View Full Version : Re-entry
Before I summited, I thought about this and it sounded like a planetary drop, like astronauts who had been orbiting the earth for a while and had to go through Re-entry into earth's atmosphere. It seemed like an exaggeration. But now I'm home and I'm struggling a little. When I first went to my shop a couple of weeks ago, I stayed for 5 minutes and left. The "busy" in there overwhelmed me a little- and I used to thrive on chaotic energy. I went to Vietnam for our annual site visit just a week after I finished the hike, now I'm back again and have jet lag on top of the being in the "real world" blues. The artificial lights, the constant buzzing that I am now aware of, the concrete and the traffic. All yuck. I visited a couple that I hiked with for a while and that was so great. Seeing them and talking about our experiences was so comforting. People in my life are interested in the hike only on a very superficial level ( did you see any bears? How did you get food? Did you have to poop outside?) and I long to talk about it, really discuss it and what it all means, in depth. I was at the Hong Kong airport a couple of days ago and these amazing mountains were visible. I wanted to bolt. I feel guilty because my family gave me this time and now I really have to be present and participate in our lives. That's fair and right. But really, I want to go backpacking.:( there should be a support group for thru hikers. " hi - I'm Bonnie and I am powerless over path that leads into the woods....." So what's the shelf time of this malaise, anyone know?
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Lone Wolf
10-28-2015, 07:42
i went through the exact same stuff after my first hike. even got tossed in jail. the next day i decided to hit the trail again. 6 months later i was back in georgia. pretty much hit the trail 14 years in a row
Wolf- I met you in Georgia on the 1st or second day of my hike. You were sitting with Pirate and another guy. You offered me a beer, which I didn't take because at that time, I didn't like beer. I love it now! You guys wanted to have your picture taken with my friend Katwalk because she was so incredibly colorful.
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Starchild
10-28-2015, 08:06
The advice I heard was take a month to readjust to off trail life of you can spare it. In other words don't revisit work, take a vacation, visit people, etc. have time for the effect of the journey to sink in and for you to acclimate back to off trail life.
Or what I did, just don't leave the trail, not talking literally here, but the trail is so much more then the white blazes, they are just the guiding direction. I patterned my life after the trail, and when I reached K and touched the sign, what came to me is 'where to now' and my journey is not over, then, almost magically, the clouds blew away which revealed Pomola with the pathway to it in the sky we call the Knife Edge, my journey continues to the very day, still very much on the spirit of the AT, which also happens to cal me back to the physical AT time adn time again.
Slo-go'en
10-28-2015, 11:32
Yep, no doubt about it. A thru hike will ruin your life :)
I think it's the addiction to endorphin's (and trail life) and like any addiction once you stop you go through a period of withdraw. It will take a little while before your back to your old routines and life style, but the call of the wild will now always be there. Just try not to eat too much.
BTW, I enjoyed reading your trail journal.
The Solemates
10-28-2015, 12:22
So what's the shelf time of this malaise, anyone know?
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not sure. so far I can tell ya its longer than 12 years....
Spirit Walker
10-28-2015, 13:08
It isn't easy. Stay active. Hike if you can, or run, or go on bike rides. Find new goals to pursue. Stay in touch with the trail community, both online and in person. They are the only ones who will truly understand. Go to the Ruck in January, the Gathering in October. Do some trail work. (FT can always use maintainers.)
It can't be helped. Resistance is futile.
dudeijuststarted
10-28-2015, 13:42
You're not alone. Life can be devastating after a thru hike, particularly if discontent is what sent you hiking in the first place. It was a matter of weeks after I finished until I was back in a bed at Mountain Harbor and hiking in that area. I did a couple days out of Springer with the NOBOs, stayed with Crazy Larry for a few days, just couldn't kick the blues. A few months later I was back in Hot Springs. I was so in need of the Appalachian Trail that I finally just packed my stuff into my car and drove west to get away from it. Now I'm in California with a job. The good news is I have a nice rental property, very hearty food to eat, a comfy bed, my guitars, and the other activities I enjoyed.
Readjustment takes a while, for me it took a whole year. I'm learning far more about myself after the trail than I did on the trail. The unspoken part of the journey. Embrace it.
From my perspective, it's the depth of the peace found on an AT thru-hike that escapes soon after returning back home post-hike.
Once a person experiences peace in depth they may find it's a tough animal to capture again while working a job, doing a commute and all the activities people think are necessary in life.
I've only been able to catch glmpses of it back in civilization while working a job and following a career path. That is why I've travelled and adventured so regularly since my AT thru-hike. Finding peace in depth is so much easier for me to find while adventuring and doing a long-distance hike.
Once I had decided regularly adventuring should become a significant part of my life, I did quite a bit of long-term planning and basic choosing in order to make that happen.
That choice, for me, has been one of the most rewarding decisions I've made in my short life.
Since the start of my AT thru-hike I've worked at a job 64% of the available time I could have worked at a job. The rest of the time I was either adventuring, getting ready to adventure, looking for the next job or keeping my career skills current. That was about the right proportion for me with the way my personality, desires and subjective needs have been matched. Plus, most of the jobs I've had have been the type where there is a specific problem that needs to be solved -- once the problem is solved (usually in less than three years) I know it's time for me to move on (I'm not much of a maintenance-type person nor an 8-5er but rather someone who enjoys taking on new, greenfield challenges in my career).
So, what I would suggest is to think of the situation as a motivator to do long-term planning.
Datto
Don't go back to being normal. Really, why would you want to?
what freaks me out after a long hike is how fast vehicles travel - only takes a week or so before it becomes normal again
Before I summited, I thought about this and it sounded like a planetary drop, like astronauts who had been orbiting the earth for a while and had to go through Re-entry into earth's atmosphere. It seemed like an exaggeration. But now I'm home and I'm struggling a little. When I first went to my shop a couple of weeks ago, I stayed for 5 minutes and left. The "busy" in there overwhelmed me a little- and I used to thrive on chaotic energy. I went to Vietnam for our annual site visit just a week after I finished the hike, now I'm back again and have jet lag on top of the being in the "real world" blues. The artificial lights, the constant buzzing that I am now aware of, the concrete and the traffic. All yuck. I visited a couple that I hiked with for a while and that was so great. Seeing them and talking about our experiences was so comforting. People in my life are interested in the hike only on a very superficial level ( did you see any bears? How did you get food? Did you have to poop outside?) and I long to talk about it, really discuss it and what it all means, in depth. I was at the Hong Kong airport a couple of days ago and these amazing mountains were visible. I wanted to bolt. I feel guilty because my family gave me this time and now I really have to be present and participate in our lives. That's fair and right. But really, I want to go backpacking.:( there should be a support group for thru hikers. " hi - I'm Bonnie and I am powerless over path that leads into the woods....." So what's the shelf time of this malaise, anyone know?
