View Full Version : The Balad of Doc the Creepy Dwarf

05-08-2007, 18:45
Hearken all ye hikers-thru, so you may hear the tale
of the quest of the Creepy Dwarf called Doc that he pursued (but failed).

For Doc was born in a faraway land where all the Creepy Dwarves do dwell
And said one day after finishing school that “Hiking the AT would be swell”.
So he started off north from Springer, so many years ago,
And trudged he did with a heavy pack through rain and sleet and snow.

Four boon companions, he did quickly find
and all walked together, their paths momentarily intertwined.
From the North came Scrubs who knew about all things mathematical,
from the South was PJ, a learned man on all things grammatical.
From Florida came Sparkles whose knowledge of smokeable herbs was impressive,
And from the West was Burger, the brave and overtly sexually aggressive.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares, our 5 brave friends did persevere
until at the Lake called “Fontana”, Sparkles caught poison ivy severe.
And from his hospital bed he sadly said “I guess my journey’s done”,
“Go on my friends, forge ahead and don’t forget have fun”.

With heavy hearts our 4 close friends continued over the Mountains of Smoke,
To Hot Springs and the Iron Mountains through valleys and forests of oak.
Till one dark day at the cliffs of Blackstack, how it happened, none could recall,
For that is where our hero Doc the Creepy Dwarf, had his terrible fall.

“My ankle hurts”, the young Doc whined and tried to walk with a moan.
He tried wrapping it and Vitamin I, but nothing would sooth the aching bone.
He hobbled on to Spivey Gap, and they caught a hitch into town,
And that is where Doc met Janet of Erwin, whose kindness to hikers was renown.

Doc’s three close friends said goodbye, as Doc remained to heal,
“I’ll miss you guys, but I won’t give up” he said (keepin’ it real).
For one long week he stayed with Miss Janet drinking moonshine that was homegrown,
Till eventually the swelling went down and he set back off all alone.

On and on and on and on the old trail flowed over mountain and dale,
Doc walked with new friends like Dad’s Grin and Turtle and Snail.
Through Virginia and Maryland, over rocky PA and New Jersey
On the Dwarf went (nothing rhymes with “New Jersey”).

Until one black day, a call came to Doc, lo on abouts the end of May,
far from where his future boss (let’s call her the Witch of the West) did lay.
“Doc you must abandon your quest earlier than had been agreed and NOW join my fold.
I mean it, money’s tight and if you want a career, you’ll do as your told.”

So Doc left the trail, his journey incomplete and to his friends said goodbye
And to the fold of the Witch in the West and his life’s work he did fly.
For eons and eons the Doc did work, bitter at having been so capitulary
And the many years seemed to him a single month that he called “Helluary”.

Until one day late last May when on the Doc, the Witch was throwing a fit,
The Dwarf thought to himself “I’ve had ENOUGH, she can take this job and shove it”.
And, as always the quest (still unfinished at best) in the back of his mind did lay,
The Dwarf laid his plans to return to the land where he disappointed left off that long ago May.

And so unto Vermont and the Green Mountains Doc has returned this very day,
The quest to complete, the trials to meet, he will begin without delay.
Thru-hikers say “hi” as you pass him by while he’s finding his trail legs,
so look for the Creepy Dwarf called Doc, slow down to talk, and urge him on, he begs.

“I will not quit till I get fit and to Maine and Kahtadin I do arrive.
This is my quest and I’ll do my best; walking at least 10 miles a day I will strive,
Though I’m a little late, 2000 miler’s surely my fate, and I thank God for this day,
So here I am, and hear me scream DOC WAS HERE, HOORAY!!!!!”

05-08-2007, 22:58
Welcome to WhiteBlaze, Doc.:welcome Isn't it interesting how the AT is always at the back of your mind?

05-09-2007, 07:12
Good luck with The Quest!


05-09-2007, 16:26
Haha. I love it, met up with Scubs and PJ in 2005. Good guys - may be the same folks.

Take this job and shove it, well done. Good luck.

05-09-2007, 17:01
Very well written!

05-10-2007, 14:36
ps. i'm not actually starting till june 13!