Friendliness

[chknfngrs]

Was at Maupin Field Shelter on Saturday afternoon after finishing a classic Mau-Hard Trail/Appalachian Trail loop. Sitting at the picnic table next to the freshly fallen giant tree, a youngish looking male/female couple came up from Campell Creek. I gave a warm hello to the female hiker, who didn’t answer. Followed just a few steps by her boyfriend or spouse and also offered a hello. No answer. It was downright odd to be given the cold shoulder like that, but raises the question of “Should I have been more insistent”. It’s likely they were having a bad hair day or something. Or they forgot their water filter, or in the midst of their own drama. But wishing they said “Hello” back so I wouldn’t be worried about them two days later.

Ever had an awkward encounter like this?!

[T.S.Kobzol]

I notice it often with people. I was raised with different manners but I guess my way is not the highway :-)

[Traveler]

Several possible explanations. You didn't say if they kept hiking past the shelter or if there was recognition like a nod of a head or a look acknowledging your greeting. It could be something very simple like ear buds that are difficult to see may have been in use, which is pretty commonplace and they simply may not have heard you.

It is quite possible they were in process of completing a difficult hike or sprint to the shelter (or point beyond) and were still "in-the-zone" where they may have heard you, but it didn't register. I have this happen frequently, especially on difficult terrain where concentration is robust and I just don't hear people or if I do, I usually just smile or nod but do not say anything.

It could also be they have run into talkative people at shelters (the Mary-Jane syndrome?) and had no interest in conversation. They could have been having a disagreement and had no interest in things outside of their issue.

Sometimes there are clues to behavior that lead to a reasonable conclusion. Were they talking to each other as they passed? Did they keep on walking after you hailed them? Did they set up camp without talking to each other? Did they stay a while and was anything said after a short break? Did they speak English? Were they deaf? Lots of possible reasons, bad manners being among them of course.

You observed appropriate manners in hailing or greeting the couple, being insistent about it could have possibly changed the context from friendly greeting to a person to be avoided. I would not read much into it.

[stephanD]

If your friendliness is not reciprocated, just ignore and move on. Being over-friendly is just as bad as being under-friendly. Sometimes people just want to be left alone and that's OK. But not to respond to a friendly gesture with a quick "Hi" or at least a node of acknowledgment, it is just plain rude, that's my opinion.

[Five Tango]

Well here goes! My first trip to Springer Shelter my hiking partner and I arrived and hung our hammocks a few yards behind the shelter out of everyone's way.All we wanted to do was use the picnic table to heat our dinners.

There was a group of Millenials there,all had the same identical packs which were para military looking and all done in the exact same digital camo.We encountered what was obviously the leader and the first words out of his mouth were ,"How long do you intend to be here?"Then he explained he "had the shelter" as they had a big group coming after my reply that "we will be here until morning".Duh!We had just done the approach trail and I Know they walked up from the parking lot.Oh,and I told him there is no way we would sleep in the shelter anyway.

Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.

The rest of their group arrived and they partied loud and proud into the wee hours of the morning.
It was all I could do not to go wake that jerk up and tell him we were sorry if we spoiled his party.

The next time I encounter someone like that I do intend to ask to see their title.What title?The title that says they own the place!Shy people I understand,but rude people are deplorable.

[T.S.Kobzol]

in situations like these it's not a bad idea to bang the pots early in the morning ;-) (just kidding)

[chknfngrs]

Defintely agree

[stephanD]

Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.


I like to think of myself as a friendly and easy going guy (at least i'm trying) but one thing that raises my blood pressure on the trail is when people are spreading their wares on the common picnic table:mad:

[Sailor (The other one)]

Old advice I've read here many times - never stay at a shelter or campsite an easy walk from a road. Those are the sites you are more likely to meet folks like you met.

[JPritch]

OP, happens to everyone. Don't let it get to you. I've had more pleasantries and nice gestures not acknowledged than I can count. But if you take the mindset that you've done your part because you wanted to, and not because you expect anything in return, makes it easier to swallow. You were in my neck of the woods I see...that is one tough loop for sure. You start at 56 or up on the parkway?

[chknfngrs]

We did a double lollipop/crooked lollipop. Started at Reid’s Gap Saturday morning and hiked the AT south and then Mau Hard north, slept at Maupin Saturday night, then woke up Sunday and hiked Mau Hard south and then connected with the AT north back to Reid’s Gap parking. Baller hike!! 99% sure I saw David Horton cycling by as we departed. I invited him to join us but he said the section was too hard!


OP, happens to everyone. Don't let it get to you. I've had more pleasantries and nice gestures not acknowledged than I can count. But if you take the mindset that you've done your part because you wanted to, and not because you expect anything in return, makes it easier to swallow. You were in my neck of the woods I see...that is one tough loop for sure. You start at 56 or up on the parkway?

[Slumgum]

I agree with Five Tango that groups can be some of the more rude people you might encounter. School orientation groups during the month of August in Vermont are a good example. In the case of a couple, a likely scenario is that they were having a squabble; "in the midst of their own drama" as you said and not in the mood to be friendly with anyone. I think we all have awkward encounters. One of the worst for me was a millennial couple who would show up after dark and enjoyed chatting and cackling in front of the shelter until late at night while everyone else was trying to sleep. They showed no interest in mingling with anyone else. I finally decided to out-hike them so I would not have to deal with their shenanigans.

