View Full Version : Husband needs advice/help
SouthMark
03-23-2006, 13:37
My wife says that her only objection to backpacking is lack of comfortable facilities to bath, freshen up, etc. She doesn't mind carrying a pack, the walking or the sleeping on the ground. Is there any equipment and are there any techniques that I can employ to overcome these drawbacks on the trail for her?
Thanks in advance ladies.
Spirit Walker
03-23-2006, 16:00
We carry a two gallon REI waterbag (plastic bladder inside a nylon bag). It saves trips back and forth from campsite to water source, but it also makes a nice shower. You can hang it from a tree, well away from the water source, and get cleaned up quite nicely. There are similar bags with attachments to make a 'real' shower - but I find that a few drops of biodegradable soap if I'm really dirty and a bandana works fine with the water bag. Many hikers use baby wipes - which are nice, but heavy. I've even known hikers who heat water in a pot to wash their hair - but that level of cleanliness is rare.
Just Jeff
03-23-2006, 16:05
I'm in the same boat as you - she's agreed to go camping with me, but multi-day hikes are still an issue because she doesn't want to be without her facilities. But then, she doesn't even drink any water from the bathroom because "it's nasty." She'll brush her teeth with it, but won't swallow it unless it comes from the kitchen! Maybe I have a bit more of a challenge than you... :D
Eagerly awaiting the women's replies...
Hey,
It isn't just a woman's issue. My husband has no problem hiking, wearing a pack, sleeping on the ground. He just has an aversion to doing his business in the woods. Can't conceive it. Won't do it! End of story. Hiking by myself. Oh, well.
The baby wipes are good, as is a thorough explanation and understanding of a water purifier. There are very lightweight sarongs that can be used as a portable tent in the absence of a regular tent for privacy. Try a weekend trip and work up after the kinks are worked out.
Good luck!
txulrich
03-23-2006, 16:40
I'm in the same boat as you - she's agreed to go camping with me, but multi-day hikes are still an issue because she doesn't want to be without her facilities. But then, she doesn't even drink any water from the bathroom because "it's nasty." She'll brush her teeth with it, but won't swallow it unless it comes from the kitchen! Maybe I have a bit more of a challenge than you... :D
Eagerly awaiting the women's replies...
Jeff,
My wife will go camping with me, but Camp Marriott is roughing it for her. I don't think I could carry enough extension cord to plug her curling iron in. :p
Just Jeff
03-23-2006, 16:43
Haha - that's what my wife says, too. She likes day hiking, but car camping is really pushing it. She says an RV would make things better. I said, "If you can drive there, you're not really camping." She replied, "Take it or leave it." So we're taking baby steps.
waterless sanitizing gels or foams...see if that works.
Cold Camp
03-23-2006, 17:05
My wife is as feminine as they get and so I was subconsciously "protecting" her by never suggesting she go with me. When I got back from the AT last October and regailed her with my stories, I was surprised to see just how much she wanted to go, and she is.... in two weeks. Truth be told, she's much tougher than I am in every other way and so I expect this doll to handle the grime better than I usually do. It wouldn't surprise me if this isn't fundamentally true of all women hikers - tell her that.
Cold Camp
Blissful
03-23-2006, 21:29
I always feel cleaner if I can wash my hair - so I hope to do that at least inbetween showers. There are bath-type wipes you can get if you want to carry the weight for further cleaning. But showers seems to be only a few days apart on the trail at hostels and motels. Honestly, everyone is grungy and stinky on the trail. It's part of the trail experience, carrying trail dirt and the odiferous markings of true "exercise" with you. No one cares. Now I do care if I am back in civilization and some town person has to smell me. That's why I still plan on carrying my mini deodorant and making sure I have some town clothes. :)
sdoownek
03-23-2006, 23:05
she doesn't even drink any water from the bathroom because "it's nasty." She'll brush her teeth with it, but won't swallow it unless it comes from the kitchen!
Huh? Is this a joke that I don't get? As stated, it doesn't make sense to me. What am I missing?
Just Jeff
03-24-2006, 03:32
Not a joke - she won't drink the water in the bathroom. No idea why she'll brush her teeth with it but won't drink it, but that's the way things are.
But as long as she'll go camping with me, I don't care what she does in the bathroom!
sdoownek
03-24-2006, 04:19
You've gotta be kidding me. Have you explained to this (totally illogical) person that her aversion is a completely emotional response that's based in, eh, well, based in nothing?
