PDA

View Full Version : Well prepared thru hiker ready to quit!



Suzy Q
05-04-2016, 00:00
Our family member is a very well prepared thru hiker! Planned and saved over a year, did a 40 mile shake down test hike...
Two weeks into thru hike is calling for us to pick him up, he wants to quit! Last thing he told us as we dropped him off was "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!"
He feels he started too late and cannot find anyone moving at a quick pace to keep him company.
Any advice?!

Uriah
05-04-2016, 00:10
He doesn't sound well-prepared at all, and might want to find comfort in his own company. Or speed up. Or be picked up.

rafe
05-04-2016, 00:16
Just go, go as far as you can, nothing says you have to do it all in one go. Great if you can make it to Maine that year, but finishing the trail in two years, or ten, or twenty, is still a worthy endeavor and achievement.

The suggestion above is in hindsight. "Going too slow" was mainly why I quit in VA, years ago. I couldn't keep up. But I should have just kept on, at my own pace. That's what HYOH is all about.

rafe
05-04-2016, 00:22
I'd be happy to chat with your "family member" to offer encouragement. I remember quitting my thru hike, and I've often wished I hadn't. (Properly speaking: my attempted thru hike. It's not a thru hike till it's done and over.)

rocketsocks
05-04-2016, 00:27
Tell em to start thumbin' it, what's the problem?

rocketsocks
05-04-2016, 00:31
Wait, this is t another all or nothin' AT hiker where my certificate is it? egads, can't anyone just hike for the love of hikin' anymore? Way to much emphasis placed of the ever precious hiker hall o' fame types.

rafe
05-04-2016, 01:21
Wait, this is t another all or nothin' AT hiker where my certificate is it? egads, can't anyone just hike for the love of hikin' anymore? Way to much emphasis placed of the ever precious hiker hall o' fame types.

Be flip about it, I know that's your style, and you wouldn't be our dear socks otherwise, but if you haven't at least attempted a thru hike, you don't really know what this is about.

Acacia
05-04-2016, 01:47
Tell em to start thumbin' it, what's the problem?

Exactly. Why not skip that section and go to Damascus, for instance. (Might as well meet Wolf while there, who may give him a good two word lecture). Since he's fast, he can finish the first part later.

Mags
05-04-2016, 02:16
Tell the family member to take a day off, eat some good food, do some laundry, relax and think it over first.

If they still want to stop doing a thru-hike after this rest day, then consider the suggestions above.

Dogwood
05-04-2016, 02:57
Well prepared thru hiker ready to quit!
If it decidedly was planned to thru-hike the AT I contest the veracity of this statement based on the lame excuses given. The prospective AT thru-hiker wannabe has to play a winning mental game. There are solutions to the situation without succumbing to lame excuses. The hiker has to find those solutions outside of quitting.

kayak karl
05-04-2016, 06:44
This info from hiker is second hand and not worth much. Maybe it just wasn't all it was cracked up to be !

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

bigcranky
05-04-2016, 06:46
So this person is hiking faster than everyone else? I've seen that (from both sides) and it's hard because you're always with different people. The others all have their little trail families, and you're always the outsider. The hiker will eventually hook up with someone else working at the same pace -- but two weeks isn't even close to enough time to make that happen.

I like Mags' advice, and would add, "never quit on a bad day". If there is any way this person could give it another two weeks, I think life on the trail would be a lot easier then.

Good luck with this.

Lone Wolf
05-04-2016, 06:50
Our family member is a very well prepared thru hiker! Planned and saved over a year, did a 40 mile shake down test hike...
Two weeks into thru hike is calling for us to pick him up, he wants to quit! Last thing he told us as we dropped him off was "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!"
He feels he started too late and cannot find anyone moving at a quick pace to keep him company.
Any advice?!

no advice. he's done. the fantasy became a reality

rickb
05-04-2016, 07:06
no advice. he's done. the fantasy became a reality

I don't think the OP was asking for second hand advise to pass on to her family member, but rather advise on whether or not she should drive to the trail to pick him up-- after being explicitly told not to do that under these conditions.

Traveler
05-04-2016, 07:36
Given the last instructions to not pick up the hiker, the family should respect that wish. The onus is on the hiker to decide what to do and either figure out how to push through the issues that are in the way, or figure out how to get home. Either way will work out fine and the family will hold their promise.

rafe
05-04-2016, 07:56
I don't enjoy being cruel, but that "very well prepared thru hiker" is no such thing if he/she is wanting to quit after two weeks on the trail. If you can't convince him to stick with it, I say let him find his own way home, and deal with the consequences of his decisions.

DuneElliot
05-04-2016, 08:45
Why not go hike with him for a few days? Sometimes people need a morale boost and getting out there with them for a couple of days might help.

Greenlight
05-04-2016, 08:56
Sounds like this hiker is looking for the trail family experience. Is there any shame in finding the bubble, getting dropped off there, and continuing north with them? Then flip flop later to pick up the missed section. But like several have said, there may be other things going on. If this person said "if I call, don't pick me up" then they need to consider abiding by that wish. I can only speculate about myself and reasons why I might get to that point, but "don't quit on a bad day" sounds like the sagest advice given. I think my "why" for wanting to thru-hike is strong enough to pull me through the suckiest experiences, but who knows?

Pedaling Fool
05-04-2016, 09:07
Our family member is a very well prepared thru hiker! Planned and saved over a year, did a 40 mile shake down test hike...
Two weeks into thru hike is calling for us to pick him up, he wants to quit! Last thing he told us as we dropped him off was "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!"
He feels he started too late and cannot find anyone moving at a quick pace to keep him company.
Any advice?!Don't pick him up, that was his instructions.

I don't understand this part: "He feels he started too late and cannot find anyone moving at a quick pace to keep him company."

If he started two weeks ago, then there probably were not many other thru-hikers, if any. So is he saying he's out hiking other thru-hikers or there are none? If he sticks to his hike, he will catch up to some, but not sure how many, it all depends on his mileage per day. How many miles per day is he averaging?

A thru-hike is a lonely thing, unless you find a group to stick with. I guess he missed that in all the hubbub about overcrowding on the AT.




.

Suzy Q
05-04-2016, 09:55
Wow! So much wonderful advice so quickly! Thank you everyone!
Our thru hiker found a ride into town and has parked himself at a hotel for the past three days, waiting for us to pick him up!
Lots of great advice! Perhaps we will drive him ahead to join the "bubble"? Just wish he would get back on the trail and follow his dream!
Thank you for the advice!

Pedaling Fool
05-04-2016, 09:59
Wow! So much wonderful advice so quickly! Thank you everyone!
Our thru hiker found a ride into town and has parked himself at a hotel for the past three days, waiting for us to pick him up!
Lots of great advice! Perhaps we will drive him ahead to join the "bubble"? Just wish he would get back on the trail and follow his dream!
Thank you for the advice!Where is he (ball park location), just curious of his miles per day(MPD) average.

Three days in one hotel not a good sign, seems like he's ready to quit, period. However, I'd still follow his instructions and not pick him up. Remind him well, of his words.

Pedaling Fool
05-04-2016, 10:01
Where is he (ball park location), just curious of his miles per day(MPD) average.

Three days in one hotel not a good sign, seems like he's ready to quit, period. However, I'd still follow his instructions and not pick him up. Remind him well, of his words.
OK, just got the message, 11-15 MPD, that's ok mileage. However, I'd still not pick him up.

The AT is NOT overcrowded, it can be very lonely.