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You nailed the description correctly on reentry. It is up to you what you want to renter and assimilate into though.
Welcome to The Tribe of Sober Living. Welcome to greater awareness.
Most of us come from modern cultural/system conditions that promotes: inefficiency - in many aspects, waste, consumerism, and materialism TO THE EXTREME AND a disconnection to regular alignment with Nature AND too some extent each other. All this occurs when we knowingly plug ourselves into this type of system willingly or by default as pawns. We cede our personal power to lead more self directed SOBER connected LIVES by ALLOWING ourselves to be SLAVES, to be deeply influenced by the many "others" who RARELY have our individual best interests at heart. Think about that.
This is not just about you and your family either. These power structures are immensely influencing and forcing the public to refocus how culture, society, "civilization", or if you want, "real life" or "real world" are perceived. The "real world" you profess to be returning to is not so much YOUR WORLD but a world designed largely by those entrenched power structures. Who really makes the biggest decisions about your family and you? How heavily influenced are those decisions by these "others? How much does the entrenched socio economic system actually control you and your families lives? HOW LONG WILL YOU CONTINUE TO STAND FOR IT? ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN? WILL YOU CNTINUE TO LIVE SOBERLY DETERMINING YOUR FOCUS BY NO LONGER DIMWITTEDLY ACCEDING TO BE A PAWN?
You have been given a GREAT gift! You have SOBERED UP. You experienced a different reality NOT based on mass consumption, materialism, and disconnection from Nature. By largely being removed from these other influences YOU HAVE SOBERED UP. In this sober state you had the clarity to see what was harmful and more independently, with much less influence from these "others", to determine a more aware directed HEALTHIER path. YOU have been allowed to refocus by being removed from the "system."
You rightly observe "civilization" or society or the system you were previously a pawn in is not always as healthy as we have been programmed to believe. The malaise is, you knowing how unhealthy and sick "civilization" is, knowing some of what makes it unhealthy, and assuming you have no control of where, or even IF, you will renter into it. You do NOT need to reenter exactly into the same place, IF indeed you allow yourself to reenter at all. You can continue making positive changes in your LIFE, as well as promote changes in your families' lives. The malaise is, mistakenly attempting to totally realign/reassimilate a NEW YOU, a person with CHANGED VALUES/NEW VALUES, a person with a NEW greater awareness, a person that has "SOBERED UP"into that old you with those old values allowing yourself to once again be a pawn in a destructive system/lifestyle which is not possible as you can NOT serve two masters.
What I would hope and even expect LD hikers/thru-hikers take away from their experiences is that they have the ability to determine their paths further in LIFE both on and off trail. YOU are no longer an unknowing powerless pawn.
Use your gained greater awareness wisely. You do NOT need to forget the new healthier paradigm. Make changes in your NEW LIFE that continue to promote wellness for all. Do NOT return doing that which you know is unhealthy for yourself and the world?
rocketsocks
11-02-2015, 02:11
You nailed the description correctly on reentry. It is up to you what you want to renter and assimilate into though.
Welcome to The Tribe of Sober Living. Welcome to greater awareness.
Most of us come from modern cultural/system conditions that promotes: inefficiency - in many aspects, waste, consumerism, and materialism TO THE EXTREME AND a disconnection to regular alignment with Nature AND too some extent each other. All this occurs when we knowingly plug ourselves into this type of system willingly or by default as pawns. We cede our personal power to lead more self directed SOBER connected LIVES by ALLOWING ourselves to be SLAVES, to be deeply influenced by the many "others" who RARELY have our individual best interests at heart. Think about that.
This is not just about you and your family either. These power structures are immensely influencing and forcing the public to refocus how culture, society, "civilization", or if you want, "real life" or "real world" are perceived. The "real world" you profess to be returning to is not so much YOUR WORLD but a world designed largely by those entrenched power structures. Who really makes the biggest decisions about your family and you? How heavily influenced are those decisions by these "others? How much does the entrenched socio economic system actually control you and your families lives? HOW LONG WILL YOU CONTINUE TO STAND FOR IT? ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN? WILL YOU CNTINUE TO LIVE SOBERLY DETERMINING YOUR FOCUS BY NO LONGER DIMWITTEDLY ACCEDING TO BE A PAWN?
You have been given a GREAT gift! You have SOBERED UP. You experienced a different reality NOT based on mass consumption, materialism, and disconnection from Nature. By largely being removed from these other influences YOU HAVE SOBERED UP. In this sober state you had the clarity to see what was harmful and more independently, with much less influence from these "others", to determine a more aware directed HEALTHIER path. YOU have been allowed to refocus by being removed from the "system."
You rightly observe "civilization" or society or the system you were previously a pawn in is not always as healthy as we have been programmed to believe. The malaise is, you knowing how unhealthy and sick "civilization" is, knowing some of what makes it unhealthy, and assuming you have no control of where, or even IF, you will renter into it. You do NOT need to reenter exactly into the same place, IF indeed you allow yourself to reenter at all. You can continue making positive changes in your LIFE, as well as promote changes in your families' lives. The malaise is, mistakenly attempting to totally realign/reassimilate a NEW YOU, a person with CHANGED VALUES/NEW VALUES, a person with a NEW greater awareness, a person that has "SOBERED UP"into that old you with those old values allowing yourself to once again be a pawn in a destructive system/lifestyle which is not possible as you can NOT serve two masters.
