View Full Version : Did ya ever crap in your pants?
rocketsocks
09-07-2015, 17:25
I did...went to step up on a rock and shat myself. Couldn't believe it, what a #$%@&! mess. :(
gregpphoto
09-07-2015, 17:32
Hahahahah awesome. So wait you werent even on your way to go dump and it happened?? Pretty epic. I got food poisoning this past winter, I was living in a waist-high cave in J Tree and had to crawl out and aquadeuce on the rock and had it splash on my ankles. Too sick to do anything other than kinda wipe it off and crawl back into my bag, repeating the process every 20 minutes for about 8 hours.
rocketsocks
09-07-2015, 17:41
Hahahahah awesome. So wait you werent even on your way to go dump and it happened?? Pretty epic. I got food poisoning this past winter, I was living in a waist-high cave in J Tree and had to crawl out and aquadeuce on the rock and had it splash on my ankles. Too sick to do anything other than kinda wipe it off and crawl back into my bag, repeating the process every 20 minutes for about 8 hours.
That sounds awful, and no, not on the way to shyter...as the saying goes, shyte happens, well it sure did that day.
JustaTouron
09-07-2015, 17:41
Not since I was 3.
Sent from my SM-T110 using Tapatalk
rocketsocks
09-07-2015, 17:43
Not since I was 3.
Sent from my SM-T110 using Tapatalk
...your lucky, prolly have a tight sphincter too.
Lone Wolf
09-07-2015, 17:45
only when i drink too much likker
rocketsocks
09-07-2015, 17:50
only when i drink too much likker
had a date with a bottle of 151 once...never again after that, it was really bad, really bad! woke to what felt like someone grabbing a handful of ass hair...really bad, hurt like hell.
Studlintsean
09-07-2015, 18:03
My brother did in the Smoky Mountains on his thru hike this year. Luckily he held onto his rain pants...
Odd Man Out
09-07-2015, 18:35
Sometimes what you think is going to fill your cat hole turns out to be just gas. I have had that go the other way, unfortunately.
BirdBrain
09-07-2015, 18:45
Many years ago before it was common, I fell victim to giardia lamblia. It took my doctor a while to figure out what it was. Once he figured it out, I was cured in a day. During the ailment, I had more "issues" than anyone would like me to list. There is not a snow ball's chance in hell that I will ever drink any water that is not filtered ever again unless it is a matter of life and death. Suffering from that once was quite enough, thank you.
Sometimes what you think is going to fill your cat hole turns out to be just gas. I have had that go the other way, unfortunately.
One of Jack's favorite quotations "Never trust a fart!"
Vegan Packer
09-07-2015, 19:35
So much for my thoughts of trimming weight by leaving that extra set of pants behind. You never know! :eek:
I did...went to step up on a rock and shat myself. Couldn't believe it, what a #$%@&! mess. :(
Wonderful post, thanks.
imscotty
09-07-2015, 20:15
Yes, been there, done that.
Once when i was in my early thirties.Was on my way home from playing roller hockey and thought i could hold it.Lost ,twice.What a mess!
Feral Bill
09-07-2015, 21:28
Thanks you for sharing that delightful anecdote.
seldom more than twice a day
shelterbuilder
09-07-2015, 22:04
...not that I would ever admit in a public forum.... But thanks for asking!
2NewKnees
09-07-2015, 22:11
Unfortunately yes. On the way home from a date with my future wife! Thought I could make it to the nearest gas station or home. Didn't! We live in a very rural area. Can't believe she still married me, lol.
Yes I have. That's enough about that.
MuddyWaters
09-07-2015, 22:40
Nope. Come close though.
I swear i used to be able to hold it a long time from onset.
After started long distance hiking , it seemed that when need to go, that means now. No delay.
gregpphoto
09-07-2015, 23:18
Unfortunately yes. On the way home from a date with my future wife! Thought I could make it to the nearest gas station or home. Didn't! We live in a very rural area. Can't believe she still married me, lol.
If you live in a rural area, youre never more than 5 seconds from a potential ****ting spot.
Umm..India. Nuf said..what happens in India stays in India.
JohnHuth
09-08-2015, 09:24
Great thread - who'd thunk. "Never trust a fart" - now this is one I'm going to remember. Thanks!