[T.S.Kobzol]

A few weeks ago I stayed at White Mountains hut. I slept with earplugs so had no problem but at 5 am one group would get up for a hike and talk loud and make all kinds of noise. When confronted by someone their reply was: “what? So we can’t have any fun?”


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[Dogwood]

Be aware of managing your standards of state regardless of the state of others. When we do that we raise others whether it's acknowledged by them or not. Gandhi, MLK, Jesus,...

[KirkMcquest]

I would almost expect that kind of behavior from a young female, but for the man to behave that way is somewhat surprising. Even if I were in the midst of a bad fight with my wife, I would generally return a greeting from a stranger with as much cheer as I can muster.

[ldsailor]

Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.

I've encountered this before. I didn't ask - I told them to move their stuff. Works every time. Of course you get dirty looks when you do that, but I consider the source and smile to myself.

As for the partying, after doing all but 315 miles of the AT, I have become pretty adept at knowing when a shelter or campsite should be avoided. If I was made aware of a large group taking over the shelter, I would have kept going. The next shelter NOBO was less than three miles.

[peakbagger]

When I section hiked I avoided the bubble most of the time and tended to be out of synch from thruhikers usually a few weeks ahead of the bubble or in the fall. On several occasions we would be at a shelter or arrive at a shelter and see generally newby hikers who thought that when they got their the shelter was theirs for themselves. On occasion when they didn't offer to make room we would assist them to make it. On occasion they would say very little or nothing I guess hoping we would go away.

At one shelter in NJ in the early spring we came upon a shelter with two ladies that literally had price tags and stickers still on their gear. One of them was polite but the other one would glare and practically hiss at the polite one if she said anything. They had a brand new whisperlight and it was obvious they had never used it. They tried lighting it several times and eventually the polite one looked over. I asked if they needed some help and got the glare from the other one but pointed out the primer cup from afar and suggested that they prime the stove and explained how to. It worked and they cooked in silence. They disappeared until dark, came back to the shelter, didn't say a word and didn't even move while we cooked breakfast packed up and headed out.

I have gotten similar visitors in the off season and in one or two cases it was obvious they didn't like out company and headed out. I attribute it to newbys but on occasion I also have had thru hikers in Maine who obviously thought it was below them to be social. My general observation over the year observing hikers in Gorham is the first 15% of the thru hikers in town are out for speed/endurance and cant be bothered to socialize, the middle 70% are out to enjoy themselves and the final 15% are so far behind they aren't having fun anymore if they have made it to Gorham.

[perdidochas]

Was at Maupin Field Shelter on Saturday afternoon after finishing a classic Mau-Hard Trail/Appalachian Trail loop. Sitting at the picnic table next to the freshly fallen giant tree, a youngish looking male/female couple came up from Campell Creek. I gave a warm hello to the female hiker, who didn’t answer. Followed just a few steps by her boyfriend or spouse and also offered a hello. No answer. It was downright odd to be given the cold shoulder like that, but raises the question of “Should I have been more insistent”. It’s likely they were having a bad hair day or something. Or they forgot their water filter, or in the midst of their own drama. But wishing they said “Hello” back so I wouldn’t be worried about them two days later.

Ever had an awkward encounter like this?!

Sounds like they were too occupied with their own selves to be polite. Some people are just rude that way.

[Emerson Bigills]

One of the greatest pleasures on trails is the friendliness and general improvement in people that seems to occur in the backcountry. Very few asses, but some people bring the flawed culture of "civilization" to the woods.

You did the right thing. They probably weren't people you wanted to converse with anyway.

[Traffic Jam]

Be aware of managing your standards of state regardless of the state of others. When we do that we raise others whether it's acknowledged by them or not. Gandhi, MLK, Jesus,...
Absolutely. Always do the right thing and try not to be judgmental. NO ONE knows what others are experiencing. Last year, I got news of the death of a loved one while I was on top of Newton Bald. Maybe they didn’t respond but will later remember the warm greeting as a positive.

[HooKooDooKu]

Last year, I got news ... while I was on top of Newton Bald.
I am amazed at the quality of cell coverage in certain areas of GSMNP (thru Verizon).
I was in the Deep Creek area and Newton Bald last week...
4G coverage on Newton Bald and Campsite 51
3G coverage at Campsite 46
1X coverage at Campsite 60

As for the OPs encounter, I don't specifically recall a similar encounter. But agree with others that say there's nothing more the OP should have done (other than quit worrying about it and "move on" 3 seconds after it happened).
It sort of reminds me of Hanlon's razor "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." That razor isn't exactly a perfect fit for this situation, but similar.

[TNhiker]

I am amazed at the quality of cell coverage in certain areas of GSMNP (thru Verizon).
I was in the Deep Creek area and Newton Bald last week...



(sorry for the thread drift)


yeah....

that side of the Park gets better reception than alot of parts..

guessing cause there's more towers over bryson city and all of that area...

and these are from a few years ago so guessing it's even better now-----i've ordered tickets on the banks of the lake right by 76 using internet on phone.........people at 51 streamed a football game around the fire......and lower part of hazel was able to make a phone call.......