Greenlight
05-04-2016, 10:04
Suzy Q,

Tell him that Greenlight would give his left uhm... anatomy to be in his/her position: On the AT, beginning of May, fully equipped and spending money in the bank, and there are thousands of others like me. If the biggest faux pas is that (s)he's psyched out or lonely, dammit, that isn't a good enough reason to quit. Be sure to update us after your encounter.

soilman
05-04-2016, 10:36
no advice. he's done. the fantasy became a reality

I agree. There are many out there that start the trail well prepared but quit, some after a day or two. On the trail they have dreamed about there was no rain, heat, cold, loneliness, dirt, etc. The idea of hiking is a lot more attractive to some than the actual practice. I ran into a fellow years ago on White Cap Mt in ME who was nearing the completion of his hike. I asked him how is hike had been. He said he hated every day but kept going because he is not a quitter.

RockDoc
05-04-2016, 10:38
Just wondering if "well prepared" means that he bought a bunch of new gear??

How about dozens of long hikes with packs on steep mountains, to be well prepared?

rafe
05-04-2016, 10:47
I ran into a fellow years ago on White Cap Mt in ME who was nearing the completion of his hike. I asked him how is hike had been. He said he hated every day but kept going because he is not a quitter.

Seen that myself, more than once, and my reaction is kind of a weird mixture of admiration and "shaking my head." A hiker like that appears early on in Bryson's book, described by the cab driver on their way to Amicalola Falls State Park.

Is it rational to spend months of unpleasantness, pursuing a goal that you set for yourself without really knowing the cost? And you can't really know till you try.

bemental
05-04-2016, 11:19
Currently on the trail myself, two months into my thru - if they need someone to talk to about things send me a message and I'll be happy to see what's what.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

yaduck9
05-04-2016, 11:39
Suzy Q,

Tell him that Greenlight would give his left uhm... anatomy to be in his/her position: On the AT, beginning of May, fully equipped and spending money in the bank, and there are thousands of others like me. If the biggest faux pas is that (s)he's psyched out or lonely, dammit, that isn't a good enough reason to quit. Be sure to update us after your encounter.

+1

( is trail days still going on? drive him up there, let him "immerse" himself in the bubble, stir, simmer........see what happens )

dudeijuststarted
05-04-2016, 12:00
Encourage a zero-day (a day off.) If they still want to quit than they really want to quit. If they do quit, they should celebrate.

lonehiker
05-04-2016, 12:03
If he wants to quit he wants to quit. The OP, who apparently isn't a long distance hiker, doesn't deserve some of the rude comments posted. They were looking for some constructive advice about how to keep their family member motivated.

rafe
05-04-2016, 12:04
Encourage a zero-day (a day off.) If they still want to quit than they really want to quit. If they do quit, they should celebrate.

Susy Q (the OP) says he's been holing up in a hotel the last three days. Not a good sign.

Gambit McCrae
05-04-2016, 12:12
Well prepared thru hiker ready to quit!


If it decidedly was planned to thru-hike the AT I contest the veracity of this statement based on the lame excuses given. The prospective AT thru-hiker wannabe has to play a winning mental game. There are solutions to the situation without succumbing to lame excuses. The hiker has to find those solutions outside of quitting.

I like this a lot....bad excuses for quitting. "im lonely in the first 2 weeks means he needs less free time lol" answer, more walking..and camp with others.

Water Rat
05-04-2016, 12:13
Wow! So much wonderful advice so quickly! Thank you everyone!
Our thru hiker found a ride into town and has parked himself at a hotel for the past three days, waiting for us to pick him up!
Lots of great advice! Perhaps we will drive him ahead to join the "bubble"? Just wish he would get back on the trail and follow his dream!
Thank you for the advice!

While he waits ask him to think long and hard on the following questions:

If he quits now, will he regret it?

Will this dream gnaw at him over time, as life happens and other opportunities to hike do not arise?

If you go pick him up, will it be used against you as the reason why he did not finish? That question is in now way meant to be harsh - It is an honest question. How will he feel when the frustration wears off? He did leave instructions for you to NOT pick him up... He might be done with this hike, but I would be hesitant to go get him. Many people who are truly "done" would have found their way home after 3 days of waiting. His waiting in town makes it sound like he might not yet really know what he wants to do.

Perhaps offer him the opportunity to jump ahead (rather than quit) to meet up with others who are hiking his pace? If that is truly the reason for wanting to bag the hike, then that is a solution to the issue. The few days off might be what he needs to regroup.

rafe
05-04-2016, 12:29
Anyone planning to thru hike ought to be capable of getting themselves back home, without assistance. (Barring contingencies like injury, stolen wallet or IDs, etc.) So my thought is, don't pick him up. He asked not to be picked up. And if you go against his wishes now you'll never hear the end of it. Time for a bit of tough love -- at least let him find his own way home, if he really wants to be done with the trail.

DuneElliot
05-04-2016, 12:29
While he waits ask him to think long and hard on the following questions:

If he quits now, will he regret it?

Will this dream gnaw at him over time, as life happens and other opportunities to hike do not arise?

If you go pick him up, will it be used against you as the reason why he did not finish? That question is in now way meant to be harsh - It is an honest question. How will he feel when the frustration wears off? He did leave instructions for you to NOT pick him up... He might be done with this hike, but I would be hesitant to go get him. Many people who are truly "done" would have found their way home after 3 days of waiting. His waiting in town makes it sound like he might not yet really know what he wants to do.

Perhaps offer him the opportunity to jump ahead (rather than quit) to meet up with others who are hiking his pace? If that is truly the reason for wanting to bag the hike, then that is a solution to the issue. The few days off might be what he needs to regroup.

Some of the best advice yet! It would be good to help him realize what he's actually giving up...and remind him of those who have in the past, and generally gone on to regret that decision.

swisscross
05-04-2016, 12:34
Most attempts are just that.

Hikes are vacations.
If he is not having fun on his vacation then it IS time to come home.

Spirit Walker
05-04-2016, 12:39
Suggest he walk to the next big resupply stop (i.e. from Fontana to Hot Springs or from Hot Springs to Damascus) and see if he still wants to quit. I found that each section of the trail was a bit different, with new views, new people, different weather, etc. Experiencing the diversity made it easier to say, "I want to see what the next section is like."

He isn't particularly fast if he's doing less than 15 mpd. In any case, there will be a bunch of college kids on the trail soon since many schools get out in May. There will also be a lot more section hikers. He won't be alone.

Trail reality is always different from expectations. Few of us practice week long solo trips in the rain before a long hike. We should.

burger
05-04-2016, 12:45
So the hiker says, "whatever I say, under no circumstances should you come pick me up" and then two weeks later says "come pick me up right now."

Hmm, that sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before?

Oh, yeah...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nalaY6pczpc

Suzy Q
05-04-2016, 12:49
"Well prepared" means planning, studying, saving for a year to go on this hike.
His favorite place to be is in the forest... any time off from work he had, he would take a pack full of weights and head to the mountains!
He also did a prehike of 40 miles close to home, as a test hike a month before he left.
New gear, yes! And well worn boots!
He was prepared physically, financially, and we thought mentally...
Will probably boost him up the trail to the bubble?

CamelMan
05-04-2016, 12:49
Maybe quitting will cause regret, and regret will create a burning desire. But if the desire can't be found, the desire can't be found. Maybe this is just not the time. I hope this person can find the self-direction and inner drive to do what they really want to do, whether it's to stay or to quit, rather than listening to the people around them, or doing what they think they're supposed to do.

