PDA

View Full Version : In Praise Of Me.



Jester2000
01-29-2007, 22:20
In celebration of my 400th post, surpassing by a good 20 posts or so the previous record for me posting on a site, a record which has stood since all the way back in 1998 when a fresh-faced rookie named Shane sat down in front of his landlord's computer and said, "how do I get to the Star Wars chat room?", I praise myself.

And then I pretend to be slightly shy and embarassed by the praise, but I am not.

And then I look back upon my first ever post, to see if the me from back then can make the me from now laugh as much as the me from 10/20/03 did, and I see this:

"Love Shaw's. Incredible people and a wonderful place. But a recommendation -- don't ask for Work for Stay if they're about to slaughter the cow."

I realize I am a genius, and resolve to forgo the false modesty when I praise myself in the future.

Jim Adams
01-29-2007, 22:26
nice, very nice! AND good advice.
geek

The Old Fhart
01-29-2007, 22:45
Jester2000-"....don't ask for Work for Stay if they're about to slaughter the cow."If this story involves a shovel and large quantities of potential sausage casings, I've heard enough!:eek:

Jester2000
01-29-2007, 22:56
But then there is a moment of doubt. Perhaps I am not a genius. In my first post I spell embarrassed with but one "r." A sense of shame begins to creep.

But then I remember that Aristotle always forgot when the cutoff date was for wearing white, and that Rousseau could never recall the words to "The Name Game."

Confident once more, I stride boldly towards post 500, where I shall misspell the word "colossal."

moxie
01-30-2007, 00:05
:banana Jeeze, I just noticed you are just 36. How did you get so worldly in such few years. HAPPY 400th post old friend.

iliketacos
01-30-2007, 03:15
Jester,

Well said. :-?

RAT
01-30-2007, 03:38
Jester, I am close behind you ;) Of course the many thousand I have on the forum I am a paid mod for doesnt count , heh, I cant remember how many I had on Hobocentral but I bet it was alot :)

RAT

RedneckRye
01-30-2007, 03:57
Ewe our uh ghengis. Did aye spell that write? Probly knaught.

Jack Tarlin
01-30-2007, 16:17
I did a work-for-stay in Keith's barn immediately AFTER they'd slaughtered a cow.

I still have bad dreams about it. :eek:

WalkinHome
01-30-2007, 16:26
Jester, when I saw the title of your thread (Me.) I thought you were going to discuss Maine. Don't EVER do that again!!!! See ya soon.

mweinstone
01-30-2007, 18:09
can i have the cloudes books author? its funnyer than you. but you right good enough to make money at it. and you tell a great campfire story. if you were a cloud ,.. you would be a jestirius histerionimbus. ya know the lady from the simpsons who allways says" i like that" ?like,..you just stole my car!,...i like that. well,.. the jester is funny,..i like that.

Jester2000
01-30-2007, 21:15
Jester, when I saw the title of your thread (Me.) I thought you were going to discuss Maine. Don't EVER do that again!!!! See ya soon.

Graciously, I take WalkinHome's advice/threat under advisememt. I ponder if, perhaps, I should praise Maine in this thread, so as not to disappoint any wayward whiteblazers. But no, I decide that to do so would dilute the praise I send my way. I refuse to go "off-topic."

I applaud those who would join me in my praise of me. But then I wonder: has my own praise somehow made others believe, falsely, that they are not permitted to take part in the praising of me on this thread?

I am confused. To ease my troubled mind, I think of Maine.

Lone Wolf
01-30-2007, 21:19
oh yeah. noticed the me. assumed another maine thread by weary or tj. anyway, congrats. GIVE TO THE MAINE LAND TRUST!

Mags
01-30-2007, 21:21
I applaud those who would join me in my praise of me.

By praising "me" are we really praising "you"?

If we are praising "me", then which "me" is "me"? Or would that be "you"? :O

Jester2000
01-30-2007, 21:31
By praising "me" are we really praising "you"?

If we are praising "me", then which "me" is "me"? Or would that be "you"? :O

Mags' attempt to confuse me snaps me out of my reverie. Maine is lovely, but a serious philosophical question awaits.

I decide that answering a serious philosophical question is too much work. I decide to reply that I give permission to the me that is Mags to praise the you that is me.