[Greenlight]

The snarky alter-ego in me would probably have said, "there are no reservations on the AT shelters in Georgia, and hiker midnight is at 9 p.m. so if you plan on being loud and proud beyond that time, you best get hour $h!t out of here and go build a fire around one of the plenteous outlying campsites. But at the present time, what I need is for you to get your packs off of the picnic table, because it's for picnicking not pack storage. There are pegs in the shelter for your packs, and I'm hungry, so get a move on." If that didn't work, I'd probably pull out my Horner harmonica which I have no idea how to play, but it comes in handy for making people move on.



Well here goes! My first trip to Springer Shelter my hiking partner and I arrived and hung our hammocks a few yards behind the shelter out of everyone's way.All we wanted to do was use the picnic table to heat our dinners.

There was a group of Millenials there,all had the same identical packs which were para military looking and all done in the exact same digital camo.We encountered what was obviously the leader and the first words out of his mouth were ,"How long do you intend to be here?"Then he explained he "had the shelter" as they had a big group coming after my reply that "we will be here until morning".Duh!We had just done the approach trail and I Know they walked up from the parking lot.Oh,and I told him there is no way we would sleep in the shelter anyway.

Needless to say,they did not offer to let us use the table which was covered with their packs after we explained we were just looking for a place to fix our meal.So we sat on a 6 inch diameter log a few feet from the unused "pack holding table" to cook dinner and turn in.

The rest of their group arrived and they partied loud and proud into the wee hours of the morning.
It was all I could do not to go wake that jerk up and tell him we were sorry if we spoiled his party.

The next time I encounter someone like that I do intend to ask to see their title.What title?The title that says they own the place!Shy people I understand,but rude people are deplorable.

[Slo-go'en]

I have to chime in here. If I need to use the picnic table which is full of stuff and obviously currently not being used, I'll sit down, say "how's it going?" Then "mind if I make some room so I can cook" as I start moving stuff around. By that time it's too late and their like, sorry we'll get that out of your way. Some times you just have to elbow your way in, but be nice about it.

[Puddlefish]

I'm only semi-social, about every other night I stealth camp, so I don't have to deal with people at all. I very much like to choose when to socialize, as some days I'm just not feeling it. I also met people who were far less social than I, and I could certainly respect that. I like to think I pick up on cues on which people want to interact and which don't. We all have different reasons for being on the trail, all have different thoughts running through our heads, and have different cultural values. Don't assume your friendliness is the only proper way of behavior.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/05/why-americans-smile-so-much/524967/

[Dogwood]

That's what you get for staying at springer. Lol

I rather enjoy confronting 2-3 camo clad guys who've overdosed on protein bars who say they have the 8 person shelter and supposedly got there ahead of the rest of their party to plant their flag. AT shelters are no one party's private party spot.

[blw2]

so many nuances that we can't know here of course....was there eye contact, etc....
but I agree with others that have posted about them being in a "zone"
In situations like that I try to think of possible explanations to defend the offender.... think of situations where I might be caught doing the similar thing...
being in a zone...maybe they were in the middle of argument and were mentally 1,000 miles away....
or maybe they were deaf and just didn't hear you.

[Dogwood]

It's first come first served on an individual basis.

[imscotty]

I agree with Five Tango that groups can be some of the more rude people you might encounter. School orientation groups during the month of August in Vermont are a good example. .

SlumGum, I will defend the school orientation groups in Vermont. Yes, they hog the shelters at the end of August, but that never bothered me because I wasn't planning on staying in one anyways. Every group I ever encountered has been polite, the leader always invites me to stay with them. Their politeness is a bit studied, I am sure the leaders have been briefed on keeping good relations with the public, but their effort is still appreciated. They always seem to bring ridiculous amounts of food with them that they are willing to share with hungry hikers :)

[Traffic Jam]

so many nuances that we can't know here of course....was there eye contact, etc....
but I agree with others that have posted about them being in a "zone"
In situations like that I try to think of possible explanations to defend the offender.... think of situations where I might be caught doing the similar thing...
being in a zone...maybe they were in the middle of argument and were mentally 1,000 miles away....
or maybe they were deaf and just didn't hear you.

Yeah, you just never know.

[John B]

so many nuances that we can't know here of course....was there eye contact, etc....
but I agree with others that have posted about them being in a "zone"
In situations like that I try to think of possible explanations to defend the offender.... think of situations where I might be caught doing the similar thing...
being in a zone...maybe they were in the middle of argument and were mentally 1,000 miles away....
or maybe they were deaf and just didn't hear you.


Yeah, you just never know.

Or maybe they were rude a**holes.

[MuddyWaters]

Theres no law saying you must talk to creepy strangers.

And some people hike with headphones.


I wouldnt have given it a second thought.

[bighammer]

Prime a gasoline stove right next to their packs. They will move them without asking. ;)

[chknfngrs]

No headphones. Not deaf. Just in their own zone. It was in the moment I felt they were a bit off, and let them waltz off down the trail. To each their own. But even a faint and breathless “hi” would alleviate concern, and not lead me to post in here. Thanks for sharing and playing along!