I don't see the point of continuing something that takes a lot of time and money just to avoid calling yourself a "quitter". You can use those resources to find something you really do like to do, maybe with more inherent social interaction. For example, I really like scuba diving, and there is no way to be lonely doing that. (You can still be cold and wet, though. It's just more temporary.)

On the other hand, there's always time to change your mind and quit later.

rafe
05-04-2016, 12:55
Great video, burger. Oddly apropos!

Dogwood
05-04-2016, 12:55
Don't drive him anywhere. Give him this. http://genius.com/Eminem-lose-yourself-lyrics

This is reality coming around. "Snap, back to reality…there goes gravity…."

Choice - step up or go home.


'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shart out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.


Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left
Yo left, yo left, yo left right left

rafe
05-04-2016, 12:58
I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin'
Get out of the door and light out and look all around.

dudeijuststarted
05-04-2016, 13:05
OP if he wants to give me his gear, his budget, and wouldn't mind covering some bills, I'll finish up for him.

mattjv89
05-04-2016, 13:07
I don't see the point of continuing something that takes a lot of time and money just to avoid calling yourself a "quitter".

Agreed. When I got into Maine I started running into lots of other thrus who would have been better off quitting a long time ago but were just too stubborn to do so. Talking every chance they get about how awful hiking is and they can't wait to get home and never do this again etc.. No way to live when you're paying for every day out there.

I agree that if he said don't pick me up no matter what he should be held to it and find his way home. But three days holed up in a hotel room isn't sounding good. I am confused about him starting two weeks ago, moving 11-15 MPD and not meeting anyone?? Seems like at that pace he ought to still be in the tail end of the bubble.

Gambit McCrae
05-04-2016, 13:08
Will probably boost him up the trail to the bubble?

Stop that. Don't do that. He made the bed, let him lay in it. HYOH< but I see jumping forward to play the buddy system anticlimactic and unrewarding. Besides - Devils advocate - he gets up to Vermont, gets sick and has to chill for a week, you gunna run up there to catch him back up to buddies? lol Don't bounce him up the trail, mail him a puppy lol

Suzy Q
05-04-2016, 13:15
I wish we could hike with him!
Unfortunately schedules and health do not permit it.
Great idea in theory!

Miel
05-04-2016, 14:00
I wish we could hike with him!
Unfortunately schedules and health do not permit it.
Great idea in theory!

Even if he leaves the trail now, he has already done something so wonderful. He's no quitter, but perhaps he just needs to set it aside for a bit before returning in some future time. Congratulations to him for what he's done so far - and for having self-realization.

gpburdelljr
05-04-2016, 14:35
The fact that he said "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!", indicates that he had serious reservations about the hike before he started.

Jake2c
05-04-2016, 14:54
Not sure about the finding people to hike with issue. On any given day I hike faster then some and slower then others. Never really stayed with a group more than about 2 weeks so far. Maybe the question he needs to ask himself every morning for a while is "can I hike today" and not worry about finishing. I'm sure I was ill prepared when I started. I am not a hiker and have lived my whole life on the beach. I decided to hike the AT for a number of reasons, none very strong. I am at mile 850+ just taking a few days off. I started like most people, worried about covering miles every day and was not enjoying much of anything. I shifted gears and decided I will just hike as far as I feel like it. I may finish it, or may not. I don't see where it makes that much difference. The AT seems to be morphing into something it was not intended to be. It was meant to get away from stress and commune with nature. From what I have seen over the past two months of hiking, many just want to get through it as quickly as possible and stress over every day's milage. I almost got caught up in the same mindset, and I am old enough to know better.

Auto Draft
05-04-2016, 16:06
Unfortunately spending time at a hotel won't get him caught up to the bubble. I was going to say he should keep hiking while many other hikers take a number of days off for Trail Days and maybe he would start catching up to people.

Malto
05-04-2016, 18:01
"Well prepared" means planning, studying, saving for a year to go on this hike.
His favorite place to be is in the forest... any time off from work he had, he would take a pack full of weights and head to the mountains!
He also did a prehike of 40 miles close to home, as a test hike a month before he left.
New gear, yes! And well worn boots!
He was prepared physically, financially, and we thought mentally...
Will probably boost him up the trail to the bubble?

That is not well prepared. 40 miles is not enough to enough to determine whether you would like a long distance hike. He is no different than than hoarders of other unprepared hikers who, as LW said, find reality doesn't always match the postcard. Also, one of the hardest parts of long distance hiking is being able to tolerate yourself. Those that don't like their own company will really struggle. But I am frankly stunned at not being able to find a group to hike with. He is starting a bit behind but doing about average mileage.

gsingjane
05-04-2016, 18:09
Hello Suzy - please forgive the presumptions inherent in my post. If you read anything that helps, that's great and if not, the last thing I would want to do is cause any more hurt.

I am getting the very strong feeling from your post that the hiker in question is either your son, or a step-son, or someone in that position to you. This is such a hard thing! You want to support and love and care for him, but you also want to do the right thing - and you're having such a hard time figuring out what that might be.

I will share with you a bit of insight that I have gained, not from dealing with a thru-hiker son, but a son that has grieved my heart pretty sorely for some time now. That is, as parents we are programmed to hurt when our kids hurt. We feel it is "our job" to fix things, to "make it all better," to save them some of the same pain and heart-ache that has come our way.

We want to save our children pain because - it hurts to look at them in pain and we want to save ourselves that pain, too. But, in saving someone from pain, you are also depriving him of the chance to grow. One thing that I try and remember every day is that everyone deserves the opportunity to work things out for him or herself. Yes, that will have pain associated with it and it will be extremely tough to look at it sometimes. And of course, we aren't cruel or uncaring about it, and we don't make things unnecessarily difficult. But we also permit our loved ones to experience the consequences of their decisions.

My heart aches for you because I can imagine having exactly the same thoughts and feelings as you, in this or a similar situation. I can completely understand the impulse to drive up there and try to make it better for him, help him work it out. But, perhaps consider that, if you do that at this particular juncture, you may also be depriving him of a significant opportunity to experience personal growth. Well, FWIW!

Jane in CT

Secondmouse
05-04-2016, 18:10
it sounds like the reality is not consistent with his conception of what long distance hiking really is.

if he's done, he's done, but I would say essentially, "you made your bed, now lay in it. you don't want to finish that's your choice but now you need to find your own way home, we're not enabling you"...

if he has actually saved enough financially, a bus ticket is nothing. tell him to put on his big-boy panties and get going, up the trail or on the road...

Dogwood
05-04-2016, 18:29
"Maybe quitting will cause regret, and regret will create a burning desire. But if the desire can't be found, the desire can't be found. Maybe this is just not the time. I hope this person can find the self-direction and inner drive to do what they really want to do, whether it's to stay or to quit, rather than listening to the people around them…"

Ohh, BS. Don't contribute as a codependent to someone else's limiting emerging habits.

"I don't see the point of continuing something that takes a lot of time and money just to avoid calling yourself a "quitter"."

It's more than that. It involves more than regret or what you call yourself. Beliefs and behavior leading to habits intertwine to create character or lack thereof. "Excellence(excellence of character) is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." Aristotle


The fact that he said "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!", indicates that he had serious reservations about the hike before he started.