SteelCut
09-08-2015, 10:55
I was climbing Venusian Blind, a 1500' rock route on Temple Crag in the CA Sierras, and was suffering from something I ate the night before. I was pretty much able to hold it most of the climb but upon reaching easier climbing near the top I became really ill again ... yada yada yada ... it takes quite a while to setup a climbing anchor and to get out of a climbing harness and ... yada yada yada ... it wasn't a pretty situation nor a fun hike out.
gregpphoto
09-08-2015, 11:04
I was climbing Venusian Blind, a 1500' rock route on Temple Crag in the CA Sierras, and was suffering from something I ate the night before. I was pretty much able to hold it most of the climb but upon reaching easier climbing near the top I became really ill again ... yada yada yada ... it takes quite a while to setup a climbing anchor and to get out of a climbing harness and ... yada yada yada ... it wasn't a pretty situation nor a fun hike out.
Some of the Misty Mountain harnsesses have detachable leg loops, so the speak (the non-rated bungee like material often found connecting the leg loop to the back of the harness) for exactly this reason!
SteelCut
09-08-2015, 11:07
Some of the Misty Mountain harnsesses have detachable leg loops, so the speak (the non-rated bungee like material often found connecting the leg loop to the back of the harness) for exactly this reason!
Yes, I had an BD alpine harness that I would usually wear on longer climbs for situations like this but on that trip we were also doing harder rock routes in the area and hence only had my regular rock harness with me.
I actually wondered about the sometimes IMMEDIATE call of nature and the whole cathole digging project. Is it LNT enough to get far enough away from the trail (150 feet), at a very awkward run-type gait and just go, THEN dig the cathole right next to it and dump it and the supporting dirt in for burial?
JustaTouron
09-08-2015, 12:15
I actually wondered about the sometimes IMMEDIATE call of nature and the whole cathole digging project. Is it LNT enough to get far enough away from the trail (150 feet), at a very awkward run-type gait and just go, THEN dig the cathole right next to it and dump it and the supporting dirt in for burial?
Doesn't matter if you dig hole first or crap first just as long as you bury it. Use a stick to push the crap into the hole rather than your trowel, boot, hiking stick etc. O
squeezebox
09-08-2015, 12:23
I'll tell you my story as soon as I get back from the toilet.
OOPS!!
Back later!
JohnHuth
09-08-2015, 12:28
I actually wondered about the sometimes IMMEDIATE call of nature and the whole cathole digging project. Is it LNT enough to get far enough away from the trail (150 feet), at a very awkward run-type gait and just go, THEN dig the cathole right next to it and dump it and the supporting dirt in for burial?
It's a long stretch better than soiling your britches, so yes.
I am, therefor I have shyte myself.
"Never trust a fart" is one of the rules of life for men over 50. The only other one I remember is "Never waste an erection, even if you're alone." I hope the mods are over 50!
imscotty
09-08-2015, 16:21
Wow, you guys all sound like a lot of fun at a party. I'm taking names. You will all be invited to my next Chilli with Beans Cook Off. It will be a gas.
August W.
09-09-2015, 08:05
There are only two types of people in the world.... those who have soiled there britches, and those who haven't yet. I am neither, and you people are disgusting. Heh!
My father-in-law tells a pretty funny story of hiking "near where Deliverance was filmed" and having to quickly waddle off the trail to avoid crapping his pants. Says the trail was busy that day so he went a long way off the trail for guaranteed privacy, and while in mid-poop he starts hearing female voices approaching. Next thing he hears is a girl's voice yelling out, "Eww gross, y'all look at that old man, HE'S TAKING A *****!!". He had hiked so far off trail that he ended up taking care of business just beside another trail. Poor bast*rd.
I don't feel like starting a new thread about being discovered while taking a dump, but has anyone else had this happen?
Tipi Walter
09-09-2015, 08:31
I actually wondered about the sometimes IMMEDIATE call of nature and the whole cathole digging project. Is it LNT enough to get far enough away from the trail (150 feet), at a very awkward run-type gait and just go, THEN dig the cathole right next to it and dump it and the supporting dirt in for burial?
I've done this several times as the hole cannot be dug in time but is dug immediately after next to the Turtlehead and pushed in with a stick etc.
The most epic Turds are those birthed inside a tent during hellish weather, nonstop butt cold rainstorms and high wind low-temp blizzards. Lay something down (plastic bag, paper towels etc), squat, catch and release. Wrap it up, store inside old ziploc, bury later.
