View Full Version : Parental Concerns...
masonormous
09-21-2014, 00:14
Hello everyone! I am in the early stages of planning a NOBO thru anywhere from April to May of 2015. This is my first post, and will surely not be the last. Now with the purpose of the post...
I am 19, and will be 20 when I (Hopefully) hit the trail. I live with my mom and step-dad, and recently told her about my potential plans to do the AT. She seemed very disapproving of the journey... Thinking it irresponsible to leave my job, and everything else behind. While I understand her concerns, I still would like for her to be more accepting to the decision. By no means will her approval determine whether or not I will be doing the journey, nor am I seeking her approval, I just think it would make it easier on both of us to be on semi-level terms. So far our conversations lead to frustration on my end, and mostly un-needed advice from her... i.e. "you're gonna have to pay your bills" "how do you think you can do this when you have only been backpacking for a week a couple of times" etc.
I don't expect her to understand my reason for doing this, because I do not completely understand myself... It is just something that has constantly been calling to me for the past few months. So I was hoping to gather some advice by some people who are much more experienced in this subject, than I am myself. Any questions, concerns, criticism, and advice would be greatly appreciated.
Slo-go'en
09-21-2014, 00:54
The first thing to ask is "Are her concerns justified?" Unfortunately, it takes a lot of money to thru hike the AT these days and no doubt that it at the core of the dispute. If you have even just 2 or 3 thousand to spend on this trip (and most spend double that), she likely believes it could be better spent on other things. And if you don't have that cash, then where is going to come from?
I'm of the opinion that you need to be able to stand on your own 2 feet before you can hike 2000 miles.
gsingjane
09-21-2014, 06:39
Hi there! I wish you lots of luck on your hike. It's kind of an amazing thing to do.
Now, I am the parent of three children who have already been, or are, your age. (And one who will be your age in 3 years.) I think, were any of them to come to me with a plan to thru-hike, and this is me who is already very sympathetic to and supportive of the idea, my primary response would be - so what's the plan sweetie? Going on the trail for six months is a terrific thing, but you always have to come back off the trail at some point, and "I'll figure it out when it happens" isn't actually the most encouraging thing a parent could hear.
A lot of parents, myself included, are pretty concerned about this idea that their children will not gain independence in due time. Nobody expects you to have a house and a professional job and be married at age 19, but we like to see that our children are at least on their way. I am sure your mom and step-dad are getting on towards retirement age, and generally, parents do not want to think that their kids will still be living at home indefinitely as that would change the shape and texture of their own plans tremendously.
I think if it were me, I would work on two plans, the first is (as Slo noted above) figuring out a fiscally prudent and responsible way to finance your hike. If it turns out you have to wait another year to save enough money, that's okay. Second, I would work on a plan for what you'll do when you come back. If you're sure your boss will take you back, that's great, but I'd then assure my folks that as soon as I returned, I'd begin saving for an apartment and not just have an open-ended plan to stay living at home. If you have thoughts of pursuing additional education (and in my view that's something you probably should consider), then start putting that in place now, thinking about where you'd go and what you'd do. You don't have to lock yourself into some iron plan from which you can never escape, but your mom does need to know that you are thinking about these things, and that you have their concerns (which sound to me like very valid concerns) firmly in mind.
I hope that helps!
Jane
Not sure why others are assuming that you don't have the money aspect figured out. We don't know you (and it's really none of our business) but it's not a stretch to think you already have funds to make this happen.
Your question seems to be more of the Dr. Phill variety-- how to handle your Mother's emotions.
You seems to have the first part figured out. That is to say you recognize they are her emotions/concerns and as a man you most certainly don't need to be driven by them-- but as a good son you want to respect them.
Not sure any one here could ever answer how to best do that in your particular situation, but if I were you I would keep in mind what every salesman knows -- a person's stated objections are not always their real objection.
BTW, there are a lot of videos and even stuff on NetFlix (like the National Geographic special) that can introduce a others to the beauty and joy of the AT in a easy-going way.
Just be sure to prescreen some of these first -- at least one I have seen make overemphasize the culture of smoking weed along the way. That may well be part of what's out there, but someone predisposed to "disapproval" could latch on to that.
Pedaling Fool
09-21-2014, 07:25
...By no means will her approval determine whether or not I will be doing the journey, nor am I seeking her approval, I just think it would make it easier on both of us to be on semi-level terms. So far our conversations lead to frustration on my end, and mostly un-needed advice from her... i.e. "you're gonna have to pay your bills" "how do you think you can do this when you have only been backpacking for a week a couple of times" etc.