What I would hope and even expect LD hikers/thru-hikers take away from their experiences is that they have the ability to determine their paths further in LIFE both on and off trail. YOU are no longer an unknowing powerless pawn.
Use your gained greater awareness wisely. You do NOT need to forget the new healthier paradigm. Make changes in your NEW LIFE that continue to promote wellness for all. Do NOT return doing that which you know is unhealthy for yourself and the world?
Nice pep talk, I think Thoreau called it "Living Deliberatly"
Traveler
11-02-2015, 09:45
Just a thought....
"Re-Entry" is a unique phenomenon that provides the opportunity to literally change the course of ones live. Depending on what one does in life, re-entry from long periods of time away from society, there may be a couple of these opportunities, sadly some people never get one. Though it may seem a difficult passage, the opportunity it presents is second to none and is a true tabula rasa (clean or blank slate) moment in time. One can completely change their life direction, how they live, work, and behave. They can readjust what is important to them, what pursuits they embrace and what nuisances they discard. The opportunity may be confusing at times, but it can be one of those few events ones life can turn on that eclipses all others.
You nailed the description correctly on reentry. It is up to you what you want to renter and assimilate into though.
Welcome to The Tribe of Sober Living. Welcome to greater awareness.
Most of us come from modern cultural/system conditions that promotes: inefficiency - in many aspects, waste, consumerism, and materialism TO THE EXTREME AND a disconnection to regular alignment with Nature AND too some extent each other. All this occurs when we knowingly plug ourselves into this type of system willingly or by default as pawns. We cede our personal power to lead more self directed SOBER connected LIVES by ALLOWING ourselves to be SLAVES, to be deeply influenced by the many "others" who RARELY have our individual best interests at heart. Think about that.
This is not just about you and your family either. These power structures are immensely influencing and forcing the public to refocus how culture, society, "civilization", or if you want, "real life" or "real world" are perceived. The "real world" you profess to be returning to is not so much YOUR WORLD but a world designed largely by those entrenched power structures. Who really makes the biggest decisions about your family and you? How heavily influenced are those decisions by these "others? How much does the entrenched socio economic system actually control you and your families lives? HOW LONG WILL YOU CONTINUE TO STAND FOR IT? ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN? WILL YOU CNTINUE TO LIVE SOBERLY DETERMINING YOUR FOCUS BY NO LONGER DIMWITTEDLY ACCEDING TO BE A PAWN?
You have been given a GREAT gift! You have SOBERED UP. You experienced a different reality NOT based on mass consumption, materialism, and disconnection from Nature. By largely being removed from these other influences YOU HAVE SOBERED UP. In this sober state you had the clarity to see what was harmful and more independently, with much less influence from these "others", to determine a more aware directed HEALTHIER path. YOU have been allowed to refocus by being removed from the "system."
You rightly observe "civilization" or society or the system you were previously a pawn in is not always as healthy as we have been programmed to believe. The malaise is, you knowing how unhealthy and sick "civilization" is, knowing some of what makes it unhealthy, and assuming you have no control of where, or even IF, you will renter into it. You do NOT need to reenter exactly into the same place, IF indeed you allow yourself to reenter at all. You can continue making positive changes in your LIFE, as well as promote changes in your families' lives. The malaise is, mistakenly attempting to totally realign/reassimilate a NEW YOU, a person with CHANGED VALUES/NEW VALUES, a person with a NEW greater awareness, a person that has "SOBERED UP"into that old you with those old values allowing yourself to once again be a pawn in a destructive system/lifestyle which is not possible as you can NOT serve two masters.
What I would hope and even expect LD hikers/thru-hikers take away from their experiences is that they have the ability to determine their paths further in LIFE both on and off trail. YOU are no longer an unknowing powerless pawn.
Use your gained greater awareness wisely. You do NOT need to forget the new healthier paradigm. Make changes in your NEW LIFE that continue to promote wellness for all. Do NOT return doing that which you know is unhealthy for yourself and the world?
This is my thought progression, precisely. Exactly. The word "slave" is very compelling.
English Stu
11-02-2015, 11:46
A visualisation plan of where you see yourself next will help you move on i.e. think forward not back. I think writing is a help even if you do nothing with it. In a few years time you will appreciate it..
Slo-go'en
11-02-2015, 11:50
Of course, we must be thankful for all the "slaves" out there who produce the things which makes escaping into the wilderness possible. They make the gear, produce the food and distribute it for our consumption while we do nothing but walk. Not that there is anything wrong with that arrangement :)
If you need a starting point to begin long-term planning, think of what you would want people would say of you at your funeral if you died 36 months from now. Think of how you would like your life to be at the end of the next 36 months. Make a plan to do that and be that, then figure out how to execute that plan and get it done. You don't have to be hasty or whimsical about it (30 calendar days or less is plenty of time) but getting going with the plan and the action is very important. Time escapes so rapidly and falling back into the daily grind of inertia can so easily happen.
Datto
This is my thought progression, precisely. Exactly. The word "slave" is very compelling.
So, you know the dilemma of Michael Vincent Corleone - "Just when I though I was out... they (attempt to) pull me back in."
Casey & Gina
11-03-2015, 18:08
I haven't done a long distance hike yet. But I did take a long break from being a part of society, living outside without using money and being able to carry everything I owned for many months. It was perhaps even more liberating than an average hike, because I became confident that I could live indefinitely without any dependency on working, renting, buying, etc. That was 6 years or so ago. I re-entered society after getting married, but it has never been the same. I have money and possessions but don't flinch at the idea of giving it all up again, which is exactly what I am now in the process of doing in preparation for a thru hike. A little different - I will be better prepared this time and keep some money in the bank and some things in storage to make the next re-entry easier. That said, I am sure I will not really have any strong desire to come back! After the hike, I plan to move somewhere totally new (don't know where yet, will decide that on the trail) and do something different for income than the typical 9-5 office grind that I've always done. I expect to live more simply and with less income, but hope to be happier. Because trying to live the "normal" life after realizing that it's silly and unnecessary is agonizingly boring. Traditional full-time jobs are entrapping. I think an ideal life for me would involve working for half the year then taking the other half off and going on some adventure. :)
One of the concepts difficult for most people to understand is the goal in life is not to die with perfect teeth and a clean toilet bowl. The goal is to be happy. In order to be happy, a person has to know what it is that makes them happy. I don't know why it is that human beings have such a difficult time grasping this as a concept but it has been my observation that knowing what makes an individual person truly happy is a big hurdle for that person to overcome.