The f'ing water comes from the same source. It travels thru the same pipes. ***.
Just Jeff
03-24-2006, 05:10
Different strokes for different folks, man - I don't lose sleep over how logical she is about bathroom water. (Though her father and I tease her about it...and she laughs, admitting it doesn't make sense.)
Back on topic now?
RITBlake
03-24-2006, 05:12
You've gotta be kidding me. Have you explained to this (totally illogical) person that her aversion is a completely emotional response that's based in, eh, well, based in nothing?
The f'ing water comes from the same source. It travels thru the same pipes. ***.
easy there champ, that's someones wife/gf you're talking about. Relax killer.
sdoownek
03-24-2006, 05:25
I'm oft accused of being "too logical" In this case? Yeah, evidently so. Anyhow, yes, back on topic, in the forum that I really shouldn't be posting in in the first place. Sorry.
Back on topic...
To start off with, she might be okay if you have a reasonably large tent that she can sit up in and move around comfortably, so she can do her thing in privacy. If she doesn't like the idea of using a large container of water out in the open for bathing (as Spirit Walker has suggested), she might be okay with sponge bathing inside a tent. A decent-sized pack towel and a good supply of various commercial cleansing cloths might do the trick. You may also want to plan your initial outings to places with privies. I think keeping the initial outings short (one night, low mileage) will keep the dirt problem down to a manageable level as she increases her tolerance for it.
Writing on behalf of my wife, she was arguably the cleanest 2005 SOBO. Well, the cleanest I ever saw....
She carried Dr. Bronners and washed off every night with a designated bandana when there wasn't a lake/river/stream/etc. around to bathe in. Although rare when others were around, I would stand on point while she washed and changed. There are plenty of places to wash off in private, you're in the woods you know:-)
If it was a going to be a dry and windy night, she would rinse her hiking clothes with water and hang them to dry. Once in her clean camp clothes, she would then apply deodorant and drift off to sleep like a lil' angel. Well, most of the time...haha.
However, even with all the cleaning techniques in the world, you still have to accept the fact that you're going to get dirty. The above techniques/practices are merely preventive maintenance until you get to the next town. And so you don't vomit when you get a whiff of your b.o.
Just Jeff, I can't help you on the water dilemma. Mountain streams and natural springs are pretty tasty if you ask me...Sounds like you have to do a little more convincing:-)
Hope this helped.
My wife says that her only objection to backpacking is lack of comfortable facilities to bath, freshen up, etc. She doesn't mind carrying a pack, the walking or the sleeping on the ground. Is there any equipment and are there any techniques that I can employ to overcome these drawbacks on the trail for her?Thanks in advance ladies.
Sounds like we're married to the same woman...hehehehehehe!
seriously,...take plenty o' WET-WIPES...& water...
maybe take her on a "weekender hike" to get her used to the idea of going without the shower or walls on the bathroom facilities!
good luck w/ yer hike!:D
One thing I keep telling my husband is that for just about every thing he doesn't like on the trail, there is a solution; he just needs to articulate clearly what the problem is. And over time he's learned how to do that and we've been able to come up with a solution for everything so far. This has helped him to realize that there is no "it's just the way it is" element to backpacking -- you hike your own hike, do what's right for you.
Regarding cleanliness, if I'm out for more than one night, I bring a small bar of all natural soap (which is also what I use at home because I'm just like that) and a camp towel and give myself a mini shower using a water bottle with a squirt top. I don't wash my hair because it takes a while for it to get noticeably greasy, and it's so long that washing it in the backcountry would require more water than I'm willing to hassle with. If your wife's hair is short, cleaning it would be easier. Anyway, if it's cleanliness your wife is craving, I think my system works pretty well -- soap and water gets you so much cleaner than wipes.
However, I wasn't really clear on whether it was the filth or the lack of privacy your wife was having issues with. If it's the former, there are a number of solutions for getting clean. If it's the latter, you could consider ways to avoid camping around other people. In the thick of thru-hiker season in the south, this may at times be difficult, though not impossible (my husband and I had the shelter on the AT approach trail just before Springer Mtn all to ourselves last weekend, and usually you can find a tent site away from the shelters to have to yourselves). At other times of year, privacy is much easier to come by. Or, if your wife likes sleeping near other people, you just have to walk further away to shower, and you could consider hanging your groundcloth, sleeping bag liner, even your sleeping bags or whatever else you're carrying to provide a bit of a shield and create something like bathroom walls. I don't know, I don't have much modesty, so I haven't thought too hard about this one -- a couple times I've just gone behind the privy for a quick rinse off :).
she doesn't even drink any water from the bathroom because "it's nasty." She'll brush her teeth with it, but won't swallow it unless it comes from the kitchen!