That's what you get for living with mom. Don't move back in after your hike, or else you're just gonna hear more of this. That's just what moms do.:)
Traveler
09-21-2014, 08:19
Your mother's concerns are for her, as legitimate as you feel your position is. I am sure there is a lot of "unneeded advice" on a host of issues, some based on her own experiences in life, some based on her concern for your safety, some based on her concern for your future. This is a significant decision you are making that will impact your life in a lot of ways, along with that of your family. Due to its importance and potential impact on others, there are some hard questions you should carefully weigh as objectively as possible. For example;
OCDave has a good point, you should be able to afford the trip itself before you take a long walk like this. There are a variety of expenses you will have; transportation, hotels/hostels, laundry, food, replacement gear, and any emergency needs that pop up. What have you determined the minimum amount of the trip will be and what level of funding do you have to meet the minimum? You will probably hear some folks have done this for just a few thousand dollars, but the average rule of thumb I have seen the most is around $1,000 a month. At four to five months this can add up.
How will you manage your money during time you are on the trail? Do you have a debit card you can pre-load and keep track of your costs as you go? Are you planning on using a credit card for this, and if so, who will monitor and pay the card bills as they arrive?
Related to finances, do you have medical insurance coverage in case you get sick or have an injury during the journey? Among the most common reason people don't finish the trail is injury or illness. How is that insurance funded during your hike? There may be other considerations you have, like medication needs that will add to the hard costs of the journey.
Also related to costs of the journey, what kind of gear do you currently have? Are you fully outfitted or will you need new equipment, clothing, and/or foot gear? If you need gear, have you determined what you will need, the cost, and funding source? You will likely need to replace some gear like footwear during the trek, what are you planning for this cost and funding? If you don't have all the gear you will use, how much do you need and do you have the necessary cash to purchase it?
These expenses should be thought out and totaled to determine what your minimal cost estimate is and compare it to your cash reserves to ensure they are enough. If you will require some family financial support, only you can determine what level of impact to your family budget would be acceptable.
You don't say what was included in the "everything else" you are leaving behind, besides a job. Are you in school or is the job an apprentice position, if so how will you return to school or reacquire the apprenticeship opportunity on your return? Do you have a pet you would leave for others to care for and if so, how will you fund this? How about a car or other large items that will need storage, can you leave them where they sit or will you need to get a secure garage/storage site?
Then there is the journey itself. At 19, most things physical are probably inside your reach. However, what are you doing now to prepare yourself for a journey of this level? There is far more to this than physical ability, however that is certainly a part of it.
I completely understand the calling aspect of this and the adventure it represents. If you are taking this seriously these are some of the questions you should be mulling over.
masonormous
09-21-2014, 14:34
I'm in the process of saving up, and her concerns are justified. Ill hopefully have around 3000 (not including gear). Shes just afraid I will turn into this bear-grills rambler, who goes off on an adventure every 6 months...
masonormous
09-21-2014, 14:37
I thought about this for a long while. But I believe It will be easier to do this at my current position. No major job, No car payment, no rent... The less financial obligations I have, the easier it will be to save up, and hit the trail.
masonormous
09-21-2014, 14:47
Not sure why others are assuming that you don't have the money aspect figured out. We don't know you (and it's really none of our business) but it's not a stretch to think you already have funds to make this happen.
Your question seems to be more of the Dr. Phill variety-- how to handle your Mother's emotions.
You seems to have the first part figured out. That is to say you recognize they are her emotions/concerns and as a man you most certainly don't need to be driven by them-- but as a good son you want to respect them.
Not sure any one here could ever answer how to best do that in your particular situation, but if I were you I would keep in mind what every salesman knows -- a person's stated objections are not always their real objection.
This guy hit the nail on the head. My finances/gear expenses are being handled, and calculated. I'm fairly certain I can save money in time to get a good start. I just need to ease her into the idea that I can manage to live out of a backpack for 5 months.
.... No major job, No car payment, no rent... The less financial obligations ...
Perhaps these are the issues with which your mother has concerns; Less obligations vs not assuming adult responsibilities. At 19 yo going on 20, is your mom trying to communicate that she is expecting more from you?
masonormous
09-21-2014, 14:57
Your mother's concerns are for her, as legitimate as you feel your position is. I am sure there is a lot of "unneeded advice" on a host of issues, some based on her own experiences in life, some based on her concern for your safety, some based on her concern for your future. This is a significant decision you are making that will impact your life in a lot of ways, along with that of your family. Due to its importance and potential impact on others, there are some hard questions you should carefully weigh as objectively as possible. For example;
OCDave has a good point, you should be able to afford the trip itself before you take a long walk like this. There are a variety of expenses you will have; transportation, hotels/hostels, laundry, food, replacement gear, and any emergency needs that pop up. What have you determined the minimum amount of the trip will be and what level of funding do you have to meet the minimum? You will probably hear some folks have done this for just a few thousand dollars, but the average rule of thumb I have seen the most is around $1,000 a month. At four to five months this can add up.
How will you manage your money during time you are on the trail? Do you have a debit card you can pre-load and keep track of your costs as you go? Are you planning on using a credit card for this, and if so, who will monitor and pay the card bills as they arrive?