Much of the reason for this may be that Society imposes on individuals the rules and conditions that make Society as a whole better, but not necessarily what makes an individual happy. That makes for outside pressure on an individual to conform, to following "The Rules".
Along with that struggle is the idea that most people are not very good at risk assessment. As a result most individuals will simply fold and conform and then modify their view of happiness to match whatever Society is demanding, whether or not that actually makes them happy or in some cases, unhappy. People want assurances before sticking their neck out. Without the assurances that change will be significantly better, most will simply do nothing and keep the current course regardless of whether the direction makes them happy or happier.
That negates the entire gift of life. Squanders the gift away. Thus the growing number of lives with quiet desperation. Doing nothing is always one of the choices and is a deliberate act.
One other thing has amazed me is the number of people who will rationalize why they have to stay in their current predicament and remain either unhappy or just plain blah for lengthy periods of time. Much effort will be made to prove to themselves that stirring the toilet bowl for years in a row will lead to making the toilet bowl even cleaner.
Meanwhile, time slips past, opportunities are lost, true happiness continues to escape. The millisecond before the bus hits you, your thoughts are, "I had all these things I wanted to do!"
That is why it's so important to get going. To get a move on. Stop letting the entire landscape pass by. To get a happiness plan in place and get going with it. Don't wait until the plan is perfect and your teeth are perfectly straight. Make course corrections along the way. Not everything will be correct and true -- some plans will be delayed, some will be moved ahead in time, other plans will be abandoned.
The key thing is to get going -- take the first step.
Datto
Traveler
11-04-2015, 08:50
.... but if having good teeth and a clean bathroom is important to you, carry on.
.... but if having good teeth and a clean bathroom is important to you, carry on.
Obviously that is important to the Cleveland Browns and the Tennessee Titans.
How's that working for them?
Datto
Re-entry ... obviously the ease of re-entry depends on what you are re-entering. If life was satisfactory prior to the trail, then it most likely will be after the trail. If things were not satisfactory, the trail won't magically make everything better upon return. In fact, it will make things worse since the freedom of the trail will be a sharper contrast to a re-entered situation that sucks. So really the situation is going to be different for everyone. The longest time that I've been on a trail so far continuously is seven weeks. Prior to that I had multi-week trips ranging from two weeks to four weeks. I have personally found that four weeks is the cut-off from a "vacation" to a "lifestyle" and found it harder to re-enter after being on trail for seven weeks than for four. It didn't help that I was ending the hike early and re-entering a situation that sucked vs. being in a better place after prior trips.
For most people the trail cannot be a permanent lifestyle. It is best to not use it as an escape from problems off-trail because those problems won't magically disappear upon returning. It is best to leave for the trail with things basically in order so that re-entry can be less painful. IMHO.
Just Bill
11-04-2015, 10:42
After the initial shock of return... for some no biggie, it was just something to check off a list.
For the rest of us, all you can do is the same thing you learned on the trail. One foot in front of the other.
It is a great opportunity to reshape your life, re-evaluate your choices, and pursue what matters to you.
Pick a distant goal to keep you focused, but day to day find the small things you can walk towards to keep you going.
We all have responsibilities, none more important (or harder) than taking responsibility for the choices we make.
I did (and still do) find short trips or day hikes disappointing at times; like only drinking a sip of water when you're dying of thirst.
For me that has been the hardest thing overall, that the short breaks and time out became tainted somehow.
Making gear was a bit of help as it gave me another focus or goal for the trips.
Hiking with my son has cured most of that, his simple wonder and joy at being there and being present in the moment is my biggest inspiration.
He has re-opened my eyes to how deeply I can enjoy the time I do have, and helped me keep my head down on the bad stretches to work towards creating the kind of time and life I want to have.
The trail is always waiting. If you're lucky, you'll come to realize it's looking for you too no matter what is happening in your life or where you are.
Much like my son, it doesn't care about work, money, 'sponsibility or anything we silly adults worry about; it just wants to spend time with us.
And it's always happy to see us.
32528
Obviously that is important to the Cleveland Browns and the Tennessee Titans.
How's that working for them?
I once had a person at a company newly report to me who I was told ahead of time was trouble and was a person who should leave the company voluntarily or involuntarily. His annual review rating was a 2 out of 5 (kiss of death at a large company by the way). There were so many derogatory comments about him from his previous manager in his written annual performance review and in the company manager's portal and from telephone conversations with his previous manager -- I had thought there had to be a disconnect with reality going on.
This guy's previous manager was a perfect-teeth-and-clean-toilet-bowl type of person. No idea about what was possible -- his view of the world was completely stilted and confined with no imagination whatsoever (relatively common in Corporate America). Much like the confines Society puts on individuals to conform to some square peg set of pre-defined, one-size-fits-all set of rules. In the employee's case I found his skills were invaluable to the company. But his previous manager had no idea other companies up and down the street (Fortune 1000 companies) would be lining up at the front door of the building to scoop him up if they knew he was going to be on the market.
What I found about this particular employee was that he was always right. I mean always. He was highly skilled, inventive, knew how to get things done if he was motivated to get things done. All the guy needed was a reason to do well and so far to the point where I took over as his manager, he really hadn't been given much of a reason to succeed at a high level. So many obstacles had been put in his way I knew he was going to hit the exits soon (he even told me so). What a waste for him (since he had some years invested in the company) and what a waste for the company (since replacing this guy would be pretty much impossible given the talent pool available and the compensation offered -- I was in the midst of interviewing and bringing new staff on board so I knew the situation in the marketplace).
That employee's next annual review was a 5 out of 5 and I was able to get him a 40% annual compensation increase and some stock options to boot. The guy did it himself -- the employee. All I did was remove the mountain of obstacles he was facing, put a good plan in place for the upcoming year (a pretty exciting plan if I do say so myself), set a few guidelines here and there and make suggestions on occasion. For his success, he did the rest which was the bulk of the success in his role. All he needed was a good reason to show up to work and the motivation to do well in an environment focused on succeeding and blatent recognition for success.