Possibly more accurate he had reservations about his habits, his mental strength. This AT thru-hiker wannabe situation sounds similar to one teaching another to walk, ride a bike, not touch the hot stove, etc. Don't baby him. Guide. Inspire. A true ally a true friend a true loved one acting in love is one who will not always agree with you letting you take the easy way out. A true ally may seem harsh but wants to see you be your best and will inspire you to that attainment. NEVER make the decision to quit in a limited ungrateful unappreciative lacking joy mindset. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING GRATEFUL, APPRECIATIVE, RELAXED, AND JOYFUL AFTER THE DECISION TO QUIT IS MADE! Expanding appreciation and gratitude possibly finding a way to get more light hearted, to laugh, will be good medicine to his soul. There is often a longer period of negative limiting ungrateful unappreciative problem enlarging thought patterns leading up to quitting. Let him fight through breaking this pattern. The trail can be one of the most ideal environments for changing limiting thoughts, character, and belief systems!

“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.”

“A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.”

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”

― William Arthur Ward (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/416931.William_Arthur_Ward)

Greenlight
05-04-2016, 18:44
F'n A, dude, I was thinking the same thing! But we gotta get this kid out of his head and back on the trail.


OP if he wants to give me his gear, his budget, and wouldn't mind covering some bills, I'll finish up for him.

Greenlight
05-04-2016, 18:51
"Excellence (excellence of character) is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." Aristotle

I do believe that is the first time I've ever seen Aristotle quoted in relation to thru-hiking. But it fits. I love it.

Hoofit
05-04-2016, 20:09
Does he have any good gear to sell cheap?

Hoofit
05-04-2016, 20:11
Preferably before he changes his mind!

OCDave
05-04-2016, 21:20
...Any advice?!

You could negotiate a pick-up locale 100 miles down the trail and several days into the future. Give your family member relief that their hike can be over soon but, require that they get back on the trail temporarily?

Good Luck

OkeefenokeeJoe
05-04-2016, 21:38
Go pick him up and drive him directly to the U.S. Marine Corp recruiting station. Maybe they can make a man out of him.

OkeefenokeeJoe

Venchka
05-04-2016, 22:05
Go pick him up and drive him directly to the U.S. Marine Corp recruiting station. Maybe they can make a man out of him.

OkeefenokeeJoe

Bingo!
Obviously, the "preparation" should have included at least 3 weeks on the AT or similar trail. The weather hasn't even been particularly bad.
The final outcome will be interesting.

Wayne

Lone Wolf
05-04-2016, 22:15
y'all are whinin' weenies

CamelMan
05-04-2016, 22:38
Ohh, BS.

Maybe. Which is the excuse and which is the real desire? When have you quit something you've truly wanted to do? You've found ways to persevere, haven't you? So I don't think it's unfair to question whether or not he really wants to hike the trail.

Nobody has to encourage me to try to hike again. On the contrary, they should tell me if they don't think it's the right time or reason. In which case I'll have to decide what's right for my journey, but nobody is going to teach me that by pushing me into something one way or another.

Playing Devil's advocate, with everybody egging him on, maybe this person needs to find the courage to quit. I'll leave him with some inspirational quotes:

"Quitting is leading too." -- Nelson Mandela
"Retreat, Hell! We're just attacking in another direction." -- General Oliver Pierce Smith
"Quitting law school was the most difficult decision of my life. But I felt this great relief that this is my life and I can do what I want with it." -- Carly Fiorina

;)

Venchka
05-04-2016, 22:55
y'all are whinin' weenies

Who? Me?
My vote is for the USMC AT Prep Course.

Wayne

kythruhiker
05-04-2016, 22:57
F'n A, dude, I was thinking the same thing! But we gotta get this kid out of his head and back on the trail.

Are we that far gone as a society that we think we need to mollycoddle some youngster (I'm presuming it's a youngster) and convince them they need to walk, maybe offer up some gold stars or a "I finished" medal? For the love of all that is Lone Wolf, it's ONLY WALKING. He either will or he won't, the trail will go on, as will his life.

Marta
05-04-2016, 23:03
My Rules for Quitting a Thru-Hike (which rules I did not create, by the way) included spending at least two days in town, which he has already done.

The Rules also allowed me to spend two weeks at home, and then go back to hiking, without it being considered (by me) "quitting." At the lowest point of my hike I went home for four days.

Why not pick him up? He'll either regret quitting, or not. There are lots of other things he can do with the time and money saved, many of which he may find more rewarding.

Best wishes to you all.

MuddyWaters
05-04-2016, 23:19
Ok to quit if not having fun.

Will they regret it? Maybe.
Depends on why they wanted to hike in first place.
That can be a very personal issue, or quite flippant one.

Weve got ingrained in us since kids " not to be a quitter"
"Quitters never win, and winners never quit"

No one ever said that applies to vacations

You havent quit....until you quit trying and give up.
Retreating to repair, regroup, and change tactics isnt quitting, its strategy.
Sometimes the best one.

This is why many are successful on secondary or greater attempts.

shelb
05-05-2016, 00:02
If you go pick him up, will it be used against you as the reason why he did not finish?

He asked you to not pick him up, which means he was worried he might falter. If you pick him up, you risk fall-out. Personally, If I made a friend promise to support me in a certain manner, I would be disappointed and feel alienated if that friend went against my wishes.

Regarding the other hikers, my guess is he was with a group that pulled ahead. That is no big deal, as he can find another group to join if he gets back on the trail!

If he gets off, he will always regret it and, possibly, blame YOU because YOU promised to not give up on him - meaning you wouldn't count him a failure and take him off the trail....

shelb
05-05-2016, 00:06
Hello Suzy - please forgive the presumptions inherent in my post. If you read anything that helps, that's great and if not, the last thing I would want to do is cause any more hurt.

I am getting the very strong feeling from your post that the hiker in question is either your son, or a step-son, or someone in that position to you. This is such a hard thing! You want to support and love and care for him, but you also want to do the right thing - and you're having such a hard time figuring out what that might be.

I will share with you a bit of insight that I have gained, not from dealing with a thru-hiker son, but a son that has grieved my heart pretty sorely for some time now. That is, as parents we are programmed to hurt when our kids hurt. We feel it is "our job" to fix things, to "make it all better," to save them some of the same pain and heart-ache that has come our way.

We want to save our children pain because - it hurts to look at them in pain and we want to save ourselves that pain, too. But, in saving someone from pain, you are also depriving him of the chance to grow. One thing that I try and remember every day is that everyone deserves the opportunity to work things out for him or herself. Yes, that will have pain associated with it and it will be extremely tough to look at it sometimes. And of course, we aren't cruel or uncaring about it, and we don't make things unnecessarily difficult. But we also permit our loved ones to experience the consequences of their decisions.

My heart aches for you because I can imagine having exactly the same thoughts and feelings as you, in this or a similar situation. I can completely understand the impulse to drive up there and try to make it better for him, help him work it out. But, perhaps consider that, if you do that at this particular juncture, you may also be depriving him of a significant opportunity to experience personal growth. Well, FWIW!

Jane in CT

This was so eloquently written! My thoughts, exactly!!!

Skyline
05-05-2016, 00:25
It's only early May. True, the hikers in Georgia or just entering North Carolina right now are near the end of the Class of 2016, but no way is he alone out there. There may be other real or perceived reasons to quit, but not having other hikers around for socializing and support isn't one of them. This is the AT. Except in deepest winter, you're not likely to be alone for very long.

Dogwood
05-05-2016, 01:40
Some of you are fooling yourselves...and supporting lame excuses for quitting.

Read the opening post again. Two wks into a planned NOBO AT thru-hike...meaning he started right within the spring thru-hiker rush during a stretch of decent weather in late April well within the AT NOBO Thru-hiker crowd. He's supposedly hiking at a fast pace but if he's averaging 15 MPD he's right there amongst the avg MPD for a NOBO AT thru-hiker hiking themselves into shape...emotionally, physically and mentally. He's barely gotten his trail legs and likely isn't in thru-hiker mode with MUCH new to him as he finds ways adopting to a new life. Of course, he's struggling. Reality is setting in! No more prepping from behind a keyboard or reading a book on LD backpacking. Much planning and research has been done pre hike. STOP listening to opinions of people who haven't personally experienced AT thru-hiking! Specific detailed instructions were previously communicated, "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!" According to the loved one, the OP, this is his dream.

