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jlb2012
09-14-2006, 13:08
There is a surprising lack of good definition about what the rules are for fart baseball so I thought I would add a few quotes found on various sites about the rules for fart baseball:


Ok first, Hikers fart allot!!
on my thru-hike of the appalachian trail, me n my buds would play fart baseball while in camp...

here are the rules
one person farts, the other person playing has to hear the fart... they have 5 seconds to fart themselves to throw them out..

the person who didnt fart the base hit votes on what it was(we try to be honest)... single, double, tripple, HR, out,
a regular fart is a single..
a looong nasty fart(5+seconds) is a double..
a long nasty fart that changes in octives is a tripple...
10+ second fart changing in octives is a Homerun
20+ seconds is a grandslam

just getting a double is very hard...

when you goto throw someone out... be carefull... its a dangerous play... if you mess your shorts, you loose the game... we call it a rain-out

if you fart a SBD, and someone smells it, you get a stolen
base

Min 1 min must be waited between hits to prevent the babe ruths from tooting out a machinegun volley of base hits


trail games... The first great game I played in 2000 was Fart Baseball...

well here's tghe original post about it....

"I was tired by the time I got to the shelter. But there was a lively group there which kicked me into party mode. Seven of us ended up playing Fart Baseball for 3 hours. For those of you looking for nature related stuff skip to my next entry. Fart baseball is a game best played after a chili dinner. Each time you fart you get a single. If you burp-that's a foul. If someone else farts within 5 seconds of your fart-it's an out. If someone expresses disgust it's a double. The group playing included Eagle Eye, Grizzly (who thru hiked in '99), Fireball (who hiked 900 miles in '99), myself and 2 other thru-hikers (sorry didn't get their names). I realize it sounds disgusting but out here it's entertainment. We cracked jokes and partied for awhile."

oh yeah that sounds disgusting but we had fun and laughed far into the dark hours...


Rules to Fart Baseball:

1 fart : 1st base
2 farts: 2nd base
3 farts: 3rd base
4 farts: run
5 farts: 2 runs, etc.
If another person farts, they are on 1st and you are out. The most number of runs wins.


"Fart Baseball"

Ok...you need to learn this GAME!! It is discusting, but farting is so fun in the mountains. On my last backpacking voyage, we made up this game. Not hard to play when you eat nothing but dehydrated carbs and squeeze cheese for 12 days straight! Plus, we were so far from civilization that we only showered twice in the 12 days.

Ok, rules: Fart ONCE you get on base, TWICE on second, THIRD time on third and FOUR farts gets you a run. Simple. There is more. If at any time someone else farts while you are on base, you get knocked off and this person is now on first base. Only one person on base at a time. This makes it a challenge, turning your loud bomb of a fart into 4 smaller squeakers. The last rule. If you SHART, [shjt + fart] that is an automatic grand slam. Quick way to get 4 runs in before your competitors. At the end of the day you decide who is the winner.

We actually kept track of this for 12 days and the winner actually had 79 runs!!! GROSS!!! Well, there you have it, let's spread this game around the world!!!

bfitz
09-14-2006, 13:23
Wow, complicated.

Pacific Tortuga
09-14-2006, 13:52
I thought it was all about the kicking game in football, THE HANG TIME :eek: I'm wrong again. :o

Michele
09-14-2006, 14:06
I'd lose...seems like only people I know that can fart at will are my guy friends.

D'Artagnan
09-14-2006, 14:22
That's hilarious! I'd never heard of this but I'll definitely be introducing my buds to the game soon. Thanks HOI! :D

Footslogger
09-14-2006, 15:12
Had seats behind home plate for several games of FB during my thru in 2003.

Noticed that most folks made up the rules as they went a long. Not many disputed calls though.

Ah ...the memories !!

'Slogger

Micky
09-14-2006, 15:32
All I want to know is, who's the cleanup batter. Talk about a ****ty position.:-?

Creek Dancer
09-14-2006, 15:33
All I want to know is, who's the cleanup batter. Talk about a ****ty position.:-?

