View Full Version : A Backpacks Obituary

01-05-2006, 15:56
Attention Wayne Gregory:


March 1996 - December 2005

Hanover, New Hampshire - Wind River Gregory Backpack, a lifeflong traveler and friend has been laid to rest December 31, 2005.

Wind River "The Bitch" known by one, who had been harnessed by her, was born most likely in a factory setting in the mid nineties. After graduating from the mail order circuit. The Bitch pursued many life long dreams that other backpacks could only imagine. Successfully completing degrees on The Pacific Crest Trail (requiring over 2600 miles of research), The Appalachian Trail (2100+ miles), The Long Trail, VT (300+ miles) and other excursions of study and realxation totaling more miles than can be traced. In her final year, during the summer of 2005, a pre-retirement hike (800+ miles of the Continental Divide) was an attempt to research the hiking style needed to complete her triple crown. Unfortunatley upon her return was laid to rest due to weight issues, wear and fatigue.

The Bitch is survived by The Brain. Once an extension of her physical being. Now just a fanny pack to be used by Appalachian Trail hikers for town and slack packing encounters.

In lieu of flowers and trail food, a replacment pack can be sent to: Karine J. Kelleher 93 Lebanon Street, Lebanon, New Hampshire 03755

01-05-2006, 16:00
Sorry - I clicked twice

01-05-2006, 16:04
Fixed it for ya! :)

01-05-2006, 16:12
Send that obituary to Gregory, you might get something out of it.

01-05-2006, 16:21

Wonderful! You really should send it to Gregory! (with "action" pics, too).

01-05-2006, 16:28
Try it!

I had a pair of "White Mule" leather work gloves that lasted over 20 years. When the leather palms finally wore through, I wrote the company and told them about it in a positive way.

The CEO was so thrilled he sent me a personally written congratulatory letter and a 2 brand new pairs of gloves for free!

01-05-2006, 17:01
I have sent out the obituary to Gregory, I havn't heard anything thus far. I figured the humor in which it was written should at least get some interest. Wait and see.......

Blue Jay
01-05-2006, 20:33
You should have auctioned it off on Whiteblaze as an air freshener.:eek:

01-05-2006, 20:41
Nice write up Blister. I hope Gregory hooks you up.

Funny how a piece of gear can become like an old friend. I have a Dana Designs Glacier, which is a HUGE pack, but it has served me well. I tried to sell it here (unsuccessfully) and I'm glad that no one bought it. It comes in handy now that my daughter is backpacking with me. A HUGE pack can be helpful when you carry extra food and such. Not that she's a slacker mind you. I just try to keep her down to 12-15 pounds.

ed bell
01-05-2006, 20:42
I am with you in your time of loss. Peace be with you.:sun

01-06-2006, 13:54
Thank you for the O-"Bitch"-uary. I'm sure she was a fine pack who will be missed. ;)

01-06-2006, 14:29
Thats a real tear jerker Blister. I got my pack in 95 and its hard to imagine getting a new one. It has been said that I'm "too cheap" to get a new one; they just don't understand...

01-06-2006, 23:53
So what's the final resting place? Burial in some hidden corner of the forest? A dramatic pyre, with ashes spread on the local stomping grounds? Bronzing? Scrapped for parts? On display in a glass case?


01-07-2006, 00:06
LOL... funny.

Don't just send Gregory the obit but send them the Pack asking if it's possible they can revive her.

I did basically the same with a leaking Thermarest and a flattened out Z-Rest and they sent me both back new!

Wolf - 23000
01-11-2006, 23:34
I remember running into “The Bitch” first on the PCT and then again on the AT. You would never hear her whine, complain, or talk back no matter how much abuse she saw. That was her partner. J She will truly be missed. Does anyone know if she had any off-spring?

01-12-2006, 15:37
A noteworthy mate has never been found to initiate the creation of offspring. Still on the look out however. Did I just say that, gggeezzz. Anyhow I have recieved alot of feedback from the obituary, most of it great offers, others complete shut outs. Instead of a Gregory pack, although one has been offered, I may take up the offer for a competitors product. Still undecided since Gregory has also reviewed my resume and would like to talk further of positions that may be available post hike. The Obit has put me into socks, shoes and a replacment pack thus far, all I need now is a new tent and clothes - not really imperative but would love to replace some very warn items on my non exsisting budget. I am in shock that all this is coming together!!!!!!!!!!!!!

01-12-2006, 16:25
That's really cool! I often thought about trying something similar with Volkswagen. I bought a 1990 VW Jetta (in 1996) for $200 that had been slated to be used for fire department traning. The original owner thought it was a goner and I had a new water pump put in and it was good for another 10 years of heavy use. I put over 100,000 miles on it and eventually got rid of it when it came down to an $800 muffler repair. I ended up selling it to the muffler repair guy for $250 and he in turn sold it for close to $1000 once he fixed the exhaust on it! I often thought if I wrote VW, perhaps they'd love my plea so much they'd send me a new car.

Wolf - 23000
01-13-2006, 00:16
Hey Blister, I have a couple old retired packs that you could introduce her to. I have to admit they’re a little small but well traveled. We could see what happens. We can set the mood have a nice campfire, under the stars. With Valentine Day coming up soon … who knows. Nobody should be lonely.


01-13-2006, 12:52
Better attach a 2x4 to your little pack - god knows my pack would just swallow your little guy. I am talking about back packs :-?

01-13-2006, 13:20
blister i love yer carpenter sense of humor