Are you kidding me? THESE ARE LAME EXCUSES ALL RATHER EASILY SOLVABLE, "He feels he started too late and cannot find anyone moving at a quick pace to keep him company"... EVEN IF THEY WERE TRUE!

Here's reality. Dreams are dime a dozen. They are usually just another word for fantasizing. As LW says so tersely the fantasy is now becoming reality. Sounds harsh but truth sometimes hurts. Executing to attain dreams is no longer fantasy. He's currently experiencing GROWING PAINS, emotional and mental ones, in making the dreams real.

Let him be. Don't pick him up to drive him home. Inspire. Uplift. Don't be cruel but also see through these lame excuses.

Dogwood
05-05-2016, 02:16
Maybe. Which is the excuse and which is the real desire? When have you quit something you've truly wanted to do? You've found ways to persevere, haven't you? So I don't think it's unfair to question whether or not he really wants to hike the trail.

Nobody has to encourage me to try to hike again. On the contrary, they should tell me if they don't think it's the right time or reason. In which case I'll have to decide what's right for my journey, but nobody is going to teach me that by pushing me into something one way or another.

Playing Devil's advocate, with everybody egging him on, maybe this person needs to find the courage to quit. I'll leave him with some inspirational quotes:

"Quitting is leading too." -- Nelson Mandela
"Retreat, Hell! We're just attacking in another direction." -- General Oliver Pierce Smith
"Quitting law school was the most difficult decision of my life. But I felt this great relief that this is my life and I can do what I want with it." -- Carly Fiorina

;)

I know lame lame thru-hiking quitting excuses when I hear them!

I also know I wouldn't mistakenly use that Nelson Mandela or General Oliver Pierce quote out of context of the lives they purposed to live or their situations or other actions to support lame arse quitting...quitting of anything.

Nelson Mandela also said AND PROVED he would walk his talk countless times:
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity(in his self too, read his memoirs) was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”

"There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.”
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

I have that last Mandela quote written in many a trail journal.

And let us not forget even after being imprisoned 27 yrs in a cruel system perhaps his greatest display of character to walk the Long Walk was not succumbing to bitterness and hatred.

General Pierce, commanding a force of 30,ooo in the Korean War, made that statement quoted facing Chinese forces numbering in excess of 110,000 charged with exterminating "The Chosin Few" in the Battle of the Chosin Reservoir. The Chosin Few didn't retreat with their tails between their legs. They didn't call to be "picked up!" NO, they had a strategy. First, they fought their way out from commanding superior numbers. Then, as they retreated they inflicted severe significant casualties to their enemies.

Carly Fiorina I know nothing about other than some say she is a sharp biz woman. To me she obviously held her own on a political stage with some very powerful and connected figures.

egilbe
05-05-2016, 06:23
Double post

egilbe
05-05-2016, 06:28
Carly Fiorina destroyed HP.

http://fortune.com/2015/08/14/carly-fiorina-president-2/

Pedaling Fool
05-05-2016, 06:31
It's official, this thread has ran it's course...:rolleyes:

Pedaling Fool
05-05-2016, 06:33
It's official, this thread has ran it's course...:rolleyes:Whoops, should have typed its:o

Miel
05-05-2016, 07:34
Go pick him up and drive him directly to the U.S. Marine Corp recruiting station. Maybe they can make a man out of him.

OkeefenokeeJoe

Wow.

And who are you to comment on his manhood?

He's really something just for even trying.

Miel
05-05-2016, 07:46
Go pick him up and drive him directly to the U.S. Marine Corp recruiting station. Maybe they can make a man out of him.

OkeefenokeeJoe

What about the women Marines?

Didja know that the Marines accept women?

Tru story, bro - almost 100 years of service!

DavidNH
05-05-2016, 08:24
SuzyQ... how much of the trail has your family member done so far? what are his reasons for wanting to quit?

if it is endless rain.. that will pass.. tell him/her to stick it out. In any case, if he/she is truly miserable... there is no point continuing to be miserable. I am a thru hiker my self (Springer to Katahdin in 184 days in 2006) and I can tell you that when the trip is over.. no one really cares that much how much you hiked or if you completed the trip. What ever glory there is is personal.

Greenlight
05-05-2016, 08:54
Nah, what I was doing was offering encouragement. There is a big difference, in my mind. What has happened, societally, is that we've made our kids a lot less resilient than they used to be through simple peer interaction and alone time in which we developed thick skins, bonded, learned to negotiate, and kept in shape (even if it was through moderately dangerous activities and fist fights). The whole middle part of "the story" is missing for a lot of kids now. What happened in "the beginning" that didn't translate to "the middle" here for this potential hiker? There wasn't an instant trophy. You have to get to "the end" or at least to some point well toward it, to get any sort of recognition or even self-satisfaction. That point is different for everyone, but I doubt there is much satisfaction at 40 or even 100 miles into a 2200 mile trail.

So I was offering encouragement. Being "in your head" means rumination, which is dwelling on debilitating negative emotions and messages. I view what I said as a helpful goad, not some sort of participation medal.

I teach resilience, and it scares the crap out of me how so many of the kids coming into the military are thin skinned and expecting breaks. I look at it like in a video game, where they can look up cheat codes and gain invincibility. There are no cheat codes on a long trail, or any other hard but potentially satisfying life experiences. You gain invincibility by falling down and getting up, getting wet and dealing with it, getting cold and managing it, getting lonely and slogging through it until friends happen. You get to the vista by climbing the rocks to the top. That's all I want for this kid.




Are we that far gone as a society that we think we need to mollycoddle some youngster (I'm presuming it's a youngster) and convince them they need to walk...

Pots
05-05-2016, 09:04
Wow! So much wonderful advice so quickly! Thank you everyone!
Our thru hiker found a ride into town and has parked himself at a hotel for the past three days, waiting for us to pick him up!
Lots of great advice! Perhaps we will drive him ahead to join the "bubble"? Just wish he would get back on the trail and follow his dream!
Thank you for the advice!
He could consider flip flopping or doing a southbound since their bubble has not left yet!

Dogwood
05-05-2016, 13:44
Nah, what I was doing was offering encouragement. There is a big difference, in my mind. What has happened, societally, is that we've made our kids a lot less resilient than they used to be through simple peer interaction and alone time in which we developed thick skins, bonded, learned to negotiate, and kept in shape (even if it was through moderately dangerous activities and fist fights). The whole middle part of "the story" is missing for a lot of kids now. What happened in "the beginning" that didn't translate to "the middle" here for this potential hiker? There wasn't an instant trophy. You have to get to "the end" or at least to some point well toward it, to get any sort of recognition or even self-satisfaction. That point is different for everyone, but I doubt there is much satisfaction at 40 or even 100 miles into a 2200 mile trail.

So I was offering encouragement. Being "in your head" means rumination, which is dwelling on debilitating negative emotions and messages. I view what I said as a helpful goad, not some sort of participation medal.

I teach resilience, and it scares the crap out of me how so many of the kids coming into the military are thin skinned and expecting breaks. I look at it like in a video game, where they can look up cheat codes and gain invincibility. There are no cheat codes on a long trail, or any other hard but potentially satisfying life experiences. You gain invincibility by falling down and getting up, getting wet and dealing with it, getting cold and managing it, getting lonely and slogging through it until friends happen. You get to the vista by climbing the rocks to the top. That's all I want for this kid.