Huh? Is this a joke that I don't get? As stated, it doesn't make sense to me. What am I missing?
No this is not a joke for my wife either. She is the same way. I remember when our kitchen sink broke once and I told we could wash the dishes in the sink or the tube. She would have nothing to do with that.
The longest I have gotten my wife to go on a backpacking trip was a three day weekend. I don't think I could get her to go any longer then that. She needs to wash and get herself cleaned up.
Washing yourself off in the woods is pretty easy. It's your clothes that get nasty and stay nasty, and you can't really carry fresh clothing for each day. Quick drying clothing that you can wash out with some dr. Bronners and drying tricks like putting them under your sleeping bag overnight on cold or wet nights are key, in my opinion. There are the aforementioned shower-bags, but I just wash with a rag, soap and some water from my bottles, and a dip in a swimming hole if one is available....got to be tolerant of ccccold, though.
SouthMark
03-24-2006, 15:35
Thanks everyone for your helpful insights and advice. I should add that she made two overnighters with me 20 years ago and actually enjoyed them but we all change with age and she is probably afraid that st her age she will just be too uncomfortable to enjoy herself and I do not want her to go if she really does not want to go. I will discuss some of these ideas with her and who knows she may change her mind and try it. Again many thanks.
I had to laugh about the water thing. Why? Because I am exactly like that! It makes no sense, I know ... but I will NOT drink out of the bathroom sink. To me most bathrooms are not clean enough. Then again, my butt hasn't touched a public bathroom toilet seat since I was a kid either. Yeah, yeah...I know ;)
Anyhoo, as for making her comfy..well..it is like with my man, I make sure there is a privy in every camp, and that I bring tons of TP with me (and I am a female). I know for me carrying cotton undies and clean cottpon socks for bed is a comfort item. I change into them in the tent, doing cleanup and whatnot. It is worth the weight. I also carry a couple pairs of undergarments, so I can wash them and have some to wear.
You might look into all the items that minimus.biz carries-you can get the no water hair shampoo from them :) And maybe get some Olay facial washes (the toss kind) and mini deodrants, and unscented baby wipes (Huggies brand).
Mostly though..I would go on overnighters first to see if she is comfy :)
SouthMark
03-26-2006, 11:37
Once again thanks for the help but I just cannot resist responding to all of those afraid of sitting on public toilet seats. "Research has shown that humans have more germs on their faces than on their butts."
Once again thanks for the help but I just cannot resist responding to all of those afraid of sitting on public toilet seats. "Research has shown that humans have more germs on their faces than on their butts."
Yeah, but I don't go around touching random people's faces, either.
Yeah, but I don't go around touching random people's faces, either.
Noooo kidding!
And How about communal toilets? Men cannot seem to ever make it. Or people who miss while doing god knows whatever and it is the only toilet ifor 10 miles around. Blech.
Sure, I KNOW I am OCD about it...but I prefer not to sit in other people's #1 & 2 if I can help it.
Sassafras
03-28-2006, 09:09
Clean up in camp can be easy. Buy dove wipes or lever wipes and prior to your trip open the package and let them air dry so they will be lighter in weight. Wet them at camp and clean up!
Tucks pads (for hemorrhoids) are nothing but little cotton pads soaked in witch hazel. They are excellent for the feet, extra grimy face, or the nether regions and come in individual packages. If you don't want the packaging waste you can stuff about twenty of them into one film canister.
Burts bees makes a great all natural shampoo bar. The biodegradable soap works well too. There is also some waterless (powdered that you comb through your hair) shampoo powder out there somewhere.
If you have a nice rest day in a sunny spot with plenty of water, fill a hefty yard bag with water, let it sit in the sun warming up for as long as you can and crawl in for a nice warm bath.
I always take an extra sil nylon tarp and a lightweight clothesline. I string the line between two trees, drape the tarp over and instant privacy.
I generally swim with all my clothes on from the day (when it's warm enough) to give them a nice rinse out before the next days hike.
One thing to remember: You don't smell anyone else when you smell too. It's once you are clean that everyone else reeks. ;)