Related to finances, do you have medical insurance coverage in case you get sick or have an injury during the journey? Among the most common reason people don't finish the trail is injury or illness. How is that insurance funded during your hike? There may be other considerations you have, like medication needs that will add to the hard costs of the journey.
Also related to costs of the journey, what kind of gear do you currently have? Are you fully outfitted or will you need new equipment, clothing, and/or foot gear? If you need gear, have you determined what you will need, the cost, and funding source? You will likely need to replace some gear like footwear during the trek, what are you planning for this cost and funding? If you don't have all the gear you will use, how much do you need and do you have the necessary cash to purchase it?
These expenses should be thought out and totaled to determine what your minimal cost estimate is and compare it to your cash reserves to ensure they are enough. If you will require some family financial support, only you can determine what level of impact to your family budget would be acceptable.
You don't say what was included in the "everything else" you are leaving behind, besides a job. Are you in school or is the job an apprentice position, if so how will you return to school or reacquire the apprenticeship opportunity on your return? Do you have a pet you would leave for others to care for and if so, how will you fund this? How about a car or other large items that will need storage, can you leave them where they sit or will you need to get a secure garage/storage site?
Then there is the journey itself. At 19, most things physical are probably inside your reach. However, what are you doing now to prepare yourself for a journey of this level? There is far more to this than physical ability, however that is certainly a part of it.
I completely understand the calling aspect of this and the adventure it represents. If you are taking this seriously these are some of the questions you should be mulling over.
"Everything else" is just a bland term. No real meaning behind it really, I just meant my home, family, pretty much the social aspect of my current life halting for a few months.
As for medical insurance, My dad is letting me stay on his until I get through with college (which I am taking a break from, for a long unrelated subject). However, he understands, and actually greatly supports my decision to do the AT.
Mentally, I don't know how to prepare for the journey. I'm reading book after book to get an idea of the troubles people encounter, be it emotional, or psychological.
I know it might be a bold and presumptuous decision, but im going to try and do this with as little/cheap town visits as possible. Very few zero days to save money, and gain miles. I know it can be done with the budget I have. But if I can do it is another question...
Thanks for the long reply! No advice from anyone is going un-noted.
$3000? That is the bare minimum for most people. $4000 would be better. And that is after you have all the gear.
I'd suggest at least once a month, going out all weekend hiking and camping. This will do several things. Test all your gear. Make sure you know how to use it all. You mom will see you leave Friday after work, and return Sunday evening, safe, smiling, fed, etc. Go in bad weather also.
masonormous
09-21-2014, 15:01
BTW, there are a lot of videos and even stuff on NetFlix (like the National Geographic special) that can introduce a others to the beauty and joy of the AT in a easy-going way.
Just be sure to prescreen some of these first -- at least one I have seen make overemphasize the culture of smoking weed along the way. That may well be part of what's out there, but someone predisposed to "disapproval" could latch on to that.
I watched the one on netflix with her several months ago actually. But its more geared towards the biological aspects of the trail, as apposed to the thru hiking itself... I agree that educating her on what exactly I will be doing will greatly help. But I suppose its just a kid deciding to go on a 6 month vacation in her eyes.
masonormous
09-21-2014, 15:03
$3000? That is the bare minimum for most people. $4000 would be better. And that is after you have all the gear.
I'd suggest at least once a month, going out all weekend hiking and camping. This will do several things. Test all your gear. Make sure you know how to use it all. You mom will see you leave Friday after work, and return Sunday evening, safe, smiling, fed, etc. Go in bad weather also.
I've done this more times than I can count. I go on a 5 day trip with some high school friends every summer, and have been for the past 5 years. And just about every weekend I go to a state park to backpack.
Mentally, I don't know how to prepare for the journey. I'm reading book after book to get an idea of the troubles people encounter, be it emotional, or psychological.
A solo hike this fall on over a long and rainy long weekend this fall might provided some insight too :).
As for reading, please read this:
http://www.spiriteaglehome.com/THP_top.html
Then read it over again a few times more. Its good stuff.
"He'll be back in 3 days." "He doesn't have any idea what he's doing." "He's never been camping for more than 3 days before."
This is what I heard from my mother before I left. Along with the same concerns about leaving a good job. I started in February and made it 850 miles. Believe it or not, most people that attempt this have never been backpacking before. You'll find another job.
Moms just worry. It is what they do. The best way to truly make her prepared is to go out and actually do the journey.
I'm 40 years old. My Mom still worries about me even when I take a weekend trip solo. :)
Another Kevin
09-21-2014, 20:20
My mom worried about me right up to her dying day, even when the worry had transmogrified to, "do you think you should be trying something like that ... at your age?"
If the parents are paying for the trip, then you owe them some input in the decisions. If you're traveling on your own nickel, then ... go carpe yourself some diem!