PS if you see me on the trail and I don’t respond, just say beer, whiskey or chocolate and I’m all ears

[KirkMcquest]

No headphones. Not deaf. Just in their own zone. It was in the moment I felt they were a bit off, and let them waltz off down the trail. To each their own. But even a faint and breathless “hi” would alleviate concern, and not lead me to post in here. Thanks for sharing and playing along!

PS if you see me on the trail and I don’t respond, just say beer, whiskey or chocolate and I’m all ears

Some people are just weird, at 43 you know that already. You met 2 more of them the other day, dont take it personal.

[garlic08]

You never know when your appearance, grooming, clothing, or actions just rub someone the wrong way.

Some smokers can't understand why my wife and I avoid them. We won't be friendly to owners of ill-behaved pets. and they'll never understand why. And that's okay, I don't expect them to and they don't have to change.

I'm sure I, in turn, can be obnoxious to some people and I'll never understand why. I don't expect everyone to greet me pleasantly.

[Slumgum]

SlumGum, I will defend the school orientation groups in Vermont. Yes, they hog the shelters at the end of August, but that never bothered me because I wasn't planning on staying in one anyways. Every group I ever encountered has been polite, the leader always invites me to stay with them. :)

None of the groups hogged the shelters, but, like you, I was not staying in them anyway. However upon ascending a long spine of bare rock on Baker Peak a school group was spread out at the top in the process of "bonding". Gear and people were spread out all over the trail. There was no way around. After an awkward few minutes I interrupted and politely asked if I could pass by. They were more than a little chagrinned and certainly offered no apologies. Oh, and the Harvard group ... they made the most late night racket of any group I encountered on the entire Long Trail. Most groups were fine and I accept their presence as a matter of tradition. But not all of these school groups are immune to the pack mentality that can render otherwise considerate people oblivious to behavior that is offensive to other hikers. I didn't let it ruin my day. But if we are talking about "friendly", I found none of the groups I could apply that adjective to. Good for you that you had a better experience with them.

[TexasBob]

....... Don't assume your friendliness is the only proper way of behavior.
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2017/05/why-americans-smile-so-much/524967/

People in different parts of the country seem to express friendliness in different ways. In Texas people are often openly friendly to strangers but when I lived in Virginia not so much. I went on a car camping trip to Wisconsin last fall and people there were not likely to be openly friendly to strangers and a "Hello" to a stranger was often not returned. Not to say they weren't nice people and I never met an openly rude person, just not the way things are done there. I understood and respected it.

[T.S.Kobzol]

There are universal manners that may not be taught by schools or parents anymore...

Do not talk with you mouth full

When arriving ... give a greeting

When greeted ... give response

When sneezing cover your mouth and say excuse me

When yawning cover your mouth

Say thank you for any favors you receive

Etc etc


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[QuietStorm]

Not sure why but when I started section hiking the AT in 2016 I encountered many more friendly hikers--thru, section, and day--than now. Same in 2017 but for some reason last year I began having encounters similar to the OP. This year so far has been the same, with one or two exceptions. I'm a solo female hiker, so generally I say hi and try to be friendly but without giving too much info about where I'm going, etc. I spent 2018 hiking Virginia down to Springer, but I don't think it's a regional thing. The friendliest hikers I've encountered have been in PA--maybe it's the rocks.

[Tipi Walter]

Was at Maupin Field Shelter on Saturday afternoon after finishing a classic Mau-Hard Trail/Appalachian Trail loop. Sitting at the picnic table next to the freshly fallen giant tree, a youngish looking male/female couple came up from Campell Creek. I gave a warm hello to the female hiker, who didn’t answer. Followed just a few steps by her boyfriend or spouse and also offered a hello. No answer. It was downright odd to be given the cold shoulder like that, but raises the question of “Should I have been more insistent”. It’s likely they were having a bad hair day or something. Or they forgot their water filter, or in the midst of their own drama. But wishing they said “Hello” back so I wouldn’t be worried about them two days later.

Ever had an awkward encounter like this?!

I've had alot of encounters like this. My pet peeve is backpacking on the AT and resting at a shelter to get water etc (before moving on) and watching so-called "expert" thruhikers "Hold Court" whereby an individual thruhiker will make his presence available for anyone wanting to ask questions---but him--himself (or herself) NEVER asking one question from anyone in his "audience". It's comical and possibly infuriating. I call it Holding Court---as in "I will now deign to take your questions."

One time I went along with the madness and asked Our Lordship a simple question---after he went on and on about his expertise---"Have you ever backpacked and camped in the snow?"

He said, "No, never in the snow". Oh okay---so much for the Guru of the Appalachian Trail.

And to the OP---if such behavior bothers you---find areas to go backpacking where your chances of seeing anyone is practically nil. I can give you a long list.

[Uriah]

I've had alot of encounters like this. My pet peeve is backpacking on the AT and resting at a shelter to get water etc (before moving on) and watching so-called "expert" thruhikers "Hold Court" whereby an individual thruhiker will make his presence available for anyone wanting to ask questions---but him--himself (or herself) NEVER asking one question from anyone in his "audience". It's comical and possibly infuriating. I call it Holding Court---as in "I will now deign to take your questions." One time I went along with the madness and asked Our Lordship a simple question---after he went on and on about his expertise---"Have you ever backpacked and camped in the snow?" He said, "No, never in the snow". Oh okay---so much for the Guru of the Appalachian Trail.