I hired a new additional team member (new position) at this particular company also and during the interview process the interviewee received some pretty low scores which meant the interviewee was not going to be hireable from a Human Resouces standpoint -- unless I went to bat for the canddate (the interviewers were also perfect teeth and clean toilet bowl kinds of people). It would have been a terrible injustice to the candidate since that guy was precisely the type of person I was pursuing and the new position would be a great opportunity for him. Plus, I knew he was talented (I quized the snot out of him), he had a quiet personalty (the company already had too many primadonnas), he was agressively pursuing career advancement options, he was organized and was ready to leave his existing employer. I couldn't understand what the other interviewers were looking for -- it was crazy.
I was able to obtain all the necessary Corporate America approvals to bring that particular new guy on board and he ended up being a whiz. Made my life so easy. I was also able to get him a 40% increase over his starting compensation package at his next annual performance review. He was promoted quickly to the next level on the struggle chart also. The guy was responsible for his own success -- all I did was lay the groundwork, get him to buy into the plan, get his on-boarding to go well and make a few suggestions here and there over the course of the next year. The employee did the rest, which was the bulk of the effort that had led to so much success.
So, you can't just think of working inside the confines of non-imaginative plans and solutions put forth by Society nor Perfect Teeth People - PTP (tm) when planning for changes to bring about more happiness. There is a much much wider world out there than what Society thinks is possible and so many more ways to find happiness than the square peg put forth by Society.
You have to think BIG and know what it is you want, create the plan and timetable on how that is going to come about and then get going with action. Regular daily action toward making it happen (Incrementalism). You can't just wait forever for something to fall on your head from the sky in order to change the course to something better. You've got to seize the day and bring it about yourself.
In the case of the Cleveland Browns I'm sorry for Johnny Football that he has been saddled with such Perfect Teeth People in Cleveland. For the Tennessee Titans, someone up top seems to have figured it out and made the necessary changes to allow success to have a chance again.
Datto
Casey & Gina
11-04-2015, 11:19
What I found about this particular employee was that he was always right. I mean always. He was highly skilled, inventive, knew how to get things done if he was motivated to get things done. All the guy needed was a reason to do well and so far to the point where I took over as his manager, he really hadn't been given much of a reason to succeed at a high level. So many obstacles had been put in his way I knew he was going to hit the exits soon (he even told me so). What a waste for him (since he had some years invested in the company) and what a waste for the company (since replacing this guy would be pretty much impossible given the talent pool available and the compensation offered -- I was in the midst of interviewing and bringing new staff on board so I knew the situation in the marketplace).
That employee's next annual review was a 5 out of 5 and I was able to get him a 40% annual compensation increase and some stock options to boot. The guy did it himself -- the employee. All I did was remove the mountain of obstacles he was facing, put a good plan in place for the upcoming year (a pretty exciting plan if I do say so myself), set a few guidelines here and there and make suggestions on occasion. For his success, he did the rest which was the bulk of the success in his role. All he needed was a good reason to show up to work and the motivation to do well in an environment focused on succeeding and blatent recognition for success.
Sounds a lot like me. Hard for guys like us to find jobs we don't end up hating after a month or two, and when we do it depends heavily on one person who "gets it" like yourself. When/if that person departs from the company, we don't end up lasting much longer. On one hand we can do impeccable quality work efficiently, but if demotivated, don't do much at all.
My happiest and most productive months of working were after my time off from society. When I returned to work it was with a clear objective and detachment. I didn't feel at all dependent on it and that was the key to being able to do it happily.
Water Rat
11-04-2015, 11:22
Before I summited, I thought about this and it sounded like a planetary drop, like astronauts who had been orbiting the earth for a while and had to go through Re-entry into earth's atmosphere. It seemed like an exaggeration. But now I'm home and I'm struggling a little. When I first went to my shop a couple of weeks ago, I stayed for 5 minutes and left. The "busy" in there overwhelmed me a little- and I used to thrive on chaotic energy. I went to Vietnam for our annual site visit just a week after I finished the hike, now I'm back again and have jet lag on top of the being in the "real world" blues. The artificial lights, the constant buzzing that I am now aware of, the concrete and the traffic. All yuck. I visited a couple that I hiked with for a while and that was so great. Seeing them and talking about our experiences was so comforting. People in my life are interested in the hike only on a very superficial level ( did you see any bears? How did you get food? Did you have to poop outside?) and I long to talk about it, really discuss it and what it all means, in depth. I was at the Hong Kong airport a couple of days ago and these amazing mountains were visible. I wanted to bolt. I feel guilty because my family gave me this time and now I really have to be present and participate in our lives. That's fair and right. But really, I want to go backpacking.:( there should be a support group for thru hikers. " hi - I'm Bonnie and I am powerless over path that leads into the woods....." So what's the shelf time of this malaise, anyone know?
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
It sounds like you are old enough to finally know the secret :) – We change all the time. Most of the changes in our life are subtle, they go unnoticed. We evolve in thought, in choices, how we do things. We just don’t notice because our lives are busy – Especially when we work and raise children and otherwise keep busy (like with your charity).
Any event, travel to someplace new, or simply spending time focusing on yourself, has the ability to make one stop and think. For example, that first trip to Vietnam was like that for you – It lead to the creation of your charity. From what I learned in reading your journal, it sounds like you finally had some “me” time on the trail and were finally able to reflect on your life, deal with things that needed dealing with, and are ready to take the next step with your life.
It sounds like you are eager for more “me” time so that you can continue to learn and grow and have new experiences. The sudden shift back to the world of daily living can be a lot to handle – Not that there was ever anything “wrong” with your life. Certain aspects of your life prior to the trail just might not fit with the evolution you underwent on the trail. Or, you might need to make some tweaks to make the last chapter better suit this chapter of your life. The trail was something you wanted to do for many years and was deep in your blood. It only makes sense that you would have taken the time to listen to what it had to tell you (the trail has lots of words of wisdom for us if we choose to listen).