I thought about this for a long while. But I believe It will be easier to do this at my current position. No major job, No car payment, no rent... The less financial obligations I have, the easier it will be to save up, and hit the trail.
WOW, maybe this is the problem! I am assuming that you have no rent because you are living at home. You have no rent because your mom is subsidizing your existence. Maybe, she is dreaming of the day where she no longer has to do that and you going on a multi month vacation before you are able to support yourself is rather irresponsible IF you are planning to go back home and have your mom subsidize your living. I really get a kick out of entitled kids who think living at home is free. Maybe free for them but not free.
Now, if you are in a position to support yourself post hike then her concerns about responsiblity are not your concern.
WOW, maybe this is the problem! I am assuming that you have no rent because you are living at home. You have no rent because your mom is subsidizing your existence. Maybe, she is dreaming of the day where she no longer has to do that and you going on a multi month vacation before you are able to support yourself is rather irresponsible IF you are planning to go back home and have your mom subsidize your living. I really get a kick out of entitled kids who think living at home is free. Maybe free for them but not free.
Now, if you are in a position to support yourself post hike then her concerns about responsiblity are not your concern.
PS. If you were my kid then your stuff would be in boxes upon your return.
PS. If you were my kid then your stuff would be in boxes upon your return.
:clap:bse:clap
rocketsocks
09-21-2014, 21:29
Hello everyone! I am in the early stages of planning a NOBO thru anywhere from April to May of 2015. This is my first post, and will surely not be the last. Now with the purpose of the post...
I am 19, and will be 20 when I (Hopefully) hit the trail. I live with my mom and step-dad, and recently told her about my potential plans to do the AT. She seemed very disapproving of the journey... Thinking it irresponsible to leave my job, and everything else behind. While I understand her concerns, I still would like for her to be more accepting to the decision. By no means will her approval determine whether or not I will be doing the journey, nor am I seeking her approval, I just think it would make it easier on both of us to be on semi-level terms. So far our conversations lead to frustration on my end, and mostly un-needed advice from her... i.e. "you're gonna have to pay your bills" "how do you think you can do this when you have only been backpacking for a week a couple of times" etc.
I don't expect her to understand my reason for doing this, because I do not completely understand myself... It is just something that has constantly been calling to me for the past few months. So I was hoping to gather some advice by some people who are much more experienced in this subject, than I am myself. Any questions, concerns, criticism, and advice would be greatly appreciated.
Ok, since you asked.
...I tell every young person to stay at home as long as they possibly can and take that time to save money...cause your gonna need it. If your living home (my house) your either in school and working part time, or working full time and saving money. I moved out at 19 and had three jobs at one time. If you need a vacation, that's on you, I'm sure your Mother would like a vacation too, most mothers would. now if your moms is ok with you going and doing that, then that's on her. I get your calling, it's part of the human condition, but that doesn't mean your entitled to it. good luck what ever you decide to do...sounds like your going.
You will not be in a better position to go on this trip than now. Or you could pass and wait 45 years. if you got 4k or 5k in the bank there is nothing stopping you. GO NOW
Pedaling Fool
09-22-2014, 07:21
I thought about this for a long while. But I believe It will be easier to do this at my current position. No major job, No car payment, no rent... The less financial obligations I have, the easier it will be to save up, and hit the trail.
But what about after the hike? Are you planning on just moving back in with mom?
You say your mom thinks you're being irresponsible...well, maybe she's on to something here:-?
But what about after the hike? Are you planning on just moving back in with mom?
You say your mom thinks you're being irresponsible...well, maybe she's on to something here:-?
It is possible that Mom's concerns are not the one she has articulated.
How the hell would any of us know?
Biological dad is said to be supportive, and it's not like this kid is leaving a wife and new baby behind when he goes for a walk.
One can always make an argument (an a good one at that) not to do something.
The most irresponsible thing to do in life is let opportunities pass. Be kind, be smart, and accept the consequences of your decision.
Not it sure why everyone here is reacting why they are.
maptester
09-22-2014, 09:39
My son was 19 when he started his thru hike. My wife and I were supportive of his hike--at the time, the last thing he needed was to go to school; he needed to go out and do something on his own. One of the ways to help us stay connected (and worry a little less) was a phone call every so often--maybe once a week at times. Helped us keep track of where he was and it was reassuring to hear his voice and know how the hike was going (both good and bad). As my brother said, he left a boy and came back a man. And I also agreed this is probably the best time for you to go hike the AT--your age and few commitments the main reasons. Good luck on your hike masonormous.
Pedaling Fool
09-22-2014, 09:55
It is possible that Mom's concerns are not the one she has articulated.
How the hell would any of us know?
Biological dad is said to be supportive, and it's not like this kid is leaving a wife and new baby behind when he goes for a walk.