We often see those professing expertise falling short; they seem to forget they're human. And just as today's politicians (and those before them) show that it's easy enough to simply conjure up "facts," I've witnessed similar behaviors among the self-professed thru-hiker experts, at the AMC huts and elsewhere.

I always wonder that if Mother Nature or the remorseless clock cannot humble us, something's seriously amiss.

[Uriah]

We often see those professing expertise falling short; they seem to forget they're human. And just as today's politicians (and those before them) show that it's easy enough to simply conjure up "facts," I've witnessed similar behaviors among the self-professed thru-hiker experts, at the AMC huts and elsewhere. I always wonder that if Mother Nature or the remorseless clock cannot humble us, something's seriously amiss.

Still, we can learn from any number of sources, can't we? Someone need not be an expert to teach you something, about yourself or otherwise. As per the OP's experience, I learned long ago to find a nice balance between the social side of these long trails, and the much-needed and appreciated isolation. I never harbored much hope or expectation around shelters.

[Five Tango]

Something tells me that those same two that snubbed Chiknfingers would have been the first to ask for a favor if they needed something though.Likely part of the "me" generation.At the time they didn't need anything so everybody else is simply invisible until such time that they could otherwise be "handy".

[HooKooDooKu]

People in different parts of the country seem to express friendliness in different ways. In Texas people are often openly friendly to strangers but when I lived in Virginia not so much. I went on a car camping trip to Wisconsin last fall and people there were not likely to be openly friendly to strangers and a "Hello" to a stranger was often not returned. Not to say they weren't nice people and I never met an openly rude person, just not the way things are done there. I understood and respected it.
I'm reminded of the scene in the original Crocodile Dundee movie where Dundee tries to say hello to a perfect stranger in New York City as if the two of them lived in a quaint small town where everyone gets to know everyone.

[stephanD]

I'm reminded of the scene in the original Crocodile Dundee movie where Dundee tries to say hello to a perfect stranger in New York City as if the two of them lived in a quaint small town where everyone gets to know everyone.
God forbid you say 'Hello' to a stranger in NYC.

[4eyedbuzzard]

God forbid you say 'Hello' to a stranger in NYC.I've found that it depends who you say hello to. Blue collar and working class people tend to be much more approachable, even in NYC. I'd say 50% respond to a "hey, how ya doin" or "what's up". Three piece suit Wall Street types and uptown high society women, not so much. Part off that is overload though. If you acknowledged everybody you crossed in NYC in a day, you'd be hoarse by noon.

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[stephanD]

I've found that it depends who you say hello to. Blue collar and working class people tend to be much more approachable, even in NYC. I'd say 50% respond to a "hey, how ya doin" or "what's up". Three piece suit Wall Street types and uptown high society women, not so much. Part off that is overload though. If you acknowledged everybody you crossed in NYC in a day, you'd be hoarse by noon.

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Interesting observation. Simple folks are more sociable. Makes me wonder if in the process of becoming the over-educated society we are today, we have lost some of our humanity. And, BTW, i don't mean "simple" in a pejorative way.

[evyck da fleet]

When I hiked the AT I met a girl with social anxiety. She hiked with a guy friend she met but would not have said hi back to you until she felt comfortable around you. I’ve also grow up outside NYC and if a stranger said hello it most likely meant they want something from you. Perhaps they were city folk who smelled you and figured they’d keep going. Overly tired, just got in a fight, enjoying solitude peace and quiet, or maybe they just don’t want to stop and talk to a solo stranger who might talk their ear off.

[KnightErrant]

There are universal manners that may not be taught by schools or parents anymore...
Do not talk with you mouth full
When arriving ... give a greeting
When greeted ... give response
When sneezing cover your mouth and say excuse me
When yawning cover your mouth
Say thank you for any favors you receive
Etc etc
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Those are American manners, but certainly not universal.

I'm from a small, friendly town in the southern U.S. so even though I'm pretty introverted and reserved, my impulse is always to smile, make eye contact, and exchange greetings with strangers. Traveling overseas, I learned that this behavior is pretty alien to many other cultures, and it's a quick way to get yourself in trouble in some places. It felt deeply unnatural for me when I lived in Morocco to learn how to ignore people who greeted me on the street, but if I so much as made eye contact when a stranger said "Hi, where are you from?" to me, he typically assumed he was entitled to follow me straight home into the bedroom, ha! Cultivating an unfriendly exterior was necessary just to exist. And while a crowded street of Casablanca is perhaps an extreme example, I've observed a significant divide in country/city etiquette within most countries I've visited, including here at home.

Not saying the couple that OP encountered were foreign or anything, but just pointing out that a lot of Americans are quick to think we are universal, when the way we do anything is just one of many ways that thing can be done.

I know when I was hiking-- particularly if in pain or in bad weather or just feeling "done" for the day or on the contrary if I was in my sweet spot of happy hike-trance -- I would be pretty oblivious to everything except the trail beneath my feet. I wouldn't deliberately ignore someone who called out to me, but I legitimately might not notice them. But other times, especially when trying to catch up to someone or make it to a certain site before dark, I would deliberately give a (in my mind) polite nod/smile/wave when someone greeted me and not say anything unless they had asked me a specific question, because I had no intentions of stopping.