All too acceptable in one big pity party to be offended or "discriminated against" or ruminating incessantly on life or some aspect being unfair or wrong or not perfect enough. Move on. Move forward. Move over. Move around. See the mountain top. Step after step after step. Go forward enjoyably. Embrace it all. AND, as you're doing it don't succumb to limiting constantly agitated, embittered, despising, irritated, offended and hateful thoughts yourself. A GREAT example of this is the life of Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

This is all directly relatable to adapting to LD trail life……and LIFE!

capehiker
05-05-2016, 14:00
Just wanted to remind the OP that lost in this thread of chest bumping and bloviating is a wonderful post:


Hello Suzy - please forgive the presumptions inherent in my post. If you read anything that helps, that's great and if not, the last thing I would want to do is cause any more hurt.

I am getting the very strong feeling from your post that the hiker in question is either your son, or a step-son, or someone in that position to you. This is such a hard thing! You want to support and love and care for him, but you also want to do the right thing - and you're having such a hard time figuring out what that might be.

I will share with you a bit of insight that I have gained, not from dealing with a thru-hiker son, but a son that has grieved my heart pretty sorely for some time now. That is, as parents we are programmed to hurt when our kids hurt. We feel it is "our job" to fix things, to "make it all better," to save them some of the same pain and heart-ache that has come our way.

We want to save our children pain because - it hurts to look at them in pain and we want to save ourselves that pain, too. But, in saving someone from pain, you are also depriving him of the chance to grow. One thing that I try and remember every day is that everyone deserves the opportunity to work things out for him or herself. Yes, that will have pain associated with it and it will be extremely tough to look at it sometimes. And of course, we aren't cruel or uncaring about it, and we don't make things unnecessarily difficult. But we also permit our loved ones to experience the consequences of their decisions.

My heart aches for you because I can imagine having exactly the same thoughts and feelings as you, in this or a similar situation. I can completely understand the impulse to drive up there and try to make it better for him, help him work it out. But, perhaps consider that, if you do that at this particular juncture, you may also be depriving him of a significant opportunity to experience personal growth. Well, FWIW!

Jane in CT

Googan
05-05-2016, 14:16
Does this individual have difficulty adjusting to new situations? It seems like they may just be overwhelmed by this adjustment.

QiWiz
05-05-2016, 16:08
He still has time to finish. Take a zero, get a town meal, take a deep breath. Then hike on or go home. If it were me, I'd keep hiking till I was really SURE about quitting. I don't know how you can be really SURE after two weeks. He's just getting started; he doesn't even have his trail legs yet. Just sayin . . .

capehiker
05-05-2016, 23:30
Heck, I don't even start NoBo for another 8 days. He's already 2 weeks up the trail. He's got plenty of time.

TD55
05-06-2016, 00:38
There are bigger issues here in this story than just a wanna be hiker no longer wanting to be a hiker. He has a thru-hikes worth of funds stashed away and is calling for his family to come rescue him while he lays around in a motel room feeling sorry for himself. He needs his family to facilitate his quitting. If he is going to quit he should do it on his own and not be dragging his family into it. With all that leftover cash he can afford a bus, train or rental car.

MuddyWaters
05-06-2016, 06:23
There are bigger issues here in this story than just a wanna be hiker no longer wanting to be a hiker. He has a thru-hikes worth of funds stashed away and is calling for his family to come rescue him while he lays around in a motel room feeling sorry for himself. He needs his family to facilitate his quitting. If he is going to quit he should do it on his own and not be dragging his family into it. With all that leftover cash he can afford a bus, train or rental car.

+

Its no cheaper for someone to drive down (op is in MD) and get them, than it is to get arse on a bus. In fact, downright self-centered and immature to expect someone to come get you. Sounds like someone wants mommys pity.

If they quit, great. Too many people on trail anyhow. Tell them to grow up and youll see them when they get home

Greenlight
05-06-2016, 06:50
Surely the dilemma has been solved by now... Suzy Q, did he hike on or did he go home?

I'm curious.


Our family member is a very well prepared thru hiker! Planned and saved over a year, did a 40 mile shake down test hike...
Two weeks into thru hike is calling for us to pick him up, he wants to quit! Last thing he told us as we dropped him off was "do not get me if I call you, do not let me quit!"
He feels he started too late and cannot find anyone moving at a quick pace to keep him company.
Any advice?!

Don H
05-06-2016, 07:24
OP, my opinion is that I wouldn't pick him up. If he's got enough money for a thru he's got enough money for a bus ticket home.

cmoulder
05-06-2016, 07:43
Somebody could get some nice, lightly-used gear cheaply depending upon how this ordeal resolves. :-?

Suzy Q
05-06-2016, 08:24
UPDATE:
2 family members went to asses situation.
Medical attention was needed, and hiker treated at local ER. Given medical thumbs up to continue. Hiker now desired to continue on trail at same location.
In the morning (fortunately family was still there)... it was very clear more medical attention was needed. No longer trusting the ER, hiker has been brought home to see a specialist.
He hopes they will allow him to continue, and we will return him to his previous location by tomorrow morning.
It is all up to the specialist.
I would like to thank everyone for their advice! I anticipated a handful of responses... and was impressed by the time so many took to offer suggestions! I joined The White Blaze because the AT Conservamcy said it was a great resource for hikers and their families! They were incredibly correct!
With Aporeciation,
Suzy Q

Greenlight
05-06-2016, 08:27
I emailed Suzy Q for an update since a few days had gone by. Don't wanna divulge the entire email since I didn't ask permission, but here's the short and quick of it, it involved a medical issue. They got it addressed but the condition worsened and needed a specialist. That involved a trip back home, but it appears the hiker is rarin' to get back on the trail as soon as the specialist clears it. I'm stoked for them. Hope it ends in a scramble up Katahdin.

Suzy Q
05-06-2016, 08:33
Thanks Green Lantern and everyone else! We hope for that as well!!!

Suzy Q
05-06-2016, 08:35
Oops! Sorry! Greenlight!!!

Greenlight
05-06-2016, 08:43
The thru-hiker who gave me my trail name at Mount Collins shelter joked that maybe Green Lantern would be more appropriate, but I wouldn't have it. ;)


Oops! Sorry! Greenlight!!!

Venchka
05-06-2016, 09:06
i'm glad all is well & the hiker is on the mend.
It's far too easy for most of us to jump to way off base conclusions not knowing all the facts.
Good luck and get well soon!

Wayne

cmoulder
05-06-2016, 10:18
...It's far too easy for most of us to jump to way off base conclusions not knowing all the facts.
...

This is true, but at no time previous was a medical issue mentioned... something about how he's too fast?? Whatever.

However, it still remains that one 40-mile shakedown cruise does not make anybody "well-prepared" for a thru. Something like 8-10 days with a resupply scenario thrown in there would be good, and perhaps would have exposed the medical issue before it got too bad.

But I hope the hiker in question is well soon and able to continue. That's a pretty rare opportunity to let go to waste without one helluva fight.

bigcranky
05-06-2016, 11:08
This is true, but at no time previous was a medical issue mentioned...


Yeah, because the family didn't know about it.

swisscross
05-06-2016, 11:31
Yeah, because the family didn't know about it.

Would that not be the first thing to mention to family members when requesting help or a ride?

mandolindave
05-06-2016, 11:44
I am inclined to lean towards respecting the privacy of the hiker, as the medical condition may have been slightly embarrassing, seeing how he seemed hesitant to share with his folks, and Suzie Q didn't share it with us.