The great news is that you don’t HAVE to take a 6 month break to get out there and continue the learning process. You have already done the hard part in beginning the journey. It doesn’t need to end just because you finished the trail. You just need to take some time for you – Time that is not dedicated to dealing with anyone else. Use your “me” time for walks/hikes, writing, working on figuring out who you are, who you want to be, and what you need to do to get there. Take a few weekends to get out there and just enjoy being in nature. Maybe it will even lead to the PCT? ;)
It sounds like you have an awesome support team in your husband, daughters, and staff at the ice cream shop! Use this time to figure out what you want the next chapter to look like. That can help divert some of the malaise. The trail is in your blood and you will miss it, but it is still there. Our lives are not set in stone. We wake up every morning and have choices to make. As long as we are breathing we have the ability to change who we are and what we do.
So, let me start to explain, a little, how this works.
The Cliff Notes version is there is something in The Universe that makes it such that if you will declare your intentions for where you want to go with your life -- and then follow-through with action -- and if your intentions are aligned with what is right (not necessarily aligned with Society since The Universe and Society are at times at odds with each other), the Universe will come to your aid.
In the beginning I used to think it was to make it easier. That the Universe would come to your aid and make it easier.
Over time I've begun to understand the Universe comes to your aid to make it better, not easier.
There was a particular event in my life as a junior high school student that I can remember in detail where it all started. The idea of Convergence. Where events and people and timelines come together to your aid -- once you have decided how things should be and you move toward that result with action.
I had come off the field after having lost every single stinking football game of the season. Every game. The last game of the season had our cross-town rivals, who had also lost every game of the season with the exception of having won the game against us, beating us 6-0. Our crosstown rivals had not even being able to score the extra point. They were as inept as we were, only just a hair better than us.
When I had walked off the field at the end of that last game of the season, a kid at the end of the bleachers of Boucher Field -- a seventh grader -- was yelling "Losers!" and then had yelled "Loser!" directly at me.
I had done the only thing I could think of as a kid at that time -- I stopped and gave that kid the finger.
The kid looked at me and then, as if a threat, told me he was going to get his mother. Given my mindset at the time, I did not consider that to be any kind of threat at all. The mother had deserved the finger from me for having such an obnoxious kid in the first place.
So the kid ran off to get his mother and in the meantime, first my teammate Tom Kruse (not the actor) showed up walking off the field by the bleachers and had asked me why I was standing there at the end of the bleachers. I told Tom Kruse that some kid had just called us a bunch of losers and that I was waiting there for the kid to bring his mother over so I could give her the finger too. Tom Kruse decided he'd wait there with me so as to give the mother the finger also. Then my teammate Rick Armalavage showed up to also ask why Tom Kruse and I were standing there at the end of the bleachers. Whereby Tom Kruse and I explained about the kid calling us losers and that the kid was bringing his mother over so we could give his mother the finger.
Well, the kid came over to the end of the bleachers and I had asked the mother if she was the mother of this kid who had called us losers and she said she was and then, in unison, the three of us -- Tom Kruse, Rick Armalavage and I proceeded to give the mother the biggest, most robust finger we could muster.
The mother, of course, was appalled at our action and covered the eyes of her kid and swept the kid away down the line of the bleachers so as to not see the other unified actions we had comprised to thwart someone, anyone, calling us losers.
The whole entire episode with the kid and his mother and having lost every football game of the entire season had such a profound impact on me that my parents, right afterward, had thought I was having some kind of teenage mental problem over the course of the next month. At the end of about a month I had come to realize, after having such a bad attitude for so long, that I hated losing more than I wanted to win. That I truly was a loser just like that kid at the end of the bleachers had said. That my teammates and I were all losers. We had no idea how to win. We didn't know what to do to win. To be winners.
We were clueless.
From that point forward I was absolutely obsessed with never losing again. At anything.
So, how do you think this ended up?
Looking back on it just a few years later I had come to the conclusion that I would never see as much outrageous success ever again in my life that I had experienced after that kid had called me a loser. I had figured a few years later that I had peaked early in my life. Things would never get that good again after that kid had called us all losers.
Of course, I would be wrong about that. Even with such astounding success over the next three years after having given that kid and his mother the finger, things would get even better than I could imagine later in life. Incredible success. Way beyond of where my imagination could take me as a teenager.
At the same time as that kid had call my teammates and I losers, I had not been getting along with my dad -- at all . Several of our disagreements had ended with fisticuffs to which my mom had interceded with my mom pleading for my dad and I to stop beating on each other.
See, the time where the kid at the end of the bleachers had called my teammates and I losers -- that had a profound effect on me and had caused me to take control of my own destiny. Of course, I really hadn't known where I was going since I was young and dumb and really, honestly, had no clue whatsoever.
But wherever I was going from that point forward I had decided I would personally determine the direction -- rightly or wrongly.
My revolt with my dad had pretty much started when my dad had taken me to Frank's Barber Shop on the south side of Tower Park. My dad had Frank shave my head as an attempt to "calm me down and get me in-line" from what the teenage revolt I had undertaken at the time against my dad and pretty much everything else about Society. Frank had tried to advise my dad about what a bad idea it was to have a teenager walking around with a shaved head but my dad had persisted with the task so Frank had obliged and I had ended up with a shaved head. My dad back then had become a perfect teeth type of person whereby things were orderly and planned out and success resulted from diligent nose-to-the-grindstone type of effort with what Society had demanded. Anything else was dealt with swiftly using punishment so as to not allow divergence to gain ground from the standard -- the wish of Society .
So again, how do you think this ended up?
That outrageous success, right after the kid had called me a loser, was my very first encounter with the idea of Convergence. Whereby The Universe will come to your aid once you decide how you want things to be and you are committed to where you are going. Where other people come together with you in a convergence of events and timeframes and coordinated effort to make things better than you can ever possibly imagine.
Really, I don't think it dawned on my dad until the University Of Miami showed up with a sum of money that was five times per year what my dad had saved up for what he had thought would be enough for an entire college education in the modern age.
I still remember the look on my dad's face when my mom showed my dad what the letter had said. The letter that had come in the US Mail that day.