[T.S.Kobzol]

My son sometimes calls me the most “social antisocial” because I greet people and gladly help out if they have questions but then I withdraw into my cocoon of activities and don’t have to talk to anyone at all. [emoji3]


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[fiddlehead]

Right away my first thoughts on reading the OP was that these people were brought up in either a city, another country, or at least another culture.
I travel a lot around the world and would totally ignore what the OP thought was a problem.
Different strokes for different folks (or something like that)
Russian men almost never say hello. (Their women will usually at least smile at you)
Chinese people don't even see you (I sometimes think) and will congregate in doorways while completely ignoring you. (many of them anyway)

You want friendly people? Go to Tasmania, Slovenia, Sweden
I'm generalizing of course.

This is a non-issue IMO.

[Dogwood]

When we break through veneers cultures thought of as unfriendly can suddenly offer a different persecutive. A few choice words showing appreciation and conscientiousness in a culture's native language can sometimes break the ice. Found this out with the French, Germans, Venezuelans, former Soviets, Danish, Swedes, Czechs, Saudia Arabians, Japanese, etc, Great cultures. When we dont assume other cultures to be like the culture(s) we're accustomed it opens things up. I find many cultures open, when as a U.S. citizen traveling internationally, I don't act with common U.S. cultural Touron behaviors.

[Deadeye]

I'm still trying to picture what the OP meant by being "more insistent". Hello. HELLO. HEY, I SAID HELLO!
They didn't choose to be social. It's not you, it's them. Fuhgetabouddit.

[chknfngrs]

I felt that I could have tried to elicit some response for safety sake... in that ballpark... work for you?


I'm still trying to picture what the OP meant by being "more insistent". Hello. HELLO. HEY, I SAID HELLO!
They didn't choose to be social. It's not you, it's them. Fuhgetabouddit.

[FreeGoldRush]

I felt that I could have tried to elicit some response for safety sake.
What was the safety concern?

[OwenM]

That his feelings would be hurt?

I go to WalMart a couple times per month. About half the time, the greeter at the door doesn't greet anyone, or even acknowledge a "good morning", and that's their JOB!

[Leo L.]

Just back from 6 weeks in the Middle East deserts, I'm very used to the "friendliness" over there.
Everyone greets everybody anytime (well, except for the bigger cities).
Especially in the desert a greeting also involves a short smalltalk, usually made more easy by a cup of tea.
There's good reason behind this: You really want to know whom you're meeting, his next goal, his intent, just for your own safety.
So greeting appears to be sheer friendliness, but is also an essential behavior for everybody's safety.
It doesn't hurt that at the same time everybodys curiosity is filled.

[chknfngrs]

There wasn’t one that I could immediately detect hence the “why so quiet” vibe


What was the safety concern?

[Five Tango]

I notice you stated they were a "youngish" looking couple.I wonder just how "youngish" they were.Could be they are part of the "rather text than talk" generation. Or it could have been they they are naturally snobs.Wife and I went to my nephew's wedding and were impressed by how "unengaging" the bride's family was toward ours.Some people are naturally deficient in social skills (until they want something from you),just sayin'. QUOTE]h[/QUOTE]

[Namaste]

It really doesn't take much effort to acknowledge someone, smile or simple greeting. You just don't know whether you'll end up needing this person later on down the trail for one reason or another. Just be nice.

[Hikingjim]

I've had alot of encounters like this. My pet peeve is backpacking on the AT and resting at a shelter to get water etc (before moving on) and watching so-called "expert" thruhikers "Hold Court" whereby an individual thruhiker will make his presence available for anyone wanting to ask questions---but him--himself (or herself) NEVER asking one question from anyone in his "audience". It's comical and possibly infuriating. I call it Holding Court---as in "I will now deign to take your questions."

One time I went along with the madness and asked Our Lordship a simple question---after he went on and on about his expertise---"Have you ever backpacked and camped in the snow?"

He said, "No, never in the snow". Oh okay---so much for the Guru of the Appalachian Trail.
And to the OP---if such behavior bothers you---find areas to go backpacking where your chances of seeing anyone is practically nil. I can give you a long list.

Interesting how you described that scenario, but I have seen this play out simply because some new hikers ask a lot of questions and like to talk about gear, the trail, etc. If I'm the so called hiker sage at a given moment that they're asking basic questions to, I will answer the series of questions politely, and won't necessarily ask them 5 questions about their legendary snow hikes because I don't necessarily care at the time!

[Tipi Walter]

Interesting how you described that scenario, but I have seen this play out simply because some new hikers ask a lot of questions and like to talk about gear, the trail, etc. If I'm the so called hiker sage at a given moment that they're asking basic questions to, I will answer the series of questions politely, and won't necessarily ask them 5 questions about their legendary snow hikes because I don't necessarily care at the time!

I guess it depends on personality types. I'm a full blown Questioner (not inquisitor)---so I like to turn newbs around from their questions to asking them about their hike and their gear and their motivations. But the types I'm talking about at trail shelters are easily recognizable. John Muir Himself could walk up and they wouldn't ask a single question.