On the other hand, if we might learn from it, and or, prevent someone else from having to interrupt their hike…….

The story has changed quite a bit. It appears the hiker did the smart thing, is not wanting to give up, and has the right stuff. Cool on him !!!!!

SuzieQ for sure did the right thing. My kid calls for help…..I drop everything. Life, work, romance, and such will teach the kid enough about hard knocks. Parents are better suited for teaching lessons such as unconditional love. Cool on Suzie Q too.

Secondmouse
05-06-2016, 12:37
There are bigger issues here in this story than just a wanna be hiker no longer wanting to be a hiker. He has a thru-hikes worth of funds stashed away and is calling for his family to come rescue him while he lays around in a motel room feeling sorry for himself. He needs his family to facilitate his quitting. If he is going to quit he should do it on his own and not be dragging his family into it. With all that leftover cash he can afford a bus, train or rental car.

this is exactly what I said a little while ago. if he's got enough cash to do the trail, he's got enough for a bus ticket. going to get him does nothing to help him in the larger picture.

SuzyQ, part of the magic of hiking on this trail is discovering self reliance. accomplishing something challenging increases self respect. why would you cheat him out of this?..

Abner
05-06-2016, 12:55
I think to walk on the trail or walk off the trial, it is his decision. He was as best prepared as he could possibly be. The fault was not in the preparation. Life is calling him in a different direction. Perhaps he's getting a good lesson in listening to his intuition. My two cents.

yaduck9
05-06-2016, 13:21
read the thread..............and this movie clip keeps popping up as I read

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLvGnro4Cgw

have no idea what to make of it

Miel
05-06-2016, 13:22
I can't understand why anyone would be opposed to picking up a child in distress, even if money was not an issue, even if there was a way to get home easily (bus, rail, etc.).

Some complain we pamper our children, to their detriment. I contend that love trumps all.

CalebJ
05-06-2016, 13:43
I can't understand why anyone would be opposed to picking up a child in distress, even if money was not an issue, even if there was a way to get home easily (bus, rail, etc.).

Some complain we pamper our children, to their detriment. I contend that love trumps all.
No. That philosophy leads to a child that doesn't know how to fend for himself. Our mission as parents is not to help our children do everything. It is to -teach- them how to take care of themselves, and assist as needed along the way. In this case, the individual was funded enough to begin the trip with the proper gear and to put themselves up in a hotel for three days. They also gave crystal clear instructions before starting as to how to react if they asked for help. Respect their wishes and help them grow. Real love in this case doesn't mean pampering them.

Greenlight
05-06-2016, 14:15
Well, if he's wearing Pampers, he's gonna need Body Glide or that junk is gonna chafeeeeeeeeee... :banana

Dogwood
05-06-2016, 14:15
Curious if medical condition was the result of or exasperated by going out too fast too long too hard from the starting line? Everything doesn't just magically fall out of the sky onto one's shoulders. Sometimes we are our own worse enemy. Sometimes, especially in today's "child worshipping" culture, family members and loved ones, although having good intentions, can actually stifle self reliance, independence, and personal growth. There's cause and effect going on when adapting to trail life. Can't blame everything on something else anymore. Besides, placing blame, playing the blame game, is wasting energy that can be applied to solution solving regardless of blame. It's personal responsibility time doing a thru-hike! Some obviously have issue with it. Some will have issue with the harsh reality of this post.

I am not assuming any of this applies to this hiker's situation. It's offered as food for consideration.

Wish safe travels for the hiker and family.

mandolindave
05-06-2016, 15:31
The hiker told his family not to let him quit. He didn't quit. I for one wouldn't want to be sick on a bus.

The hiker was brought to the ER. The treatment failed and he was taken to a specialist. The hiker and his family did the right thing. AND, the hiker is anxious to get back on the trail. Lucky for all concerned that the family didn't take advice from this thread.

Bronk
05-06-2016, 15:41
After two weeks he's probably almost to the smokies...tell him if he still wants to quit you'll pick him up in Hot Springs. I didn't feel like I was really "in shape" and physically up to the task until I made it that far. Maybe he just needs another couple weeks to get into shape.

q-tip
05-06-2016, 15:56
My goal was goal was Harpers Ferry, 1,000 mi, and I wanted to quit every day. I practically crawled the last 200 miles, but I finished my hike and glad I completed thé walk. . I would never spend another three months to finish the thru hike. . Bottom line, we each have our own goals, and the daily grind of long distance is quite a different experience on the trail as opposed to the view from ones couch.

Suzy Q
05-06-2016, 17:19
UPDATE 2
Thank you again everyone!
We appreciate all the advice, positive and negative! It helps to view things from all angles!
Our hiker was given the green light to continue by the medical specialist! Now with peace of mind he can return to the trail!
He will head back after a couple days of R&R!
I shared with him how many people had contributed to this thread! He was encouraged that so many people cared!
Thank you again!
Happy Trails! 👣
Suzy Q

Greenlight
05-06-2016, 20:36
You don't know how pleased I am that he's getting back on the trail. Your post made my day.


UPDATE 2
Thank you again everyone!
We appreciate all the advice, positive and negative! It helps to view things from all angles!
Our hiker was given the green light to continue by the medical specialist! Now with peace of mind he can return to the trail!
He will head back after a couple days of R&R!
I shared with him how many people had contributed to this thread! He was encouraged that so many people cared!
Thank you again!
Happy Trails! 
Suzy Q

Suzy Q
05-11-2016, 12:10
Our family member is back on the trail, at the previous location!
Thank you everyone for all the advice!
White Blaze is amazing! 😊

Trailweaver
05-11-2016, 12:41
Does this hiker have a trail journal we can follow? I'd like to see how he progresses. Also, I think many people here would like to contact him (through his journal website? Or e-mail?) to offer encouragement. I, for one, admire his tenacity. He got help, solved the problem (maybe not in a way that some of us would, but he DID solve it), and he's hiking now. That makes it OK from where I sit! (Unfortunately, I am sitting, not hiking, as I'd like to be.) :-)

Dogwood
05-11-2016, 12:55
This is true, but at no time previous was a medical issue mentioned... something about how he's too fast?? Whatever.

However, it still remains that one 40-mile shakedown cruise does not make anybody "well-prepared" for a thru. Something like 8-10 days with a resupply scenario thrown in there would be good, and perhaps would have exposed the medical issue before it got too bad.

But I hope the hiker in question is well soon and able to continue. That's a pretty rare opportunity to let go to waste without one helluva fight.


Yeah, because the family didn't know about it.


Would that not be the first thing to mention to family members when requesting help or a ride?

YUP!!! UGGGH! One has to read between so many different lines, anticipate unknowns, make assumptions, be blindfolded, spun around in circles, and then be expected to hit the bulls eye with an appropriate answer.

Dogwood
05-11-2016, 12:56
This info from hiker is second hand and not worth much…

KK got it right from the get go.

TD55
05-11-2016, 13:04
this is exactly what I said a little while ago. if he's got enough cash to do the trail, he's got enough for a bus ticket. going to get him does nothing to help him in the larger picture.

SuzyQ, part of the magic of hiking on this trail is discovering self reliance. accomplishing something challenging increases self respect. why would you cheat him out of this?..
I'm glad the hiker and family didn't adhere to my opinion. If he is back on the trail, it's a good thing.