To do less would suggest that I did not deserve to be Time Magazine's "Person of the Year."

bfitz
01-30-2007, 21:41
I paid for my room the night they slaughtered the cow, but I remember the thousand yard stare of the hikers who did the work for stay. As to your puny post count, Jester, though you are amusing, you must surely grovel before a Whiteblaze Warlord such as I.

Jester2000
01-30-2007, 21:52
I paid for my room the night they slaughtered the cow, but I remember the thousand yard stare of the hikers who did the work for stay. As to your puny post count, Jester, though you are amusing, you must surely grovel before a Whiteblaze Warlord such as I.

I think back on the cow, as I too was there. Why is it, I think, that this cow remains in the memories of so many? Memories so strong that they would waste time reminiscing about her instead of praising me?

I move on, but not in a dot org kind of way. I recall bfitz' theory, that quantity has its own quality. But then again, he was speaking of sex, and to those for whom quality is impossible, quantity must seem truly wonderful.

Before my thoughts return to praise of me and how I might divert money from the Maine Land Trust by starting a Me Land Trust, I am reminded of a quote from the finest movie ever, "Miller's Crossing":

"You take a page outta this guy's book -- a little less you talk, a little more you listen."

I then praise myself for my cleverness.

bfitz
01-30-2007, 22:04
I move on, but not in a dot org kind of way. I recall bfitz' theory, that quantity has its own quality. But then again, he was speaking of sex, and to those for whom quality is impossible, quantity must seem truly wonderful.Fo' shizzle!

bfitz
01-30-2007, 22:05
Even a small quantity would be great!

1Pint
01-30-2007, 22:32
Graciously, I take WalkinHome's advice/threat under advisememt. I ponder if, perhaps, I should praise Maine in this thread, so as not to disappoint any wayward whiteblazers. But no, I decide that to do so would dilute the praise I send my way. I refuse to go "off-topic."

I applaud those who would join me in my praise of me. But then I wonder: has my own praise somehow made others believe, falsely, that they are not permitted to take part in the praising of me on this thread?


Okay, okay... you've laughed me into it... I'm in praise of you and The Dude and company for making me laugh so hard I won't need to do any crunches tonight. Congrats on being such a wonderful poster. Happy now? ;)

The Old Fhart
01-30-2007, 22:33
Mags-"By praising "me" are we really praising "you"?"
WalkinHome-"Jester, when I saw the title of your thread (Me.) I thought you were going to discuss Maine."You guys have to pay more attention. Mags, Jester correctly used "Me"(capitalized M), not the generic "me", I'm sure you see the difference.;)
Ray, If Jester wanted to praise Maine he wouldn't have used "Me" but the correct postal abbreviation, ME.:D

bfitz
01-30-2007, 22:37
"You take a page outta this guy's book -- a little less you talk, a little more you listen."

Jester... "All in all not a bad guy - if looks, brains and personality don't count."

Mags
01-31-2007, 00:11
You guys have to pay more attention. Mags, Jester correctly used "Me"(capitalized M), not the generic "me",


Ah ....good thing we did not talk about "I" then. ...

camojack
01-31-2007, 04:49
Since I've yet to break 10 (posts) I'll just praise HI...where I'll be this coming weekend.

:sun Hawaii (http://www.hawaiicaves.org/dir.htm) Ruck in February!!! :sun

moxie
01-31-2007, 09:54
As the Chief Executive Officer of the town of Mount Vernon, Maine (yes I really am) I make the following proclimation:
I here by declare that Shane O'Donnell, aka Jester 2000 is a horny citizen of Mount Vernon, Maine and entiled it all rights and privlidger thereof. Whenever Jester is in town the town hall will be known as Billville Towers.
No, that wasn't a misprint but now when he say's in praise of me he can legally praise Maine.;)

Jester2000
01-31-2007, 21:06
Hmmm. I contemplate a trip to Mount Vernon, ME. Will I be able to understand what the townsfolk are saying? Will the town hall be decked out in red bunting and Tractor Supply Company logos? Will I mistakenly ask a local where George Washington's house is?

No, no, I am too wise for that. Was it not I who, late in 2003, offered this sage advice:

"Trail Days is in Damascus. Flights to the Middle East should be pretty cheap, so book now."

Yes it was.

I am wise and helpful.
Was it not I who, through my creation of this thread, allowed 1Pint to forgo the need for crunches? I offer a heartfelt "your welcome" to your abdomen.

But I am suddenly concerned. Has Moxie provided sufficient security to prevent a terrorist attack on Billville Towers?