One can always make an argument (an a good one at that) not to do something.
The most irresponsible thing to do in life is let opportunities pass. Be kind, be smart, and accept the consequences of your decision.
Not it sure why everyone here is reacting why they are.Yes, how the hell would any of us know.
I don't claim to know and no one else knows what's really going on and that's just an inherent fact when a stranger asks other stanger(s) of their opinion, regardless of how articulate they are.
I don't have an issue with him going on a hike and if his parent(s) are supporting him and they don't mind, then he's one lucky dude. However, they facts he laid out seems to indicate that his mother thinks he's being irresponsible. No one here knows why, but that's what the OP said; BTW, I find it interesting that the OP doesn't live with father, but the father is totally OK....:-?
Seems to me this kid doesn't really have a grasp on responsibility, seeing how he lives with his mother and his own mother expresses her concerns, not over his safety, but his sense of responsibility.
BTW, Mom hasn't articuated her concerns -- he has -- that's all we got to go off. Yes, he's not leaving a kid and wife behind, but I haven't called him a total louse, I've been fairly measured in my response; to me, he just comes across as most kids that have yet to take on responsibilities in life, but not a bad person. I was young once and I can relate, when I think back at some of the dumb, naive things I thought and said. I also admit I may be totally off the mark, but I'm just going off the OP's info presented.
Ground Control
09-22-2014, 10:07
Whatever you do, DO NOT live your life based on parental fears.
I chickened out on some of the biggest endeavors of my 20s because my worrisome mother's anxiety would become downright overbearing. Now, at closer to 40, the best approach is to manage how I communicate with her about potentially worrisome things.
You know what might really help? Show her. During your current prep time, (and ideally before the upcoming daylight savings time change) invite your mother on an overnight hike. Figure out a nearby hiking/camping loop she can handle, scrounge around to outfit her with makeshift gear that will make her experience comfortable, and plan it down to the T. Map, meals, overlooks, potential overnight camp spots... plan out an excellent, albeit brief backpacking experience for her to share with you, and at least some of her fears will be calmed.
It sounds like discussing your trail exit strategy, and show her evidence that you have a plan to re-enter society/school/workforce afterwards, and other fears will also be assuaged.
You can tell people all you want, but nothing works like showing them.
My opinion is that young people with an interest in long hikes should go for it assuming that they have the financial means to do so. Too many things get in the way later in life. I hiked a small portion of the JMT in 1993 at age 19 in the summer before my junior year of college and I can't even recall the reason I didn't thru hike (I know it was vaguely related to wanting to save more money from my summer job) although I remember that I wanted to. Surely there would be time to do so later right? Well, I finally thru hiked the JMT 20 years later last summer and lots of guys my age would never be able to take that amount of time off. And when we're talking about a 4-5 month thru hike, the number of people between college age and retirement age who can do it is pretty small. So if the OP has the funds for the hike, I say go for it, and if there are parental concerns (which is normal), get a SPOT and check in daily. My parents are still concerned about me at age 41 and the SPOT is a huge help.
CarlZ993
09-22-2014, 14:22
Parents will always worry about their children. When will they be become self-reliant? Will they be safe in their endeavors? Two years before my Mom passed away, I retired from my profession (Law Enforcement). She worried my entire career that she'd get a knock on the door in the middle of the night with some bad news. Moms (& Dads) worry. I have a step-son in Law Enforcement. My wife & I worry about him. That's just what parents do.
I can only assume that it is physically easier to thru-hike at a young age vs an older one. But, the older age hiker usually is in better financial circumstances to do a thru-hike. And trust me, it costs more money than you think to do a thru-hike.
Advice? Work multiple jobs and save as much money as possible (after paying your Mom some rent $). Start your hike a little later than normal & hike a lot faster than normal. Result? Takes less time, need less equipment, spend less money.
And remember, you're now technically an adult in almost all circumstances (except purchasing alcohol & firearms). I consider an adult as someone who is supporting themselves. Regardless of your age, if you're still relying on your parent's support, you are a kid. Work hard at becoming an adult & chase your dreams & passions.
MuddyWaters
09-23-2014, 23:59
If you are dependent on parents for support, you just need to work it out with them.
Parental concerns regarding safety are easy to allay.
Julesmcph
09-24-2014, 13:18
I think this will be one of the best times of your life. I am just finishing up the trail this year. I started with my daughter, she finished early because she needed to start school this fall.
I understand your mothers concerns. She should talk with other parents of kids who have done the trail. It is such a great opportunity for growth, increasing confidence and just getting away from everyday life.
I'm sure my daughter would chat with you if you would like to hear about her journey.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
booney_1
09-25-2014, 16:00
Since you are taking time off from college anyways...I'd tell your parents that you will learn more about budgeting money and time, and planning in general than you would be working an entry level job. You will be attempting something that is challenging, physically and mentally. You'll meet a wide range of people that you would not have gotten to know otherwise. You will have lots of time to think...about yourself...your future...everything else.
