, but we make sure we can always see each other. He will stop and rest and wait for me to catch up and then we take a short break.
We absolutely love being together and doing stuff together so it works for us.