My dad had never been involved with sports in his life -- he had worked a full time job with his nose to the grindstone since he was 13 years old. His dad was a blacksmith and with the advent of the automobile my dad's family of nine had really only known being poor in a coal mining town in western Pennsylvania. My dad had found the US Navy and that had been his ticket out of the coal mines my grandfather had insisted no son of his would ever have as a means of making a living.
It was the look of astonishment. The look my dad had when he had first read through the letter that had come in the mail. It was so far askew from what my dad had conceived as reality that in his mind this was a dream. Something that could only be into the realm of impossible, from my dad's view of life.
So some booster and a recruiter from the University of Miami (way the heck down in Florida if you can believe it) showed up in a corporate jet. Impressed the living heck out of me since I had never in my life been on any kind of airplane and here was some guy with films and a dialogue and well, girls. I mean, the prettiest girls I had ever seen in my life. Florida girls. All having come off this shiny sleek jet. A jet if you can imagine! Evenly tanned, the prettiest white teeth, smiles that could melt any teenagers heart and the barest of coverage over the important parts. The girls I mean. Not the jet.
Somewhere along the whole process at the Holiday Star Theater in Merrillville, the biggest auditorium with a largest projection movie screen in the area, I had asked the white girl who had been assigned to me -- what was her major at the University of Miami. Not that I was paying much attention to her answer at all. I mean, being totally flummoxed by her appearance and my profound luck of being with her that evening.
She told me, in the nicest and sexiest southern accent you can imagine to this day, that she didn't attend the University.
So I had asked her what she did for a living if she didn't "go to" the University.
She told me with a very big smile that she was in the entertainment business.
Now even me, being young and dumb, hayseeds as the Chicago Sun-Times had called me and my teammates at one time -- I had figured out this whole "entertainment business" situation without much adieu.
I have the utmost respect for Rick Pitino and what he has accomplished in his line of work. I've actually read a few of his books about motivation and the components of all of that.
Rick Pitino is a guy who gets things done. Succeeds. Does not let obstacles stand in his way. Whatever the obstacles may be. Figures out what needs to be done and gets on with it without delay. Knows the essence of what it takes to get others to succeed.
So when all of a sudden when this recent (today) "expose", Ha, shows up about hookers being a part of high school recruiting, I had to laugh out loud. Busted out laughing actually.
Hookers. Huh.
Who'da thunk it?
What would really stun my dad into a state of complete disbelief about me is the package presented to my dad from the tiny college where my dad was wanting me to attend. To follow in his footsteps and become a successful engineer. My dad was in disbelief that this tiny college where he had picked out for me to attend would actually show up with an even bigger financial package than the University of Miami. And the tiny college was in-state too so the money was even more gravy than the amount from the University of Miami.
My dad did not understand any of this. Total disbelief. I think my dad thought there was a catch to all of this. An unstated element not known to my dad that would cause the entire process to eventually fall apart like a house of cards leaving my dad responsible for funding my college education at a really expensive college institution.
You can't come out of the coal mines of Nanty-Glo, Pennsylvania, as my dad had done, had have your ignorant, dumbbell, irreverent kid get this kind of opportunity for success out of the clear blue.
Well, that's the way my dad had looked at it anyhow.
More later.
Datto
Tell ya whada I think. You're Cliff Notes versions are longer than mine, you have read Rick Pitino books(I read one too), and you inspired me to meditate once again on the framed Henry David Thoreau quote on the wall that many have quoted various versions of.
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” ~Henry David Thoreau
As far as Hookers, I haven NO COMMENT. :D
Traveler
11-09-2015, 07:37
Obviously that is important to the Cleveland Browns and the Tennessee Titans.
How's that working for them?
Datto
Thats an oxymoron comment, right? Tennessee and perfect teeth.... <rimshot>
rocketsocks
11-09-2015, 08:24
Thats an oxymoron comment, right? Tennessee and perfect teeth.... <rimshot>
...more like Air ball.
You have to decide, for yourself, what it is you are committed to -- what are elements of your life where you are all-in. Where and when and with whom you are going to deploy your four great resources (time, energy, capital, love). Then, get on with it.
One of the most difficult things to figure out is to determine where to focus. So many things in modern life tug and push a person in many un-unified directions. That's why deliberate choice becomes important. In order to choose wisely, you have to know what it is you want.
I know a very small number of people who can take all of their eight Pies Of Life (financial, family, social, spiritual, career, physical, community, other) and succeed at all of the Pies concurrently. I'm smart enough to know this approach -- spreading the butter evenly across the Pies -- is a terrible approach for me. I have a history to look back upon today and I can see in hindsight the spread-even approach has never worked for me. Not once. It dilutes success and squanders resources and I end up, in general, with mud and blah. So I pick, roughly, three or four Pies at a time and focus the bulk of my great resources on those.
And here is where convergence comes into play -- when you begin to see the possibility that success in a particular area may end up being immense. Greater than the sum of the individual efforts being put forth. Seeing the possibility of convergence allows you to hone your focus in order to achieve the greatest success. The greatest happiness. That's why you're here -- your reason to be. To find happiness. The components of happiness are have fun, live fully, peace.
When I started high school the very first day of football practice is still memorable for me even today. The guy who was running the practice is the greatest person I've ever met. He said something very important; "I and Coach Murphy will show you how to win. If you do what we say, you will win."
That was the element I had been missing all along. I had no idea what I was doing in football and had already come to that conclusion on my own, as painful as it was to admit it to myself. I had wanted to go about winning but there was just no place to start figuring it out. I am somewhat ashamed to say that my teammates and I had no idea what X's and O's were on the first day of football practice when we entered high school.
On a subsequent day of practice this guy -- the coach -- would hand all of us individual sheets of mimeograph paper which we distributed evenly amongst ourselves after having duly sniffed the mimeograph paper loudly until there was nothing more to be sniffed. The guy, the coach, may not have had an idea until that very day the group of teenagers that had just arrived on his doorstep were truly clueless. We really didn't know anything, not even the basics. I'm sure -- after he had heard several times someone whisper the question, "Are we the X's or the O's" -- that he had come to the conclusion we were so clueless the entire season would be one sizeable effort after another. He told us when we go home for the weekend after practice we were to memorize what was on the sheets of mimeograph paper and have that committed to memory by Monday. He would be quizzing us on our memorization efforts and anyone who failed would have to run an "extra" mile. I remembered how my ears had perked up considerably at the word "extra". In my own naive mind I was wondering just how many miles were we going to be running without that "extra" part coming into play? Holy cow, he's not going to expect us to be toting this helmet all these heavy football pads around while we're running a mile, is he? In my own teenage head, I had said to myself, "It's August in the nineties and may get to 100 degrees next week. People will die."