TJ aka Teej
02-01-2007, 00:13
Has Moxie provided sufficient security to prevent a terrorist attack on Billville Towers?

Moxie is probably busy making little lite-brite cartoon man signs to hide about the entire town of Mt Vernon. This of course will cause wide spread panic, perhaps even all the way up to Vienna, which is French for Billville anyways :D

moxie
02-01-2007, 10:25
Long before I became Chairman of The Board of Selectman I was the town constable in Mount Vernon. When Jester is in attendence at Billeville Towers I will stand on the roof with my crossbow and 8 inch barrel 44 magnum and should be able to tend off any attackers trying to get at our precious Jester. Once I was known ae "the only law west of Wings Mills". Also in exchange for a case of natural light beer I can arrange to have the local redneck coon hunting club placed in the town square and have them shoot at any stranger who approaches. No doubt they will be too drunk to hit any invader but at least the shot will scare them off. By the way Jester, as a citizen you should be aware of our town motto, "We've got cable"

Nightwalker
02-01-2007, 17:05
Since I've yet to break 10 (posts) I'll just praise HI...where I'll be this coming weekend.

:sun Hawaii (http://www.hawaiicaves.org/dir.htm) Ruck in February!!! :sun

:welcome, ya old redneck. I really enjoyed seeing you at the NOC. Hope to see you again soon!

camojack
02-02-2007, 01:36
:welcome, ya old redneck. I really enjoyed seeing you at the NOC. Hope to see you again soon!

Well...I'll be in Hawaii until March 3rd at 11:59 PM. :sun

Other than that...Trail Daze? :banana

Nightwalker
02-02-2007, 14:38
Well...I'll be in Hawaii until March 3rd at 11:59 PM. :sun[/I]

My Birthday! Cool...

I'll be as old as Wolf and almost as old as Jack. And I hope to be hiking.

1Pint
02-02-2007, 15:14
Well...I'll be in Hawaii until March 3rd at 11:59 PM. :sun

Other than that...Trail Daze? :banana

Yeah, yeah, we know, we know.... still hate you for it too!


Have a great time and take some cool pics for the rest of us stuck in crappy not-enough-snow-to-do-anything-but-freeze country. ;)

Jester2000
02-04-2007, 23:43
Upon my return from New Hampshire I check in on whiteblaze. I go to the thread "In praise of me," expecting to find just that, but to my horror people are discussing Hawaii and birthdays and the Cartoon Network.

Hikers are not known for their focus.

I decide to get us back on topic.

"I have discovered that I am an excellent driver, and, during the periods when Baltimore Jack was in my truck, an engaging conversationalist."

bfitz
02-05-2007, 10:32
I am...during the periods when Baltimore Jack was in my truck, an engaging conversationalist."And at other times.

STEVEM
02-05-2007, 11:31
Jester, Congratulations on your 400th post. Praise to ye. I do have a few questions. Are all fools Jesters, or is a Jester a superior fool? Do the number of points on your hat signify rank? Bells or no bells? Do you get April 1st off with pay?

http://www.fantasycostume.net/renaissance/renaissancejesterfools.html

WalkinHome
02-05-2007, 21:58
Hi Jester, I praise you more than you can know. Remember that time that you and I were in the closet together at the Doyle........Oops, did I say that out loud? Is this what you had in mind seeking praise? I should shut up now right? But then we came out of the closet didn't we-and it was good. Sleep now.

weary
02-05-2007, 22:14
Jester, when I saw the title of your thread (Me.) I thought you were going to discuss Maine. Don't EVER do that again!!!! See ya soon.
Me too. I've been terribly depressed ever since. I may have to visit Desert Lobster in California to recover.

weary
02-05-2007, 22:18
oh yeah. noticed the me. assumed another maine thread by weary or tj. anyway, congrats. GIVE TO THE MAINE LAND TRUST!
GO Lone wolf! No one on White Blaze has offered better advice.

Weary www.matlt.org

Jan LiteShoe
02-05-2007, 23:53
Jester, Congratulations on your 400th post. Praise to ye. I do have a few questions. Are all fools Jesters, or is a Jester a superior fool? Do the number of points on your hat signify rank? Bells or no bells? Do you get April 1st off with pay?

http://www.fantasycostume.net/renaissance/renaissancejesterfools.html

This may call for legal opinion.