Write during your hike, consider it like a school assignment. Describe the Appalachians....do character sketches of the people you meet...write fiction based on the AT. You have a fantastic well spring of stimulation and experiences. Communicating and observing, people, and places is a great skill no matter what you do in the future.
Too often "people" think educational experiences are the only path to enlightenment and true education..wrong.
There is great value in you working now and saving your money for this. You are learning the value of work and money...it's one of the most important things young people need.
Given the choice of working in a minimum wage job before resuming a college education and hiking the AT (assuming you pay!)...there is no question
that you will get more out of the AT.
Parent of three 20's...and I'd tell them this also. Doing something hard is always worthwhile...
JohnnySnook
09-27-2014, 18:54
I say if you're young and can take part in any adventure go for it. Most are only able to do this when they're young or old. By the time young kids grow go up people will be living well into they're 100's.
My best friend and I were sent of to Costa Rica 20+ years ago(BEFORE THE TOURISTS ARRIVED) during our summer break between junior an senior year of high school for 3 weeks. We trailblazed(bus rides) all over the country on our own looking for waves. All we had was a hotel the first night, bus ride to the beach, and a hotel for night at the beach and vise-versa on the way back. From then on it was up to us and those are three weeks I'll never forget! I think we talked to our parents once or twice each week when we could get a call out. This experience kept be traveling all over central and south america. Living weeks on a tiny island two hours boat ride from land with no phone and power for a few hours everyday.
The pure youthful joy of traveling at a young age alone is something that I can't reach in my middle ages. No matter how nice a trip it is! I do still get happy but the mind gets jaded with time.
Stay strong. Prove to her you can do it. May work a deal out if you can save money and show her its for the trip and your out buying stuff un-related to your trip you can gain her just. Maybe work a deal with your father to match the funds you save if he can. Maybe mom also.
You can read the rest of the post here.
http://www.whiteblaze.net/forum/showthread.php?106520-15-year-old-girl-youngest-ever-to-complete-an-AT-thru-hike
JohnnySnook
09-27-2014, 19:12
You will learn a lot from it if you decide to go.
We had to learn about traveling and dealing with customs, managing a very limited amount of funds and mostly used travelers checks. Many of the older traveling surfers took us under their wings when we where staying in small hotels, hostels, or make shift surf camps from some ex-pats. Learning to deal with corrupt cops over the years took some time. I wish I smelled like a thru hiker in those days. I would of come home with more clothes, more money, and a few watches given as bribes to just get away from them.
As I got little older and trips became less about myself and more about the experiences they got even better.
We visited more remote areas and I would just come home with a few items leaving almost everything to the super poor. Until you've lived in some little village surfing and the locals become your friends. Bring you into there little world. Which happens to be a 10 x 10 shack with no power for a family of 4.
These are the experiences you really remember. Its the people. Yes I can remember the epic days of surfing but out of the 100's and 100's of days surfing I only really remember a few compared to the number of experiences with the people I meet.
These are the things to do while your young.
Get out there and have fun!
kayak karl
09-27-2014, 19:26
i have 4 children and parental concerns for all. some justified and others just being an over protective dad, but i don't have the same concerns for any two. because of their past experience i react different. if one asked for money i would just give it. another i would want a business plan, 5 year projection and a power point demo showing exactly how it will be used. :) is her concern reallthat you will become "Bear Grylls a British adventurer and writer who has a net worth of $10 million dollars" :)
JohnnySnook
10-01-2014, 01:28
I guess we lost this youngster. Maybe he shouldn't hike the AT. Maybe his mom is right. I know my god-daughters are his age and they are on the internet all day. I wouldn't like to see posts in the missing hiker section looking for him only to find out he's partying in some town for a week or two. Just hope he doesn't get any poor thru-hikers in trouble for donating to his partying habits. Hopefully this doesn't happen but I think if I was going to do a thru-hike in the day and age I'd want to be 21. Maybe wait a year kid.
Hey Kid! Are you really serious about this hike????
Now none of this is fact and I'm just stating different scenarios. At least in other countries you just pay the cops off.
If I was 18 to 21 again I'd hit the trail no matter what. Bet it could be done for less than $100. Health Insurance and other such matters are not something an 18 y/o should worry about.
Suggest to your mother some other options you are considering. 1) travelling in China for 6 months 2) spending the summer in Europe 3) enlisting in the Marines..everything is relative, your choice to to the AT is not something to worry about.
You should plan to save at least 5 grand for the trip (better a little extra than not enough. While I understand that you want to go whether Mom likes it or not.. it would be a lot more fun I would think if Mom, step dad, friends etc. can be participants in your journey. They can help by sending items via mail and be important moral support via the phone calls you inevitably make home. Don't let your job keep you from doing the hike. There are other jobs when you are done. But try not to burn any bridges with family in making the hike happen. They can be a terrific source of support.. something you are going to want to have.