I dunno Micky. It's a crap shoot.:eek:

Heater
09-14-2006, 15:39
All I want to know is, who's the cleanup batter. Talk about a ****ty position.:-?

and how far away from the campsite is the dugout. :D

If you cut it off in the mid-fart is that a pinch hitter? :banana

Footslogger
09-14-2006, 15:54
All I want to know is, who's the cleanup batter. Talk about a ****ty position.:-?
=======================================

Can't help you there but after a few weeks on the trail it's pretty easy to spot the designated hitter.

'Slogger

Footslogger
09-14-2006, 15:55
[quote=Austexs]If you cut it off in the mid-fart is that a pinch hitter?

==================================

Flatus Interuptus ...

'Slogger

the goat
09-14-2006, 16:26
sounds to me like every hit goes foul.

Alligator
09-14-2006, 16:33
sounds to me like every hit goes foul.I'm not a big sports buff, foul balls don't count?

Footslogger
09-14-2006, 16:33
sounds to me like every hit goes foul.
====================================

...and a "swing-and-a-miss" is an SBD (or vice versa)

'Slogger

sherrill
09-14-2006, 16:40
A "squeeze play" could be interesting, but it could possibly turn into a rain out.

D'Artagnan
09-14-2006, 16:43
Would farting in your sleeping bag be considered playing in an indoor stadium?

Cuffs
09-14-2006, 16:51
Had seats behind home plate for several games of FB during my thru in 2003.
'Slogger

I think that Id want to be the lead off batter instead of "behind" home plate!! There'd be more fresh air up there!

Heater
09-14-2006, 17:00
The World series of Fart Baseball will be held in Terlingua Texas.

Visit our website for more information.

http://www.chili.org/terlingua.html

Footslogger
09-14-2006, 17:06
A "squeeze play" could be interesting, but it could possibly turn into a rain out.
================================

In fart baseball parlance that is commonly known as a SHART ...

'Slogger

jlb2012
09-14-2006, 17:07
The World series of Fart Baseball will be held in Terlingua Texas.

Visit our website for more information.

http://www.chili.org/terlingua.html


How can this be - Real Chili (tm) does NOT have beans.

Heater
09-14-2006, 18:04
How can this be - Real Chili (tm) does NOT have beans.

Probably be a no-hitter. :D

sherrill
09-15-2006, 12:51
:) Would really be impressive if hikers could do the play by play to the baseball sequence in "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights".

Footslogger
09-15-2006, 13:00
:) Would really be impressive if hikers could do the play by play to the baseball sequence in "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights".
===================================

...or just even bang out a couple verses of "Yankee Doodle" !!

...better yet, how about "Take Me Out To the Ball Game"

'Slogger

jlb2012
09-15-2006, 14:06
hummm - I bet a minor adaptation of a set of bag pipes could do it

Crazy Larry #1
09-15-2006, 14:11
Ever play fart tennis?

2 people- 1 serves, 1 returns. etc.

how about switchback farting up a mountain, i did that plenty of times with someone behind me, gets their attention i tell ya.........

freefall
09-16-2006, 01:22
how about switchback farting up a mountain, i did that plenty of times with someone behind me, gets their attention i tell ya.........
We had a guy that would do this constantly. At first we made him start warning us "fire in the hole..." but then we finally made him hike at the end of the line.

Smile
09-16-2006, 08:59
I'm a little behind on reading posts this morning, but saw this thread and couldn't help being nosy, do I smell a WB League starting? If you do start one, the board would be a great place to release this information. Has anyone sniffed out the possibilities, I don't think it would stain anybody's reputation to be a fart, I mean part of it.

It might offer a place to clear the air after so much hot air is expelled in the political and other heated posts. We could squeeze some time out for a game at the next gathering.
:)

Crazy Larry #1
09-16-2006, 09:21
You know I really think we ought to have a game at the gathering............but we should first check with jack to make sure the rules are politically correct before we attempt to have the game.........

MOWGLI
09-16-2006, 09:35
What is it if you crap your pants while playing? An "error"? :eek:

I have never played this game, but Backdraft (2000) got his trail name while playing fart baseball.

Footslogger
09-16-2006, 09:42
[quote=MOWGLI16]What is it if you crap your pants while playing? An "error"? :eek:
=====================================

I think it's a "Swing and a Mess"

'Slogger

Heater
09-16-2006, 10:21
I'm a little behind on reading posts this morning, but saw this thread and couldn't help being nosy, do I smell a WB League starting? If you do start one, the board would be a great place to release this information. Has anyone sniffed out the possibilities, I don't think it would stain anybody's reputation to be a fart, I mean part of it.

