Preacher Dude
01-09-2007, 18:40
Received this via e-mail...thought I'd post it on White Blaze in the hopes that all the hiker trash guys would enjoy it and add more rules that would be applicable to our hiking community. ......Here goes:
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story
Here-to-fore, we have always heard
"The Rules"
From the Female perspective
Now here are the rules from the male perspective.
These are our RULES!
Please note....these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday Sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
It happens.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT !
1."Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you
want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that happens every night for 17 months is a
PROBLEM
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria's Secret models
Then don't expect us to act like
Soap Opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted
two ways and one of them makes you
sad or angry, then we meant
the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just, do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible,
Please say whatever you have to say
During Commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit
We have NO idea what "mauve" is.
1. If we have an itch, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing",
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle,
besides, we know you will bring it up again later anyhow.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an anwer to
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine....
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as baseball, the shotgun formation or
NASCAR
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!!!
1. Daily sex is not an option
1. Hiking the trail whenever I want to... is not an option.
Well guys ...there you have it....comments and additions are welcome....Have fun with it!!!!
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story
Here-to-fore, we have always heard
"The Rules"
From the Female perspective
Now here are the rules from the male perspective.
These are our RULES!
Please note....these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday Sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
It happens.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT !
1."Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you
want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that happens every night for 17 months is a
PROBLEM
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void
after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria's Secret models
Then don't expect us to act like
Soap Opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted
two ways and one of them makes you
sad or angry, then we meant
the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just, do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible,
Please say whatever you have to say
During Commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit
We have NO idea what "mauve" is.
1. If we have an itch, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing",
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle,
besides, we know you will bring it up again later anyhow.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an anwer to
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine....
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
as baseball, the shotgun formation or
NASCAR
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!!!
1. Daily sex is not an option
1. Hiking the trail whenever I want to... is not an option.
Well guys ...there you have it....comments and additions are welcome....Have fun with it!!!!