Traveler
10-04-2014, 08:42
If I was 18 to 21 again I'd hit the trail no matter what. Bet it could be done for less than $100. Health Insurance and other such matters are not something an 18 y/o should worry about.
To dispel misinformation, food costs alone would be far more than $100 dollars, even begging from others along the way. Other costs like gear replacement, zero days in a dry hotel room, laundry, phone calls, etc will total more than $100 each.
To the insurance issue, anyone thinking about this seriously has a lot to consider. What does one do with a car for up to 6 months? If they have a credit card they will live off of, how will the bills going to a home address be paid? Who takes care of a pet if there is one? And, how will one pay for emergency medical services if they are needed during the journey? These are all issues that impact family or society overall, which should be considered and solved prior to going if one is being responsible.
There are myriad different lessons long distance hiking can teach, reliance upon oneself and responsibility for oneself being two of them very high on the acquired totem of wisdom.
$100 per month is going to be woefully inadequate for almost anyone. After a month on the Colorado Trail, I'm personally comfortable with a $1,000/month figure for actual on-the-trail expenses including a number of luxury items. My spending broke down as follows, approximately:
Groceries (in maildrops): $100
Groceries (on trail): $200
Restaurants: $375
Lodging: $200 (hostels)
Transportation/Misc: $125 (not including ground transport/flights to/from Colorado)
Obviously the biggest discretionary items here are the restaurant meals and staying at hostels.
The cheapest hiker willing to forego almost all luxury items might get by on half my budget by only consuming groceries, never staying in hostels, and never eating in restaurants. But there are very, very few hikers who are going to be willing to do that IMO.
I'm planning on $1,000/month for my future hikes.
The other really important point to keep in mind regarding grocery costs is that small town groceries are often very expensive. I'm talking $2-3 per Clif Bar, $2+ for a box of Mac & Cheese or mashed potatos, $7 for a package of Fig Newtons, etc etc. Easily 2x the cost of Wal-Mart or worse. Anyone with a really constrained food budget would probably save significant money stocking up periodically at a Wal-Mart and using USPS Priority Mail Regional Rate B boxes to send food to post offices rather than relying on small town stores. Or in a pinch, a safeway can be pretty cheap using a club card and shopping strategically for deals.
USPS Regional Rate B boxes are larger than medium flat rate and slightly smaller than large flat rate but cost less than $8 to ship down the trail.
"Transportation/Misc: $125 (not including ground transport/flights to/from Colorado)"Hitchhiking always worked for me. The only time I paid was for a train ride back to the trail after a side trip to N.Y. City.
"Transportation/Misc: $125 (not including ground transport/flights to/from Colorado)"Hitchhiking always worked for me. The only time I paid was for a train ride back to the trail after a side trip to N.Y. City.
I've found that it is usually easier to hitch from a trailhead to town than the other way around, plus I often like to start pretty early in the day. So my habit on that hike was to hitch into town but usually get a shuttle back to the trail. I was able to split the cost of the shuttle with other hikers on two of the three times I paid for shuttles on the trip, so that helped.
mdbamabrad
10-16-2014, 12:05
Those who don't understand will often disprove.
PS. If you were my kid then your stuff would be in boxes upon your return.
When I returned from the AT, my stuff was indeed all in boxes and put there by my parents.
Of course they were also going through a divorce, had sold the family home that was going to be vacated in two weeks after I finished the AT, and the elderly family dog was put to sleep.
Found this all out the day after I finished the AT.
Made for an interesting return to "The real world" :)
Cedar1974
10-16-2014, 18:37
Well, if your mom are worried about your well being, I'd suggest getting a SPOT GPS tracker. that way you can send her reports on your location, you can send them a preset message lie telling them where you are camping for the night, and the thing that will give them the most peace of mind is the SOS button that will notify Search and Rescue and tell them right where you are.
I''m about twice your age, and I plan on getting one of these to help my own family's peace os mind.
Traveler
10-17-2014, 06:19
Well, if your mom are worried about your well being, I'd suggest getting a SPOT GPS tracker. that way you can send her reports on your location, you can send them a preset message lie telling them where you are camping for the night, and the thing that will give them the most peace of mind is the SOS button that will notify Search and Rescue and tell them right where you are.
I''m about twice your age, and I plan on getting one of these to help my own family's peace os mind.
I am in the backcountry a lot myself and have a SPOT device. I have yet to need it for an emergency but its nice to have should something go wrong. My wife appreciates that bit of technology and is less worried when I am out by myself.
Well, if your mom are worried about your well being, I'd suggest getting a SPOT GPS tracker. that way you can send her reports on your location, you can send them a preset message lie telling them where you are camping for the night, and the thing that will give them the most peace of mind is the SOS button that will notify Search and Rescue and tell them right where you are.