The diamond leggings would be especially fetching on the trail. Say, trying to hitch from 19E.
:)

Wearing them up Roan Mountain would qualify one as a fool on the hill, in particular if he sees the sun going down.

At that elevation, it would be fair to call him a superior fool. That would qualify for lots of praise.

Jimmers
02-06-2007, 01:32
But would Jester look fetching in said leggings?:-?

I gag a bit at the thought, and must say no. Although others may say otherwise. Walkinhome?:D

Jan LiteShoe
02-06-2007, 08:48
But would Jester look fetching in said leggings?:-?

I gag a bit at the thought, and must say no. Although others may say otherwise. Walkinhome?:D

Eek! Cancel! Cancel! I take it all back.
The black-and-whitediamond leggings are COTTON!

Cotton KILLS!
:eek:

New recommendation: the yellow dance-quality tights. Never know when there might be dancin'.
:)

Jimmers
02-06-2007, 08:57
And if ever there were a dancin' fool, Jester would be it.;)

Jester2000
02-06-2007, 18:35
Jester, Congratulations on your 400th post. Praise to ye. I do have a few questions. Are all fools Jesters, or is a Jester a superior fool? Do the number of points on your hat signify rank? Bells or no bells? Do you get April 1st off with pay?
[/URL]

I thank Steve for the praise. I ponder his questions. . .
Not all fools are Jesters, think I. Jesters are fools with a purpose. I thank Dagonet, the fool under whom I apprenticed, and throw just a thin slice of praise his way, as I am saving up praise for the end of this post.

The number of points on the hat are in direct relation to the number of points on my head. Head?

Bells only when not in stealth jestering mode.

April 1st is the day many fools begin hiking. . .


But would Jester look fetching in said leggings?:-?


I look fantastic in any kind of leggings.

I, in fact, praise the way I look in leggings.

mambo_tango
02-06-2007, 18:52
I think men's leggings are definitely in the same level as speedos and plumber's cracks. Just say no.

Jester2000
02-06-2007, 18:59
I think men's leggings are definitely in the same level as speedos and plumber's cracks. Just say no.

I praise the way my plumber's crack looks, especially when I am wearing speedos.

I jest, of course. Speedos are only allowed to be worn by unfit French Canadians.

I am concerned. While 22 brilliant, good looking, morally sound people have posted on this thread, I see by the views that it is entirely possible that 884 other people have not taken this opportunity to praise me.

What is wrong with them?

mambo_tango
02-06-2007, 19:03
Watch what you say about French Canadians! It is possible they don't praise you because they don't know you. That is why I haven't praised you.

Jimmers
02-06-2007, 19:25
I praise the way my plumber's crack looks, especially when I am wearing speedos.

Ugh. And right at dinner time too. I praise Pepto Bismol about now.:D

Who said head?

STEVEM
02-06-2007, 21:08
Upon my return from New Hampshire I check in on whiteblaze. I go to the thread "In praise of me," expecting to find just that, but to my horror people are discussing Hawaii and birthdays and the Cartoon Network.

Hikers are not known for their focus.

I decide to get us back on topic.

"I have discovered that I am an excellent driver, and, during the periods when Baltimore Jack was in my truck, an engaging conversationalist."

Ah, thy absence is explained. On a quest with Sir Jack of Baltimore through the great north wood. No doubt ye and the Noble Sir Jack encountered the evil demon Jim of Beam. A crusade to rid the Shire of New Hamp from the great southern evil. No doubt the wenches did swoon. Praise again to the Jester.

Jester2000
02-08-2007, 18:37
It is possible they don't praise you because they don't know you.

Truly, they are missing out. I now feel terrible on behalf of all those, French Canadian or not, who do not know me.

I imagine that every once in a while, not often, but occasionally, they feel a vast, gaping emptiness in their souls. They know not why. Occasionally, they think it is because they were forced to read No Exit by Sartre when they were juniors in high school.

But I think we all know the real reason.

moxie
02-08-2007, 23:52
:-?

"I imagine that every once in a while, not often, but occasionally, they feel a vast, gaping emptiness in their souls. They know not why. Occasionally, they think it is because they were forced to read No Exit by Sartre when they were juniors in high school." (a quote from the great Jester)

If memory serves me right I remember a Jester from 2000 who was a teacher in Arizona, no doubt forcing juniors in high school to read No Exit by Sartre when you should have been forcing them to read National Lampoon. What comes around goes around.