[RockDoc]

Some time back there was an analysis of AT hikers that found a preponderance of introverts. I think it's true. They are not necessarily unfriendly, but social interactions are draining for them. Give them a break. If you come from a big city, you might be more used to extroverts, who thrive on personal interactions. Don't make the mistake of bringing this style into the woods.

[T.S.Kobzol]

Sometimes people get comfortable A few weeks ago we were resting at the end of a hike and saw another group approaching us and were relieved they reached the destination.

I asked: "Great, day, how was Your hike ?"
He: "allright, but I started cramping up half way"
I say: "if you want I have a tablet of NUUN - it helps greatly with craming"
He: "Oh, no, I don't have a colon!" (implying probably that he has overcome some kind of cancer which ended up with remova of colon and thus the use of a colostomy bag)

The conversation died after that :-) lol I did not have a good comeback. :-)

[Puddlefish]

I'd also add that if you're goal is to champion friendliness, it's probably best not to trash entire groups of people who don't perform to your expectations for your convenience. If you're just seeking understanding, that's great, if your intent is to complain that their manners/culture/outlook on life is wrong, because it's not yours, then that's just a wee bit authoritarian complaining.

[perdidochas]

Interesting observation. Simple folks are more sociable. Makes me wonder if in the process of becoming the over-educated society we are today, we have lost some of our humanity. And, BTW, i don't mean "simple" in a pejorative way.

I live in the South. I don't see that here. Most of us are sociable.

[stephanD]

I live in the South. I don't see that here. Most of us are sociable.
People are more pleasant in the south. I agree. It is probably the weather...

[jackwagon]

Everybody loves HYOH when it applies to them, but not as many are fond of it when it needs to apply to others.

Your hike may not be the same as their hike. Your norms may not be their norms. There's room for diversity.

Unless what someone does impedes your ability to reasonable activities as a hiker/human, don't let it worry you.

[RuthN]

I grew up in the NYC metro area and lived in the northeast my whole life until moving to Houston 15 years ago. When I arrived here, I was taken aback by strangers saying hello to me. New Jersey (my home state) is the most densely populated state in the country and NYC is the highest population city. It's a stressful environment and the culture reflects it. I wonder if an extended period of time on trail might make people more inclined to be friendly to strangers. I hope so.

[Lone Wolf]

huh? coupla folks didn't acknowledge you in the woods and you're butthurt? much ado over nothin'

[Traffic Jam]

huh? coupla folks didn't acknowledge you in the woods and you're butthurt? much ado over nothin'
.........:)

[W8lkinUSA]

TLDR;
They may have had an argument and didn't want to socialize..

[GaryM]

I have difficulty hearing. Quite often I either don't hear when people speak to me or I have such a hard understanding their words I just smile and move on. Many think I am standoffish or just not friendly. That is not true at all. I just can't hear and it gets tiresome and embarrassing to keep repeating "What?" "Say again" or whatever. Oh, as bad as it is in the great outdoors trying to understand someone else in a noisy room is a lost cause.
Apparently I had a woman yelling at me on a Miami sidewalk once, really getting into it. My friend saw what was happening and told her "he is deaf" (which is basically true in those situations). To her credit I think she had no idea and looked a bit sheepish afterwards.
You aren't always being ignored, sometimes people just can't/don't hear you.

[4eyedbuzzard]

3000+ people viewed this thread.
Only 46 people (unique users) responded.
I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about such stuff.

[MuddyWaters]

3000+ people viewed this thread.
Only 46 people (unique users) responded.
I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about such stuff.

More likely 100 people viewed it 30 x each as they followed responses.
Or even less people....

[Five Tango]

I would like to mention that the Overwhelming majority of the people I have met on trail have ranged from polite to mostly friendly.That's what one could reasonably expect I would think as one could conclude that other people out in the woods with a backpack likely have something in common.

[Old Grouse]

There's always a lot of well deserved talk about the Type A lifestyle here in the Northeast. But it isn't necessarily constant or universal, even here. There's often a circumstantial component. For instance, chances are that the same man who will ignore you while charging off the commuter train on a week night will give you a cheery greeting on Sunday morning, walking out of the market with his NY Times and bagels.

[Puddlefish]

There's always a lot of well deserved talk about the Type A lifestyle here in the Northeast. But it isn't necessarily constant or universal, even here. There's often a circumstantial component. For instance, chances are that the same man who will ignore you while charging off the commuter train on a week night will give you a cheery greeting on Sunday morning, walking out of the market with his NY Times and bagels.

There's a famous southern hostel owner, who's big and expressive and makes a whole speech about welcoming everyone to his town, and how he wants to be the best host ever.

I, from the north, perceived him as being a sleazy politician type, and felt his words didn't match up to the reality of his hostel, and felt like his free outfitter shuttle was more of an opportunity to get kickbacks from the crappy outfitter across town, instead of the great outfitter within walking distance of the hostel.

My hiking buddy, from the south, just thought this guy was the nicest polite young man ever. I suspect the truth was somewhere in the middle.

Likewise, on the trail, I've had really shallow initially friendly encounters with southerners who want nothing to do with you after the initial greeting... and a deep conversation with a former heroin addict from Brooklyn after an uninspiring initial greeting.