It might offer a place to clear the air after so much hot air is expelled in the political and other heated posts. We could squeeze some time out for a game at the next gathering.
:)

A Fantasy Fart Baseball League? Interseting concept!

Everyone eats massive amounts of pasta and beans before a real game on TV but can only fart according to the rules of the game. Last one to blow up, wins! :D

dixicritter
09-16-2006, 11:48
LMAO.... I think I have a junior player in the making.

HOI don't be teaching this game to Creek Hopper. ;)

MOWGLI
09-16-2006, 11:49
A Fantasy Fart Baseball League? Interseting concept!



Based upon my recent performance on the John Muir Trail - I am a definite first round "draft" pick. :rolleyes:

Tin Man
09-16-2006, 22:31
Well, now that I have shared this thread with my brother, I fear our upcoming section hike will take on a new aire. :rolleyes:

mweinstone
09-16-2006, 22:41
do you know guys who swallow air and then burp those artificial burps? well,.. is there a guy who can pack up with air and fart artificial farts? cause some of those guys go on for hours!

Smile
09-17-2006, 06:17
According to the dumpire, I believe that artificial fart sounds, or electronic devices that create farts are illegal, at least in the majors - butt perhaps in whiffleball they blow past this rule.

Tin Man
09-17-2006, 06:52
do you know guys who swallow air and then burp those artificial burps? well,.. is there a guy who can pack up with air and fart artificial farts? cause some of those guys go on for hours!

That might be considered the equivalent of steroids - highly controversial. I would put an asterisk next to any records they set.

The Old Fhart
09-17-2006, 07:45
As if my trail name alone isn't enough to make you "foul" out, I have gathered together a fart baseball team built around the Great 19th Century Fartiste, Joseph Pujol, (Le Petomane (http://www.ooze.com/ooze13/petomane.html)) and I suggest that all other teams concede now!:D

Smile
09-17-2006, 09:00
Names?

White Blaze Whiffs?

Applachian Trail SBD's

Forest Foulers

Shelter Squeezers

Green Gassers

Pacific Crest Pinchers

Appalachian Aire

Backpack Blasters

F3 (Forest Fantasy Farters)

Shenandoah Shooters (Sharters?)

Duncannon Drafters

Palmerton Poppers

Katahdin Kreakers

Springside Squeakers

Reeking Roughikers

Help me out here, I'm running out....ok, this morning I have WAY too much time on my hands....

Pacific Tortuga
09-17-2006, 12:53
Airs Clear De Mask Us, might be one ?

Smile
09-17-2006, 20:28
Hee hee. That's a good one! I'm not good with this type of humor, but having fun nonetheless, good play on words PTortuga ;)

Cuffs
09-18-2006, 15:45
Ok, now... passing gas after dark... is that a "night game?"

What about double headers?

Divisions: Thrus and Sectioners?

Where are playoff games to be held?

And then of course, there's World Series!!!

Heater
09-18-2006, 16:42
Hee hee. That's a good one! I'm not good with this type of humor, but having fun nonetheless, good play on words PTortuga ;)

My team would be the Northbound PU Hikers. :D

Smile
09-18-2006, 22:36
Like it! Now we need sponsors!

Nightwalker
05-07-2007, 05:35
Stick a kazoo up your wazoo and make it a fart symphony. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Actually, I do make a lot more gas on the trail than at home. Probably all that pepperoni and sharp cheddar. Whee-oo!

jrwiesz
05-07-2007, 10:08
Stick a kazoo up your wazoo and make it a fart symphony. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Actually, I do make a lot more gas on the trail than at home. Probably all that pepperoni and sharp cheddar. Whee-oo!

Get a second one for ones' mouth; just don't get them mixed-up!:eek:

spittinpigeon
05-07-2007, 13:11
do you know guys who swallow air and then burp those artificial burps? well,.. is there a guy who can pack up with air and fart artificial farts? cause some of those guys go on for hours!

When I was younger, a friend and I were conversing with a guy while we were fishing. This man claimed to be able to suck air into his cornhole, and reproduce it as a fart. When we asked him to do it, he said 'his sensei doesn't let him practice the art outside of the dojo'.
He's a hack, and to this day I've never met anyone with that skill.

jlb2012
10-20-2007, 16:31
Since someone stuck me with the job of being the commissioner of Fart Baseball I thought it would be a good time to try to regularize the rules to the game.

