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04-01-2016, 09:45
Huntingdon, PA (Apr 1)- Mid State Trail Association, in cooperation with Pennsylvania Game Commission, announces the availability of free WiFi for Mid State Trail hikers, initially on Sections 2 and 3 of Pennsylvania’s longest and wildest footpath near Everett, Bedford County.
Last February 30, the Department of Materials Science and Engineering, in the College of Earth and Material Sciences at Penn State University, announced a breakthrough in achieving radio frequency resonance with quartz crystals uniquely found in the Silurian Tuscarora formation. Although an initial experiment resulted in damaged test equipment and a report of a toasted “television” in the trail near campus, later experiments verified the precise angle of rock sharpening required for both 2.4G and 5G WiFi retransmission.
Connection of these WiFi points to the larger Internet required exploiting the molecular memory of melted sandstone mined by U.S. Silica and embedded in fiber optic trunk lines installed worldwide and manufactured by Corning, Inc. at Addison, NY. The exact retransmission protocol remains classified.
MSTA volunteers spent all last winter sharpening the rooster combs of Sections 2 and 3 to the proper level of sharpness identified by the Penn State researchers. Several backpackers, none of whom gave their real names, expressed delight at selection to beta test the new network, explaining that to millennials neither water nor legal campsites are needed as much as free WiFi.
The open WiFi network uses state of the art T-Cubed security. Any use of “outdated colonial” units in packets processed by the network will immediately ban the user device’s IP address for life. In addition, sniffer units, cleverly disguised as raccoons, will police the network and report any apparent violation of Game Commission regulations to the proper authorities.
Prospective system users need only to enable the T-Cubed security protocol, then initiate a search for network ID “April Fools.”
Last February 30, the Department of Materials Science and Engineering, in the College of Earth and Material Sciences at Penn State University, announced a breakthrough in achieving radio frequency resonance with quartz crystals uniquely found in the Silurian Tuscarora formation. Although an initial experiment resulted in damaged test equipment and a report of a toasted “television” in the trail near campus, later experiments verified the precise angle of rock sharpening required for both 2.4G and 5G WiFi retransmission.
Connection of these WiFi points to the larger Internet required exploiting the molecular memory of melted sandstone mined by U.S. Silica and embedded in fiber optic trunk lines installed worldwide and manufactured by Corning, Inc. at Addison, NY. The exact retransmission protocol remains classified.
MSTA volunteers spent all last winter sharpening the rooster combs of Sections 2 and 3 to the proper level of sharpness identified by the Penn State researchers. Several backpackers, none of whom gave their real names, expressed delight at selection to beta test the new network, explaining that to millennials neither water nor legal campsites are needed as much as free WiFi.
The open WiFi network uses state of the art T-Cubed security. Any use of “outdated colonial” units in packets processed by the network will immediately ban the user device’s IP address for life. In addition, sniffer units, cleverly disguised as raccoons, will police the network and report any apparent violation of Game Commission regulations to the proper authorities.
Prospective system users need only to enable the T-Cubed security protocol, then initiate a search for network ID “April Fools.”