So you have to make a choice. Do you really want to follow-thru with what you are saying to yourself or are you just playing at success?
Luckily for me that coach didn't not allow for any half-way measures. No dipping your toe into the waters to see if you thought you might like being a success at football. You were either in and completely committed or you were off the field. There was no middle ground. We were too far behind as young and dumbers to allow any time left for being non-committal.
Many of my teammates were all the same guys I had known in junior high. When the 9th graders from the two junior highs in my small Indiana town were combined the following year into a single entity, into the single high school in town, I didn't really know those people from the other junior high at all. Well, beyond the fact that those guys from the other junior high had also previously lost every game except for the game where they had beaten my junior high team. How in the world were we going to win at anything?
We didn't know at the time we would go from not even knowing what X's and O's were to quickly becoming one of the best football teams in America. We didn't just beat everyone. We dominated our opponents. Top 10, ranked, unranked, big city school, small town school, out of state school -- it didn't matter. After having come from two junior high schools where we couldn't hardly score a point, we would set the record for the most points scored in a football game that would last into the next century. At a time where 200 yards of offense per game was considered pretty darn good, we would have more than 500 yards of offense. We had become so dominant our opponents would refuse to play us in their schedule during later years, saying we were "too different". Yeah, we beat everyone all the time. That's pretty different.
That Chicago Sun-Times article where the journalist had said their Chicago inner city tuffs were heading down to play something along the lines of the Hayseeds of Indiana? My mom had liked to read the big city newspapers and told me my team was mentioned in one of them. Showed me the article. I had said to my mom, "Are they talking about us here with this insult?" My mom re-read the article and said, "Seems so." We had an evening practice that night and I took the article into the locker room and showed as many of my teammates as possible." We crushed those inner city tuffs 44-0. Our second string was in the game at the start of the second quarter. Our third string played the entire second half of the game. The inner city tuffs said we ran the score up on them and refused to play us again. It was our third string that ran the score up -- had the starters remained in the game the score would have been more than 100-0.
You have to ask yourself, what in the world made that much success happen? How did the success happen so fast?
It was convergence. The right people at the right time with the right actions who had been all-in without exception. Each of us had recognized the convergence. There wasn't any explanation, just that it existed and we were lucky enough to have seen it and be in the midst of the it.
If you are looking to live a full life, which is one of the components of happiness, you should be looking for convergence coming toward you. When convergence arrives you have to be ready and committed. You can't do toe-dipping. You have to fully embrace convergence and get on to living fully.
The other instruction that same particular coach had said that first day of football practice when I entered high school:
"This isn't about doing your best. This is about winning."
Datto
Three recent articles about happiness -- Heh, no mention about a LIfe Of Pies:
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/americans-over-30-are-more-miserable-than-theyve-ever-been-2015-11-09?link=MW_popular
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/5-reasons-americans-are-unhappy-2015-10-12?page=1
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/spending-money-on-these-things-may-make-you-happier-2014-12-10
Datto
I haven't done a long distance hike yet. But I did take a long break from being a part of society, living outside without using money and being able to carry everything I owned for many months. It was perhaps even more liberating than an average hike, because I became confident that I could live indefinitely without any dependency on working, renting, buying, etc. That was 6 years or so ago. I re-entered society after getting married, but it has never been the same. I have money and possessions but don't flinch at the idea of giving it all up again, which is exactly what I am now in the process of doing in preparation for a thru hike. A little different - I will be better prepared this time and keep some money in the bank and some things in storage to make the next re-entry easier. That said, I am sure I will not really have any strong desire to come back! After the hike, I plan to move somewhere totally new (don't know where yet, will decide that on the trail) and do something different for income than the typical 9-5 office grind that I've always done. I expect to live more simply and with less income, but hope to be happier. Because trying to live the "normal" life after realizing that it's silly and unnecessary is agonizingly boring. Traditional full-time jobs are entrapping. I think an ideal life for me would involve working for half the year then taking the other half off and going on some adventure. :)
You should go be a deckhand on "the Deadliest Catch". They make great money, but risk their lives doing so and only work a few months out of the year. Very adventurous. If I were young, and a man, and had no ties (i.e. children, spouse, etc.) I would SO do that.
It is called "culture shock".
I had it, once.
The only thing is to let time get you thru it.
After that, you may find you have changed your outlook, or, you never want to re-enter your life as it was.
Most people, I think, make accomodations, incorporating something from both "lifestyles" or all they have experienced.
Casey & Gina
11-12-2015, 23:56
You should go be a deckhand on "the Deadliest Catch". They make great money, but risk their lives doing so and only work a few months out of the year. Very adventurous. If I were young, and a man, and had no ties (i.e. children, spouse, etc.) I would SO do that.
Well I am not into risking life and limb so much, nor killing fish for profit (I support hunting and fishing for oneself and family, but am opposed to the commercialization of animal deaths). I also have a wife and son these days. So while I value and enjoy nature and disconnecting from society, I prefer the tamer side of things. :)
Rent it or check it out on NetFlix. Some good ideas about what makes people happy. Check out what the kingdom of Bhutan is doing after carefully considering what makes people happy. They promote a Gross National Happiness and even have a metric for it. Check this link how Bhutan measures the HAPPINESS metric:http://www.treehugger.com/economics/how-happy-is-bhutan-gross-national-happiness.html
http://cdn-1.nflximg.com/us/boxshots/ghd/70243161.jpg
Happy
2011 NR Rated NR 75 mins rated 4.1 stars
Happy takes viewers on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of Kolkata in search of what really makes people happy. Combining real-life stories and scientific interviews, the film explores the secrets behind our most valued emotion.