Another good technique when it's 0F outside is to leave tent and squat right next to the tent and Release. By morning it will be frozen solid and can be hand-carried to a bury pit or flung like an olympic discus far off the mountain into rhododendron (if the ground's frozen anyway and can't be dug). Of lift big random rock and place underneath.
I've written long reports on Turtleheads and the difficult struggles with these mountain beasts. It's all in my Trail Journals---
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaaaahhaha hahahahhhhaaaa!!!!!! or... ROTFL!!!!
MkBibble
09-10-2015, 15:05
A sudden and undeniable urge hit me in a cold DRIVING rain just south of Tesnatee Gap. I could tell this was going to be messy, and toilet paper with heavy rain is not a good combination, so I decided to try for Whitely Gap shelter. Oddly enough, when I got to the blue blazed trail, the urge had subsided and the weather was getting better. Since I was trying to make Unicoi Gap by sunset, and the shelter is so far off of the trail, I pushed on. Big mistake!
Within a few minute, the urge was back - stronger than ever, and the rain was really coming down. I was miserable! Sweating, trying to walk without having an accident. I thought about turning back, but didn't think I would make it to the shelter anyway. I just kept going and hoped for the best.
Then, as I came down the slope to the road at Hogpen Gap I saw them. THREE BRAND NEW porta-potties. I swear I heard angels singing. I dropped my pack behind them and made it inside without a second to spare! Not only was it perfect timing, but this was easily the cleanest potty I have ever abused. There was even a brand new unopened bottle of baby powder... and BANANAS on the shelves!
I found out later that the potties were there for a bicycle race that was cancelled due to the weather. No, I didn't eat a banana, but only because I just had no appetite.
JustaTouron
09-10-2015, 15:13
This is the crappiest thread I have ever read on white blaze. :)
In the Negev Desert, heading into Sharm el Sheik on foot, from a Bedouin camp that we were staying in.
The worst part was that some friends saw us right afterwards and came over to talk to us!
Not sure if it was the smell or the multitude of flies buzzing around me but they took off pretty quickly!
Footnote: the girl I was with married me anyway and that was some thirty five years ago and yes, we are still happily married.Now that's love!
MkBibble
09-10-2015, 15:17
She figured that she was safe. What are the odds that you'll crap yourself in public again?
Gambit McCrae
09-10-2015, 15:28
I have crapped myself multiple times:
Springer mountain Tenting I was scurrying out of my tent to go dump and started, cramping, then CRAPPING!!!!! Damnit Gambit
secondly, Was training for my Mass hike which I just got Diarrhea on the whole time btw, was walking back roads to train at home, and simply had to go, crap my pants and walked the 2 mores rest of the way home. very very painful walking with crapped pants btw. EXTREMELY painful with burning and ...pooness.
That's my story and im stickin to it
If mud bug counts I could write a book :cool:
Traveler
09-10-2015, 15:32
...spraying Fabreeze.... Please, continue
dzierzak
09-11-2015, 11:13
It Depends...:rolleyes:
Don't tell anybody, but...
By the time I hit Caratunk I had a hankering for ice-cream. The Inn was selling $6 pints of Ben and Jerry's, so I got Everything But The... I ate the entire thing for breakfast. Well, I don't really eat dairy that often. On the canoe ride across the Kennebec I was feeling a little strange. By the time we landed on the other shore, I was sure that I was doomed. My hiking buddy and I had both challenged ourselves to not **** in the wood on the entire AT. We'd both made it that far, so I wasn't about to let that dream die just because of a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Crossing that beaver dam that leads to the gorgeous shelter on the pond, I doubled over in agony. At that point I left my partner behind and started to waddle as fast as I could. Each white blaze seemed a million miles apart. I saw a blue blaze and prayed it led to the privvy instead of the lean-to. It did, but as I ripped the brick from the door and undid the hinge, my bowels also undid themselves. Assessing the damage as I unleashed a maelstrom of milk, I had only just soiled myself a little bit.
My dream of not ****ting in the woods was still alive, if only because of a pair of now defiled underwear.
Damn Yankee
09-15-2015, 00:30
three times in my life and I remember all three
gregpphoto
09-15-2015, 00:39
I have not met him yet but some fellow crusty punk kids told me of a guy at Slab City who is mostly nude and who dumps standing up, as he walks around. Since he's mostly naked I guess that doesnt count as crapping your pants per se..