Submitted for public review:


The Rules for Fart Baseball

#1 - whoever farts first gets to say "First Base"

#2 - whoever farts next gets to say "You are Out! I'm on first base." unless it is the same person who farted first in which case the person says "Second Base" and so on

#3 - a person needs to fart and announce it 4 times without another person farting before reaching “Home Base” and scoring a "RUN"

#4 - farts don't count if the prior fart by the same person is occurred less than 15 seconds previously

#5 – a fart that does not get announced in 5 seconds can be claimed by another person who says “first base” or whatever base is appropriate – this is called a “stolen base”

#6 - everyone plays on their own team

#7 - there is no set number of innings

#8 – a shart causes the player to be tossed out of the game until the person is done cleaning up the crap

#9 – silent but deadly (SBD) farts only count if they are perceived within 5 seconds – this is generally only possible if the person lights the fart – best done at night so the flames can be seen – this can be dangerous in time of drought so if there is a fire ban in effect a SBD just doesn’t count

#10 – a pinch farter can be used to fill in for a person who has to leave the game temporarily but it has to be a person who was not already in the game – when the regular farter returns the pinch farter steps out of the game and the regular farter takes the base that the pinch farter had reached if any and gains any runs that the pinch farter had been able to score

#11 - cheating by making noises that resemble farts but that are not real farts will cause the person cheating to be ruled "Out" if on base or if another person is on base then the other person will advance 1 base on the "Wild Pitch" - a second occurrence of the cheating will cause the cheater to be ejected from the game

Skidsteer
10-20-2007, 16:56
This should probably be submitted to the Articles forum.


:D

musicwoman
10-20-2007, 17:03
*makes mental note to bring gas mask on hike*

warraghiyagey
10-20-2007, 17:58
Makes mental note to bring tent.:)

EWS
10-21-2007, 01:02
Makes mental note to bring tent, to use as the official stadium.:)

Awful brave of you.:D

warraghiyagey
10-21-2007, 03:00
Awful brave of you.:D

OK, I'm a writer and you changed my quote. But you owed me one. I hope this makes us even. . . you. . . you. . . . you poopyhead.
:banana

Footslogger
10-21-2007, 09:41
Like it! Now we need sponsors!

====================================

Maybe Johnson Products (you know, the makers of GLADE air freshener) would be interested ???

'Slogger

karo
10-21-2007, 17:51
There is a surprising lack of good definition about what the rules are for fart baseball so I thought I would add a few quotes found on various sites about the rules for fart baseball:
HOI,
I didn't read thru all the posts, but it sounds like the rules are similar to belch poker!

gold bond
10-22-2007, 08:11
Now if we could find a way to harness all that "gas" we could lessen our pack weights by not having to carry fuel! O crap...that stove has not been invented yet.

Freeze
03-23-2009, 21:46
How about if you **** your pants? Is that a home run?

Tin Man
03-23-2009, 22:38
How about if you **** your pants? Is that a home run?

foul

sheepdog
03-23-2009, 22:51
Due to fears of green house gasses and global warming fart baseball may be canceled.

Tin Man
03-23-2009, 22:55
Due to fears of green house gasses and global warming fart baseball may be canceled.

well, the winter indoor league didn't keep me warm. just saying.

sheepdog
03-23-2009, 22:58
i wonder who will throw out the first pitch??

Tin Man
03-23-2009, 23:00
think obama will throw out the first pitch??

............politics is banned my friend....

sheepdog
03-23-2009, 23:15
............politics is banned my friend....
I withdraw the statement

ed bell
03-23-2009, 23:17
With the right game conditions, I'm pretty sure I could hit for the cycle.

Tin Man
03-23-2009, 23:18
With the right game conditions, I'm pretty sure I could hit for the cycle.

amateur

Tin Man
03-23-2009, 23:20
amateur

dangit, how did warrghy get my password :confused:

jlb2012
03-24-2009, 08:13
remember the key to success in fart baseball is a high fiber diet that includes beans


wrt belch poker - too easy to cheat - some of us have mastered the art of swallowing air and then belching it back up