I''m about twice your age, and I plan on getting one of these to help my own family's peace os mind.
Did is you read the original post? The concern were not about his physical safety while hiking. here is a quote from the original post.
"I am 19, and will be 20 when I (Hopefully) hit the trail. I live with my mom and step-dad, and recently told her about my potential plans to do the AT. She seemed very disapproving of the journey... Thinking it irresponsible to leave my job, and everything else behind. While I understand her concerns, I still would like for her to be more accepting to the decision. By no means will her approval determine whether or not I will be doing the journey, nor am I seeking her approval, I just think it would make it easier on both of us to be on semi-level terms. So far our conversations lead to frustration on my end, and mostly un-needed advice from her... i.e. "you're gonna have to pay your bills" "how do you think you can do this when you have only been backpacking for a week a couple of times" etc."
not sure a spot will help address these concerns.
Don't worry too much about what others think of this journey you're considering. It is a weird thing to devote a half year of your life to. Weird but wonderful, and not everybody "gets it." Some folks, perhaps with an overdeveloped work ethic, may think of it as running away from responsibility. I don't really know how to deal with that, maybe there is no way.
Quite possibly their attitude will improve after your journey begins and they see signs of your progress and your reports from the trail. I've seen that happen.
2015 Lady Thru-Hiker
10-17-2014, 07:25
When I returned from the AT, my stuff was indeed all in boxes and put there by my parents.
Of course they were also going through a divorce, had sold the family home that was going to be vacated in two weeks after I finished the AT, and the elderly family dog was put to sleep.
Found this all out the day after I finished the AT.
Made for an interesting return to "The real world" :)
Wow Mags, what a harsh adjustment back to reality. It must have really stole from the "afterglow", especially if it came as a complete shock. Sorry to hear about it. Family breakups are never easy even when it is the right thing to happen.
Cedar1974
10-17-2014, 09:28
Did is you read the original post? The concern were not about his physical safety while hiking. here is a quote from the original post.
"I am 19, and will be 20 when I (Hopefully) hit the trail. I live with my mom and step-dad, and recently told her about my potential plans to do the AT. She seemed very disapproving of the journey... Thinking it irresponsible to leave my job, and everything else behind. While I understand her concerns, I still would like for her to be more accepting to the decision. By no means will her approval determine whether or not I will be doing the journey, nor am I seeking her approval, I just think it would make it easier on both of us to be on semi-level terms. So far our conversations lead to frustration on my end, and mostly un-needed advice from her... i.e. "you're gonna have to pay your bills" "how do you think you can do this when you have only been backpacking for a week a couple of times" etc."
not sure a spot will help address these concerns.
Yes, I did read this, and you want to know something, my mother used the same excuses to try and talk me out of things when she was simply worried about my physical safety. Mother's are strange like that. They don't want you to know they are worried for your safety so they use these other methods to discourage you.
Traveler
10-17-2014, 09:54
Don't worry too much about what others think of this journey you're considering. It is a weird thing to devote a half year of your life to. Weird but wonderful, and not everybody "gets it." Some folks, perhaps with an overdeveloped work ethic, may think of it as running away from responsibility. I don't really know how to deal with that, maybe there is no way.
Quite possibly their attitude will improve after your journey begins and they see signs of your progress and your reports from the trail. I've seen that happen.
Probably the only real way to deal with the issue the OP had with parental push back is to have answers to their concerns. While leaving a job is not all a big deal at 19, there was an ambiguous mention of "everything else" the teen would leave behind. This ambiguous term can include a lot of things. A pet or pets that will need caring for, a car that may require others to move around for parking issues, bills that will need to be paid during the journey or debt that is being chased and the family phone is the contact number.
The being safe on the trial issue is perhaps the underlying issue of magnitude, which may get larger as the other objections are answered. A tough position for him to be in, but once any other issues are dealt with will likely make everyone feel better about the decision. I agree that once he starts, attitudes will likely change along the way if he has things squared away at home.
Wow Mags, what a harsh adjustment back to reality. It must have really stole from the "afterglow", especially if it came as a complete shock. Sorry to hear about it. Family breakups are never easy even when it is the right thing to happen.
It was 15 yrs ago so it is more amusing now than anything. We are a sarcastic bunch in my family. My youngest brother told me "Hey..you have a tent and like to camp. You'll be OK!" :D
OTOH, if the family unit had stayed intact, I doubt I would have been spurred to move and start a new life in Colorado. I'd probably have gone back to my job at the hospital I had worked at since I was 16. Good chance there is an alternate universe Paul Mags working in IT at a hospital in Rhode Island. And never shutting about the At hike he did when he was in his 20s. (Now I don't shut up about the things I've done in my 20s, 30s and now 40s But at least it is in Colorado. :) )