So yep, it's best to just view each encounter based on the circumstances, and not expect all things from all people at all times.

[bighammer]

Things are different. As a teenager, I rode my bicycle everywhere. I rode on my own and took weekend rides with a local club. Back then, passing any bicyclist going the other way would generate an exchange of greetings. Didn't matter if it were a serious racer type or casual rider, everyone was friendly to each other. :welcome


Fast forward 40 or so years, and my experience is that a friendly hello or wave will more often than not, go completely ignored. :confused:

[greenmtnboy]

I have to work on this; have always tried to be real to others and genuine not affected; as a result I can come across as not that friendly.

[MtDoraDave]

To the OP, are you scary looking?

I haven't seen anyone else ask this question, but it's a possibility that if you are bearded or tatted up, carrying a big knife or a gun, or some other look that a young couple isn't used to seeing, maybe they we're just wary.
Shrug.
Guess we'll never know what their reason was, but generally people are friendly, or at least sociable.

.

[l0ngterm]

huh? coupla folks didn't acknowledge you in the woods and you're butthurt? much ado over nothin'
There you go again Lone Wolf with the common sense.

[orthofingers]

We are lucky enough to have a small place on Block Island, Rhode Island which is a summer tourist destination 13 miles off the Rhode Island coast. There are a lot of tourists there from the New York metropolitan area (NY, NJ and south western Ct.) and since many/most don't bring a car, there are a lot of folks walking on the roads and sidewalks. I love to say hi to people walking towards me when they are still in their "Manhattan" mode. They are often startled then slightly embarrassed as they may mutter a quick "hi". Sometimes they say nothing but I still have fun playing the game.

[Daniel-J]

Maybe they have a different culture or a really bad mood. Remember these strange Russians, if you are not familiar and try to greet them, then they will probably think that you are out of your mind.

[Leo L.]

In the small town I'm living, alpine setting and pretty touristic all around, its a social game everybody is playing: Locals are greeting each other (even ones who don't know personally), tourists just look through you.
Its the way how we try to tell apart tourists from locals: By the fact if they're greeting back, and by tiny differences how they would spell the words.

[Five Tango]

I was a child 60 years ago.In the sleepy southern county where I was raised there was very little traffic back then.
It was considered RUDE to meet a car and not wave at the other driver.No,you can't make this up.........

[Traffic Jam]

I’ve learned first hand that being too friendly is often misinterpreted. My most recent BP trip was a reminder to stay to myself and not be too social.

[Sarcasm the elf]

I’ve learned first hand that being too friendly is often misinterpreted. My most recent BP trip was a reminder to stay to myself and not be too social.

Were you tourist in Colorado who had SAR called on them because people they were waving for help when really they were just being friendly? :D

[Traffic Jam]

Were you tourist in Colorado who had SAR called on them because people they were waving for help when really they were just being friendly? :D
Oh my!

Last week I had the crazy urge to blow the titanium whistle that I wear when hiking but thought better of it...you never know. :)

[Leo L.]

Waving hands to greet, but getting misinterpreted as asking for help, happened to my wife in Mongolia.
Different culture.

[Traveler]

I wonder how many people are incensed or horribly offended by those not responding to this thread.

[Slow Trek]

May as well throw this in..In Iowa,when you meet a vehicle on a country road(and we have lots of them),it is common to see the "finger wave". That occurs when the driver raises the index finger of the hand holding the steering wheel as you approach one another. Of course,you respond with a wave,or raise or index finger.Anyone who does not raise a finger either did not grow up here,or is too young to know...

[Tipi Walter]

May as well throw this in..In Iowa,when you meet a vehicle on a country road(and we have lots of them),it is common to see the "finger wave". That occurs when the driver raises the index finger of the hand holding the steering wheel as you approach one another. Of course,you respond with a wave,or raise or index finger.Anyone who does not raise a finger either did not grow up here,or is too young to know...

Just make sure it's not the middle finger.

[Slow Trek]

That middle finger wave would give the old guys hanging out at the convenience store something to talk about for weeks....

[Nanashi]

Well here goes! My first trip to Springer Shelter my hiking partner and I arrived and hung our hammocks a few yards behind the shelter out of everyone's way.All we wanted to do was use the picnic table to heat our dinners.

There was a group of Millenials there

What's their generation have to do with it? Anyone can be a jerk.

[Five Tango]

What's their generation have to do with it? Anyone can be a jerk.

It matters because I am at least 40 years his senior and the first words out of his mouth were rude.My generation was taught to respect their elders.When you get older,you might understand.

[Jayne]

May as well throw this in..In Iowa,when you meet a vehicle on a country road(and we have lots of them),it is common to see the "finger wave". That occurs when the driver raises the index finger of the hand holding the steering wheel as you approach one another. Of course,you respond with a wave,or raise or index finger.Anyone who does not raise a finger either did not grow up here,or is too young to know...

You do the raised finger "howdy" in Texas too (as long as you aren't in a city.) My first thought was that they were from a big city where it's just considered very weird to say hi to a stranger unless you're hustling them for something. It happens - their loss. If it strikes me as really off I may ask them (pretty loudly) "Are you OK, everything alright" and do a little thumbs up/down gesture to make sure that they're not in any distress. I've never had anyone ignore that.