Trailweaver
05-11-2016, 14:00
See? So sometimes there is "more to the story." We all need to remember that, and take that into account sometimes when something is posted here. I sometimes jump to conclusions, and have had to backtrack too. It's always best to err on the side of kindness and less judgement.

cmoulder
05-11-2016, 15:13
See? So sometimes there is "more to the story." We all need to remember that, and take that into account sometimes when something is posted here. I sometimes jump to conclusions, and have had to backtrack too. It's always best to err on the side of kindness and less judgement.

It was not until post #93 (Page 5) that a medical problem was mentioned. People's advice—whether snarky and condescending or comforting and coddling—made the reasonable assumption that the OP's information was accurate, and there was, at least at first, a certain, uhh, 'smell' to it. All MVHO, of course... okay just the last phrase was MVHO. ;)

Suzy Q
05-11-2016, 22:15
I would like to thank EVERYONE who weighed in with the advice I requested!
Please forgive me, if you feel I was misleading in any way! It appears there may have been some hard feelings! I apologize!
I was completely honest and as open as possible in seeking advice. There was an underlying medical issue, but not one that should interfere with the hike. Our hiker did not mention this as a reason in desiring to discontinue the hike.
All is well, and he is back on the trail!
Thank you again!
Still loving the White Blaze family!
Happy trails everyone!
Suzy Q

shelb
05-11-2016, 23:28
[QUOTE=Suzy Q;2066362]I would like to thank EVERYONE who weighed in with the advice I requested!
Please forgive me, if you feel I was misleading in any way! It appears there may have been some hard feelings! I apologize!
I was completely honest and as open as possible in seeking advice. There was an underlying medical issue, but not one that should interfere with the hike. Our hiker did not mention this as a reason in desiring to discontinue the hike.
All is well, and he is back on the trail!
Thank you again!

SuzyQ: You are so kind! And, you understand that the trail community of White Blaze, unfortunately, went with information from your original post that did not contain enough information. That is a double problem:
#1: White Blaze members should understand that there are two sides to every story, and the whole story might not be in front of them.
#2: As an original poster, you have been understanding that some people, including myself, gave responses that we would not have given if we had the whole story. I apologize.

Lastly, your last post stated you hadn't thought his condition warranted getting off the trail; however, it ended up working that way. Kudos to you for helping out and ENSURING HE GOT BACK ON THE TRAIL!!!!! You are truly awesome!!!

Gambit McCrae
05-12-2016, 08:36
I would like to thank EVERYONE who weighed in with the advice I requested!
Please forgive me, if you feel I was misleading in any way! It appears there may have been some hard feelings! I apologize!
I was completely honest and as open as possible in seeking advice. There was an underlying medical issue, but not one that should interfere with the hike. Our hiker did not mention this as a reason in desiring to discontinue the hike.
All is well, and he is back on the trail!
Thank you again!
Still loving the White Blaze family!
Happy trails everyone!
Suzy Q

feel like you are yelling in every post lol SO MUCH EXITEMENT!!!!! lol

Suzy Q
06-16-2016, 11:50
I would like to thank everyone for your wonderful responses during our family member's crisis. You were all very helpful! I thought you might like an update?
Our hiker is still on the trail! Yay!
He came across a great group of fellow thru-hikers and they are doing great!
They have hiked over 600 miles now, and are well on their way to finishing in Maine before mid October. If necessary they will do a flip flop towards the end!
Thank you again for all your support during a difficult decision!
Happy trails!
Suzy Q

SGTJones
06-22-2016, 22:39
SuzyQ just curious does your hiker have a heart thing, and carries a GPS that he can msg home with?

Moosehead87
06-23-2016, 03:48
You cannot make someone succeed. You can encourage, you can support...but this individual seems to have set out on this journey for all the wrong reasons. The AT offers all kinds of challenges and experiences, but it is not merely a social walk in the woods. It can be an immensely rewarding experience or it can shake an individuals soul to the core. If this person wants to quit for the stated reasons, then they should quit. Period

Doctari
06-23-2016, 19:17
Glad to hear he is hiking again.
IMHO: there is no such thing as a "well prepared hiker" when it comes to months on the trail. Well, unless you are a former thru hiker. I've been hiking the trail (average of 1 trip each 4 years) for 28 years, & each time I get on the AT, I'm ready to quit the first week. Every time I think I got it worked out, I get to the trailhead & think "WHAT IN THE H### WAS I THINKING? THIS IS INSANE!!!" Again, IMHO, a thru hike isn't a vacation, it is HARD WORK. But as mentioned many many times here at WhiteBlaze & elsewhere, that really hard part is what is in your head. Gramma (Emma) Gatewood even said "hiking is mostly in your head"
I hiked with a partner this year, & still got lonely. I got as light gear / pack weight as I can (base of 19 LBS) & still thought it WAY too heavy. I was in very exciting terrain, still got bored. I'll be back in 2017 regardless of that.
SuzyQ: tell your hiker to hang in there, it will be worth it in the end, & trust the word of someone who has quit early for similar reasons given, you WILL regret it (Insert the line from Casablanca here.)

MuddyWaters
06-23-2016, 19:43
You cannot make someone succeed. You can encourage, you can support...but this individual seems to have set out on this journey for all the wrong reasons. The AT offers all kinds of challenges and experiences, but it is not merely a social walk in the woods. It can be an immensely rewarding experience or it can shake an individuals soul to the core. If this person wants to quit for the stated reasons, then they should quit. Period

The only wrong reason, is if someone else coerces you. If someone wants to be out there voluntarily, Id say thats good enough. Smart choice?..thats a different story.


Glad to hear he is hiking again.
IMHO: there is no such thing as a "well prepared hiker" when it comes to months on the trail. Well, unless you are a former thru hiker. I've been hiking the trail (average of 1 trip each 4 years) for 28 years, & each time I get on the AT, I'm ready to quit the first week. Every time I think I got it worked out, I get to the trailhead & think "WHAT IN THE H### WAS I THINKING? THIS IS INSANE!!!" Again, IMHO, a thru hike isn't a vacation, it is HARD WORK. But as mentioned many many times here at WhiteBlaze & elsewhere, that really hard part is what is in your head. Gramma (Emma) Gatewood even said "hiking is mostly in your head"
I hiked with a partner this year, & still got lonely. I got as light gear / pack weight as I can (base of 19 LBS) & still thought it WAY too heavy. I was in very exciting terrain, still got bored. I'll be back in 2017 regardless of that.


Well if you dont enjoy it, why you do it?

rafe
06-23-2016, 22:34
Well if you dont enjoy it, why you do it?

It feels so good when you stop. ;)

MuddyWaters
06-23-2016, 22:52
It feels so good when you stop. ;)

I try to spend 3-4 weeks per year on trail somewheres these days. I loves every minute. Especially rainy nights snug under tarp. But then, I like hard work. It makes me feel like did something worthwhile. Something we are supposed to do.

I basically run 800-1000 miles per year....just to stay in shape so I do enjoy it more.

HelloNeiman!
06-23-2016, 23:35
Given the last instructions to not pick up the hiker, the family should respect that wish. The onus is on the hiker to decide what to do and either figure out how to push through the issues that are in the way, or figure out how to get home. Either way will work out fine and the family will hold their promise.

This is the best advice I've read here. To truly HYOH, may mean to QuitYOH, sure ... but it has to be on them to decide and act. Don't be his scapegoat, don't let him blame you later (which may or may not be out loud).


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Doctari
06-27-2016, 19:24
Well if you dont enjoy it, why you do it?

Didn't say I don't enjoy it, just want to quit within 1st week. Once I get through that It's all golden!!!

jdavis7590
08-19-2016, 15:51
Best of luck!